Tuesday, After class.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuMVbSqDN3
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I had been thinking about it all day.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iU2LRFgc6
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About what Hina said yesterday afternoon, about what happened the week prior. Asking someone else to help with my problems. To fix what felt like to me, a burden that I had been carrying all my life. And the person chosen by her?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5ps1Eua3a
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Kuroiwa Rei.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeh5LV0LjU
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I was always familiar with that name. But the person behind it always felt far away and I had my back turned towards him. I’ve only caught the words that were constantly passing around the school. And they were not very pleasant to hear or even to think about. I didn't know what he looked like. Well... just vaguely. The same with most people in our class. I felt that everyone’s eyes refused to look at him. Just like mine. Not even a second.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT93Mby0Tqf
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“There has to be a better option.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhjZWxdSSG
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Mika finally broke my chain of thoughts. She was standing in front of her desk, two rows near the windows at the front of the classroom.
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I had remained in my seat ever since class ended an hour ago.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNsl3hSSgYz
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I looked at her.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYeo2HJ8pA
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Her arms crossed like she always did whenever she was against an idea she knew it didn't make any sense. Feet planted on the floor with one slightly ahead of the other. Her face, firm, different from how she usually looked. Her eyebrows tried meeting each other in the middle. I knew that look. I've always known it ever since we were little. And right now? That look was directed to Hina.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKEsGkptfCW
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“Hina,” Mika continued. “Have you heard about this guy’s reputation?”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtx6N9PAKpT
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Hina was staring toward the back door of the classroom, sitting at her own desk near it. Calm. Steady. Her eyes looked with expectation and her smooth lips, covered with a thin layer of pink lipstick, smiled. She was very relaxed. In fact, she was so relaxed that if I stared at her for a few minutes, I would almost hear her humming in my head. And that bothered me. A tiny little bit.
“Someone told me that he fought ten upperclassmen behind the school!” Yui raised her hand as she poured some of her cheerfulness into jumping down from the teacher’s desk where she sat. “And as a matter of fact, everyone says he has connections to the yakuza.” 87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVg0BjtMLtz
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“I heard his eyes have supernatural ability to stab you just by looking,” Hina said. The smile on her face was still there. She turned around to look at Yui. “Apparently three students went blind last week.” She giggled.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkvJjVxIh9
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“That’s weird, I never heard of that.” Yui pondered.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgECpLQtU1
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Mika started getting impatient. She never found anything funny about what had been said.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhaNMQp5r4u
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I did... giggled quietly.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXtGfgbPz0
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“That’s exactly the point!” Mika uncrossed and recrossed her arms, which for her was the equivalent of raising her voice. “On top of everything – he’s a loner, he never talks to anyone, everyone at school avoids him. People don't just avoid someone for no reason, you know.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyM0YeV72o8
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I knew that. I knew all of that.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTi2KWDs7M
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Since the beginning of the school year, I had spent every school day believing what others had said. And his nature of always being a loner made a radius of two empty seats between him and everybody else during breaks.. The rumors sounded ridiculous, they all did. But there was no reason for me to just throw away all I heard. I never intended to talk to him in the first place, even now.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0QBPEa3s29
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu5FKLYrf29
But the image of my mom being worried, her calling my father who was working overseas. My friends’ frustrations whenever I didn't get what they were teaching me. The supplementary lessons after classes. Me having to go home alone. Everything. They were all mixing together with the thought of this mysterious person who was also my classmate.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xcQP3M3oW
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I swallowed everything and said nothing.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7RWjEl0d5
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“Just trust me,” Hina said simply. She was looking at me specifically even though Mika was the one talking to her.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡon2j5eAf9q
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I nodded. Very subtle nod.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03isgdu7hJ
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Then she blinked towards Mika and gave her a stare, the one she always did when she meant to say that she knew more and had no intention to explain anything. We just had to accept it.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGxv1d1bh0
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Mika opened her mouth. Closed it.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyAsmLOOM3
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I felt the same way. When Hina was being like this, pushing back was going to become a huge wall to overcome. The words she spoke were few, but the weight of confidence in them was too heavy.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHazG6vHPf
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“I just…” Mika lowered her voice. Her head tilted towards the floor. “I still don’t think this is a good idea.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzACFuDE9G
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“Terrible idea!” Yui agreed cheerfully while raising both her hands.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgi47GngNT
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I sighed, stood up and went towards Yui. I couldn’t stand the fact that I felt like I was losing an argument I was never even a part of. Maybe in spirit. I don’t know.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTclwusFcxp
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Then the back door opened.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Xjk01WpwA
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I stopped in front of Yui when it happened. I saw her stand up straight from the sound. And I could feel Mika do the same without looking at her.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYmYxbTpII
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I felt him come in.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTpKzugGUq
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His steps were slow. With a certain rhythm that sounded careful. Sounded patient. Gentle.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Lr3DuxSg7
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Gentle?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8eWdAsx4Xg
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Curiosity crept into me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZidZDmjPvN
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So I turned. Slowly. Reluctantly, like my body knew something my feet hadn’t caught up yet.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXRh2KBKru
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I looked at him, and he saw my gaze. My eyes snapped back towards the floor.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjCUXounN9
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He kept walking. After taking a brief look, I got the feeling he had been observing us. The three of us in the front of the class. While he continued towards his seat. At the back beside the window.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpx8f6qXczM
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Behind me, Yui was not moving. I couldn’t see her face but her hands suddenly gripping my arm already told me that she wasn’t looking at him either. Mika as well seemed to be doing the same when I glanced at her.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkU0LVKwYK
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“What does he look like?” Yui whispered.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFBjzZ7m20
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“You have eyes.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4aolhiJMh
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“I can’t use them right now.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8tX2rui8F
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“Why not?”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpAsmk6qwu
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“I just can’t.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hwmIBWDpG
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“Hi.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuE4gxbeLmA
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That calm voice that suddenly filled the silence came from Hina.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1uToThZel
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Just a little bit. For just a little bit I looked up at her direction.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWtGRw6MW4
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She was composed. Walking. Confident with each step. Towards the silhouette of that guy I was currently trying not to look at.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2NhO6JaOa
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I could almost hear the thoughts of Yui and Mika synchronized with mine.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLRYEbTrmQ
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How?
How is she so calm right now?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkoXSs2RxJ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rD8ZC6dNO
“Kuroiwa Rei,” Hina said, with a slight hint of familiarity in her voice. But as far as I know, this is the first time I heard her talk to him. “Do you think you can listen for a second?”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprfo4Rw2jH
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The silence was everywhere inside the room. Too quiet that the noises that came from the classroom below us were the sounds I could hear.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjifRjrMbo3
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I never heard an answer from him. Normally, you would stop talking to the guy at that point, right? Normally, you would think that he's not interested in having a conversation with you. But Hina was different. At least I think she was acting differently than normal at this point. I thought she knew what normal meant. But right now? She was definitely ignoring what it meant.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfVMIGidhd
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLagjeHFl1W
“There’s something the four of us need from you.” And there you go, she kept talking. And of course, with the ease of someone acting like she did not just spend the last few minutes being reminded that this could be a bad idea. “We were hoping you might be able to help our friend study.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxZrDtTcjaV
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I flinched. I was not ready for the conversation to shift onto my existence.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdAIT1O12b
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“Study?” he said.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1ibji0mv2
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One word. The first time I heard him talk as far as I could remember. And it was that one word delivered in a voice that was flat and unhurried yet somehow still managed to fill the space it occupied completely.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WRE80u35l
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“Exactly,” Hina said, sounding genuinely pleased.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQLvuvQ5hR
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I was not. Definitely not pleased.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7vn4CcZYD
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I kept drifting my eyes towards Hina but when I caught a glimpse of him I reverted to my companion, which is the floor. I kept repeating the same thing, but mostly, the one who I intended to look at was Hina. And unfortunately, my eyes were conversing in silence with the floor when footsteps started to fill the room.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdi4LsFV3z
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Slow. Steady. Careful. Patient.
My eyes refused to look up. I wanted to brace myself but perhaps looking down was the much safer option to choose right now.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3pT6fTwJy
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The footsteps got closer. Then stopped.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu9Glrwtws
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It stopped right in front of me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nmyFvUbXN
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I didn’t move. I tried to breathe.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWWsiaA8XM
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Then I looked up because not looking felt worse. I was careful not to look at his face. But an open hand sure appeared right in front of me. Patiently waiting.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a6rsjxAjE
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“Test papers,” he said.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuriULa5Zb
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“Ah.” I didn’t intend to let out any sound, I did anyways.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUDa3eGIBE
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I hurriedly went back to my seat but the grip of Yui’s hand behind me slowed me down a little. I wasn’t thinking about it when I released my arm from her hands. I felt her trying to grab it again but I was already far. I felt sorry. She stood there in front of him for two seconds before she decided to follow me and settled behind me once again. My hands managed to find my test papers inside my bag. I took a deep breath then started walking towards him. Yui followed me, still behind me. Then, without looking at him directly, I offered them to him.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2aI5ZDfWT
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At that moment I wondered.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhOyujHUqG5
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Will he laugh? The thoughts arrived continuously. I’ve never shown anyone these scores except my friends. Not even my mom. Is he even capable of laughing?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIG9qHgOB09
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“I bet his laugh would sound like a villain’s,” Yui whispered from behind me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRQie7w19U
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“Not now,” I whispered back.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lTcmx5zIT
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He took the papers and glanced at the first one.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjRd7vN6yR
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“Terrible.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafSdHayvzv
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I heard Yui swallow a laugh behind me and I made a note to address that later.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Uie8ZtIF6
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“Hey.” Mika raised her voice suddenly. She still looked stiff but the comment she heard from him somehow gathered some courage for her to say what was on her mind. “You can’t just say it like that.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhwwxYOsCV
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He looked at her from the corner of his eye.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh9hOTfPt8
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She went quiet.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJrPqE7paL
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Thank you, Mika… Sorry, Mika…87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7W4d1CI1sr
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The movements of his hands told me that he went back to examine my test papers. I still couldn’t look at his face. Partly because of the conceived idea that this guy was scary. And also partly because I was nervous about seeing his judging eyes. I just stared at his hands. He wasn’t saying anything but I could feel the tension building around my stomach. I could imagine him trying to look at every single mistake I made, every silly answers I gave. And I wanted to sigh. I couldn’t even sigh.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHXFoBcIDl
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“But not impossible,” he said.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PSDxQUgF2
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I blinked.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatUCa6TycA
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“Really?” Hina sounded delighted. I was confused.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZCb0AQoQz
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Not… impossible… I repeated his words back to my thoughts.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWeP6HYFjRP
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“She answered everything,” he continued. “Ninety percent wrong. But she answered everything.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyKeTIfAOy
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Another muffled sound from behind me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKF97fofcS5
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Yui… I swear.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0fkNuO0Yf
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“The answers she gave were wrong. But they aren’t random,” he explained. “She gave some kind of logic behind them, wrong logic, but there’s effort and it shows that she’s trying to solve them.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeXII23txV
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I listened to him. And I started thinking back.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIYvxc26TA
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Because..87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36Ew06tfHH
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I had tried. I had studied. I gave my all.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XQvrwRk9F
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Everything was wrong in the end. It felt like I wasted all those times I stayed up late reading my notes, checking all my text books and yet failing to retain what I learned.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfmUWtEnkS
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I gave the right efforts for everything. But the wrong results were what I got back.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxx5DhooknM
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I wanted to tell him. I wanted someone to acknowledge them. And I don’t know if he did. So I asked.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDf1DkJmjk
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“Does that mean… there’s still hope?” My voice came out steadier than I expected.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Yf1o9CFq9
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“Sure,” he replied.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2tass8kOp
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That wasn’t reassuring. An of course would’ve been better. Just sure, like it was simply a fact he was confirming.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai9yJM1gC2
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I’ll take it, I thought.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodV9WsE5rl
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“But I have a condition,” he suddenly added.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnj6dnlxRtl
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I was in the middle of smiling when I heard that. And I felt my smile slowly fading and then my mouth opened.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCiKYeNKye
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Of course. It’s not going to be for free.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDuBrI7G6gt
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“How much?” I asked, before I’d thought about it.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3UN8JG3Bl
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“I don’t need your money.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vqMDAwBDZ
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I looked at him… for a second then I looked at his hands. Then what?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV6ReWFV8M
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3NACB9vIG
“What do you mean?” Mika already asked before I could. She already crossed her arms again, and that meant she was already done adapting from the tension. I wished I could do the same. “If it’s not money, tell us what you want.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoUFLDqmdR
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScUIieIX0C
He was just silent. Then he walked. Unhurried as always, back to his seat.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvhrkO2q2D
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93p82jNtvM
He reached into his bag and took out a notebook. Then he slowly tore a page from it. He steadily placed the notebook back inside his bag. And carefully he wrote on that page he tore. He patiently folded it neatly. And then he finally walked back.
Why is he being slow when I’m already nervous?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFF0hPt86Vf
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrFYVSTc0F
He stopped in front of me and held out that neatly folded paper to me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmn1pCKjJh
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLGV8f63Ha
“Don’t open it yet,” he said. “That’s my address.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzMmdHqOrr
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8WscHs1xX
“Why are you giving her your address?” Mika’s voice went sharp immediately.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRLwUU4b9m
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GRMNbV7BD
He kept his eyes on me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOcNwG9Xyi
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6Fp2GCdy7
“Come to that address tomorrow afternoon,” he said. “Alone. If you want to hear the condition, you’ll hear it there.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5JNRYtDIF
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQzT5PLN6m
Alone? I sat with that word for a moment.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxvSbQE65Y
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4Wjju6fsD
Alone. In his apartment. Just the two of us?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhHOUjRNhE
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpVjBlA2WE0
Me, with a boy with a terrible reputation?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfES7Pp6Oid
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxw9Y5sshb
I had to say no. No was the immediate answer. And it’s where this conversation should end.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYYmA3zZqG
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygYO3gGkra
But the word. That one easy word to say wouldn’t come out. Instead it was drowned by two other words.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKAJJEljhh
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOmvN1Nl9f
Not Impossible.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh5xCizJLkL
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFARF7dVtl
“No!” Mika said what I couldn't. “Absolutely not! Why does she need to come alone? I’ll go with her.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZ2tYYykcS
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrH9xlp9b4
“I need her to come alone.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbbpGgjM5l
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEApfLfY5V
“Then this is over. We’re not agreeing to that.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYE9HcRG69a
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nodNcOQxe
He looked at her.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyolPkMD98X
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoKP16PIxQ
“Tojo Mika,” he said.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GnVEqTx9y
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNo3IvTxTof
Mika stopped.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vjV4iAi3b
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplelSYUzUP
“Always ready to answer when the teacher calls on you. Above average grades. A few points from breaking into the top ten.” He retained his usual way of talking. Serious, precise and unwavering. “The annoying girl with pigtails.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg89Mk91UgB
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSY4Ee0te6
Mika’s mouth opened.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS3D0g5wn7
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7LL6pAgnkP
“Shirogane Yui.” He stared at the one who had been trying to hide behind me all this time.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8n7S8xrOd
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGVBBHN1ZU
Yui made a small startled sound.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PyhcFfjap
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjrgbtwApk
“Decent in class. Your reasoning when teachers call on you is good. You just don’t take studying seriously enough. A little more effort and you’d be above average.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OyMfPVwc7
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnMbThjXAD
“Oh,” Yui said softly. I could practically feel her eyes glittering wide behind me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WsrfrYl2f
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9jKY4mFMG
“Asakura Hina.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2oxSMWIjP
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMUIXBrUft
“Hmm?” Hina tilted her head like she’d just been greeted across the cafeteria.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrcKwil8f0
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFCfeKskXf
He paused for a second.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwrn2JwbOH
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRzcgs9PSe
“Top two in our grade. Excellent across subjects. Your math is the one place you’re leaving points on the table.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhS4FGloPp
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHakr12znw
“My, you’re actually right.” Hina smiled. Genuinely smiled. Like she was pleased someone had brought it out and noticed.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJyoC4sY9G
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnzOkscaRbN
I heard that. And I wanted to protest. She got 91 in math and he still called it lacking? Isn’t that a little bit absurd?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwuSm34qW9
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQkG93yqGM
I felt mildly annoyed this time.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPDJv3PKhv
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDxwmRVGxE
“None of you are bad students,” he continued. “All three of you know how to study.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZwfrchk0k
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcABbJPHYXM
“So what is your point?” Mika said. Still sounding fierce. But when I looked at her. She was looking at the floor. It felt like she knew what he was going to say next but still asked anyway.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5xj7YqTLJ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUjDlMNJWU
“And yet.” He paused. “You gave up on her.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOdwW5mDQl
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tSpupLWGZ
Everyone went still.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusJklFlJI2
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8mgrZqvRp
Yui stopped moving behind me. Mika’s arms dropped slowly. Even Hina was quiet.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlaGNwe6sp
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWEGnVwrohW
As for myself. I did not understand what he meant.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WDomzWAba
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8t495C7t9I
“You probably tried,” he continued. “And when it didn’t work, you stopped. Three people who know how to study. And none of you stopped to ask why it wasn’t working for her. Why she couldn’t hold onto what you were teaching her.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Qv0eOi8LO
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RLJRGx0CF
“It’s not their fault.” I let it out. I wasn’t planning to, but I let it out all the same. My voice was shaking slightly, I wanted him to stop. “It’s hard for me to hold onto things. They’d explain something and I’d get it, and then after a while it would be gone. It’s not their fault. They did everything for me. They did everything they could. I was just… lacking…”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2Rs1yWznV
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXSAQRv0Ns
My hands were shaking at my sides.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXLKDz6Pjp
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzS3YCjcDl4
“I’m the problem. Not them.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZilzDLIaOt
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8HtlVXHkr
I tried to let those words sink into him. But the voice that came out next wasn’t from the person I wanted to speak in this moment.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zAljppBpS
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbCQs6avvK
“I’m sorry, Runa,” Mika said. It was barely a whisper.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8bn57ROV8
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhVuPNcID9
Behind me. Yui’s hands let go of my arm and she wrapped hers around me. She was quiet, and her embrace meant an apology I didn’t want her to give.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRD8qXihMb
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2YVLfJZ10p
I stared at the floor.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdMlMbwLzK
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVDKHX4F77
It’s not their fault. It was never their fault.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wWRpdSMmB
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQblw33u56H
He let out a long exhale from across me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTb7mq5sEV
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRswamFOyc
“I know,” he said. “You think it’s your fault.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgl4IKmA0Ew
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvC2pQYlY0u
“You don’t understand…” I looked up at him. I looked up at his face. And for the first time I actually looked. Really looked. And I noticed immediately. His hair, messy and dark. Clearly never been introduced to a comb. His face that looked sharper than I expected up close. Angular in a way that would have been striking if he put any effort into it at all, which I assumed was something he would never do. He’s taller than me by some noticeable margin. And his eyes were just looking back at me. Dark and direct and completely still. Intense, in a way that made sense of why people avoided them. But honest. Telling me that all he just said was true. “Don’t say it like that about them. They tried. They really tried to help me. They tried everything.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3imhI40SXW
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJtifeUCdM
He held my stare. Never looked away, never felt threatened. Somehow it was more unnerving than if he had.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEX4lXsCAg
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnxsUYXywN
“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t understand.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYR6cdMiaqy
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRTghVenWN
He looked around and then stopped his gaze on me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkutzAuoIyC
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhxXZe30Op
“But from where I’m standing. All of you are at fault.” His voice cut through my excuses. “Not because they gave up, but because none of you understood why it wasn’t working. Not them. Not you. Nobody stopped to ask the right question.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkiERUl5O4B
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZ539vHzgg
Where I failed, he succeeded. Those words he said sank deep inside me. But the quiet my friends had surrounded me with, made me feel like it sank deeper for them.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi511Pmr84G
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9WOEHGSS4D
“Studying is a skill,” he said suddenly. “It’s not something you either have or don’t. It’s something you learn. Something you can get better at. But only if you understand how.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgLKEoGQtf
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNS9dnG85s
That stuck inside my thoughts.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3uYdQIlK9
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdBiUhSsQY
A skill.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEoJ6QAmE1
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqFCRz2i0E
Not a talent. Not something you either had or didn’t. Something you could actually get better at.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCLG32D4ZF
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFJ1W65RrE
Which sounded like exactly the kind of thing someone said right before they sold you something.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡba4LOVBIPS
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK2rq8pHcSi
And yet.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nm8RRAi5F
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHO6Qb9XUZz
I wanted to believe it so badly. I wanted it to be real. But I don’t know if he was telling the truth. I don’t know if I could actually trust his words.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMZC9kmBZi
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUD4QAEJZXT
He moved towards his bag and carried it with his hand towards the back door of the classroom where he suddenly stopped.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRs8Vndf3V
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpLIXFGvMN
I watched him. He was moving slowly, but not as slow as I remembered a few minutes ago.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrzVwJy5Mj
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA5yNCW0eY
“If I help you,” he said, “you’ll be in the top ten of our grade by the end of the year.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9MIXvGDXE
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8t5VZwVnHi
Mika’s eyebrow went up.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9Gnpx9zir
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvuwQkMR9M
I didn’t say anything. I just listened.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKAt0NGOtg
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FIPDcS9jI
“It won’t be easy,” he continued. “But it’s achievable.” He stared at me. “If you agree to my condition.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbdsdvB9kM
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb46VYyzBd
And just like that. He was gone.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SwhhLcun5
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2dgW94ke7
Nobody was making a sound. Not even Yui, who I thought would’ve already said something ridiculous but she stayed behind me gripping her arms around me tighter than before.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOYfGHMzbZ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDtPwe1ALS
“He called me annoying.” Mika broke the silence. Her voice had a mix of ‘about to get angry’ and ‘about to get confused’.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCc5GgCRhFY
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JTy0wi1Do
“He called all of us by name,” Hina offered.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktisxWOFA9
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMP8BTT02u
“He specifically called me annoying!”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCYtuDy6ka
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGc08HkdTj
“He also assessed all our academic capabilities without ever being asked.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwkpGd95r1
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ297zYyKs9O
“That’s creepy and also not the point.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidOWxfrl7G
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfoHW6hGyM
“He was wrong to call you annoying,” Hina said. “But was he wrong about everything else?”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZPQKXkguR
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmypdvTYsGM
Mika slowly stared at the floor. “...No.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvDbxF4nTf
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgY3He0vMwG
“I was hurt as well, since he was right.” Hina carefully walked towards Mika, then she placed her hand on Mika’s head. “But I think he is someone we can trust,” she said and her familiar smile returned.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LWzNLHU39
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d1KIPTz5I
“How do you know that?” Yui finally spoke, peeking at Hina from behind me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡorC1VJLCDt
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpj33QQlhA
Hina smiled wider. “I just do.” She glanced at Yui and gave her a little wink.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7v2rF8Qfd
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxfoOvPVuw
“You can be really weird sometimes,” Yui told her.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAgqqPQCna
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡornoI91x8m
And I agreed with Yui. I didn’t know what to think. Everything he said seemed too good to be true. Top ten? In just a year?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡep2og32ndY
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKzm0xbSIo
I looked at the folded paper in my hand.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRly3dtYaa
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZQHqqw4FM
“… I still don’t trust him,” Mika said quietly. But I heard it.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpohkP84Ek
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oHECKy9jc
I don’t either. But the hope he gave me was uncomfortable and at the same time something that I wanted to hold onto. Something that maybe could turn my life around.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7OjFZxClA
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmqCts1gEu
I closed my fingers around the paper.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDxGRT5UUB
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KVoWquOhD
This idea is terrible, I thought.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1wD1j9l6s
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcZFSt4SKlF
And yet.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2ezKXdcGg
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDiBxb71dx
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuN4fpTTkaA
Tuesday, afternoon87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a5YE39TfZ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Ipc2xKaqQ
On the walk to the station, Yui and Hina did most of the talking.
Yui finally regained enough of her composure for her to tell us stories about what was happening in another class. Specifically class 2-C. And she presented them with such focus and energy that she was like delivering some breaking news. Hina listened as she always did and sometimes contributed to them as well.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAvoKqweC9
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZc3LtBMCc
I laughed with them. I said the right things. I didn’t want to show that what happened just a few moments ago was still shaking my thoughts.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGUgyGhY4U
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWQL1STwav
Mika walked beside me like she always did. She wasn’t talking.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Lr7roqe57
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABqN08N0Sd
That was always how she got when something was sitting on her. The words went inward instead of out. I knew because I’d been watching it happen since we were small enough that the walk between our houses felt like an adventure.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCoPnlHHl2
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVwq7V0GvR
We split at the station like we always did. Yui and Hina going one direction, Mika and I going the other. Yui waved her hands as she rode the train with Hina. I smiled at her. And then they were gone.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNYYWZKclM
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNFqND8BQt
The train was quiet for the few stops between school and home, and by the time we were walking the familiar street toward our houses the afternoon had gone golden and long around us.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqM7CLaxLbE
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3llfU55iM7
Mika hadn’t said anything yet.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgdzV1f0Bz
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I let her be.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiddAKJOzV2
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQXK9P94lv
“Will you go?” she asked finally.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFrWrUp7WX
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIYBsXQcMQ
“I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure. Maybe I was sure.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvTonbaMK9
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HfoL5beeG
I don’t know. I repeated in my head.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfCsYDhlj9
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQMymiyhdX
“He’s not someone you can trust easily,” Mika continued.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagwiqwahnJ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOTnZYdK1R
“I know.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq4UqnArfLF
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEN2Gdzj8Fa
“Everything he said…” She stopped herself. I knew what the end of that sentence was.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsEQd44Rdv
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDDbKgCgsZ
Sounds impossible. Doesn’t add up. Doesn’t make sense.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4k339Mq8B
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPwHHrztvA
“I know,” I said again.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1J2t6Xnnq
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5rSpRGTEAE
We walked half a block without talking.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjedd6Lrp4S
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsixJTBkSan
“I’m sorry,” Mika said. Softer this time. “I keep thinking, if we’d tried harder, or differently…”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0TYYn5CUEB
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FpyATqzWh
“Stop,” I said gently. “It’s not yours to be sorry for. I mean it.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqevFHZrD5H
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNl7N3wDjxZ
“I want to try again. We can start over, do it differently…”
“Mika…”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDzy5FSNff
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOCgLVY6sq
She went quiet.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCYkXYkBUW
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhIty0p8KC
“You already tried,” I said. “You all did. And I know you would again if I asked. But I also know it didn’t work, and I don’t know why, and maybe that’s what he was talking about.” I looked at the street ahead. “The right question nobody asked.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QwNpnE3Za
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSs91sc4KKs
Mika kept silent as we continued to walk.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQRN4Ruk9K
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYsfUPF5h0
A few seconds later.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzczetVX1Y
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7uKx09zXD
“If you decide to go,” Mika said eventually, “and anything feels wrong…”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw8v5WPErao
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUEySpsK5Wj
“I’ll call you immediately.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwQOoKOyfA
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6xtnzAKsd
“Before immediately.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7E6JgDk2qZ
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXxiZoDOVWR
“Before immediately,” I agreed.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9HVgZqpj7
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAyeuki0CZ
“I don’t want you to go.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWkXMfySBe
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcYm9C6RJJ
“I know.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNVPpDeaqnz
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NGVWNr76U
“But you’re going to anyway.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4ZTMxFYUO
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ291saFNwTQ
I looked at the folded paper still in my hand.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxy5pt7wdX
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7NMedDh16
“...Maybe,” I said.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYMztQz434
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZT50jaTMY
Mika exhaled. She knew that at this point she would never be able to convince me.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNBuerPaTP
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSsh4QFeeKF
I smiled at her.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaO1P7WP0s
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2AyEs65HML
“Stay safe,” she said. “Call me when you get there. Call me when you leave.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1k76Zx6jNl
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBczO966san
“Okay, mom.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPvsxYxTob
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNN2LZqRZJu
“I’m serious.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXXgbaayIE
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTHqGVqnhG
“I know you are. That’s why I said it.”87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZG3rreBkUF
She smiled at me but as soon as she turned away, I caught her trying to hide an expression she didn’t want me to see.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLE0Z3Od7e
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9URkTfueK
I looked up at the sky instead. The clouds had turned colors, orange edging into pink at the horizon, the blue above it going deeper.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy39LD5uOhI
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxcSMG52bs
Will I go?87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZZF5In6pF
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRe6mQY04ui
I didn’t have the answer yet.87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAKEuEulXn
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd877jtlMD3
But I was running out of time to keep saying I didn’t know.
87Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI2LckVawwq
and then Add to home screen.