Bingung cara bayar utang
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Sepulang dari kampus, gue tidak langsung pulang.
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Gue mampir ke sebuah cafe tempat biasa gue dan teman2 gue nongkrong.disana gue bertemu dengan 2 teman bernama ardi dan aldo.
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Aldi “kusut amat tampang loe ken?”
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Aldo “iya….udh kayak bapak anak 5 loe”
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Gue duduk lesu lemas lunglai disamping mereka berdua
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Gue “Hmm……gue lagi pusinggg nihh. ”
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Aldi “pusing kenapa loe?”
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Aldo “ya elah….ngopi dulu deh.”
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Gue “boleh juga. ”
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Aldo “bang kopi satu lagi. ”
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Aldo memesan kopi buat gue kepada pelayan kafe.
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Aldi “Cerita lah…loe kenapa?”
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Gue “Biasa….kemarin gue kalah lagi. ”
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Aldi “kalah apaan. ”
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Aldo “ngeslot….apalagi dia mah. ”
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Aldi “Makanya loe jangan main2 judi terus. Mana ada orang kaya karena judi.”
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Gue “ya abis gimana, udah terlanjur kecanduan gue! Udh 200 juta utang gue sama si angga. Nyicil pake apaan yak.”
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Aldi “gila…gilaaa……200 juta buset. banyak amat utang loe”
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Aldo “ si angga mana sih?. ”
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Gue “itu si angga junior kita di SMA dulu!”
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Aldo “Ohh…yang bapaknya milyader itu kan.”
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Aldi “iya……yang semangatnya pas belajar sama nyokap lu doang ken. Gue juga. Haha…”
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Aldo “Lo bukan semangat belajarnya tapi semangat karena nyokap kendra yang cantik dan body goal itu kan di?”
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Aldi “Emangmya loe enggak!”
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Gue “Anjingg loe pada!!!! Gue lagi pusing malah ngomongin nyokap gue!.”
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Bentak gue pada mereka.
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Aldo “tau…si aldi.
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Aldi “lah…kok gua!”
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Gue “loe pada ada megang duit dulu nggak?. ”
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Mereka saling bertatapan.
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” kita mana ada ken!”Jawab mereka
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Gue “Aduh….gimana caranya gue nyicil utang. ”
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Aldo “Minta aja ama nyokap loe, secara kan bokap loe pelaut pasti nyokap loe dikasih uang banyak sama bokap loe. Ya nggak di?”
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Aldi “iya bener….punya ortu kaya malah pusingin duit. ”
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Gue “yeee……..loe ngk tau aja….kalau nyokap gue perhitungan banget. ”
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Aldo “Hmm….bentar gue mikir dulu. ”
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Aldo kemudian membakar rokoknya sembari memikirkan sesuatu. Sementara aldi juga seprti mencari ide buat gue.
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Tiba2 aldo menggebrak meja yang sontak membuat kami terkaget
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Aldi “loe kalau ngeplak meja kira2 donk anjing. ”
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Aldo “Begini ken… tapi loe janji dulu jangan marah yak. ”
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Gue “Emang napa gue mesti marah. ”
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Aldo “Tapi loe janji dulu deh!!! Ini demi bebasin utang loe! Cuman ini baru ide gue yakk. ”
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Gue “Ok gue janji!! Buruan gimana caranya. ”
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Aldo “Gue bakal ngasih tau lo rahasia si angga. ”
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Gue “Rahasia apaan. ”
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Aldo “Jadi si angga itu dari dulu terobsesi sama nyokap lo ken. Jadi katanya waktu itu kalau nyokap lo itu dijadiin bacolnya dia tiap hari.”
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Aldi “yeee…kalau itu satu sekolahan kali dong. Hehe. ”
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Gue “anjingg lo…..maksud loe apaan. ”
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Aldo “Tenang!!! Jangan marah dulu. Maksud gue kalau dia nagih cicilan lu bilang aja ganti sama yang lain bukan dengan uang gitu. ”
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Gue “maksudnya? Gue belom ngerti. ”
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Aldo “maksud gue itu…loe janjiin aja akan ngasih bacol buat dia sampai hutang2 lo lunas.”
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Gue “maksud lo gue spil tubuh nyokap gue ke si angga bangsat itu??? Ya kali taik!. ”
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Aldo “ya ngk gitu sih maksud gue. Maksud gue loe janjiin aja tiap kali dia nagih….jadi kan loe bisa napas dulu. ”
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Ditengah percakapan bunyi wa masuk dari angga yang menanyakan kapan gue akan mulai nyicil utang
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Gue “Gawat!!! Angga nagih utangnya sekarang. ”
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Tak lama, hp gue berdering yang jelas saja dari angga.
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Angga “halo…..kutu kuprettt giliran mau bayar lama amat lu angkat telpon gua.”
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Gue “ ehhhh….itu…gue lagi di toilet nihhhh sakit perut. ”
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Angga: alasen doang lu….. jadi kapan lo mau nyicil utang loe
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Gue “ya sabar kali…..gue boleh nambah nggak. ”
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Angga “lunasin dulu baru bisa kampret!.”
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Gue “Jadi gini ga….terus terang gue belom bisa bayar sekarang. ”
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Angga “Terus kapan mau loe bayar!!! Loe jangan main2 deh…..atau mau gue tagih ke nyokap loe langsung. ”
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Gue “Ehhhh…..jangan gitu lah ga. Nyokap gue nggak tau apa-apa. ”
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Angga “Gue nggak mau tau. Cicilan pertama loe harus bayar 20 juta besok. Kalau loe nggak bayar gue tagih ke bu ririn yang cantik dan bahenol itu. Haha.”
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Angga langsung mematikan telpon itu.
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Gue “Taik……..si kampret ngancem kalau gue nggak nyicil dia mau tagih ke nyokap gue. Bisa mampus gue. ”
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Aldi “kalau menurut gue cuma cara aldo itu satu2nya yang bisa menyelamatkan loe ken. ”
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Gue “kalau si angga nanti tau gue cuma janji2 palsu aja gimana donk. ”
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Aldo “Naah itu baru masalah!!!! Ya loe spil aja dikit tapi jangan terlalu vulgar….abis tu minta satu spil setara 20 juta gitu ken. Gimana?”
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Masuk akal juga ide si aldo ini. kata gue dalam hati
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Gue “Hmm….apa boleh buat. Gue coba dulu daripada dia nagih ke nyokap gue. Bisa mampus gue. Makasih ya do…”
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Aldo “makanya kalau mau kaya kerja jangan judi begokk. ”
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Gue “ babi loe.. Namanya juga ketagihan. ”
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Aldi “dari pada ngeslot mending loe ajak kita main ke rumah lo ken. Loe kan baru dibeliin ps5 kan kemaren ini?”
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Aldo “itu pinter loe di.”
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Gue “jangan sekarang deh…nyokap gue lagi di rumah!. ”
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Aldi “ya bagus donk….sekalian kita silaturahmi juga sama nyokap loe. Secara udah lama juga nggak ketemu. Itung2 reuni guru sama muridnya. Bener nggak do?”
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Aldo “bener bangett……btw gimana kabar nyokap loe di? Pasti makin cantik kan bu ririn gue. hehe.”
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Gue “taik loe……reuni2 ndasmu…..yang ada di otak loe pada mesum anjing. ”
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Aldo: yeee…sotoy aja lu sama temen
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Aldi “nggak baik loh ken suuzon sama kita. Atau loe takut kalah main fifa yak. ”
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Gue “apaan!! Gue mana pernah kalah sama kalian. ”
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Aldo “nah buktiin donk kalau lo beneran jago!”
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Gue “nggak ahhh, menangpun ngk ada taruhannya nggak asik.”
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Aldi “terus lo pengennya taruhan apa?”
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Gue “sekali kalah 500rb gimana?”
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Aldo “dasar emang otak loe judi terus y ken. ”
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Gue “ya udah kalau nggak mau.”
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Aldo dan aldi menyetujui taruhan tersebut dan akhirnya kami memutuskan untuk kerumah gue.
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(Kelanjutannya ada di lik bawah ini
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and then Add to home screen.