附錄六 陸游之專訪「神」45Please respect copyright.PENANA4XEv8KzF0w
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詩人陸游之,
自從情場失意吐血三升後,昏迷38分49秒。自還魂後,再世為人。時而瘋癲,時而正常,時而瀟灑,時而…. 是的,他聰明絕頂。在那昏迷時的夢中,重創詩意,再詩意重創,在那彷彿朦朧的心中,重新創造屬於自己的詩意。事後偷偷自創「神意門」,捨其骨,取其意,不再被五言七言,平仄押韻框架所困,自此海闊天空,孤家寡人,一門就一個人,天有多高,心就有多高。45Please respect copyright.PENANAnW7WaHekBw
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就是愛怎麼亂用,就怎麼亂用的意思。45Please respect copyright.PENANAzCg6jWfpI6
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———45Please respect copyright.PENANAf36MYzP49b
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「X 頻道,」一如既往,是一個我們與AI相互交流的熱門討論節目。45Please respect copyright.PENANAEHv51mTqUI
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我是你們的節目主持人,陸游之。45Please respect copyright.PENANAvCNHvFvaoU
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唉,沒辦法,我「陸杜甫」詩聖的面子太大了,為各位觀眾邀請了兩位全國最受歡迎的,神一般的,大人物。45Please respect copyright.PENANAXxKk8pbqJh
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是是是,我感受到你們現場的掌聲太過熱烈,話不多說,讓我陸杜甫先迎客一句:45Please respect copyright.PENANAgFDGHYT0sP
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「花徑不曾緣客掃,蓬門今始為君開。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAJ2cbZLvGXX
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讓我們歡迎躺平冠軍石泊,躺平亞軍安生!45Please respect copyright.PENANACd16N8UqIP
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X 頻道的現場觀眾們歡聲雷動,眼淚與鼻涕齊流。45Please respect copyright.PENANArX7hpdx1ti
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他們心裏想,「這首詩的確把「歡迎」寫得極有畫面感:「種滿花草的小路,我從來沒為了客人打掃過,但今天為了你,我打掃了;那扇簡陋的柴門,平日緊閉,今天第一次為你打開。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA5m1x7vbLY7
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X 頻道的彈幕A觀眾,「這位怪咖,命怎麼這麼好?居然能邀請到我的偶像?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAr5qI6yipYH
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X 頻道的彈幕B觀眾,「妖孽加上神,我喜歡 ! 」45Please respect copyright.PENANAr0sEcA3c96
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X 頻道的彈幕C觀眾,「期待 ! 期待 ! 愛你們呦!」45Please respect copyright.PENANAg334Fdp5u8
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安生客氣的回:45Please respect copyright.PENANABvOFTmtYaw
「山重水復疑無路,柳暗花明又一村。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA7zjtPFFSIr
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陸游之一愣,他竟然用「陸游」的詩來回我?45Please respect copyright.PENANA0RgJeUOwTK
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心中暗道,這話雖意指他們終於在茫茫人海中,受到了我這光明一村的招待,這前一句未提及的「莫笑農家臘酒渾,豐年留客足雞豚」,
嗯,有問題。45Please respect copyright.PENANA5WYoVSAlI6
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那是村民在豐收年節裡,如何熱情地歡迎客人。但「笑農家釀的臘酒渾濁不清」?如同「影射我詩詞亂用」?45Please respect copyright.PENANAXdZ1J9TQDA
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好小子,有慧根!「我喜歡。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAdHTMCiWgnM
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安生一說話,現場觀眾馬上安靜了下來,加上陸游之竟然停頓了片刻,大家不禁想,剛剛「安生大人」說了句治理名言,雖然是天上掉下來的,但妖孽怎麼不說話了咧?
這這這片刻的寧靜,我都不知道該想什麼好。唉唷,這麼重要的現場畫面,好想胡思亂想。45Please respect copyright.PENANAYaCMsyu3dW
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以前亂罵亂罵得多爽快啊。45Please respect copyright.PENANAsi30o8LFuS
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陸游之在一秒內回神,嘴角一笑,「讓我用全國頂級禮遇歡迎你。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAzxoCzXyJms
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我陸曹操,霸氣再迎,「幼幼鹿鳴,十年之拼。我有嘉賓,鼓瑟吹笙。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAWovjZQqNbQ
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安生心道,「明明是呦呦,改成幼幼鹿鳴,食野之蘋也改成十年之拼。」45Please respect copyright.PENANASq6UKOmMdl
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亂改之後是說,我們兩隻小鹿拼了十年,才能來到這裡做你的嘉賓?吃我們豆腐?45Please respect copyright.PENANALbnW6GlzV7
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安生雙手一拱,笑笑用同一首詩,45Please respect copyright.PENANAJBJ9ZbwlGe
「山不厭高,海不厭深。陸公吐哺,天下歸心。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA0rf4EcdQ1l
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言下意指,大爺你胸懷寬廣,我們也是你的粉絲,我們服了,不要再跟我們鬧了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAN0TZJtgBDo
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「爽!」45Please respect copyright.PENANAyNObCZMvc9
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陸游之非常滿意的捋一捋他那不存在的鬍子,也不知道是不是戲癮犯了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAxMSiwByvb1
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安生這小子可傳我衣缽,成為神意門下一代掌門,但他老爸似乎入道,不知道入的是什麼道?搶不搶得過?陸游之小心思開始砰砰亂跳。45Please respect copyright.PENANAgK8aJBzd4n
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石泊在旁邊一副沒有他的事,微笑的,乖乖地坐在旁邊,面對這二人交鋒。純純的第三者,忘了他才是冠軍。45Please respect copyright.PENANAWaJsTpXmDv
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安生在旁邊悄悄地對石泊好心提醒,這老頭瘋瘋癲癲的,但是絕不簡單,似乎心眼有點小,小心他搞你。45Please respect copyright.PENANABGDw1o00WO
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石泊電話忽然響起,秀出他媽(媽)的電話號碼。石泊拿起電話就接。直接跟他媽(媽)聊起天來了,完全不理會現場的主持人和觀眾。45Please respect copyright.PENANANpBNY3lEJI
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「現場直播吔。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAhypCQ5Uuzi
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導播腦海裡直接三條黑線,我當初一定是瘋了,才會決定直播。45Please respect copyright.PENANARa7jS95ZrS
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轉念一想,石泊大神在現場打電話的鏡頭,實在是太帥了,全國第一人!收視率穩了。我這是不是要升官發財了?45Please respect copyright.PENANAC35kor7a2r
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現場的觀眾也覺得理所當然,面對偶像,是神一般的存在,他愛怎麼樣就怎麼樣。45Please respect copyright.PENANAdhOEIYAZbD
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陸游之更無所謂,反正安生已經吸引了他絕大部分的注意力。45Please respect copyright.PENANAio18gGWVlG
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安生坐在旁邊看著石泊講電話,偶爾插上一兩句話,例如「伯母好」,也沒覺得什麼不對。45Please respect copyright.PENANAlkSJrSKjIs
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這畫面太不對了,怎麼都沒有人這麼覺得呢?45Please respect copyright.PENANAdLIlRehtG5
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陸游之不小心找到繼承人,越看安生越喜歡,心情大好,對著觀眾說,你們現場觀眾太幸福了,我現在想送兩位貴賓,還有各位喜歡支持我陸杜甫的在線所有聽眾,名詩一首,45Please respect copyright.PENANAbQAVZei97v
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不管不顧的開始吟道,45Please respect copyright.PENANAIChwoPDGaI
「劍外忽傳收薊北,初聞涕淚滿衣裳。45Please respect copyright.PENANA7AaRsOWafE
卻看妻子愁何在,漫卷詩書喜欲狂。45Please respect copyright.PENANAJd5OvuQxIR
白日放歌須縱酒,青春作伴好還鄉。」45Please respect copyright.PENANANHVr4eWQLP
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這是杜甫最壯闊的《聞官軍收河南河北》45Please respect copyright.PENANAgTdExfMBd3
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我和杜甫一生憂國憂民,這是他唯一一首純粹喜悅的詩,被稱為「生平第一快詩」。
他在安史之亂結束,我在滅國之災結束,兩個人一起高興到手舞足蹈、喜極而泣。
杜甫在壓抑多年之後,我在找到後繼有人之後,釋放岀來的狂喜,吟起來非常真實,
非常「爽」。45Please respect copyright.PENANAeWBe4UUnDM
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我真是一個愛國大好人。安生應該會更喜歡我吧?45Please respect copyright.PENANAQXYu0Tp5WQ
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高興之餘,喵了他們兩個人一眼,不過他們兩個人怎麼總是搞在一起呀?石泊會不會妨礙他啊?45Please respect copyright.PENANA6uI0nkexTI
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陸游之掌門人心中有點吃味,想到石泊剛剛進攝影棚時有點遲到。
(石泊實在太興奮了,雙眼放光,對攝影棚裡面所有的攝影器材,佈景道具,燈光音控,左摸摸右摸摸,全部都有興趣,恨不得把攝影棚買下來)。45Please respect copyright.PENANAkD64ZL5w1g
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游之老大爺此時想要借機刁難一下晚輩遲到,帶著滿臉不懷好意的笑容,對著石泊剛說了一個「溥」字…45Please respect copyright.PENANAQWxQH5ejFk
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石泊和他媽(媽)的電話中問石泊,晚上要不要在樓下的同慶樓吃飯?45Please respect copyright.PENANAO3VVtwiFfQ
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石泊說,「同慶樓?」他發現自己講電話的聲音有點大,最後一個字就有點弱弱的變小聲。他是很懂禮貌的。45Please respect copyright.PENANA9bPjwRc4uD
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陸游之心中警鈴大響,嘴巴開開,閉不起來,他怎麼知道我要說「溥天同慶?」45Please respect copyright.PENANARZ4PV5IpKl
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這「普天同慶」雖是大家慶祝的意思,45Please respect copyright.PENANAPUHwcizDSd
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但他不可能知道啊?我才說了一個「溥」字,他連什麼這個譜那個譜都不知道,怎麼會拿「同慶」來回我呢?45Please respect copyright.PENANAEiZk9ivGpl
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他的潛台詞藏的極深。這「普天同慶」不是出自詩詞,而是出自史書和散文。最早的出處是《三國志·魏書·郭淮傳》,原文寫的是「溥天同慶」——魏文帝登基,責問郭淮為何遲到,說「今溥天同慶而卿最留遲,何也?」45Please respect copyright.PENANASYG0VdIZHa
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石泊一句淡淡的,完全看都沒看他的回答,直接破了他這,小小的,壞心思。45Please respect copyright.PENANAKkP7bhG16d
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這兩個小子不簡單,尤其是這個,他是會讀心術嗎?猜也不是這麼亂猜啊,一個字就把我頂回來?陸游之背後冷汗直冒。45Please respect copyright.PENANAkqPHyKgXVz
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「這怎麼可能?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAdR1qqA3WIO
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陸游之忍不住想要挑戰石泊,那股子較勁的氣魄,霎那間在現場揚起了一陣,讓人感受不到的,也看不見的,狂風。45Please respect copyright.PENANA6jkVN1pgr9
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在他的小心思中,45Please respect copyright.PENANAnMOk2OuF3o
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那就讓我用 《劍客》,把賈島「挑戰」之神作,
「十年磨一劍,霜刃未曾試。今日把示君,誰有不平事?」拿出來會一會你吧。45Please respect copyright.PENANAv8jIVJF3oe
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這首「挑戰」之作。磨了十年的劍,誰有冤屈,誰有不平,來!氣魄非常大,和賈島平時清冷孤寂的風格完全不同,反而有一股壓抑已久的爆發感。45Please respect copyright.PENANAhcSbO7XBL6
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陸游之想著想著,依然活在自己的世界裡,完全不理會石泊在講電話。45Please respect copyright.PENANATNFQ7wVAZb
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來不及自報名號,「陸賈島」抬頭才開口,說了「十年…」 兩個字,45Please respect copyright.PENANAFYv0MGqCpU
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就聽到石泊說,「敲」定了。45Please respect copyright.PENANAgasjiztXrG
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陸游之完全不知道,石泊是回他媽(媽)的問題,是不是要敲定討論了半天的餐廳。45Please respect copyright.PENANAIXWgLp5MDw
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陸游之眼睛瞪得比銅鈴還大,只覺得背脊再一陣發麻,涼風吹過,冷的雞皮疙瘩拔地而起。45Please respect copyright.PENANAUGg6QADRrL
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他他他,他這是暗指韓愈幫賈島完成了千古名句?那首45Please respect copyright.PENANAThjLCDM7gc
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《題李凝幽居》的「鳥宿池邊樹,僧敲月下門」?45Please respect copyright.PENANADSfSa5noi7
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想那賈島在街上騎驢想詩想破頭,到底應該是「僧敲月下門」還是「僧推月下門」,的時候,不小心衝撞了韓愈的轎子。韓愈脾氣老好人,也沒有發火,反而停下來幫著賈島一起想,最後決定說,「敲」字好。45Please respect copyright.PENANAejsHvF8Ovz
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這個「推敲」的故事,就這麼美美的流傳至今。45Please respect copyright.PENANAX4oe7rOzlu
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陸游之,我才說兩個字,「十年」。這兩個字可以代表太多的意思了。光是這躺平比賽就是「十年」。45Please respect copyright.PENANAUBZQCCHI68
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他怎麼可能知道我要挑戰他?45Please respect copyright.PENANAg8zTIKH7rR
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又怎麼會聯想到賈島?45Please respect copyright.PENANA5fFTiYEki5
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又怎麼會這麼剛剛好的說出「敲」那個字?45Please respect copyright.PENANAEuvqj77kHm
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幾番驚嚇45Please respect copyright.PENANADeKvRdvkcu
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在那麼多,又又又,的問題後,45Please respect copyright.PENANAkkFIV3BqU4
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陸游之,「人」的意志開始崩潰,忍不住,往那… 方面想,
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「神,嗎?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAH7Q9W3Otjv
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胸中豪氣頓生,真要讓我訪問「神」?45Please respect copyright.PENANA4T4M8QmwTy
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那那,那當然要拿出屈原的「天問」。
這連續一百七十多問的心靈拷問,從天地宇宙起源,問日月星辰,問神明與神明,問歷史與命運,問到他尿都要嚇出來,內心中開始哈哈大笑。45Please respect copyright.PENANAmw3jW6PPJB
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也不管石泊是不是還在講電話,心隨意念(唸)起來,45Please respect copyright.PENANAoBe3K7qcqQ
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「曰:遂古之初,誰傳道之?上下未形,何考之?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAtSseOSbTWM
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他媽(媽)在電話那頭問餐廳要訂幾月幾號?45Please respect copyright.PENANAFVVgcy5rW8
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石泊回:「十一月四號」。45Please respect copyright.PENANALoYxJtm3U2
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陸游之聽不到電話那頭他媽(媽)的問題,可他確實聽到了「十一月四號」。45Please respect copyright.PENANAXWQrNFoyC7
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那天是我的生日!為什麼我問「天」,「天」卻回我我的生日?為什麼?為什麼?45Please respect copyright.PENANA7rmaUYpfZE
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天是回問我自己嗎?45Please respect copyright.PENANAkcTd5O3rYs
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問我為什麼死不承認…45Please respect copyright.PENANA2dbMFfK2SO
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他就是45Please respect copyright.PENANA9qDdL6aYv4
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「神?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAYKK6Y1MGQW
45Please respect copyright.PENANAG2DylorGZS
他本來就是聰明絕頂又想太多的人,最後一道防線,終於瓦解。45Please respect copyright.PENANAq3eJFnbmdc
45Please respect copyright.PENANAM1zOH5Pm9I
看到石泊一邊捂著手機,一邊對著自己微笑,陸游之突然覺得自己如沐春風。45Please respect copyright.PENANAhCOjaGmY2u
45Please respect copyright.PENANAdA6IBvyuHX
不再堅持,放下後的感覺真好。45Please respect copyright.PENANAAtNka7LgQp
45Please respect copyright.PENANAa8ZmjrZJkU
啊~ 他存在在我們之間。45Please respect copyright.PENANAJW3b48hGKD
45Please respect copyright.PENANAdr8jmAtXqx
無須多言45Please respect copyright.PENANAkAoX2tmSCM
45Please respect copyright.PENANAFRo5tGLCE2
就這麼45Please respect copyright.PENANAxJdYXx2jLB
45Please respect copyright.PENANAbfBUUUE84T
接受吧…..45Please respect copyright.PENANAi9yIaTCGdo
45Please respect copyright.PENANAfqbHGbk9dt
三人相視而笑。45Please respect copyright.PENANAwGpyT1UCb7
45Please respect copyright.PENANAwELzpQxTR0
觀眾也在笑,雖然不知道在奸笑什麼,但是就是想跟著笑。45Please respect copyright.PENANAjtpB37M6H7
45Please respect copyright.PENANAryTVnJmOAf
陸游之拱手說,「我要隨你而去。」45Please respect copyright.PENANA5QeIEf5VWc
45Please respect copyright.PENANAJygW05HtU9
石泊一愣:「你也要來?」45Please respect copyright.PENANAtWlBkGBOl4
45Please respect copyright.PENANAo8JxI6brjt
陸游之一副你的榮幸就是我的榮幸,「當然。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAWazHMF06SB
45Please respect copyright.PENANA5uJUGDiwqy
隨後石泊好奇的表情冰雪融化,春風一揚,45Please respect copyright.PENANA8esi6mvwpi
45Please respect copyright.PENANA8htkpKQhJz
45Please respect copyright.PENANAcI0NjGk4im
「歡迎。」45Please respect copyright.PENANAcW6loH14Ue
45Please respect copyright.PENANAGb2MZhMUS3
45Please respect copyright.PENANAmr5Z5tGLN4
45Please respect copyright.PENANAB0VuahbMnW
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