外星人坐在我隔壁 - 豬哥的自白

剛才朱鎮經的口供我用手機完全錄下來，只要到了訓導處把這錄影播放出來，我不怕鎮經不認罪。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdNFmkGlWc
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxwPhF3ZDI
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnQF0HSTzk
進訓導處後，我看見有兩名陌生的女學生。她們見到鎮經流出鼻血，都表現出愧疚的臉色。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIK0vA6xSB
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WtLeWbYux
我心裡正困惑時，其中一名女學生說：「你們誤會鎮經了，鎮經不是色狼。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50s7DfnEy2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9Iw8qohpU
忠豪指著女學生鼻子罵：「你不要胡說八道，為他狡辯。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYWkj2azlu
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8kSaJhuth
「你先冷靜聽她們說，她們當時也在公車上。」訓導主任溫和地說，她算是我們學校最和藹可親、備受學生們信任愛戴的大家長。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaB9ELmyZ4a
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudJFyWbzWM
忠豪一聽主任這麼說便冷靜下來。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaDagrzv10
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LTsyVxy5u
「當時情況是鎮經發現到怡君，她褲子背後不巧吃到股溝，有很明顯的一條，很多人發現，但都不好意思跟她說，鎮經當時是請我們跟怡君說，但我們跟怡君也不熟，也不好意思開口，那時候……就挺難為情。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwbN8D6Mjtg
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhoHZOHkx3
我聽了大吃一驚，難道錯怪鎮經了！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLTKkSWxej
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPEj3UguY2a
怡君著急地說：「事情怎麼會是這樣？可是……即如此，鎮經你也不該碰直接我吧？為什麼不解釋清楚？你這樣做嚇到我了！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVtdzYoht5
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lN1mTwZBu
鎮經低下頭鞠躬道歉：「對不起，我真的很抱歉，沒想到會變成這樣，原本我只是想拉拉褲角暗示你一下，沒想到公車搖晃一下，手就正好碰到，我想既然碰都碰到，順便就幫一下。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzi2KmAL3h
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1e1692Nrh
怡君又羞又急：「你在雞婆什麼？這到底有什麼好幫？你直接跟我說就好，這有什麼好尷尬的。你這樣做有比較好嗎？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkProLHQ3Bp
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCrrXSbOC6
鎮經臉色發紅，低下頭，怯怯地說：「真的很抱歉。我不是故意的。對不起！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgUEDbvqXW
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aFJB65wac
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hFoABFCEK
此時我尷尬到無地自容，枉費我用激將法激忠豪出頭，結果現在上演這齣鬧劇，我忍不住笑了出來。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHCE6HWXew
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHw4td8KnW
「哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！這在開什麼玩笑啊！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaImLV9EL0N
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiBfkvkjrj
「阿飛，這一點也不好笑，你們未審先判，即使鎮經的行為有錯，也應該經過調查，由法律來審理，而不是動用私刑暴力，這不是真正的正義。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Cckmybegu
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYug5Z7c0wq
忠豪抓著鎮經說：「既然你有苦衷，為什麼剛剛你不講，害我錯打了你。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnH5hWQ7htz
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpQ2MnNHUx
「我……我……我有說啊！可是你沒聽我說完，拳頭就過來，我怎麼跟你解釋。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHhvksZI4V
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rFywR70gd
忠豪深深嘆口氣：「唉啊！早知道……我該怎麼補償你啊！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOQ2d7lKeb
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59hvokF8Sm
「補償的事，等你們雙方家長來了再談。忠豪、阿飛、家真，你們三個，一個動用暴力，兩個唆使暴力，每人記大過一支，假日留校勞動滿12小時，才能銷過。」主任說完搖頭不已。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ85Ffya7cY
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXw4IVIaQJB
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSrEvFYf93
我們三人面目相覷，皆不敢相信結果會是這樣的局面。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGajkGePz8b
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRIqbx9QhX
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRXb32YUJc
當我們走出訓導處，回到班上，我刻意避開小婷，不敢跟她目光交會。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAy6KkpU8k
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwh2WcSoehY
智銘還沒弄清楚狀況，拍著我的肩膀便說：「嘿嘿！大英雄回來了！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnwOkhRISBZ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFsoxCI94Q
我沒心情理會他。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVntoHgL5T9
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5itfdnQvkc
小婷開口問道：「到底發生什麼事，你們四個人回來都變苦瓜臉。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJOB2jnNJb
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeyNN2wGb6
「我們好像誤會別人了，我以後怎麼見人……」怡君說完忍不住啜泣。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowmIIiLS3a
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ64TDxOBqhW
「蛤！到底怎麼回事？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjzY6l8iY8
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVMrmYK7cb
老師走到講台，緩緩地說：「呃……怡君的事情相信同學們都很關心，學校會重視這件事，已經聯絡雙方的家長來學校釐清狀況，但有部分同學未查明真相前，便擅自動用暴力，不管怎麼說，學校都不允許暴力行為的發生，這種事的後果影響惡劣，請不要再發生，你們的問題學校都會按照制度來處理，總而言之，別再給我惹事生非。現在！翻開英文考卷，我們昨天教到第十二題的文法，過去分詞放在這裡需要注意一些變化……基於已經完成無法改變的狀態，後面應該要接甚麼，有同學知道嗎？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyn4bJXkyX
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NLNIcooG6
班上一片死寂。我想除了老師，現在沒有人有心情在乎什麼混帳文法。台上老師的嘴巴像脫水的金魚，飛快地一張一闔，我完全聽不懂他在說什麼，於是昏昏沉沉睡著，之後叫醒我的是小婷。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLXdneynVD
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXuDvPSPJP
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaag8mDp3A
「阿飛你已經睡了一天，現在都放學了，你還要繼續睡嗎？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUCKUoL3hB
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwomxgg4AB
「怎麼過那麼快，我不是才睡一下。沒有老師叫我醒來？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vkvsE14b9
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepa2A1HOHk
「你在講桌旁，剛好是老師的視線死角，只要你不打鼾，老師不會發現。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMt0T3QdGXU
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZ0MJ8QGoM
「原來如此。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRDZoEX5wr
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz0XhqjhLfB
「你們真的跑去打鎮經？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7IkwHJcc4O
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLc3eehJWU
我難為情的低下頭：「是！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWghuYQsRk
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfaNqEhx1m
「我沒有要你這麼做，我只是要你幫怡君說話，你不必這樣……真的……你太誇張……我……我以後不敢請你幫忙。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyjgBoKy1y
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EA7LJIUC4
我一聽這句理智線瞬間斷掉。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76FO2zFu1w
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8b7Psc2GY
「不然你要我怎樣？你愛找誰去找誰，別來煩我啊！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdBmVmcpBL
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaOLOdIzKz
我拎著書包，頭也不回地消失在小婷眼前，我不敢回頭看小婷的表情，就當沒這她個人，反正我也沒心情多想其他的事。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YhX41mHVx
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkJ1yTnPJV
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfAljK0KrJ
一晃眼，時間很快來到了週六的清晨八點。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBnLyTfI8z
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjv9TcgSqM
原本該是睡到自然醒的週末，我和家真、忠豪卻只能臭著臉站在處室門口。我們領了乾癟的抹布和塑料水桶，在訓導主任的帶路下，穿過無人的校園，來到了學校附屬的幼稚園。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9R6rbDzhN2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUKABvxus7K
「你們今天先勞動四個小時，從八點到十二點。」主任面無表情地看了我們一眼，最後把目光停在忠豪身上：「然後，因為真正動手打人的是忠豪，今天離開前還得額外交一份悔過書給我。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHO99mpuV6i
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0TFSJJ3IO
主任交代完便轉身離去。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsFs1vXV5as
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXIshCg971
我們提著水桶進到教室，開始跪在木頭地板上擦地。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlXKJ4D1yU
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKARRyUeVW
當冰冷的濕抹布在木頭上推開時，一陣沙沙的摩擦聲響起，地板上混合著汗臭與尿騷味，實在不好聞。忽然，我毫無預警地聽見爸爸曾對我說過的那句話。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntuNL37I8L
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdFvF7N5Jv
『我只問有沒有，我不想聽你解釋。』64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxen1EBz5wz
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSyfPpy3E4
那句話對我的暴力，我竟然用在鎮經這個可憐的同學身上，當他被忠豪打的時候，我卻完全沒有想要聽他說話。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgBTMoCcMnk
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4V8fXQh5iz
我是真心為了要替怡君主持公道嗎？如果怡君不是小婷的朋友，我還會這麼做嗎？我該不會是個自私的混蛋，只想著要小婷崇拜我嗎？我不知道昨天到底在做什麼……只知道現在我正在洗地。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBWgEQBtKl
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa209zvBwdZ
忽然，傳來腳步聲，我抬頭一看。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuM3WJk6IC
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqiuVUoavT
怡君提這一袋東西走來。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOjvuEvo4i
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE31VT7DcJq
我問道：「怡君妳怎麼來了？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG34BnaJDzx
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUphx6WZprt
「我想請你們喝飲料，害你們要消過，心裡很過意不去。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKcc659Ef2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMjLjE3dfB
「太好了還有飲料。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGxGZG3r4qC
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVWvheUP5v
我們從袋子裡各自拿一杯珍珠奶茶來喝。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJbTsT3m3r
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjTozI6YZZ
沁涼甜蜜的珍珠入口，心中的負罪好像也少去大半重量。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gUUQBNVFn
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNYfPFjGZQT
冷不防，忠豪開口問道：「我們真的做錯了嗎？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnTobecAIRL
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1edovl1R0
我嘆口氣說：「別提了。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebZCmE1yrp
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhPoTwVOx1
「我只是想不通，整件事有夠扯。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4h14DM3H9f
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAWTqMTQd3O
「很扯啊！我不知道該說什麼。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB05Uy2tIsQ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvd3irXjlm7
我閃過一個念頭。「有沒有可能，鎮經那時心裡也在暗爽？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwY3Yx2YBua
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLPSM79zGH
「欸！不是沒這個可能。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2TqMsQexi
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7ysCjvamM
「對啊！誰知道他心裡有沒有這個念頭。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKIg1J19ec
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZaDTcOO6n
「不好說，不好說。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig49D1QQs9
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFXT1ZnRTb
「換作是你，你會這樣做嗎，像鎮經一樣幫忙？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAmv18cstp
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbBeal6VCG
「我不會，正常人都不會。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrR5Nvg6NF
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDExK7yajX
「我也不會。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtEr9DmBdh
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZw3GM2gwfw
「那他被打也是他活該。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4RS3u9f4l
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t0vkw83Pm
「呃………我不是很確定，但……我們錯了嗎？誰會知道他心裡在想什麼？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfDKfx1Q5g
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx83hlRV6Ol
「沒有人知道。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3baE3IL0FT
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK17fRbDWP7
「他說不定只是在合理化自己的行為。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCoVjOqqmH
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xbmDg86bj
「八成就是，我們真的很衰。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0asLjssdK
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAYLbdlcBg
「有夠倒楣。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jUCJEMj1y
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCIfEF9eMd
「媽的，主任還要我寫悔過書。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zWgiUDfnz
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9RxthfRll
「要怎麼掰？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFPt6drv5X
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgEhgcU1nS
「隨便啦！反正就寫主任想看的。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WrgLVy1W2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnVh8e1QrD
「阿飛你作文不是很厲害嗎？幫我寫一下。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4l9ZDtRgey
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yVXMtBV7i
「但我不會寫悔過書，更何況還是別人的。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UIDqqFMSo
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSJJw0fUt8
此時家真開口說：「我來幫你寫吧，晚點你自己照抄一遍。」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8zW64vabbk
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyzye2OpeS
家真拿出紙和筆，信手拈來：對不起，我不應該不分青紅皂白，胡亂動手打人，即使鎮經有不對的地方，身為一個文明人，應該跟他講道理，君子動口不動手，我知道錯了，造成鎮經身心的傷害，我感到十分抱歉，以後不會再犯這樣的錯誤，我一定會誠心改過，凡事都三思而後行，不再使用暴力，服從學校的規定，接受老師的教導，當個品性優良的好學生。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTE1TvwCSiJ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWFMPCQ61e
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDNyjM6IlE
忠豪接過家真寫的悔過書，看了一行，就把悔過書揉掉。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeS4HPfSXI
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1VtFLnEQK
「你寫什麼鬼啊！要我照抄，太噁心了，我做不到。要命啊！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVfz9VcfZw
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRaXeUwYc7
家真撿起揉掉的悔過書。「幹嘛那麼認真，先過主任這關再說吧！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaffxZjqGBa
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aYYLMSMdz
忠豪接過悔過書，大罵一聲幹，拿起筆照抄，邊寫變碎念：「對啊！先過這關再說，就當作不是我寫的，是被附身啊！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6waRRWdef
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8iuPldVoI
我大笑三聲，「哈哈哈！快點抄完，我還想快點吃午飯。」 ns216.73.217.21da2

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