幕后逗留者 - 【幕后逗留者】1

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“小弟弟，你长大后有什么梦想吗？”

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街头的麦克风顶着冷风凑到少年嘴边

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当时的 Lee Know 才14岁

被镜头捕捉时

他正抓着书包肩带

准备去练习室

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像是熟练一般

对着镜头露出一个标准的

带着点“天然呆”的礼貌微笑

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微微露出两颗可爱的兔牙

声音清澈得像深秋的泉水：

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“ ……我想当歌手。”

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镜头里的少年笑得眉眼弯弯

这孩子生得好看

像个不食人间烟火的小少爷

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没人知道，在未来的日子里

这个名字

将会成为舞台上最锋利的刃

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在这个圈子里，没有人懂 Lee Know

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除了他自己

没人知道他那种近乎自虐的自律

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除了家，舞蹈室就是他赖以生存的孤岛

五岁开始

那里的木地板就记录了他每一次倒下的弧度

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砰——

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又是足尖重重落地撞击地面的声音

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凌晨的练习室

冷气坏了，闷热得像个巨大的蒸笼

Lee Know 的灰色背心已经完全变成了深灰色，贴在起伏的脊背上

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因为过度专注

他甚至没察觉到左脚踝传来的阵阵钝痛

——那是前几天扭伤的旧疾

他只是盯着镜子里那个满脸通红

眼神却冷得吓人的自己

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“...再来。”

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他对着镜子轻声说。像是下达死命令

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曾经因为长期营养不良

而在排练间隙昏倒

醒来时视线模糊

胃里翻江倒海地抽搐

可他只是支起身子，干呕了几声

又重新站了起来

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他并不觉得苦

甚至在那种虚脱的眩晕中

...感到一种变态的快意

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「因为梦想是有重量的，这种重量必须压在骨头上，才算真实。」

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这是他从小到大紧紧握住的信念

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他在社团活动或大大小小的舞蹈比赛中脱颖而出

站在灯光下

动作精准得像一台完美的精密机器

每一个肌肉线条的发力都恰到好处

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台下满是尖叫：

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“ 哇！那个男生是谁？超厉害的！”

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“ 这舞感绝了，他是吃了CD吗？”

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“ Lee Know 超赞的好吧！”

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演出结束后

他总会笑着向每一句赞美鞠躬致谢

眉宇间带着那种招牌式的亲和感

甚至会蹦出几句笨拙却真诚的鼓励。

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没人觉得他傲慢

只觉得他是个有点呆萌

容易亲近的天才

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可没人知道

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那种从僵硬生疏到如鱼得水的蜕变

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中间隔着多少个撕心裂肺的长夜...

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除了 Lee Know

没有人能真正体会

那种独自一人

关掉练习室最后一盏灯

拖着像灌了铅一样的双腿走入夜色时

与世界隔绝

孤独的滋味

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需要有人了解吗？

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「不需要」

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宁愿硬生生地嚼碎这些破碎不堪的经历

烂在肚子里

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也不需要任何人去知晓他的来时路

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