I do not know how long I died. Wait, am I really dead?
Ever since the tsunami took my life away, I have been living in this void. I do not know what I should do to end this. I want to see the light. My whole life has been a mistake. Everything has changed. Changes may be difficult to accept at first. It could lead to bad things. It could lead to good things. For all I know, no one likes changes.
My change occurred when I opened my Pandora’s box.
That night when I drank too much water before I went to bed, I woke up at midnight. I walked past my parents’ bedroom door. The light was still on. I walked closer to it. Normally, they do not allow me to go near their room, but I do not know why I had the courage to do so. I opened the door like a Pandora’s box. I did not close it when I ran away with tears.
I bet they could hear my footsteps when I left. Their words daggered my ears. Even they mumbled, they said they were going to leave everything just for this little kid. No one could ever take all away from him.
My eyes were wide open when I saw they were hugging the little baby with a face I had never seen––a warm smile.
I could not believe I use the word warm to describe my parents. They do not smile that easily. The last time I saw their genuine heartfelt smile was when they got a big promotion at work and they celebrated with some “magic” drink they said I could not have. Souvenir blonde? And one that is called the night blossom. That I know how to pronoun. I listened to every word they said.
I tried to impress them by studying more and harder. They never complimented me in a caring way. When I had dinner with them, I watched them feeding the little baby with food. We shared the same food. We shared the same table. We did not share the same parents. When someone was coming over to visit them, they never introduce me to them first.
It is never fair how one always be the dear while the others be the darn. It hurts me the most whenever I saw my stupid brother smile at me. I just wanted to nip that off on his face.
Of course, I did not. I let that anger sink in because he is never the problem. My parents are. I cannot get them. I pined for months before I relinquish. I did not know why I held such a strong complex feeling towards my brother. I could not ever hurt him, not even in the face of a tsunami. I killed him.
I was not thinking straight. He was like a tiny delicate Pandora’s box when I held him under the debris. I never opened it. He never opened his eyes again. He was painful. He was noisy. For all I know, once if he cried in front of them when they were in distress, he would be another disappointment. He could not experience that. He would be haunted by their scorn. They never change.
That was how I decided to kill him by hugging him a bit harder than usual. I prevent a mistake to be exposed. I saw my parents holding him deadly. I think they may think he was sleeping. How naive. I wonder what their look will be like when they look into the Pandora’s box.
In the void, there is a tiny delicate cinematic box that I could use to observe the time event.
I open the box. It is not that hard. Whenever someone you loved passes away, it will grant you one chance to open it. It takes up only one life. One vulnerable life. My little brother. He is not in the void with me. I could see his ghost floating around his corpse, being held tight by my parents, running away from the tsunami, not knowing the baby in their arms has been dead the whole time. They try to avoid the inevitable, not knowing everyone needs to face it at length.
As I close the Pandora’s box, I see them running to the end of the opposite side. They stare at the baby. They cry. They stop. They put down the baby. They get rescued by a helicopter. They smile. Watching as the tide caves in, engulfing the places where they once created the family in, the light ceases there.
I see myself losing my leg. I see myself as a mermaid, swimming through the tsunami. I conquer it. It is my revolution. I don’t like the word change. I prefer the word transformation. Ocean is my new home. Void is my new home. It may be hard to live here. It is the best place for me to live now. A true utopia with a closed Pandora’s box.41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxiDwBUBAMg
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