2027 年 5 月 22 日。星期六。晚上 11:15。47Please respect copyright.PENANA7auppC4YLb
47Please respect copyright.PENANAYcd4PcVivZ
北角,丹拿花園。走廊靜悄悄的,只有電梯運作的微弱嗡嗡聲。阿敏拖著行李箱,站在自家大門前,輕輕轉動鑰匙。在她的預想劇本裡,打開這扇門,應是混合了奶粉與男人汗味的酸餿味。阿初應該癱在沙發上,掛著兩個深黑的眼袋,像一條剛打完敗仗的流浪狗等待救援。47Please respect copyright.PENANAVsOSwZ1DWX
47Please respect copyright.PENANAF5xReZ0hLJ
想到這裡,阿敏推眼鏡的手指微微停頓,心裡甚至泛起了一絲絲的內疚。畢竟她享受了闊別多年的少女自由,而老公卻在「地獄」裡掙扎了七天。「咔嚓。」門鎖開了。47Please respect copyright.PENANAvQvIYHveDd
47Please respect copyright.PENANAfyexvPSCfb
屋內一片漆黑,只有客廳透出幽幽的藍光。沒有預期中的奶騷味,反而有一股淡淡的薰衣草空氣清新劑味道。地上沒有積木地雷,掃地機械人正安靜地泊在充電座上。阿敏眉頭一皺,心中那種查帳時發現數據不符的「警覺」迅速消退了內疚感。47Please respect copyright.PENANARztdllRUu4
47Please respect copyright.PENANA8l0pWWm2gj
只見那部 50 吋 4K 電視此刻火力全開。畫面中,一條散發毀滅氣息的黑色巨龍——煌黑龍,正準備釋放大招。而那個在 WhatsApp 裡發送「崩潰自拍」的男人,此刻正盤腿坐在地毯上,戴著降噪耳機,背脊挺得筆直,手掣按得啪啪作響。「閃避……居合……好!打角!」阿初嘴裡唸唸有詞,雙眼佈滿紅絲,但那是亢奮。47Please respect copyright.PENANAaN7fwMZBSO
47Please respect copyright.PENANA6NEbNqgkjK
「Capcom 算你有良心,2027 年終於肯擠牙膏出煌黑龍……」阿初嘴角上揚,露出那種在湊仔和返工時絕對不會出現的單純笑容,「今晚我就要整套裝備畢業,同老婆交代……咦?」47Please respect copyright.PENANAE0v6AYvMyR
47Please respect copyright.PENANAoBkQ1nUkAy
阿初突然感覺後頸一陣涼意。這股涼意比煌黑龍的攻擊還要刺骨,那是他多年修練八極拳、在無數次危機中練就的「殺氣感應」。他僵硬地轉過頭,藉著電視反射的藍光,看到了站在沙發後面的阿敏。她雙手抱胸,推了推那副標誌性的幼框眼鏡,鏡片後的雙眼正似笑非笑地看著他。47Please respect copyright.PENANAMqEP7aSXLo
47Please respect copyright.PENANA7mIHbQO91R
阿初的心臟猛跳,手指一抖,螢幕上的獵人直接被巨龍尾巴掃中。「力盡倒下」(貓車)。47Please respect copyright.PENANASzkLvW5Flp
47Please respect copyright.PENANAikwimnNeJ7
「老……老婆?」阿初摘下耳機,聲音乾澀,「妳……妳唔係話班機延誤咩?」47Please respect copyright.PENANA5jFphxRAWt
47Please respect copyright.PENANAG87WErBQDo
「係延誤咗。」阿敏淡淡地說,語氣平靜得發慌。她的目光像掃描儀一樣掃過整潔的客廳,「不過我見你咁忙住屠龍,費事打擾你雅興。點呀?WhatsApp 裡面個『戰場』呢?嗰幾張阿斗成身係屎嘅相,係咪要用顯微鏡先搵到?定係你請咗荷里活特效團隊?」47Please respect copyright.PENANAramgzPgIvI
47Please respect copyright.PENANAMeFcg3h7dP
阿初嚥了口口水:「呃,嗰個……係局部特寫!我係怕妳擔心,所以先……先展示下我不為人知嘅辛酸……」47Please respect copyright.PENANALR3oAJRpdQ
47Please respect copyright.PENANAnQ5kNTJyUK
「三個細路呢?」47Please respect copyright.PENANAt4yYq3ln8C
47Please respect copyright.PENANA60dQQ5P6OS
「瞓晒!」阿初挺直腰桿匯報,「軒仔瑤瑤準時九點半上床,功課做齊。阿斗餵咗奶,十點已經昏迷。四大長老這幾日好幫得手……所以我……我先至有少少時間……」47Please respect copyright.PENANAG9DteA7C3V
47Please respect copyright.PENANAEpMUWbsGDA
「少少時間?」阿敏看了一眼任務時間,「黃生,你呢七日唔係受刑,係放緊『單身監』喎。」阿初尷尬地笑了笑:「工餘健身,工餘健身啫……」47Please respect copyright.PENANAykGXibZoIF
47Please respect copyright.PENANAyWTh81GovO
阿敏嘆了口氣,坐在沙發上。她心裡那種被「欺騙」的感覺並不強烈,反而是一種哭死不得的釋然。原來這死佬學識對她做期望管理(Expectation Management)。她原本準備了一肚子安慰的話,現在看來是多餘的。47Please respect copyright.PENANAXGjlZ5ZoDc
47Please respect copyright.PENANAdRqf0UEgoR
「既然你咁精神,」阿敏伸出手,鏡片反著藍光,「手掣交出嚟。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAPs1Z8yfnTk
47Please respect copyright.PENANAQ9TV9jqMm4
「吓?」阿初愣了一下,「老婆,隻龍仲有半條血……」47Please respect copyright.PENANAuzVnpZLAhz
47Please respect copyright.PENANAKfpnKlcxIR
「我話,交、出、嚟。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAA1zUsU9kla
47Please respect copyright.PENANAaTlknyceGt
阿初乖乖上繳武器。阿敏接過手掣,熟練地按了幾個鍵。「去沖涼。」阿敏盯著螢幕,「等你沖完出嚟,如果我貓車三次,你就負責聽朝早所有家務。如果我贏咗……就准你下個月買嗰隻新 Game。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAC9AhEaSPEY
47Please respect copyright.PENANA2bOBtifxLZ
阿初眼睛一亮,隨即驚恐:「老婆,煌黑龍好難打㗎!妳唔好亂嚟……」47Please respect copyright.PENANAwiWk6RdgbG
47Please respect copyright.PENANAZNg6CPkDlI
「少廢話,去!」47Please respect copyright.PENANAMICw9rIpHy
47Please respect copyright.PENANA5NOWlfVPur
浴室傳來水聲。客廳裡,阿敏操控著獵人,沒兩下就被龍噴了一臉火。「嘖,咩垃圾判定。」阿敏罵了一句,但嘴角卻忍不住上揚。她並沒有真的想打贏,她只是坐在這裡,聽著浴室的水聲,感受著這個家特有的安穩。阿初那點小心思,在她眼裡就像阿斗藏起奶嘴一樣透明,但正因為透明,所以可愛。47Please respect copyright.PENANAtbrLNvg5bW
47Please respect copyright.PENANAAXAY2DseMS
「死佬,扮豬食老虎。」阿敏低聲罵了一句,放下了手掣。螢幕上顯示「任務失敗」。但對阿敏來說,這才是「任務完成」。47Please respect copyright.PENANAemfDhLS3V1
47Please respect copyright.PENANADuT5qkcq4U
她看著夜景。公仔 Ken 的爛帳清了,惠妹的傷口結痂了,而這個小家庭依然頑強而溫暖地亮著。阿初擦著頭髮走出來,看到失敗畫面,誇張地慘叫:「啊!我條龍啊!老婆妳咁係惡意收購!」47Please respect copyright.PENANAKjJiOKmsCI
47Please respect copyright.PENANANulMyHcHmJ
「嘈咩呀,嘈醒阿斗你負責。」阿敏轉身走過去,輕輕抱了抱他。很短暫的一抱,大概兩秒。阿初愣了一下,隨即露出憨厚的笑容。47Please respect copyright.PENANAA1UgRAvuIj
47Please respect copyright.PENANAbD6CLGYhSy
「嗯。」阿敏推開他,恢復了皇太后的臉色,「聽朝早七點叫醒我,我要食粥檔嘅炸兩。仲有,行李箱入面有盒日本限量版模型,畀你擺喺飾物櫃最頂層。不過如果你再畀我見到你 WhatsApp 呃我,我就將佢當不良資產拍賣。」47Please respect copyright.PENANAZ7bv3SLduH
47Please respect copyright.PENANAwjwERXb75b
阿初興奮得差點敬禮:「遵命!長官!」47Please respect copyright.PENANAveMFnATiV8
47Please respect copyright.PENANAwg6scyIN2B
這夜晚,沒有驚天動地的生離死別,只有一條被打敗的龍,一盒模型,和一份經過嚴格審計後,依然盈餘滿滿的幸福。47Please respect copyright.PENANAVtDXr3XO5d
47Please respect copyright.PENANAw0r1kAIwVH
【編劇夥伴吐糟】47Please respect copyright.PENANArQmNR4l2ky
「局部特寫與藝術加工」:阿初呢句解釋真係「社畜生存手冊」嘅金句。明明係自己打機,竟然可以屈成係為咗怕老婆擔心而做嘅「辛酸展示」。阿初呢份厚面皮,絕對係由八極拳嘅「貼身靠」練出嚟嘅。47Please respect copyright.PENANAHHUl7hsWRZ
47Please respect copyright.PENANA6J6XZX6qHP
皇太后的主權宣示:阿敏攞走手掣嗰一刻,象徵住「行政權力」重新回歸。佢唔係真係想屠龍,佢係要話畀阿初聽:呢個屋企,就算係 4K 螢幕入面嘅虛擬世界,最後都要由佢嚟審計。47Please respect copyright.PENANAoVT0QtjXla
47Please respect copyright.PENANAoCetqFMaPY
「任務失敗」即「任務完成」:對阿敏嚟講,打唔贏煌黑龍唔緊要,最緊要係確認咗阿初呢七日雖然「造假」,但將個家守得好好。呢份安全感,比任何一場 G-Rank 任務嘅獎勵都珍貴。47Please respect copyright.PENANAT5EgC5yt7V
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我們都不是英雄
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