二零一七年二月九日。伊利沙伯醫院，私家病房。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72dWkoVJ00
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這裡的空氣聞起來不像樓下的急症室那樣，充斥著焦慮的汗味和廉價的漂白水氣息。這裡有一種經過過濾的、昂貴的寧靜。窗外的九龍公園徑車流如織，但在這層雙層隔音玻璃的阻隔下，只剩下一幅無聲的流動畫面。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBM7pnMg5cu
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黃信陵坐在病床邊的陪護椅上，看著手中的私家病房收費單，眉頭輕輕抽搐了一下。那是一種生理性的痛楚，直接連接到他的錢包神經。雖然作為公務員，他有醫療福利，但要在這流感高峰期迅速從那個彷彿戰地醫院般的公眾病房轉出來，這筆額外的「升級費」足以讓他肉痛好幾個月。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCd0BZKILbB
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但他覺得值得。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbS4fUSgat
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當他想起二月一日那個充滿硝煙與血腥的下午，想起藍穎珊腹部那道深可見骨的刀傷，以及她在急症室推床上那張蒼白得近乎透明的臉，錢這個概念就變得毫無意義。她在深切治療部（ICU）躺了整整六天，直到前日才轉入普通病房，隨即被阿信強行安排進了這裡。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6me58QjaMP
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「黃生，如果你個表情再咁苦大仇深，護士會以為我爭你好多錢。」病床上傳來一把虛弱但依然帶著刺的聲音。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI1MeRtT92
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阿信抬起頭，收起帳單。阿珊半靠在升起的床背上，臉色依然蒼白，但眼神裡那種屬於「獵犬」的光芒已經回來了幾分。她身上穿著那件寬大的淺藍色病人服，因為受傷的位置在腹部，她稍微一動就會牽扯到傷口，眉頭便會不自覺地皺起。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQIhowZbNY
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「妳係爭我好多錢。」阿信站起身，從保溫瓶裡倒了一杯暖水，「單係呢幾日嘅房租，夠我食幾個月茶餐廳。妳最好快啲好返，然後寫多幾篇爆文還債。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFR5aRu0JV
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「市儈。」阿珊接過水杯，輕輕抿了一口。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrirKTnxY1
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「現實。」阿信糾正道。他看了看手機，下午二時十五分。「我仲要返去執達組報到，今朝有單緊急嘅封樓令要處理。妳自己搞唔搞得掂？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0rbgyrCyYJ
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「死唔去。」阿珊擺擺手，「快啲走，你起度反而阻住我思考。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadPmMSmG4G
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阿信看著她，眼神複雜地停留了兩秒，最終沒有多說什麼，轉身走出了病房。他知道阿珊需要空間，也知道今天下午會有誰來。這是一種默契，也是一種無奈的放手。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcf27QudzGS
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XZCMcSCV8
阿信前腳剛走不到十分鐘，病房的門就被推開了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rln7AeLHQ
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進來的是一個像肉球般的身影，手裡提著一個果籃，那果籃大得有些滑稽，裡面堆滿了那種只有探病才會買、平時根本不會吃的昂貴水果。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxv6KFGxDZt
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3PcbYF2YH
「珊姐！我嘅女神！我嘅超級英雄！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliOeExbXCt
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6HMsab5hY
倫誕那把高亢的嗓音瞬間打破了私家病房的寧靜。他一進門就把果籃往床頭櫃上一「墩」，那震動讓阿珊的傷口猛地抽搐了一下，痛得她倒吸一口涼氣。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9S4wvIYSAA
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「倫誕，如果你想我傷口爆線死喺度，你可以再大聲啲。」阿珊咬著牙，冷冷地擠出這句話。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY2KZrgh685
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「哎呀，對唔住對唔住！」倫誕連忙退後兩步，拉過椅子坐下，但臉上的興奮完全掩蓋不住。他掏出手機，恨不得把螢幕塞進阿珊的眼球裡，「妳睇下！妳睇下呢個數！爆咗呀！真係爆咗呀！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡygt4CkS7tk
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螢幕上是《爆點》那晚直播的數據後台。那條紅色的曲線像是一支穿雲箭，直插雲霄。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTyPQD8ZEh
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「單場直播最高在線人數三十萬！總點擊率已經過百萬！留言區洗板洗到Server都Down咗兩次！」倫誕激動得口沫橫飛，那雙被肥肉擠成一條線的眼睛裡閃爍著對流量的狂熱崇拜，「珊姐，妳知唔知妳依家係網絡神話？嗰個包公道俾人鎖住手銬嘅畫面，加上妳成身血瞓喺地上面嗰一幕，網民話係『現代俠女』呀！廣告商電話打爆咗我部電話，話要贊助妳康復後嘅專欄……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGH3olDKQg
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阿珊冷眼看著他。她腹部的傷口還在隱隱作痛，那種痛楚是真實的，是冰冷的刀鋒切開肌肉與神經的記憶。而倫誕口中的那些數字，在此刻聽起來竟是如此虛無且諷刺。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGV0cVvA4S
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「講完未？」阿珊打斷了他。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTQOlQRFX5
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倫誕愣了一下，「呃……仲有，不如妳簽長約，人工加倍……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbnsHLogqZA
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「我話，你講完未！」阿珊突然提高了音量，儘管這讓她痛得面容扭曲，「倫誕，你個腦係咪裝滿咗屎？我瞓喺ICU六日，你入嚟第一句唔係問我死得未，係同我講點擊率？你知唔知嗰刀再深多一吋，你就唔係嚟探病，係去殯儀館瞻仰遺容呀！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSnW5bO9Xb
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倫誕被罵得縮了縮脖子，臉上的興奮僵住了，「珊姐，我……我都係因為……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGaUdKDH4y
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「因為你有錢分囉！因為你啲點擊率囉！」阿珊指著門口，手指微微顫抖，「嗰晚如果唔係阿信，我條命就已經交咗俾你個所謂嘅『爆點』！你依家同我講網民叫我俠女？佢哋只係想睇血流成河咋！你同包公道嗰班人有咩分別？大家都係食人血饅頭，只不過你哋食得斯文啲，包裝得好睇啲！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYls4FrFMv
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「躝。」阿珊閉上眼，胸口劇烈起伏，「攞埋你籃生果躝出去。我驚我忍唔住用個榴槤質落你個頭度。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YaZhfe0iq
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倫誕張了張嘴，看著阿珊那張因憤怒而慘白的臉，終於意識到自己觸碰到了底線。他灰溜溜地站起來，尷尬地搓了搓手，「咁……妳好好休息，我遲啲再嚟……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0hFKAoBca
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門被輕輕關上。阿珊像是洩了氣的皮球，整個人癱軟在枕頭上。傷口的痛楚像潮水般湧來，她咬著下唇，直到嘗到了一絲鐵鏽味。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMuVbSR6HYD
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這就是她拼命換來的「成就」。一堆數字，還有一個不懂人話的編輯。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX2mUnCwYCw
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下午四時。陽光開始西斜，將病房染成了一片暖橘色。門再次被推開。這一次，進來的人沒有發出任何聲響。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tZKIFkVQX
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駱致孝穿著一套剪裁完美的深灰色西裝，手裡沒有果籃，只有一個小小的、包裝精緻的黑色紙袋。他走到床邊，就像走進自己的辦公室一樣自然，拉開那張剛剛被倫誕坐熱的椅子，優雅地坐下。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgYYOM5Y6g
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「睇嚟妳嘅精神嘅錯，鬧人大聲到連走廊盡頭嘅護士站都聽得到。」駱致孝推了推那副金絲眼鏡，嘴角掛著一絲標準的、毫無溫度的微笑。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFa6R3HxCA
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阿珊睜開眼，看著這個曾將她推向深淵的男人。奇怪的是，面對駱致孝，她反而沒有對倫誕那種憤怒。或許是因為駱致孝從來沒有偽裝過什麼，他就是一個徹頭徹尾的商人，而她是他的契約工。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa30RpbHTF6
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「駱律師大駕光臨，係咪想睇下隻狗死咗未？」阿珊聲音沙啞，帶著幾分自嘲。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tebvCBz0t
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「點會呢。」駱致孝將那個黑色紙袋放在床頭櫃上，「呢啲係一啲進口嘅蛋白粉，對傷口癒合有好處。妳係一隻高質素嘅獵犬，作為飼主，我當然希望我嘅資產能夠盡快恢復價值。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpSqPn5DiT
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「資產。」阿珊咀嚼著這個詞，冷笑一聲，「包公道已經被捕，你嘅家族對手都俾你清掃乾淨。我呢個資產，應該已經無利用價值囉噃？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1L03nm6Z1
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「妳太睇小自己，都太睇小呢個江湖啦。」駱致孝靠在椅背上，十指交叉，「包公道只是一個開始。經過呢件事，妳起傳媒界嘅聲望已經達到頂峰。一支有公信力嘅筆，比十個資深大律師仲有用。我唔會蠢到將咁樣一把鋒利嘅刀折斷。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCtHvqODdbn
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他頓了頓，從西裝內袋掏出一封信，輕輕放在被子上。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThjIptA6t9
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「呢啲係咩？」阿珊瞥了一眼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZihzYy5fuw
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「好消息。」駱致孝淡淡地說，「關於妳之前起金鐘港鐵站破壞公物、擅闖設施嗰單案。律政司方面已經決定撤銷控罪。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHfQ4IEVfM
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阿珊愣住了。那是她心頭的一根刺，雖然當時是為了救澄澄，但法律就是法律，她一直擔心這件事會連累到身為公務員的阿信。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡspnDryokyx
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「點樣做到？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGSLEXVT10
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「這不重要。重要的是，江湖有江湖的規矩，法律有法律的玩法。」駱致孝語氣平靜，「我駱致孝講過算數。妳幫我解決了我的問題，我也會解決妳的麻煩。這叫等價交換。以後先至有人信我，係咪？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijP8AHmOcb
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他指了指那封信，「不過，律政司雖然撤控，但港鐵嗰邊嘅民事索償仲係要處理。嗰個被妳砸爛嘅垃圾桶同電子鎖，帳單已經寄過嚟。呢筆錢，妳要自己找。咁叫『恢復性公義』，都係俾妳嘅一個教訓——下次發癲前，先睇睇標價。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfKUPYm6Am
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阿珊看著那封信，心裡的一塊大石終於落地。她知道這是駱致孝的手段，這個男人雖然冷血，但在交易上確實有著令人討厭的信譽。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7GGVklERB
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「多謝。」阿珊低聲說。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThxI0fuyBy
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8S4OyHf2jF
「不必。」駱致孝站起身，整理了一下並未起皺的西裝，「好好養傷。等妳出院，我有新嘅工作俾妳。呢次唔涉及人命，但報酬同樣豐厚。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevAOs6qeLy
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他走到門口，停下腳步，回頭看了一眼阿珊，「仲有，下次唔好再攪到自己咁狼狽。獵犬如果全身都係傷痕，雖然睇起嚟好英勇，但會影響賣相。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiICXn1iRi7
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駱致孝離開後，病房陷入了漫長的安靜。阿珊看著窗外的天色逐漸變暗，城市亮起了燈火。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSXSbcLYX3P
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晚上七時，阿信回來了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGSA4jNvgp
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這一次，他不是一個人。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr95fzfltrA
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「媽咪！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEEYlPbKII
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一聲清脆的呼喚，伴隨著一陣急促的腳步聲。澄澄穿著小學校服，背著書包，像一顆小炮彈一樣衝進了病房。但在離床邊還有一米的地方，她硬生生地煞住了車，小心翼翼地看著阿珊被繃帶纏繞的腹部。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQKIF4BC0o
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「唔好撞到珊姨……珊媽咪呀！」跟在後面的黃額娘急忙喊道，手裡還提著一個保溫壺。黃阿瑪則慢悠悠地走在最後，手裡拿著個環保袋。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP365nX8kmD
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「媽咪，妳痛唔痛呀？」澄澄趴在床邊，伸出小手輕輕摸了摸阿珊的手背。她的眼眶紅紅的，顯然在來之前已經哭過一場。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjA1AVTylsc
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那聲「媽咪」讓阿珊的心臟猛地收縮了一下，一種比傷口癒合還要酸癢的感覺蔓延全身。雖然在金鐘站那次之後，澄澄已經改了口，但在這種生死劫後重逢的時刻聽到，依然讓她眼眶發熱。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡON9J4QF0wW
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「唔痛。」阿珊伸出手，摸了摸澄澄的頭，「見到澄澄就唔痛啦。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYbfDSopII
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「呃人。」澄澄扁著嘴，「爸B話妳流咗好多血。我以後唔要妳做英雄啦，我要妳返屋企煮飯。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ675Cy5NNVo
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「好，返屋企煮飯。」阿珊柔聲答應，眼角有些濕潤。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GdmaJsZCG
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黃額娘走上前，雖然臉上依然帶著那種慣有的嚴肅，但語氣明顯軟化了不少，「飲湯啦。花膠燉雞，補血嘅。雖然妳平時無大無細，但今次……算妳命大。阿信為咗妳，這幾日魂魄都唔齊。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvjS1c6Iop
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「多謝額娘。」阿珊接過湯碗，心裡湧起一股暖流。這個一直對她有微言的老人家，在這個時候送來的湯，比任何止痛藥都有效。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLtSC4SsZQ
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探病時間過得很快。八點半，黃阿瑪看了看錶，示意該走了。「澄澄聽朝仲要返學，我哋帶佢返興華邨先。阿信，你今晚……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡceWhs33Gyb
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「我留喺度。」阿信簡單地說。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhItPLtZ481
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送走了老人家和依依不捨的澄澄，病房裡只剩下阿信和阿珊兩個人。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnAi3fcoH7
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阿信關上了門，拉過椅子坐在床邊。他脫去了西裝外套，只穿著那件有些皺的白襯衫，袖口捲到手肘處。那張平時總是帶著嘲諷與毒舌面具的臉，此刻在昏黃的床頭燈下，顯得格外疲憊與真實。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrFkls1KK2o
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他沒有說話，只是靜靜地看著阿珊。那種眼神看得阿珊有些發毛。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtP59u9jLvS
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「做咩呀？我隻面花咗？」阿珊試圖打破沉默。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLegeRal94o
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「妳知唔知……」阿信開口了，聲音低沉沙啞，「當日我起樓下抱著妳，妳成身都係血，體溫一直起度降……我有幾驚？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXhtKhnQIN
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阿珊的笑容僵在臉上。她看到了阿信眼底深處那抹未散的恐懼。那是她在過去五年裡，從未在這個男人臉上見過的脆弱。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGN9aBxee3n
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「嗰種感覺，同六年前一模一樣。」阿信低下頭，雙手交握，指關節因為用力而發白，「當醫生同我講一諾救唔返嘅時候，我都係咁樣抱著她。無力，徹底嘅無力。我以為我已經練好咗『情緒防禦』，以為只要我唔去在乎，就唔會再受傷。但當妳起嗰度流血嘅時候，我所有嘅防禦都崩潰晒。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iRwSw9BdE
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他抬起頭，眼眶微紅，直視著阿珊，「藍穎珊，妳係咪覺得自己條命好賤？為咗嗰個所謂嘅真相，為咗嗰個鏡頭，妳連死都唔驚？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EWaUld5k3
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阿珊沉默了。她看著這個男人，想起了他在大角咀扔掉令狀撞飛阿虎的樣子，想起了他在土瓜灣廢墟中抱著她嘶吼的樣子。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6luN3sjA9
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「我驚。」阿珊輕聲說，「阿信，我其實好驚死。但在嗰一刻……我控制唔到。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFt4PG0S8r
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她深吸一口氣，忍著傷口的痛楚，稍微坐直了一些，「咁就似係一種癮。當我睇到嗰啲偽善嘅人起陽光下招搖撞騙，我就忍唔住想去撕開佢哋嘅假面具。嗰種剝開真相嘅快感，比任何毒品都強烈。我知咁係好自私，但我……我改唔到。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5RcYEVccB
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阿信看著她，長長地嘆了一口氣。他知道她說的是實話。這就是藍穎珊，一隻無法停止追逐血腥與真相的獵犬。如果把她關在籠子裡，她只會枯萎。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qWiUTKNsk
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「我唔係要妳改。」阿信伸出手，輕輕撫過她蒼白的臉頰，「我只係想妳明白，妳依家唔係一個人。妳有澄澄，仲有……我。如果你死咗，我起呢個世界上就真係乜嘢都無晒。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqLbnI4WuC
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這句話比任何情話都要重。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeiqz6hkpXT
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阿珊的心臟劇烈地跳動著。她看著眼前這個男人，這個在過去五年裡給了她一個家、容忍了她所有的任性與瘋狂的男人。他們之間從未說過「愛」字，甚至連正式的情侶關係都沒有確認過，但在這一刻，那些界線都已經不再重要。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9AKOf9J8S
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阿珊伸出手，拉住阿信那隻粗糙、溫暖的大手。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVFaUtrEFP
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「過來。」她輕聲說。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIer9Zsywic
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阿信愣了一下，身體微微前傾。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZP71gjo1lY
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阿珊拉著他的手，緩緩地、堅定地將它放進了自己那件寬大的病人服內，貼在了自己心口的位置。那裡沒有傷口，只有劇烈跳動的心臟和溫熱的皮膚。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Klgx9fhOi
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「感覺到未？」阿珊看著他的眼睛，眼神裡帶著一絲水汽，「佢仲跳緊。因為你救咗我。阿信，呢條命係你救追嚟嘅，以後……歸你管。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0n74U6rZQU
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掌心下的觸感溫暖而柔軟，那是生命的律動。阿信感受著那份真實的溫度，一直緊繃的神經終於在那一刻徹底鬆弛下來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡts2Fom47g8
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他低下頭，額頭抵著阿珊的額頭，呼吸交纏在一起。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfepbGniTOh
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「講過算數。」阿信低聲呢喃，聲音裡帶著一絲顫抖，「以後先至有人信。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZgkImPAB0
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「算數。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHqPcDmU5T
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阿珊閉上眼，微微抬起頭，吻上了他的唇。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUODxSdevhm
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那是一個帶著消毒藥水味、帶著淚水鹹味、卻又無比溫暖的吻。在這個充滿了生離死別的醫院裡，在這個寒冷的二月冬夜，兩個滿身傷痕的靈魂，終於在餘波中找到了彼此的錨點。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdw8D5qOv4A
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窗外，九龍的夜色依舊璀璨，車水馬龍。江湖依然在運轉，新的風暴或許正在醞釀，但在這一刻，這間小小的病房，就是他們唯一的武林。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWl30MyyyEl
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【後設發言】50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuuaGHabPg
最後那一幕「手入懷中貼心跳」的設計，是我試圖在「非情侶但同居」的模糊關係中，尋找一個最具張力的定格。這比單純的擁抱或接吻更具備「生命交付」的儀式感。阿信的那句「講過算數」，呼應了他在混亂世界中對秩序與承諾的執著，也是這段關係最堅實的底座。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PPKW00IPQ
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