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茶水間日記第四期 - 【05/01 Day31】橘柚日常——誰是病嬌攻？ | Penana
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茶水間日記第四期
ENTRY #1186
Author: 橘柚
Published:
May 1, 2026
茶水間日記第四期
Published:
May 1, 2026
ENTRY #1186
【05/01 Day31】橘柚日常——誰是病嬌攻？
Author: 橘柚
Published:
May 1, 2026
1 Min Read
341 Words
No Plagiarism!VEbTWhculO3VqEHsPPr7posted on PＥNAＮＡ

2026/05/01（五）

今天依舊努力在修稿。

開始修回憶那章，原本版本其實沒什麼大問題，但就比較像，我在說故事，沒有我帶讀者走入故事的感覺。

因為是顧行之的回憶，就不能有云宿的心情，也不用寫云宿的背景，這樣等於把底牌都攤開。

所以我就改成單一視角，讓顧行之去感受，讓讀者跟著顧行之去感受他與云宿的初見。

修好給友人看，

友人：進步了！抓住了視角的純粹性，情感更聚焦。有北疆來的野孩子撞上深宮精緻瓷娃娃的衝擊性。而且還加上了感官細節鋪陳，顯得更美、更真實。

於是我呵呵呵的傳給另一個友人看，

另一位友人：顧行之的病嬌攻潛質在童年回憶中幾乎沒表現，顯得太單純可愛。

橘：你再說一次？誰是病嬌攻？

另一位友人：顧行之。

橘：啊啊啊！你給我待在你家，我現在馬上衝去你家打你！你是有沒有認真看！誰！誰是病嬌，而且他不是攻！啊啊啊啊！

然後被文總拉住。

文總：他本來就很愛亂說話，他根本就沒看！

橘：氣死我了！啊啊啊！

封鎖！馬上封鎖！

79Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfPkG2K2Gt

79Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94Wevpyaam

79Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUZCFIjdwec

216.73.216.86

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