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這隻貓有毒
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這隻貓有毒
時繫月
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我以為我撿回了一隻無家可歸的乳牛貓，結果牠的內心戲比台灣八點檔還要多。


陳宇，台北標準社畜。在一個午後雷陣雨的黃昏，他在鹹酥雞攤旁撿到了一隻黑白中分頭的乳牛貓，隨口取名「牛牛」。

陳宇以為自己是在行善積德，但他不知道的是——

在人類眼中的牛牛：對著空氣揮拳、大半夜凌晨三點在家裡起乩跑酷、把頭塞進藍白拖裡定格十分鐘。

在內心世界裡的牛牛：

「噢，卑微的智人！竟敢用那散發著寒光的弒神之針（晶片針頭），將『牛牛』這種充滿草食性、每天只會嚼牧草的屈辱名字烙印在本王的靈魂深處！妳會付出代價的！」


……然後陳宇默默打開了一罐鯖魚罐頭。

「……真香。看在海洋精華的份上，本王暫且允許妳在私底下這樣熱切地稱呼我。」


外表貓界哈士奇，內心莎士比亞。

這是一隻精神狀態極度超前、隨時都在起乩的戲精乳牛貓，在台灣租屋處荼毒奴才的搞笑日常！

【注意】看書前請收好您的水杯與藍白拖，因為這隻貓，真的很有毒。


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Total Reading Time: 24 minutes
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輕小說 溫馨療癒 搞笑日常 寵物日常 爆笑喜劇
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Last updated: Jun 4, 2026
Total word count: 7,067
Total reading time: 24 Minutes
Writer:
時繫月
輕小說 溫馨療癒 搞笑日常 寵物日常 爆笑喜劇
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