《引路人》 - 第二十一回：夢境

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會面結束之後，琪琪一直好沉默。59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOSc29paNo

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佢唔係嬲，亦唔係喊，而係一種更深嘅空洞。阿軒陪喺佢身邊，兩個人行出警署，行出葵涌，一直行到海邊——唔係維港，而係葵涌嘅貨櫃碼頭。遠處嘅吊機一座一座，橙色嘅燈光喺夜色中閃爍，海浪拍打岸邊，一聲一聲。

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阿培冇跟得太貼。佢企喺後面幾步，望住呢兩個人。

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「琪琪。」阿軒終於開聲，「你仲嬲我？」

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琪琪搖頭。

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「你嬲自己？」

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琪琪冇答。

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「我都嬲自己。」阿軒講，「如果我嗰晚唔係咁衝動，唔係同你吵——」

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「吵交係兩個人嘅事。」琪琪打斷佢，「唔係你一個嘅錯。」

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「但你阿媽話——」

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「我阿媽唔知。」琪琪擰轉頭望住阿軒，眼紅紅，「佢唔知我哋之間發生咩事。佢只係見到個女死咗，需要搵一個人嚟怪。」

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「我阿媽都係。」阿軒苦笑，「佢怪你。」

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「我知。」

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兩個人都沉默。

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海浪繼續拍打岸邊。

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阿培行前一步，企喺佢哋旁邊。

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「你哋嘅屋企人，今晚可能會發夢。」阿培講。

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琪琪同阿軒同時望住佢。

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「發夢？」

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「我上司以前同我講過，」阿培講，「生人同死人之間，最接近嘅時候，除咗死嗰一刻，就係發夢。夢境係靈體最容易進入嘅地方。」

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「我哋可以進入佢哋嘅夢？」阿軒問。

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阿培搖頭：「唔係進入。係……你嘅思念，會飄過去。佢哋嘅思念，會飄過嚟。夢境係中間嗰塊地。」

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「即係佢哋會夢見我哋？」琪琪問。

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「有可能。」阿培講，「如果你哋放得低，佢哋會夢見你哋笑。如果你哋放唔低，佢哋會夢見你哋喊。」

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琪琪望住阿軒。

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「我想阿媽夢見我。」琪琪講，「我想同佢講，我好好，唔使擔心。」

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「你控制唔到夢境。」阿培講，「你只可以……放低。放低咗，佢哋就會夢見好嘅嘢。」

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琪琪沉默。

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放低。

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兩個字，好輕。但做起身，好重。

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當晚，琪琪阿媽發咗一個夢。

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佢夢見自己企喺廚房，煲緊湯。係琪琪最鍾意嘅紅蘿蔔粟米湯。佢好專心咁睇火，忽然聽到身後有人叫：「阿媽。」

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佢擰轉頭。

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琪琪企喺廚房門口，著住佢最鍾意嗰件黃色T恤，紮住馬尾，笑得好燦爛。

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「琪琪？」阿媽呆住，「你……你返嚟啦？」

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「我返嚟飲湯。」琪琪行入廚房，好似以前咁，揭開煲蓋，聞一聞，「好香。」

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阿媽想行過去，但對腳好似釘咗喺地下，郁唔到。

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「琪琪，你……你唔係——」

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「阿媽，我好好。」琪琪望住佢，笑容冇變，「你唔使擔心我。你要照顧好自己，唔好成日喊。」

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「但係你——」

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「你煲咗湯，我要飲啦。」琪琪蓋返煲蓋，然後退後一步，「我要走啦。」

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「唔好走！」阿媽想追，但對腳仲係郁唔到，「琪琪！你返嚟！」

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琪琪嘅身影開始變淡，好似一幅畫被水慢慢沖走。

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「阿媽，我愛你。」琪琪最後講，「你同細佬都要好好。」

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然後佢消失咗。

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阿媽醒咗。

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佢坐喺床上，全身冷汗，摸一摸塊面——濕嘅。佢喊緊。

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但唔係傷心嘅喊。

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係一種……好奇怪嘅感覺。好似個女真係返過嚟，真係同佢講過嘢。

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阿媽望住天花板，輕輕講咗一句：「琪琪，阿媽都愛你。」

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同一晚，阿軒阿媽都發咗一個夢。

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但佢嘅夢，唔同。

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佢夢見自己企喺一個好大嘅客廳，白色梳化，水晶燈，牆上掛住全家福。但全家福入面，阿軒嘅身影消失咗，剩低一個空白嘅輪廓。

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「阿軒？」佢叫。

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冇人應。

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佢行到阿軒細個間房，推開門。房入面嘅佈置停留喺阿軒十五歲嗰年——書桌上有課本，牆上貼住足球海報，床舖整整齊齊。

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但阿軒唔喺度。

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佢坐喺阿軒張床邊，摸住張床單，忽然覺得好凍。

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「阿軒，你返嚟啦。」佢輕輕講，「阿媽以後唔鬧你。你想做咩都得。你返嚟啦。」

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門外傳來腳步聲。

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佢擰轉頭。

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門口企住一個少年——十五歲嘅阿軒，著住校服，書包斜孭，笑得好燦爛。

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「阿媽，我返學啦。」少年阿軒講，「今晚返嚟食飯。」

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然後佢轉身，走咗。

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「阿軒！」阿媽追出去，但走廊越嚟越長，越嚟越暗，少年阿軒嘅身影越走越遠。

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「阿軒！你返嚟呀！」

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少年阿軒冇回頭。

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佢嘅身影消失喺黑暗之中。

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阿媽醒咗。

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佢坐喺床上，望住隔籬——阿軒阿爸仲瞓緊，呼吸平穩。佢冇叫醒老公，只係靜靜咁坐喺度，眼淚無聲咁流。

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佢記起嘅，唔係成年之後、成日同佢吵架嘅阿軒。

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而係十五歲、仲會笑住叫「阿媽」嘅阿軒。

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「阿軒，對唔住。」阿媽細細聲講，「阿媽唔知點樣愛你。」

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深夜。

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海邊。

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琪琪同阿軒仲坐喺岸邊，望住貨櫃碼頭嘅燈光。

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「我頭先……好似見到阿媽。」琪琪忽然講。

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「我都見到阿媽。」阿軒講，「但係好細個嘅我。」

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「你覺得係咪真係入咗佢哋嘅夢？」

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阿軒望住海，望咗好耐。

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「我希望係。」阿軒講，「就算佢哋醒咗之後唔記得，但至少嗰一刻……佢哋見到我。」

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琪琪點頭。

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「我同阿媽講咗，我愛佢。」琪琪講，「我生前成日唔好意思講。」

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「我有冇講過我愛你？」阿軒忽然問。

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琪琪望住佢。

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「冇。」琪琪講，「你成日話『我都係』、『我也是』，從來冇主動講過。」

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阿軒苦笑。

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「咁我而家講。」阿軒望住琪琪嘅眼，「琪琪，我愛你。」

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琪琪嘅眼淚流落嚟。

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「我都愛你。」琪琪講，「雖然你蠢蠢哋，窮到燶，成日換工，講爛gag唔好笑——」

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「喂。」

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「但我愛你。」琪琪笑住喊。

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兩個人企喺海邊，相隔三步，掂唔到對方。

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但佢哋嘅影子，喺月光下，重疊埋一齊。

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阿培企喺後面，望住佢哋。

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佢低頭望住令牌。

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第三十三、三十四個客戶。

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仲有三日。

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但佢覺得，呢兩個人，已經準備好過橋了。

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第二十一回完59Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYwDHdso9B

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