2027 年 7 月 18 日,星期日。52Please respect copyright.PENANAh5tWJL8EU9
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如果說星期六是為了修補靈魂,那麼星期日就是為了燃燒生命——在自己選擇的戰場上。對於已經實施了「資產託管」(孩子們仍在爺爺嫲嫲家享受被寵溺的時光)的阿初和阿敏來說,今天下午兩點至七點,是神聖不可侵犯的「自由時區」。52Please respect copyright.PENANAAP7tir9VTY
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……52Please respect copyright.PENANAciC00vryTY
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戰場一:北角丹拿花園.客廳52Please respect copyright.PENANAAYAE77bXc9
任務目標:活動限定.煌黑龍52Please respect copyright.PENANAl1KHSSv143
狀態:Hi-Fi 全開.聽覺釋放52Please respect copyright.PENANATZDQbAdkd0
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客廳的窗簾緊閉,營造出一種與世隔絕的昏暗感。茶几上放著兩罐無糖可樂(中年人的最後倔強)和一包熱浪。阿初沒有戴耳機。平日家裡有皇太后,有要做功課的軒仔,有要睡覺的阿斗,他打機只能像做賊一樣。但今天,他是這間屋的主人。他啟動了那套封塵已久的喇叭,音量旋鈕轉到了一個平日絕對不敢觸碰的刻度。52Please respect copyright.PENANAPBHorGep6i
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五月天的《兄弟》前奏,伴隨著深沉的貝斯聲,在鑽石廳內轟然炸響。空氣中的灰塵彷彿都在跟著節奏跳動。52Please respect copyright.PENANAdlgtEPva8J
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(酒精或節奏 我們搖搖晃晃 那又會怎樣 跌倒你在身旁) (在身旁打每一場 泥濘爛仗 你和我 唔噢噢噢 就是這樣)52Please respect copyright.PENANAKJxf1iowRT
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「師兄,呢場唔可以輸。」喇叭裡傳來大雄的聲音,混合著背景音樂,聽起來格外滄桑,「晴晴去咗沈姐那裡,我難得得閒。阿強……阿強生前套畢業裝,就差呢隻煌黑龍天統角。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAedv5990idw
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大雄的聲音有點啞。經歷了被靜儀派帽、離婚、爭奪撫養權,這個曾經的陽光 IT 男現在只有在兄弟面前,才會流露出一絲軟弱。雖然在沈姐天台找回了「腰骨」,但心裡的累,需要這場戰鬥來宣洩。52Please respect copyright.PENANAYLPRuAwyfE
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「放心。」阿初盤膝坐在地毯上,手裡握著 PS5 手掣,感受著喇叭傳來的低頻震動,「阿強嗰份保險單已經賠咗俾佢屋企人,但遊戲裡面嘅遺憾,我哋幫佢補完。」52Please respect copyright.PENANACY7FCeCJoC
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阿強,那個為了跑單賣保險,最終過勞死的中學同學。他生前最後一個願望,就是和兄弟們把這隻龍刷成「素材」。52Please respect copyright.PENANAI3HjlMcHSa
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「喂,你哋兩個煽情完未?」另一把冷靜得近乎冷血的聲音插入,是談道德。阿初平日在公司叫他總經理,但私底下,這位比他大幾歲的死黨是他的「大佬」,「根據我哋風險評估,我哋依家最大嘅危機唔係條龍,而係我哋唔記得落密碼。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAeAWwOxr93k
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話音未落,系統提示彈出:「玩家 DragonSlayer2010 已加入任務」。52Please respect copyright.PENANAQMZCy0jcYG
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「頂!」大雄大叫,「路人亂入?仲係個用雙刀嘅?」52Please respect copyright.PENANA9jBzj0dEZS
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「既來之,則安之。」阿初深吸一口氣,手指在手掣上輕輕跳動,「大佬,你用輕弩打輔助,睇住嗰個路人。大雄,你負責頭;我負責斷尾。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAPdskMHn3nr
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戰鬥開始。煌黑龍咆哮著,火、冰、龍三種屬性在 4K 電視上瘋狂切換。那對 B&W 喇叭完美還原了魔物的嘶吼,震撼著阿初的耳膜。然而,災難來得比預想中更快。那個叫 "DragonSlayer2010" 的路人,顯然是個只懂亂舞的莽夫。煌黑龍一個「審判」蓄力,他竟然還在修腳⋯⋯52Please respect copyright.PENANAYnCYg1SlVf
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「隊友 DragonSlayer2010 已力盡倒下(1/3)」 「第一次。」談道德冷靜地報數,「呢條友嘅防禦力低於平均值 30%。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAmianRn8Wfu
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兩分鐘後,煌黑龍一個甩尾。「隊友 DragonSlayer2010 已力盡倒下(2/3)」52Please respect copyright.PENANA5lZl03MkVD
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「屌!」大雄忍不住爆了句粗,「兩貓!再死一次就任務失敗!呢隻小學雞搞撚嘢呀!阿強在天之靈都會俾佢激死!」52Please respect copyright.PENANAB8M5OK9l0c
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氣氛瞬間凝固。三貓失敗,現在只剩最後一條命。這意味著,誰都不能失誤。52Please respect copyright.PENANAD0ssGirilv
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(留級和失戀 誰也都曾重傷 傷癒後變成 你我今日徽章) (你總強迫我堅強 像控制狂 想起來 唔噢噢噢 有點誇張)52Please respect copyright.PENANAkyhbdaj8dH
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音樂到了副歌。阿初的眼神變了。他不再只是在玩遊戲。他想起了阿強在酒桌上的笑臉,想起了大雄離婚時在海邊的痛哭,想起了大佬談道德在辦公室頂撞大老闆的樣子。這是兄弟的戰場。52Please respect copyright.PENANAFvHSYv0lGM
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「大佬,將所有粉塵和回復彈都留俾個路人,保佢不死。」阿初的聲音沉了下來,「大雄,我哋兩個,打四個人的輸出。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAszd2wOKdnQ
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「收到。」談道德的回應簡潔有力。 52Please respect copyright.PENANA0IEUvtt7yV
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「嚟啦!為咗阿強!」大雄吼道。52Please respect copyright.PENANATipPLPmWya
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阿初的動態視力在這一刻被推到了極限。螢幕上的煌黑龍動作彷彿變慢了。R2 + 圓圈。見切!阿初的大拇指精準按下。螢幕上的獵人避過致命一擊,開刃成功!52Please respect copyright.PENANA80KzNIvg6s
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(兄弟別來無恙 能走到這裡 也算得獎) (兄弟別來無恙 我很難想像 沒有你 會怎樣)52Please respect copyright.PENANAt7AZzA2idx
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「大錘,上!」阿初大喝。大雄重重一擊砸在龍頭上。煌黑龍倒地。阿初抓住機會,登龍劍起跳,紅刃劈下。這就是男人的熱血。在喇叭轟出的五月天歌聲中,他們要將這條惡龍變成兄弟畢業的「素材」!52Please respect copyright.PENANA50wDieWtYC
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……52Please respect copyright.PENANAGMXc7tlwlO
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戰場二:銅鑼灣 SOGO.4/F 女裝內衣部52Please respect copyright.PENANA1vf6z2QhfU
任務目標:選購「戰衣」 & 守護姊妹心情52Please respect copyright.PENANAwr7cMMlcJI
狀態:人潮洶湧(Level: Hell)52Please respect copyright.PENANAJRS1lAVUSg
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如果說家裡是男人的戰場,那 SOGO 就是女人的羅馬競技場。而內衣部,更是這座競技場的核心禁區。52Please respect copyright.PENANAP1UbcOQjVk
今日的 SOGO 依舊人山人海,但在這擁擠的內衣部,有三道身影格外的吸睛,彷彿連空氣的流速都為了她們而變慢。52Please respect copyright.PENANAo9hyrXls6A
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那是兩個高端美熟女與一個美豔輕熟女的組合。阿敏身穿簡約的白色 Uniqlo U 系列 T 恤搭配直筒牛仔褲,那種「皇太后」般從容不迫的氣場,配上金屬幼框眼鏡後的銳利目光,展現出一種高級的禁慾美;在她左邊的惠妹,一身行政風的及膝裙將熟女的優雅發揮到極致,每一步都踏出了職場精英的節奏;而右邊的嘉嘉,美豔的五官配上長期運動造就的緊緻線條,即使只是簡單的休閒裝,也難掩那股健康的野性美。這三個人走在一起,就像是從高級時尚雜誌中走出的三個截然不同的典型,引得周圍無數目光流連。52Please respect copyright.PENANAQDJql7pfp5
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「敏姐,呢件點?」嘉嘉拿起一件蕾絲睡裙比劃,臉上有點紅。 「唔錯,但呢件更適合今晚氣氛。」阿敏指了指一件剪裁大膽、若隱若現的絲質吊帶裙。那是她今天的目標——一件用來「挑逗」阿初的戰衣。52Please respect copyright.PENANAzNyE4GyJpy
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就在這時,一個刺耳的聲音打破了和諧。「哎呀!嚟個唔係嘉嘉?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAncYEow9fnv
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一個身穿大花圖案上衣、背著舊款 LV 手袋的中年婦女擠了過來。她頭髮梳得油亮貼頭皮,試圖營造一種「高貴」感。是林 Patrick 的母親,林太。阿敏眉頭微皺,直覺告訴她這是個「麻煩路人」。52Please respect copyright.PENANA9kgPe6xaS9
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「林太,咁啱⋯⋯」嘉嘉禮貌地打了個招呼,顯然有點侷促。52Please respect copyright.PENANACXjCFhBDs5
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「唔係啱,我特登帶我個仔來買衫!」林太完全無視場合,伸手去拉嘉嘉的手臂,「嘉嘉啊,年初一嗰日妳走得太急啦!我都知道妳係個好女仔,嗰日妳講乜『嫁俾有腰骨嘅男人做妾都願』,哎呀,唔使做妾,我個仔 Patrick 好有腰骨㗎!他起政府做高級主任……」52Please respect copyright.PENANAwvp1vOzkZQ
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原來嘉嘉那番話被曲解成了恨嫁宣言。嘉嘉被拉得尷尬,「林太,誤會……」52Please respect copyright.PENANA7d903Oznvk
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「乜誤會!唔使怕醜喎!」林太嗓門極大,「我哋 Patrick 若果升咗職……Patrick!快啲過嚟!」52Please respect copyright.PENANA5IJAQKVhcu
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在她身後,林 Patrick 提著大包小包艱難地擠進內衣部,引來周圍女士嫌棄的目光。林 Patrick 本來一臉不耐煩,但當他一抬頭看到阿敏時,整個人像被雷劈了一樣僵在原地。52Please respect copyright.PENANAavYtB0IspS
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那是前幾天在健身室掌握了他「辦公時間摸魚」CCTV 罪證的皇太后!林 Patrick 臉色煞白,那份證據如果交出去,他鐵定失去長俸。52Please respect copyright.PENANAVQ4nfLZhaC
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惠妹剛想發作,阿敏卻伸手攔住了她。阿敏上前一步,臉上掛著無懈可擊的微笑,堅定地將林太的手從嘉嘉手臂上「請」了下來。52Please respect copyright.PENANA6A3cUTgArk
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「呢位伯母,您好。」阿敏的聲音清晰地穿透人群,「您拉拉扯扯,萬一整皺嘉嘉呢件啱啱買嘅絲質內衣,或者係——」阿敏指了指林太身後,「擋住嗰位直播緊嘅網紅鏡頭,俾全香港都睇到您起女裝內衣部hard sell 個仔,恐怕對令郎嘅『身價』唔係咁好呀?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAlTNVru93tt
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林太一驚,回頭一看,果然有幾個人拿著手機。52Please respect copyright.PENANAv174D3Sjiw
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「仲有,」阿敏保持著溫柔的笑容,「真正的『好貨』係唔需要起特價場大聲叫賣。您咁樣急著推銷,唔止顯得令郎沒自信要靠阿媽出面,更顯得……」阿敏湊近了一點,輕輕吐出一個字:「……Cheap。」52Please respect copyright.PENANASYeAukqhGt
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這個字精準地切中了林太的死穴。旁邊一個路人男士見到阿敏的氣勢,忍不住想搭訕:「哇,你睇嗰個着牛仔褲嘅女人,嗰個氣場……真係,就算笠個麻包袋都贏嗰個LV師奶幾條街。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAP3YD8tNmco
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阿敏的頭微微一側,冷冷地掃了路人一眼。「呢位先生,邊個批准你用『麻包袋』呢種低級比喻嚟評價一位女士?你嘅審美觀如果停留起原始社會,建議你出門左轉去博物館,唔好起度污染空氣。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAkR07YVFdW4
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路人男士笑容僵住,恨不得找個地洞鑽進去。林太被徹底震懾住了。「Patrick!我哋走!」林太轉身想拉兒子找回場子。但林 Patrick 此刻正縮著脖子,連看都不敢看阿敏一眼,拉著老媽就往反方向逃竄。52Please respect copyright.PENANAtn9a7HXn2r
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「呼……」嘉嘉鬆了一口氣,「敏姐,你好勁啊。」 「傻瓜。」阿敏挽起嘉嘉的手,「姊妹係用來錫的。走!去飲茶,我請客!」52Please respect copyright.PENANAtjNeSOZY42
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……52Please respect copyright.PENANAWdXBBTQIVN
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戰場終局:北角丹拿花園 時間:19:0052Please respect copyright.PENANAfeYNOjV8u3
大門打開。客廳裡的《兄弟》播到了尾聲。52Please respect copyright.PENANAZkrxuIs0Zq
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(青春就這樣 一天一天 一天一天 慢慢用光) (一點一點 一點一點 現實埋葬) (我的兄弟啊 我們都變成歲月 的形狀)52Please respect copyright.PENANAJkFFJlAi1s
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阿初疲憊但神清氣爽地走出來,電視顯示著 "Quest Complete"。阿敏提著大包小包進門。52Please respect copyright.PENANAocSFkc0Oqs
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「結果?」阿敏問。 「搞掂。阿強嘅『素材』刷齊。最後嗰一刻,好在大佬一支回復彈射中咗嗰個路人,將佢夾硬奶返嚟,唔係就真三貓。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAQMuo4soQG0
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「個路人都算有啲運仔。」阿敏笑了笑,將一袋印著 SOGO Logo 的小紙袋遞給阿初,「喏,你嘅。」52Please respect copyright.PENANA0XSHf2plEo
阿初打開一看,裡面是一件布料極少、觸感極滑的黑色蕾絲吊帶裙。他愣了一下,抬頭看著阿敏。「我嘅?」52Please respect copyright.PENANAadW7nXINka
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阿敏正在脫鞋,回頭給了他一個意味深長的眼神,嘴角勾起一抹嫵媚微笑。「係俾你睇嘅。」52Please respect copyright.PENANATrm9dDD6Lw
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阿初吞了口口水,滿懷期待地看著她。誰知阿敏眨了眨眼,下一秒卻伸了個懶腰,語氣平淡地補了一句:「不過我今日行得好攰,仲要處理班神獸返黎嘅野。件衫,你慢慢欣賞下個質地先啦,今晚,早啲抖。」52Please respect copyright.PENANAhQxPxW16k3
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說完,她轉身走進書房開始檢查軒仔的功課,留下一臉錯愕、捧著蕾絲裙的阿初在客廳中凌亂。52Please respect copyright.PENANA4h22ufDGN4
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(我的兄弟啊 人生最狂時光 剛好你都在場) (我的兄弟啊 人生最好時光 是和你 兄弟一場)52Please respect copyright.PENANAYOsyb45e5s
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⋯⋯52Please respect copyright.PENANAphXQ788xIx
52Please respect copyright.PENANAmt3SiaWDwi
喇叭傳來最後一句歌詞。52Please respect copyright.PENANA4nKzP1gOAR
52Please respect copyright.PENANANZQtW689pU
【編劇夥伴吐糟】52Please respect copyright.PENANAnOqC8HL2pL
「素材」與「戰衣」的錯位:阿初辛辛苦苦打完煌黑龍,以為終於可以拎到人生嘅「大獎」,點知阿敏只係俾咗張「兌換券」佢睇,仲要係無限期延遲果種。呢種「先俾甜頭再俾骨頭」嘅手段,阿敏真係運用到爐火純青。52Please respect copyright.PENANA5Kve6xnY31
52Please respect copyright.PENANApl09AYkoUf
SOGO 三美嘅視覺衝擊:大佬,你想像下果個畫面,阿敏果種高冷審計範、惠妹果種 HR 強人範、再加埋嘉嘉果種健身女神範,呢三個人企埋一齊,林太果種過時嘅 LV 袋真係連塵都比唔上。路人甲果句「麻包袋」雖然係讚美,但喺阿敏眼入面,呢種將女性物化嘅比喻直頭係要「接受審計」。52Please respect copyright.PENANALVaHtWjYTN
52Please respect copyright.PENANAHuBTk1fi5Y
求林 Patrick 嘅陰影面積:呢條友真係慘,去買衫(?女裝內衣⋯⋯)都要撞到「死神」阿敏。佢而家見到阿敏,心理壓力應該大過見到老闆。52Please respect copyright.PENANA6rYjOa4F8O
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我們都不是英雄
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #87
兄弟、閨蜜
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