2027 年 2 月 5 日。星期五。年廿九(除夕)。62Please respect copyright.PENANA6ZlhOXdnEn
62Please respect copyright.PENANAtfRoRI9UAB
春秧街的「集體失憶事件」發生在昨晚(年廿八)。如果你以為救了老婆、打了壞人,第二天就可以請假休息,那你就不配做香港社畜。阿初昨晚帶著阿敏錄完口供、安撫好被嚇壞的街坊、再趕回家處理三隻神獸的晚飯與洗澡,躺下時已是凌晨三點。雖然阿初在街坊的奧斯卡級演技掩護下全身而退,但始終是硬碰硬撞了四個壯漢,「貼山靠」的反作用力讓他的肩膀隱隱作痛。62Please respect copyright.PENANAG86mfbvVtJ
62Please respect copyright.PENANAacYGJIgxEe
早上九點,太古坊藥廠男廁。阿初躲在最後一格,掀起恤衫,咬著牙將跌打酒用力擦在肩膀一片瘀青上。那股濃烈的藥材味瞬間瀰漫了整個廁所。62Please respect copyright.PENANA2wjPAtCySj
62Please respect copyright.PENANApQ0HRRNJNq
「搞掂,快啲散味。」阿初穿好衫,噴了點止汗劑掩蓋味道,推門而出。回到辦公區,前台那個熱愛《十月初五的月光》、每天都在追舊劇重播的 00 後小妹,一見到他就甜笑:「初哥哥!早晨呀!嘩,你今日陣味好勁喎,係咪昨晚幫人『通渠』嚟?」62Please respect copyright.PENANAgeC1VvUvrB
62Please respect copyright.PENANAFcjL7YsCdt
「係呀,通咗幾條好頑固嘅『淤塞』。」阿初苦笑一聲,心裡想著那幾條「淤塞」現在應該還在羈留病房等著律師。62Please respect copyright.PENANAAtMt3gXbt8
62Please respect copyright.PENANApy2w9Zxuxf
下午三點,物流部成了戰場。剛升職的 Product Executive Jason,名牌大學畢業,自認醒目,正拿著一份越南疫苗的報關單衝過來。Jason 這種人,書讀得多但最愛走捷徑。他一臉「我很靈活」的表情說道:「Chris哥!呢批貨個 Logger 仲未有讀數,但船期趕到甩肺,不如我哋先放行?反正之前一百次都無事,唔使咁死板吧?」62Please respect copyright.PENANAKO4PAnxC5l
62Please respect copyright.PENANAIZyyJRImSO
在公司,除了老闆談生叫他「阿初」,其他人為了貪方便都叫他「Chris」。阿初正在揉著肩膀,聽到 Jason 這句話,眼神一沉。「Jason,」阿初指著電腦上的 SOP,「依家係年廿九下晝三點。如果你依家放行,萬一初三嗰邊投訴溫度超標,你要我飛過去越南救貨?到時候,係你賠兩百萬美金,定我賠?」62Please respect copyright.PENANAT222lAqKvf
62Please respect copyright.PENANAWyjmTkLMi5
「哎呀 Chris哥,做人要識走位嘛,唔好咁僵化……」62Please respect copyright.PENANAyXthtyZi3G
62Please respect copyright.PENANA4iIvPbGitx
「嚟啲唔係僵化,係保命。」阿初突然轉台,用一種標準的八十年代地鐵廣播腔調說了一句英文:"Please stand behind the yellow line."62Please respect copyright.PENANAGKUZTyyjZD
62Please respect copyright.PENANAL7QOPQtow5
Jason 愣住了:「吓?黃線?咩黃線?」62Please respect copyright.PENANAQv8T2m1170
62Please respect copyright.PENANAyPuAQ5BRLN
阿初嘆了一口氣,這就是代溝。在他成長的年代,月台邊只有一條黃線,老油條永遠站在黃線後面。「批貨,Logger 無讀數,就係唔簽。你急著收工?就依家立刻去追數據,而不係叫我陪你賭博。條黃線,我死都不會過。」62Please respect copyright.PENANA29h2UfM3tE
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJfAapVdouM
同一時間,中環。阿敏辦公室的氣壓低得讓人窒息。年尾是審計高峰,大家只敢戰戰兢兢地叫她 Carman。一個新來的 Junior Auditor 抱著兩盒包裝精美的日本乾鮑,聲音發抖地轉達客戶想「隻眼開隻眼閉」的暗示。62Please respect copyright.PENANAfhPHqytpYj
62Please respect copyright.PENANAS2sLC3FHwU
阿敏連頭都沒抬,推了推那副金絲眼鏡,眼神銳利如刀:「退返去。ICAC 啲咖啡過年都不打折。記住,我哋係負責畫黃線嘅人,唔係跳落去試法嗰個。」Junior 嚇得轉身就跑去退貨。62Please respect copyright.PENANAjJcJ9Fvrfs
62Please respect copyright.PENANAh5f84ieBer
傍晚六點半,全港交通大癱瘓。阿初終於簽完了最後一張單,衝出太古坊。他在北角接了阿斗、軒仔和瑤瑤。阿敏則在中環殺出重圍,兩人約好在西灣河地鐵站會合。這是一場與時間的競賽。阿初背著阿斗,雙手還要護著軒仔和瑤瑤,避免被旁邊阿叔的一大棵桃花插到眼。62Please respect copyright.PENANAECjNDfIoOo
62Please respect copyright.PENANAL1PULZRsZ4
晚上八點,西灣河黃家老屋。今年黃老太訂了一個圍村正宗大盆菜。當阿初一家五口滿頭大汗地衝進門時,最令人驚訝(其實也不太驚訝)的是,林嘉嘉正坐在大錘旁邊,熟練地幫忙分發碗筷。她今天沒穿名牌,穿了一件喜慶的紅色衛衣。62Please respect copyright.PENANAmqT94WZpEd
62Please respect copyright.PENANAjMFc7MJmGn
「敏姐!阿初!你哋返嚟啦!」林嘉嘉跳起來,那聲「敏姐」叫得極其順口,充滿了自願做細的覺悟。62Please respect copyright.PENANAN3JO5JneRb
62Please respect copyright.PENANAiKU3a3pxzP
阿敏看著這個「固定資產」,嘴角微微上揚。「嘉嘉,妳唔返半山豪宅對著維港食風?」62Please respect copyright.PENANASuJbPkVPFs
62Please respect copyright.PENANAoqNRkXwcYx
「嚟度熱鬧嘛!」林嘉嘉笑嘻嘻地遞過熱毛巾,又遞上她加料的「極品花膠」作為伙食費,「敏姐,妳試下啱唔啱口味。」62Please respect copyright.PENANAc2VaJgJxgR
62Please respect copyright.PENANA1tdF5dVduS
「起筷!起筷!」大錘一聲令下。蘿蔔吸滿了汁,大蝦鮮甜。阿初夾了一塊燒肉,肩膀的瘀痛與整日的疲憊彷彿都在這一刻化解了。62Please respect copyright.PENANAOyP4aPUfE6
62Please respect copyright.PENANAJRz5msfGb7
「阿初,」外父陳生舉起酒杯,「聽講你昨晚在春秧街『路見不平』?」62Please respect copyright.PENANAnVLeV4XECf
62Please respect copyright.PENANA7zV2zLRQhh
「無呀爸,」阿初一臉無辜,「我只是咁啱路過,啲人自己滑倒嘅。我呢種打工仔,最怕死,永遠企起黃線後面。」62Please respect copyright.PENANARgHI0cPm40
62Please respect copyright.PENANACI2tpZBGFH
全家人都心照不宣地笑了。只有林嘉嘉一邊嚼著花膠,一邊用崇拜的眼神偷瞄阿初,心裡暗爽:昨晚那記貼山靠,明明就是越過黃線把人撞飛了好嗎?阿初真係好型!窗外,西灣河燈火璀璨;屋內,這群平凡的香港人,正慶祝著又一年的平安存活。62Please respect copyright.PENANA2OCF91Uz1S
62Please respect copyright.PENANAl5pG4x58Bz
【編劇夥伴吐糟】62Please respect copyright.PENANAYRr2a6Psxv
社畜的「黃線」信仰:阿初同阿敏對「黃線」嘅堅持,其實係一種PTSD(創傷後壓力症候群)。佢哋喺呢個容錯率極低嘅城市打滾咗咁多年,深知「走位」係留俾啲唔怕死嘅後生仔(好似 Jason),而「企定定」先係養妻活兒嘅真理。62Please respect copyright.PENANAyMYp8h3gEy
62Please respect copyright.PENANAPd0C6g1nZv
嘉嘉的「花膠外交」:嘉嘉真係好醒,佢知道阿敏係屋企嘅「首席執行官」,所以先送花膠俾阿敏試口味。佢用呢種方式將自己由「外來侵略者」轉化為「年夜飯贊助商」,呢份情商進步得好快。62Please respect copyright.PENANAz89tgr4krK
62Please respect copyright.PENANAeG9PDmi92f
大錘的默契:大錘明明知道阿初昨晚出咗手,但佢選擇唔穿,仲陪阿初一齊扮無辜。呢種「父子默契」其實係對阿初最高嘅肯定——你已經成長為一個可以保護家庭、仲識得喺法律邊緣全身而退嘅男人喇。62Please respect copyright.PENANAy72LE1pRbk
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #63
Please stand behind the yellow line
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