《那些不敢再說的事》 - 唔小心Like咗前度2016年張相

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呢件事，我到而家諗起都仲會想搵個窿捐入去。

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話說前年，疫情期間，大家冇乜嘢做，成日喺屋企碌電話。我就係咁，碌吓碌吓，碌到瞓着咗。

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問題就出喺呢度——我瞓着嘅時候，隻手指仲擺喺個mon上面。

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唔知點解，我碌到前度個IG page。又唔知點解，我碌到一張佢2016年post嘅相。又唔知點解，我隻手指喺我瞓着嗰陣，㩒咗個心心。

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仲要係雙擊嗰種。

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第二日朝早，我起身，打開IG，見到一個通知。

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「crystalchan_1023 已接受你嘅追蹤請求。」

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我成個彈起身。

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我冇追蹤佢㗎！我分手嗰陣已經unfollow咗佢！點解會追蹤咗佢？我㩒入去睇，見到自己個頭像下面顯示「已追蹤」。

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我即刻㩒「取消追蹤」。心跳快過跑完八百米。

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然後我再碌落去——見到自己個心心，喺佢張2016年嘅相下面，紅噹噹咁閃住。

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張相嘅內容：佢同佢當年最好嘅朋友嘅合照，兩個女仔喺咖啡店食緊waffle，笑容燦爛。Caption：「同呢個傻婆一齊，食咩都好開心❤️」

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嗰個心心，喺七年後嘅某個星期三嘅凌晨三點十二分，被我——佢嘅前度——用一隻瞓着咗嘅手指，輕輕咁㩒落去。

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我即刻㩒走個心心。但冇用㗎，對方已經收到通知。

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唔信你試吓，喺IG Like完人哋張相再即刻Unlike，人哋部電話一樣會彈「crystalchan_1023 喜歡你的貼文」。收得工。

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嗰日朝早，我坐喺床上面，諗咗好耐。

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佢見到嗰個通知嘅時候會諗咩？

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「吓？佢仲睇我IG？」

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「佢做乜要Like我七年前張相？」

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「佢係咪仲未放低我？」

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「佢係咪想搲返我？」

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「定係……佢只係唔小心碌到？」

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最後嗰個可能性，係最合理嘅，但亦都係最唔會有人信嘅。因為冇人會覺得一個正常人會喺凌晨三點碌到前度七年前張相，然後咁啱喺度瞓着，咁啱隻手指咁啱㩒落個心心上面。太巧合，巧合到似藉口。

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我諗咗一個鐘，最後決定——不如直接message佢解釋？

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我打開message box，見到我哋最後一次對話係三年前。佢send咗一句：「我哋分開啦。唔好再搵我。」

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我冇回覆過嗰句。

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三年後嘅今日，我嘅第一句message要係：「其實我尋晚瞓着咗唔小心like咗你張相」？

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望落去好似我搵藉口。

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我打咗一段嘢：「喂，唔好意思，我尋晚碌IG碌到瞓着咗，唔小心like咗你張相，我唔係有心㗎。」

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望住嗰段嘢，覺得好似仲衰。似我仲好在意佢，在意到要專登message解釋。

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又打咗第二段：「好耐冇見。其實我想講，我唔係想追返你，我只係唔小心㩒錯掣。」

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呢段仲衰。似此地無銀三百兩。

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又打咗第三段：「Sorry。」

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一個「Sorry」之後我唔知行落去要寫乜。Sorry for what？For like咗你張相？定係for三年前分手嗰陣我講過嘅嘢？

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最後我乜都冇send到。

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我選擇咗做一件更加懦弱嘅事——我block咗佢。

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對，我block咗前度。因為我唔小心like咗佢七年前張相。

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block完之後我先發現：block咗佢，佢就睇唔到我個profile，但佢已經收到嗰個like嘅通知。佢會見到「crystalchan_1023 喜歡你的貼文」，㩒入去，發現搵唔到我個account。佢會點諗？

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「佢block咗我？」

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「佢like完我就block我？」

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「黐線㗎？」

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仲衰。

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我unblock返佢。然後又覺得唔妥，又block返。來回咗三次，最後我決定——unblock，然後唔好再搞任何嘢。

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當冇發生過。

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呢個策略，喺當日晏晝就被摧毀咗。

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因為我個friend阿強，send咗一張截圖俾我。係crystal個IG story screenshot。佢post咗一張黑底白字嘅圖，寫住：「有時真係唔明啲人，分手三年突然like返我七年前張相，然後又block返我。你想點？」

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仲有兩個hashtag：「#莫名其妙」「#請勿打擾」

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阿強問我：「係咪你？」

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我：「……唔係。」

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阿強：「你望住我對眼。」

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我：「WhatsApp邊度有眼。」

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阿強：「你仆街啦你，佢成班friend都知係你。你個IG名同頭像三年冇轉過。」

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我打開crystal個IG，發現佢個post下面，佢個friend留言：「咪係xxx囉（我個名），佢個頭像仲係嗰隻柴犬。」另一個friend回覆：「痴線，三年仲未放低？定係飲醉酒？」

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第三個friend回覆：「不如話佢想復合啦。」

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我睇住嗰啲留言，血壓升到一個新高度。

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我想留言解釋，但又驚越描越黑。我想DM佢個friend解釋，但又驚佢個friend會cap圖俾crystal睇。我想打電話俾crystal，但我冇佢電話號碼。我delete咗三年了。

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最後我嘅解決方法係——換IG頭像。唔用柴犬，改用一隻貓。轉名。轉bio。轉晒做private。

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然後我delete咗IG app。

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三日。

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三日之後我裝返。crystal已經delete咗個story。佢冇再send任何嘢。我哋之間嘅嗰個like，好似從來冇發生過一樣。

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但我知道，佢記得。佢啲friend記得。阿強記得。我自己記得。

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半年之後，我喺銅鑼灣行街，遠遠見到crystal。佢同一個男仔一齊，兩個人拎住一杯珍奶，笑得好開心。

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我見唔到佢個樣，因為我喺佢望過嚟之前已經擰轉面，行咗去第二度。

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唔係因為仲有感覺。係因為怕佢認得我，然後諗起嗰個凌晨三點嘅like，然後覺得我係個變態佬。

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嗰日返到屋企，我同自己講：以後碌IG碌到眼瞓，一定要鎖mon先好瞓。

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然後我又諗：其實成件事，最荒謬嘅唔係like錯相。

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而係三年過去了，我仲會碌到佢2016年張相。

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我到底係用咩關鍵字碌到咁後？

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呢個問題，我先唔敢答。

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有啲嘢，講出嚟之後就返唔到轉頭。

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比如話，如果我承認我其實係特登碌去佢個page睇吓佢最近點——咁我個「唔小心like」就變咗「特登碌去睇然後扮唔小心like」。

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邊個版本好聽啲？

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我揀瞓着咗嗰個。

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因為至少瞓着咗，係天意。

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天意嘅嘢，冇得怪自己嘛。

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係嘛？

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阿強話：「你同自己講咋。」

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我話：「你收聲啦。」

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阿強話：「你仲未放低佢。」

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我話：「我放低咗㗎！我只係唔小心碌到！」

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阿強話：「你碌到七年前。七年前。你由2023年碌到2016年。你同我講唔小心？」

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我冇再覆阿強。

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因為佢講中咗一啲我自己都唔想承認嘅嘢。

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但嗰啲嘢，我唔會喺度講。

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正如crystal嗰個story所講：請勿打擾。

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收到。

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唔打擾了。

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但你嗰張waffle相，真係影得幾靚。

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七年後都係。

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呢句係真心。

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但呢句真心，我都唔會講俾佢聽。

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因為有啲嘢，講咗之後就返唔到轉頭。

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而我想返到轉頭。

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返到嗰個凌晨三點，喺我隻手指㩒落個mon之前，搶走部電話。

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然後同自己講：「收手啦，去瞓覺。唔好再碌佢IG了。」

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但歷史冇如果。

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我like咗就係like咗。

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我block咗就係block咗。

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我換柴犬頭像都改變唔到呢個事實。

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而家每次有人問我：「你有冇試過IG like錯嘢？」

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我都會笑一笑，然後話：「冇呀，我好小心㗎。」

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然後喺心裡面，默默多謝crystal冇cap圖廣傳。

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多謝妳。

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真係多謝妳。

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同埋……sorry。

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唔係sorry for like錯相。

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係sorry for 三年前分手嗰陣，我講過嘅一啲嘢。

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嗰啲嘢，我先係最想收回嘅。

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但唔緊要啦。

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妳而家開心就得。

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我見到妳同新嗰個男仔一齊，笑得好開心。

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嗰種開心，係我俾唔到妳嘅。

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咁就夠了。

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至於嗰個like……

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就當係我最後一次，用一個唔小心嘅方式，同妳講聲「我仲記得妳」。

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但以後唔會了。

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我應承自己。

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（阿強：你上次都係咁講。）

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（我：……你收聲啦！）

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📖 呢個故事獻俾每個IG like錯嘢嘅你。唔使驚，十年後回頭睇，全部都係笑話。歡迎嚟我嘅主頁睇更多「唔小心」嘅故事——保證尷尬得嚟又好笑，好笑嘅時候又有啲嘢。97Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENHpYRhLvN

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