2026 年 8 月 30 日。星期日,黃昏。海洋公園。53Please respect copyright.PENANAtYvaHKSZr8
隨著夕陽開始沉入南朗山的脊線,這支龐大的「黃陳聯軍」終於在八月盛夏的殘餘熱浪中撤退。在阿初那近乎軍事級的物流排期下,眾人乘坐吊車緩緩降回山下。53Please respect copyright.PENANAv9GhH7guHY
或者是因為在剛才 Food Court 那場混亂中,阿初展現了「重型物流坦克」的壓迫力,又或者是大家在熱到中暑的邊緣被汗水浸夠了,回到山下後,這支混亂的隊伍竟然奇跡地出現了分流。53Please respect copyright.PENANAN1btNJsKeh
「阿初,你同阿敏去行下嗰個大水族館啦。」陳生推了推眼鏡,看著正揉著肩膀的女婿,難得露出一絲慈父的微笑,「我同你阿媽帶軒仔同瑤瑤去睇金魚。大錘佢哋兩公婆話去幫阿斗搵個靜啲、有冷氣嘅地方餵奶。至於阿朔同阿婕……」53Please respect copyright.PENANAcX5XexW1k7
陳生看了一眼正滿臉不情願、卻被阿敏盯得死死的兩個人,續道:「佢哋兩個既然體力咁充沛去同人爭位,就負責幫手睇住所有行李同推架車。阿初,你同阿敏去放鬆下啦。」53Please respect copyright.PENANA72KHP3LAuP
阿初簡直不敢相信自己的耳朵,他看著阿朔背著那個原本屬於自己的重型背囊,阿婕則一臉嫌棄地推著掛滿雜物的傘車,兩個人像被罰留堂的小學生一樣跟在長輩後面,在三十幾度的餘溫中繼續當苦力。53Please respect copyright.PENANAKgYgGDtkWW
他看向阿敏,兩人的眼中都閃過一絲名為「重獲自由」的淚光。這幾個月來,自從阿斗出世,他們兩公婆別說去茶餐廳坐低飲杯凍奶茶少甜,就連安靜對望一分鐘的機會都沒有。53Please respect copyright.PENANAjyrzY144Hr
海洋奇觀(水族館)內部。53Please respect copyright.PENANAUqON9FvR0y
強勁的冷氣瞬間隔絕了外頭八月的暑氣。阿敏站在幽藍色的水光下,推了推金絲眼鏡,整個人散發出一種「核數自然涼」的高冷質感,連額角的汗水都彷彿被這股氣場凍結。53Please respect copyright.PENANA0N2F7PL1XJ
阿初牽著阿敏的手,感受著這份久違的寧靜。阿敏此刻靠在阿初身邊,整個人軟糯得像換了一個人,在昏暗的水光下,金絲眼鏡折射著深藍的光澤,平時凌厲的眼神變得溫婉如少女。53Please respect copyright.PENANAMlKoUiH9x3
「老婆,妳記唔記得,我哋第一次拍拖,好似都係嚟呢度?」阿初看著巨大的圓型魚缸,語氣變得溫柔。53Please respect copyright.PENANA7NzValHvJV
「記得,你嗰陣仲係個死傻仔,話想跳落去幫我捉條小丑魚。」阿敏依偎在阿初膊頭,難得地收起了那份職業性的霸氣,語氣輕柔得像一抹藍色的水波。她看著玻璃反射出的影子,輕聲感嘆:「時間過得真快。眨下眼,我哋竟然由兩個人,變咗一個十四個人嘅『非法集結』。就算係咁,我依然覺得嚟筆『壞賬』好值得投資。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAMfBGZ2fvzP
阿初聽得心裡一暖,感受著阿敏難得流露的柔情,正想低頭親吻她的額頭。偏偏,這個世界總是有種人鍾意首尾呼應地「阻住地球轉」。53Please respect copyright.PENANAG9HetmvcOp
「影相呀!閃光燈開大啲!嗰邊嗰對情侶,行開啲啦,阻住我哋影相呀!」53Please respect copyright.PENANAAyTw4nI799
一個刺耳且異常熟悉的聲音打破了幽藍色的浪漫。阿初轉過頭,看見那條熟悉的粗金鍊在水光下閃閃發亮。又是那個「金鍊男」!他此刻那件名牌 T-shirt 上還殘留著午餐時被濺到的橙汁漬,顯得極其猥瑣。他帶著女伴,正大搖大擺地無視「禁止閃光燈」的告示。53Please respect copyright.PENANA52H1MeTRCU
「一日之內,第三次。」阿初感受到阿敏原本靠在他肩膀上的體溫瞬間冷卻,那股溫婉的少女感在零點一秒內消失殆盡,取而代之的是一種讓人背脊發涼的「皇太后」殺氣。53Please respect copyright.PENANAW0rBRSxQZt
「阿初,」阿敏從阿初懷裡站直,慢條斯理地撥了撥頭髮,對著這班「殘渣」露出一個極度冰冷的笑容,「我原本以為今日嘅『審計額度』已經用完,但睇嚟有人想申請『破產保障』。我唔想講法律,我想講『品味』。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAMyShvPgMmw
阿敏直接走到金鍊男跟前,雙手插袋,金絲眼鏡後的眼神比極地館的碎冰還要冷:53Please respect copyright.PENANA51ydKoMsZ8
「第一,你知唔知閃光燈會令深海魚產生應激反應?你呢啲叫『殘害動物』。第二,呢度係公共空間,你叫人『行開』?睇你成身衫污糟辣撻,仲有一陣發酵咗嘅紙包飲品臭味,你連入嚟呢度都係污染空氣呀!」53Please respect copyright.PENANAbc2p2BIeSW
阿敏指著對方手上的高級相機,嘴角露出一絲蔑視:53Please respect copyright.PENANACG4s9i0IYo
「第三,影相影到你咁嘅構圖,喺美學上叫『垃圾資產』。你連幫我影張證件相都未夠班呀,死肥佬!你咁鍾意閃,不如我叫海洋公園職員送你去表演棚閃返夠本好無呀?」53Please respect copyright.PENANAR2n4kGTSQP
金鍊男被噴得臉紅耳赤,正想指揮身邊的人發難,阿初已經悄無聲息地站到了他側邊。53Please respect copyright.PENANAg2QEKY9vTN
「依家教你咩叫『景深』。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAq38ed6mcRu
阿初沒有出拳,只是左手一引,右手輕輕按住對方的後頸。八極拳的「纏勁」發出,金鍊男只覺全身一麻。接著,阿初腳步一橫,借著對方掙扎的衝力輕輕一送,男人整個人重心全失,精準地「塞」進了走廊轉角的一個大型珊瑚裝飾模型後方。53Please respect copyright.PENANAp9SysyJsE4
「阿初,做得好。」阿敏走過來,對著縮在裝飾後、滿臉驚恐的男人補了一刀,「一日俾人教三次,你都算係人類進化史上面嘅奇蹟。以後出街記得帶腦,仆街!」53Please respect copyright.PENANAbqJliUFHMZ
兩分鐘後,俠侶重新歸位。53Please respect copyright.PENANAYTuLFnr7nq
「老婆,我哋去睇海馬?」阿初重新牽起阿敏的手。53Please respect copyright.PENANAD63QuXbHPm
「睇完就要返去湊阿斗、換尿片喇。」阿敏嘆了口氣,眉頭卻是舒展的,「阿初,其實……頭先噴人嗰下,真係好爽。呢個月湊仔嘅壓力,好似都噴晒出嚟。」53Please respect copyright.PENANA49cFYzwCvG
「咁……我哋要唔要行快啲?睇下仲有無白痴?」阿初憨厚地笑了。53Please respect copyright.PENANAMLwRaRSUIC
「走啦,死社畜。」53Please respect copyright.PENANAdDJjbmxp94
幽藍的水光中,這對北角俠侶終於在混亂的家族遠征中,偷到了一刻屬於他們的深海溫柔。53Please respect copyright.PENANARvFj29raAU
53Please respect copyright.PENANAE0mhNFLrUD
【編劇夥伴吐糟】53Please respect copyright.PENANAtKbGQUD01K
「核數自然涼」的高級感:阿敏企喺水族館入面,真係有一種「深海之王」嘅氣勢。嗰個金鍊男撞正佢,簡直係主動行入碎紙機。阿敏嗰句「垃圾資產」構圖,真係對攝影愛好者最大嘅羞辱。53Please respect copyright.PENANABxsWL6aYIc
53Please respect copyright.PENANA82HzdJbV5g
十四人聯軍的「戰略分流」:陳生果然係見過大世面嘅阿公,知道阿初同阿敏再唔放風就會爆發「家庭核危機」,所以主動提出幫手。而阿朔同阿婕做苦力嗰部分,真係睇到我好治癒。53Please respect copyright.PENANAygVRLySoU2
53Please respect copyright.PENANAtht1klumq6
阿初的「景深」教學:阿初而家啲八極拳已經化入生活,唔使打打殺殺,用「纏勁」將人塞入珊瑚模型,呢種「物理性隱藏」嘅幽默感,先係高級嘅社畜武學。53Please respect copyright.PENANAVcFSyApLVN
53Please respect copyright.PENANA1rRCFsWCJi
阿斗的寧靜:全章阿斗雖然無出現,但佢嘅存在感無處不在。阿敏最後嗰句「返去湊阿斗」,將呢對俠侶由深海浪漫拉回現實,呢種反差先至係生活。53Please respect copyright.PENANAFOuALucoYA
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #43
礙事的纏勁
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