2026 年 9 月 7 日。週一晚上。北角。57Please respect copyright.PENANAp1FqJ0kBl5
現實情況往往是「坦白從寬,牢底坐穿」。57Please respect copyright.PENANAxqy9ZOM7U3
坐在辦公室位上的阿初,看著電腦螢幕上的物流清單,腦袋卻在飛速運算今晚的「生存率」。談道德找他去按摩,這絕非第一次,想當年兩人在舊廠時期,確實是「難兄難弟」。阿初不是不想去,在生活壓榨到乾涸時,他也想找個地方「維修」一下,但北角這地方對他來說,風險溢價實在太高。57Please respect copyright.PENANA1yCHteP8lr
雖然阿初剛升了職,月入已達八萬港元,跨入了藥廠高層管理的門檻,但在阿敏面前,他那「物流主管」的頭銜依然抵不過一份「家用審計報告」。「談生,」阿初趁休息時間溜進談道德的辦公室,反手鎖門,一臉苦相,「你玩嘢呀?北角呀!阿敏落樓買杯凍奶茶都會經過嗰條街。你帶我去嗰度,同帶我去自首有咩分別?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAkh8WKeClyV
「阿初,呢啲叫『最危險嘅地方就係最安全』。」談道德慢條斯理地擦著那副木邊眼鏡,語氣充滿了那種斯文敗類的哲學感,「職場禮儀第一條:上司買單,下屬受難。你推三阻四就係無義氣。何況,嗰間嘢嘅經理係我識嘅,後門直通英皇道,撤退路線我都幫你規劃好咗。你俾嗰個詠春女撞到散架,唔去鬆一鬆,你呢部『物流老爺車』遲早報廢。」57Please respect copyright.PENANACAFqkZcvCl
阿初咬著牙,心裡掙扎萬分。拒絕上司兼兄弟確實「大鑊」,但家裡的「核數女王」更可怕。阿敏早就因為他有「前科」,在他的手機裡裝了精準度極高的定位。他腦子轉得飛快,決定採取「拖字訣」——這是在物流界處理緊急貨期時最常用的手段。他推說手頭還有幾份報表要覆核,讓談道德先出發,自己隨後匯合。57Please respect copyright.PENANAOpAsbisTn2
當晚七點半。阿初先火速衝到英皇道強記買了兩杯凍奶茶少甜,然後大搖大擺地推開北角新居的大門。阿敏正一邊搖著阿斗,一邊翻閱著一張從藥廠同事那裡傳來的現場截圖——正是下午林嘉嘉遞名片的那幕。57Please respect copyright.PENANAuyFFpvueI8
「阿初,聽講你今日喺藥廠門口大發橫財喎?」阿敏語氣平淡,嘴角帶著一絲似笑非笑的嘲弄,那是審計前的寧靜,「有個健身中心老闆要收購你?仲話想養埋我三個細路?你依家身價咁高,睇嚟真係好受歡迎喎。」57Please respect copyright.PENANA1DaFY0VRSX
「老婆,妳聽我講。」阿初放下公事包,遞上那杯「吊命水」,拿出最誠誠懇懇的表情,「嗰個林嘉嘉根本係個穿越劇睇上腦嘅傻婆。佢話我抹散咗她心境?我仲想佢賠返我對鞋嘅折舊呀!呢啲笑料,我原本諗住返嚟講畀妳聽,當係『飯後餘興』。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAEz3WQtOPtr
「穿越傻婆?」阿敏啜了一口奶茶,那種微甜的口感讓她眉頭稍微舒展,眼神中閃過一絲嬌俏,「我都覺。呢個時勢,仲有人玩呢啲『武林情緣』,係咪未聽過北角阿敏個名呀?既然係咁,名片我沒收咗,當係廢紙處理。不過……」57Please respect copyright.PENANApoBOPQ8hiT
阿敏眼神一閃,晃了晃手機,「談道德頭先傳訊息畀我,問我食唔食宵夜,話要留你喺公司處理藥物召回。阿初,你點解咁早返到嚟?」57Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3syxZK3h0
「哦,佢份人妳知啦,斯文敗類,佢話要親自督師,其實係想自己喺公司偷懶睇波。他見我做得快,就叫我先走,話他自己搞掂埋尾。」阿初面不紅氣不喘地編織著謊言,甚至還故意裝出一臉「義氣」,「我依家飲啖水就要返去搵他食宵夜,費事他話我無義氣,畢竟他係波士。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAknEtzVyPhj
這招叫「虛實結合」。阿初算準了談道德現在正處於「無法接聽電話」的狀態,而阿敏雖然情報網厲害,但也未必能插手談生私下的「維修時間」。57Please respect copyright.PENANA1ltj7G0lrk
晚上九點半。阿初慢悠悠地走到那間位於北角後巷、裝潢隱晦的按摩院門口。他沒有進去,而是站在門外的雲吞麵檔,叫了一碗細蓉,慢慢食。直到十點正,談道德一臉神清氣爽、腳步輕快地從按摩院後門走出來。57Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZVfysSJxZ
「喂!大佬!」阿初揮揮手,一臉「焦急」地衝過去,「唔好意思呀!公司嗰邊啱先系統Down咗,我對數對到依家先趕到!你……你做完喇?」談道德看著阿初滿頭大汗(其實是熱麵蒸出來的)的樣子,先是一愣,隨即有些不好意思地拍拍阿初肩膀:「哎呀,阿初,你真係勞碌命。我都做完啦,好好服務。既然你趕唔到,呢餐宵夜我請,當係補償你今晚加班。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAYw5KsHh2Jx
「多謝大佬!」阿初笑得憨厚,成功地以「加班」的名義,在兩方之間游刃有餘地甩了身。一場危機,就這樣被他化解於無形。他既沒得罪上司兼兄弟,又沒讓皇太后有機會「清盤」,甚至還賺到了一頓宵夜。57Please respect copyright.PENANAeeizbJeIlp
「阿初呀,」談道德一邊咬著雲吞,一邊感慨,「你依家都仲咁搏命,真係辛苦。不過,北角呢個地方……真係太危險,頭先我起裡面,總覺得背後涼颼颼嘅,好像阿敏就起附近買奶茶一樣。」57Please respect copyright.PENANA2yqdasEn12
「所以話呢,大佬,道德呢家嘢,都係返屋企對著老婆講比較穩陣。」阿初喝了一口熱湯,心裡想著:「好好哋唔得嘅,係要玩呢啲高難度物流。」57Please respect copyright.PENANAZmjIAvBJo9
這對「難兄難弟」在北角的燈火下吃著宵夜。57Please respect copyright.PENANA0NZTC7fUOS
57Please respect copyright.PENANAqghX83ftgv
【編劇夥伴吐糟】57Please respect copyright.PENANAp5jgs64F45
阿初的「影帝級」動線:阿初呢套「買奶茶回家拆彈 -> 偽造加班 -> 假裝遲到匯合宵夜」嘅動線,簡直係物流管理嘅藝術。特別係用雲吞麵嘅蒸氣嚟偽造汗水,呢種細節真係只有老油條社畜先諗得出。57Please respect copyright.PENANAnvbs9XDw1y
57Please respect copyright.PENANA1D5W6yRE6M
阿敏的「情報衛星」:阿敏竟然有同事傳嚟嘅現場截圖,證明阿初身邊隨時有「審計眼線」。佢嗰種嬌俏嘅威脅感,比林嘉嘉嘅直球攻擊更有殺傷力。阿敏個句「廢紙處理」,其實係給予阿初最後嘅警告——名片可以沒收,你個人如果被沒收就大鑊喇。
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #50
「拖」字訣
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