幕后逗留者 - 【幕后逗留者】29

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当晚，凌晨两点，新宿舍

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两个各怀心思、吃醋吃到快要气炸的人

在玄关处不期而遇

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待机室的白炽灯早已熄灭

客厅里只开了一盏昏暗的小夜灯

Lee Know 正站在冰箱前拿冰水

听到玄关的动静，动作一顿

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Han 拖着疲惫的步伐走进来

一抬头，正好对上 Lee Know 转过来的冷淡视线

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换作平时，二哥早就走过来

一边毒舌他怎么又这么晚回，一边顺手接过他的包

或者直接去厨房帮他热牛奶了

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可现在，Lee Know 只是靠在流理台旁

手里握着冰水，眼神冷得像首尔十二月的深夜

半点走过来的意思都没有

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Han 看着眼前这个男人

脑子里却走马灯一样疯狂闪过他搂着别的人腰、对视拉丝的画面

心里泛着委屈又酸涩的泪水

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“回来了。”

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Lee Know 看着他那副仿佛大病初愈、累得快要散架的小身板

天知道他有多想走过去把这只小松鼠一把揉进怀里

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可只要一闭眼，下午在录音室里

Han 毫无防备地对 Changbin 撒娇

甜甜地喊着别人“最爱”的画面

就像针一样扎得他满心都是酸水

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但他终究是舍不得对 Han 冷脸

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无声地叹了口气，Lee Know 还是放下了冰水走过去

他的动作放得很轻，像是怕惊扰了刚恢复不久的病人

习惯性地伸出修长的手指

想要去捏捏那张他好几天没揉到的松鼠肉脸

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——嗒

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一声极其轻微、却在安静的玄关里显得异常刺耳的摩擦声

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Han 微微侧过头

第一次，抗拒地避开了 Lee Know 伸过来的手

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Lee Know 的手就这么结结实实地僵在了半空中

他的瞳孔骤然收缩

看着自己空落落的掌心

那些熬夜练舞的酸痛、绕远路送汤的疲惫

以及满腔无处安放的嫉妒

在这一刻，全部化成了巨大的挫败感和委屈

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“哥累了就先去洗澡吧。”

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Han 依旧低着头，死死咬着下唇

声音带着一丝憋到极致的委屈和鼻音

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“哥身上…有一股我不喜欢的香水味。”

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那是 Lee Know 在练习室里沾染上的、属于别人的淡淡香水味

在此时的 Han 看来，这是二哥属于别人的证据

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可在此时的 Lee Know 听来，这简直就是 Han 连碰都不想让他碰的残忍拒绝

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Lee Know 缓缓收回手

没有发火，也没有大喊大叫

他只是自嘲地笑了一声

把手无力地垂在身侧

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他看着 Han 那副抗拒的模样

眼眶竟然在不知不觉中泛起了一层薄薄的红

醋坛子早已被打翻

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他开口的声音带着一丝不易察觉的颤抖

却依然温柔得不像话，只是那酸水快要满溢出来了

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“也是，我天天练舞练得浑身酸痛，最后却只换来一句…嫌弃。”

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Lee Know 低头看着他

眼神里那股济州岛陈醋的酸涩

混合着对眼前这个病人的无可奈何

浓郁得化不开

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仿佛眼前的人，不再是病人

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而是遥不可及的恋人。

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“ 录音室里 Changbin 哥身上的味道好闻，对吧？毕竟人家是‘最爱的彬尼哥’，你在他怀里笑得那么开心…”

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“ 既然你那么喜欢赖着他，其实不用勉强自己回宿舍面对我的。”

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Han 猛地抬头，震惊又委屈地看着眼前这个眼眶微红、满脸写着“我受伤了”的二哥

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Lee Know 没有等他回答，只是自顾自地扯了扯嘴角

有些自闭地往后退了一步

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哪怕吃醋吃到快要酸死了

他上楼回房的步子也放得很轻，连关门的声音都刻意收着

生怕惊吓到了 Han

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砰的一声，门很轻地关上了

可那一扇门，却像是在两个人的心口上，结结实实地砸了一下

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不是这样的... 不是这样的！

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许久未见的哥哥，他怎么可能忍心看着他像从前一样碎掉呢？

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脑海里疯狂闪过 Lee Know 刚才那个眼神

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那双漂亮的猫眼里

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没有平时的胜券在握

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也没有那些逗弄他时的游刃有余

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那里亮晶晶的，写满了不加掩饰的受伤、挫败

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以及快要将他溺毙的、小心翼翼的酸涩

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那是在舞台上高傲得不可一世的 Lee Know 啊

现在，居然因为他一句憋着委屈的违心话

就这么卑微自闭地把自己锁进了纸箱里

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在这一刻，Han 脑子里那条名为“自卑”的银河

在 Lee Know 那滴要落不落的眼泪面前，

瞬间被炸成了粉碎

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他不要看到 Lee Know 对他露出那种眼神

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“ 哥——！ ”

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Han 猛地拔高了声音，因为着急，那声呼唤在寂静的宿舍走廊里显得格外凄厉

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他连鞋都顾不上脱，一把扑到了 Lee Know 的房门前

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“ 李旻浩！你给我开门！你开门啊！ ”

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Han 伸出双手，毫无章法地、死命地砸着那扇冰冷的木门

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眼泪模糊了他的视线

让他看起来像一只在暴雨中快要急疯了的小松鼠

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“ 我没有嫌弃你！我没有……呜……我没有喜欢录音室，我更没有喜欢彰彬哥的味道！我最讨厌彰彬哥了啊！！ ”

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别这样...

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哥...别误会我啊...

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房间里，一片死寂

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就在 Han 以为 Lee Know 真的打算彻底不理他

绝望得把额头抵在门板上、眼泪即将夺眶而出的时候——

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咔哒

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眼前的门板毫无预兆地往里一松

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Han 顶着通红的眼睛

正准备不管不顾地继续大喊

可在看清门后那人的瞬间，所有的声音像是被硬生生卡在了喉咙里

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Lee Know 站在门后，没有发火，也没有面无表情

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他只是微微垂着头

平日里那双总是高傲、清冷的漂亮猫眼里

亮晶晶的，大颗大颗的眼泪就这么毫无预兆地

顺着他苍白的脸颊一滴接一滴地往下砸

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——Lee Know 哭了

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他咬着牙、拼命隐忍

肩膀因为极度的委屈和疲惫而在轻微地颤抖

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Han 彻底懵了

原本满腔的怒气和飞醋在这一瞬间被浇得熄灭

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在他的记忆里

二哥永远是那个最坚固、最不可动摇的依靠

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他什么时候见过 Lee Know 哭成这副样子？

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一瞬间

积累了一整夜的委屈和心酸

还有 Lee Know 掉眼泪的极度心疼

排山倒海般涌了上来

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Han 的眼眶猛地一热，大坝决堤一般，眼泪也跟着啪嗒啪嗒往下砸。

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“ 呜……哥你别哭啊……”

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“ 你一哭……我、我也想哭了啊……”

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Han 一开口，声音软得一糊涂

带着浓浓的哭腔和鼻音

他慌乱地凑上去

伸出两只颤抖的手去捧 Lee Know 的脸

一边帮他擦眼泪，一边温柔的抚摸着那为了自己操碎心的脸孔

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就像之前在黑暗里

Lee Know 安抚他那样

温暖又细腻

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“ 走开……”

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Lee Know 沙哑着嗓子开口，别扭地偏过头去

可声音里的颤抖和无措根本藏不住

他任由小松鼠温热的手掌贴着自己的脸

眼泪却流得更凶了

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“ 你不是嫌我身上的香水味吗？你不是觉得 Changbin 最好了吗…既然那么嫌弃我，还跑回来找我干什么…”

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现在的 Lee Know 像只受了委屈的猫

哭得一抽一抽的，索性把脸埋进 Han 的掌心里

这一幕直接击中 Han 内心最柔软的一处

Han 带着满腔的哭腔和软糯的尾音

委屈地大喊着控诉

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“ 我今天坐了两个小时的巴士，偷偷跑去你的舞蹈室了！我是在门外看到你和那个漂亮姐姐跳舞，动作那么亲密...”

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“ 我心里难受得快要死掉了，回录音室才跟 Changbin 哥抱怨的！ ”

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Han 抽噎着，用红通通的眼睛控诉地看着 Lee Know

声音里全是撒娇式的委屈

像是忽然想起某样东西一样哭腔里带着一丝理直气壮

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“ 结果！你一回来，身上还真的带着别人的味道…你凭什么哭得比我还委屈啊…呜呜….”

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我全身上下，最喜欢的、最想要的

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只有李旻浩你一个人的味道啊...

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听到“坐了两个小时巴士”和“吃漂亮姐姐的醋”

Lee Know 长长的睫毛剧烈地颤了颤

视线马上扫视小松鼠身上那件裹得严严实实的、属于他的旧卫衣

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原来……不是 Han不要他了

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而是这只笨松鼠，一个人带着一身孤勇，跨越了大半个首尔去见他

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却在门外无辜被结结实实地酸了一整天

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“ 噗，你怎么...这么傻啊...”

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Lee Know 实在没忍住

胸腔里发出了一声极其沉闷、却又温柔到了骨子里的轻笑

可眼泪还是顺着笑意一起掉了下来

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“ 谁让你去舞蹈室偷看的……那是舞蹈编排，我连她名字都没记住……”

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“ 你给我听好了，韩知城。那些照顾，从来都不是因为你生病。还有...哪怕你这辈子都不生病，我李旻浩这辈子的鞋带，也只帮你一个人系。”

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他红着眼眶，在 Han 的耳边狠狠地咬牙

给出了这辈子最绝对、也最无赖的誓言

却默默把 Han 的安全感拉到最满档次

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Han 抱着怀里这只终于肯对他卸下所有防备一边流泪一边放狠话的大猫咪

心里又酸又软，忍不住用下巴蹭了蹭 Lee Know 的头发

小声嘟囔着

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“ 嗯嗯…最喜欢二哥了。”

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像是被 Han 的肯定给安抚好了

才过了几秒，Lee Know 又摇身一变

变成一只傲娇的委屈猫咪

赖在 Han 的怀里里不肯离开

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“ 还有，你...为什么不肯接我电话啊...”

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“ 还不是因为——”

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欸？？？

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停停停！！

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绝对不能说！

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说出去了，连朋友都做不成，那就糟了...

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看着那欲言又止的小松鼠

滑稽又笨拙

Lee Know 泛红的桃花眼终于往上扬

泛起了无数宠溺的曙光

那狐狸尾巴再次翘起

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下一秒，他再也忍不住了

猛地一低头，狠狠地把脸埋进了 Han 的颈窝里

那只在舞台上极具力量感的手

死命地扣住 Han 的后脑勺

力道大得像是要把这两个星期缺失的温度

全部一次性补回来

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Lee Know 闷在他的颈窝里

声音带着浓浓的鼻音

却别扭又霸道地圈紧了手臂

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“ 你现在不说也没关系... ”

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“ 以后，我们...来日方长。”

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说话间滚烫的气缓缓地注射在 Han 的颈窝

满是撩人的语气

Han 直接原地宕机

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…李旻浩

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你真的...太犯规了

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可奈何身体不擅长说谎

手掌有一下没一下地轻拍着 Lee Know 的背后

就任由那只破涕为笑的爱猫在怀里待久一些

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久一些也没关系了

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新宿舍凌晨两点的房间里

两个哭得眼睛通红的幼稚鬼死死地抱在一起

两罐打翻了一整夜的醋坛子

最终酿成了蜜糖

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他们跨过了误会

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可他们深知

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那银河，还在

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那蜜糖，还并不是最甜的

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可眼下

就只差一把顺意大火

就可以彻底把那所谓的银河

燃烧成燎原的灰

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