大家最喜歡的作品 - 新人報到，多多支持，大帝說有好報

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本書會讓你笑。笑出來的皺紋是你的，噴出來的飯是你的，睡不著的夜是你的，腹肌也是你的。作者只負責逗你笑，其他一概不負責。

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137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aDpm2SAyh

如果你覺得這本書好笑，請不要急著離開。

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點個讚、留個言、收個藏、打個賞。

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你做的每一件好事，紫薇大帝都會親手記在他的功過簿上。一筆一劃，整整齊齊。

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「某某讀者，於某年某月某日，在此書笑出了聲，並主動點了讚，天庭予以表揚。」

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「某某讀者，打賞了皓添公主一碗燒鵝粉的錢，心意誠，福報+1。」

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你的名字會出現在「善行錄」那一欄。

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那一頁，你的功德值會往上跳一跳。

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城隍爺看到你會點頭，月老看到你會多牽一條線，財神爺看到你派錢——不是施捨的那種，是你到哪都撿錢、財運滾滾的那種。

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137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5FBAefpu2

反過來說。

137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqSI3mEfu5

如果你盜用這本書的內容，拿去拍短視頻、改編成短劇、複製貼上當成自己的作品、放在其他平台收錢、說「這是我寫的」然後臉不紅氣不喘——

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紫薇大帝也會記。功過簿上的「惡行錄」那一欄，會有你的名字。

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那一天，你的功德值會往下掉一大截。

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掉到城隍爺看到你搖頭，月老看到你繞路走，財神爺想給你發錢都不知道從哪裡開始發。

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天庭變形計：玉帝老爸要我去打工

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簡介

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你們人間開賓士寶馬是吧？

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我在天庭開天馬、飛馬、血馬，跑得快還會飛的那個。

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你們背「愛馬仕」是吧？我們真的「是愛馬」

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你們人間愛找問米婆、靈媒是吧？

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我們天庭有仙師，比你的能顯靈，但顯一半就失靈，跟我這個人一樣，關鍵時刻掉鏈子。

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我叫皓添。皓是皓月的皓，添是添加的添。連起來就是耗天，天天耗，耗死你。

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我耗誰？耗我爸。我爸叫昊天，是玉皇大帝。他可能是怕自己忘了名字，所以給我取名皓添。天天提醒他，你是誰？你是昊天，我是皓添，我專門來耗你的。

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當他昭告三界，冊封我當皓添公主掌實權那天，我還跟他約法三章：第一，我添的你得受著。第二，添完不准罵我。第三，我要是添得不夠，你提醒我，我再添一勺。他同意了。因為他是玉帝，他說不過我。

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事情是這樣的。我用他那顆觀天鏡看人間搞笑視頻，看到一個凡人往鄰居門縫裡塞臭魚，笑得我手滑，把他的寶貝球砸了，碎得跟餃子餡似的。

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我爸回來了。他站在門口，臉從白變紅，從紅變紫，從紫變黑。

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你找死嗎？

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我說，爹，你是不是忘了我是誰？我是神仙，我死不了。你咒我？是不是蟠桃吃多了暈桃了？

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他吼，「叫我玉帝！」

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行，玉帝。我是你親生的不？是。那我死了你心疼不？

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他的鬍子翹上天。他把我貶下凡打工還債。

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行，滾就滾。臨走前我把他金庫搬了一半，飛馬牽走三匹，血馬牽走兩匹。我還往他的瓊漿玉液裡倒了半瓶魔鬼辣椒油。

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137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgq4DUOZwyK

蟠桃會上，滿朝文武看著他喝。他憋得臉通紅，愣是沒敢噴出來。為什麼？因為他是玉帝，他要有威嚴。

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哈哈哈哈。讓你罵我。我叫皓添，我不耗你誰耗你？

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天官紫薇大帝親自押我下凡，面無表情掏出功過簿，說我欠三千萬功德。

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我看了看帳單，又看了看人間的寫字樓。那些凡人一個個低頭走路，臉色發黃，一看就是加班加多了。

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行吧，打工就打工。但你那個奶茶，我先來一杯。

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從今天起，我要用我這張嘴，怼遍天庭滿朝文武，怼遍人間大小老闆，怼到我爸親自來接我。

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你問我憑什麼？

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憑我叫皓添。耗死你，天天耗。耗到你受不了，耗到你認輸，耗到你親口說一句：女兒，我錯了，回家吧。

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皓添公主，添亂不添亂，你說了算。但我告訴你，這個亂，我添定了。137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxffVVtDhd0

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