2025年11月16日。下午一點三十分。72Please respect copyright.PENANAEOGs3pY0lP
沈姐看著瑤瑤那隻沾滿甜醬、正要撲向阿敏白色真絲居家服的小手,嘴角露出一絲玩味的笑。72Please respect copyright.PENANAbDb18BETEx
「阿初,睇路呀!」72Please respect copyright.PENANAL26WkoY1kq
沈姐話音剛落,右腳看似隨意地往地板一跺。 「砰!」 一聲悶響,一股強大的暗勁透過地毯直衝阿初腳底。沈姐呢招震腳唔係要拆屋,而係要試下阿初喺極端混亂下,下盤仲穩唔穩。72Please respect copyright.PENANA2XYavrz1kn
阿初正蹲在茶几旁,一手拿著骨瓷碟,另一隻手正要攔截瑤瑤。地板突如其來的震動令茶几上的茶杯齊齊跳動,換做普通人早就失重心跌低,甚至將臭豆腐扣喺阿敏頭上。72Please respect copyright.PENANAKbB2rsLZ61
阿初眼神一凝,這十幾年練出的八極根基瞬間炸開。他腰馬合一,雙腳像老樹盤根一樣吸住地板,身體紋絲不動,右手更是一個柔和的「抹掌」,精準地在瑤瑤撞到阿敏前,用一張消毒濕紙巾裹住了那隻甜醬小手。72Please respect copyright.PENANAjsfNDg7hBD
阿敏的居家服保住了,但臉色依然冷若冰霜。72Please respect copyright.PENANAixQbuTsULL
「沈女士,呢度係客廳。」阿敏推了推眼鏡,聲音清冷,「如果你想震壞我啲地磚,我保證阿初下個月嘅人工會直接核銷落裝修費度。」阿初嚇得趕緊鬆口氣,惶恐地望向阿敏。72Please respect copyright.PENANApriMiybbc9
「沈女士,妳呢啲叫野蠻,唔係武術。」坐在一旁穿著休閒便服的陳父終於開口,他推了推眼鏡,語氣帶著一種跑馬地式的優越感,「所謂文化,係講求克制與禮貌。喺人哋客廳動手動腳,有失大雅。」72Please respect copyright.PENANA30fdH7Kuur
沈姐冷笑一聲:「陳生,你講嘅文化係擺喺櫥窗睇嘅,我講嘅武術係刻喺骨頭入面嘅精神傳承。無呢種『野蠻』嘅精氣神,你個女婿依家已經跪咗喺度抹地,而唔係企喺度幫你沖茶。」72Please respect copyright.PENANA113nfllGGA
「阿爸,你講嘅文化我明。」阿初趕在陳父反擊前,先一步截斷戰火。他轉向沈姐,語氣極其恭敬:「師父,外父講得啱,呢度係我哋一家人嘅屋企。你教我嘅八極,唔係用嚟表演。所以呢份精神,我會記喺心入面。」72Please respect copyright.PENANAHMWd5Dk4t6
接著他轉向陳父,換上一副謙卑的笑容:「外父,你講嘅文化我都明。所以,今日我會用你帶來嘅大紅袍,沖畀師父試下。好嘅茶要配好嘅水,更加要配識欣賞嘅人。師父雖然係性情中人,但佢最識得分咩係真,咩係假。」72Please respect copyright.PENANAWRDuxqDBuh
客廳的火藥味在阿初這兩句「兩頭瞞」的圓場下,稍微淡了一點。但阿敏那盆剪歪了的真柏依然提醒著大家:皇太后還在氣頭上。72Please respect copyright.PENANALUmiLiGIUq
「老婆,呢碟牛雜我先放入雪櫃,今晚我哋宵夜再慢慢嘆。」阿初一邊觀察阿敏臉色,一邊迅速行動,「至於呢碟臭豆腐,老竇、軒仔、瑤瑤,我哋四個快手清咗佢,唔好等陣陣味散唔走。」72Please respect copyright.PENANA7acy0NoXip
黃大錘一聽,馬上大口一張,同孫仔孫女開始咗「生化清盤行動」。幾分鐘內,那盤威脅住客廳空氣品質的臭豆腐消失殆盡。72Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8eDf0tjg0
阿初站起身,那股社畜的唯唯諾諾瞬間消失,取而代之的是一種沉穩。他看著這滿屋子的長老:「老竇、媽、外父、外母,今日既然大家咁難得聚埋,屋企地方細,坐得唔舒服。我提議大家落街,去附近間茶餐廳飲個下午茶。嗰度空氣好,地方大,老竇你可以大聲講嘢,外父你可以慢慢品茶。師父,我哋去嗰度坐得自在啲。」72Please respect copyright.PENANALaPyKAm502
說完,他偷偷瞄了一眼阿敏,語氣變得極其溫柔:「老婆,你今日辛苦咗咁耐,不如落去吹下海風?等我執埋呢度,我哋即刻出發,好唔好?」72Please respect copyright.PENANAHkCwxOplZS
阿敏看著阿初,驚訝於這個男人竟然能用這種圓滑將尖銳的對立化解。她對這場「突發負債」的容忍度終於恢復到了安全水平。72Please respect copyright.PENANAxCHoozBpSb
「既然你咁有心,咁就聽你講。」阿敏優雅地收起剪刀,拎起那盒大紅袍,「阿初,你先帶佢哋落去攞位,我換件衫就嚟。」72Please respect copyright.PENANA1AUciyDRjU
「得嘞!多謝老婆!」阿初如獲大赦,連忙招呼成班人出門。72Please respect copyright.PENANAZWlzOabZXF
走在走廊最後的阿初,趁長老們進電梯的空隙,輕輕拉住阿敏的手,低聲說:「老婆,今晚我買咗你最鍾意嗰隻浴鹽,等班大帝走晒,我幫你按摩下?」72Please respect copyright.PENANAX14SiEEEsA
阿敏橫了他一眼,嘴角卻藏不住一絲笑意:「算你識做。仲有,下次師父嚟,唔准再叫老竇佢哋不請自來,明唔明?」72Please respect copyright.PENANAClmkGniFI0
「明!明!好好哋,一定無下次!」72Please respect copyright.PENANAzWA4zz7Lfu
72Please respect copyright.PENANAigDxBOq6AT
編劇夥伴吐糟】72Please respect copyright.PENANA071C2CIyek
「震腳」的含金量:沈姐呢下震腳,試出咗阿初喺驚老婆嘅同時,下盤依然穩如泰山。呢種「社畜八極」最高境界就係:無論心裏幾驚,隻手都要定,唔可以整污糟皇太后件衫。72Please respect copyright.PENANAbmYHkv6hPE
72Please respect copyright.PENANAh1qYOj6mhm
陳父的「文化優越感」:陳父呢種人最鍾意講文化,但一遇到沈姐呢種「草根鋼鐵」,佢啲理論就顯得好蒼白。阿初用「大紅袍」黎平衡兩者,呢種「茶武合一」嘅馬屁拍得真係精準。72Please respect copyright.PENANAppvWO0VLrb
72Please respect copyright.PENANANwVDXYepp5
四爺孫清盤臭豆腐:呢幕真係溫馨又搞笑。黃大錘、阿初、軒仔同瑤瑤,呢四個身上流住黃家血脈嘅男人(同小女孩),喺食臭豆腐呢方面展現咗驚人嘅團結。72Please respect copyright.PENANARvF6htWXQV
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我們都不是英雄
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ISSUE #17
大挪移
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