二零一六年十二月的第一個星期六。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHTSXeEWdYV
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡypEiC8yLjy
清晨六時三十分，灣仔天台。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R59X39yRH
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVXPT8ZMUs
冬天的冷空氣像是有重量的，沈甸甸地壓在石屎天台的每一寸裂縫裡。鐵皮頂上凝著一層薄薄的霜，在微弱的晨光下透著一股死灰。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOgbPCQnFU
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDQEe0pddh
黃靖澄醒了。七歲的小女孩，對溫度的變化最是敏感。她揉著眼，覺得屋子裡有一種平時沒有的「味道」——那是茶餐廳混著汗水，還有某種讓人臉紅心跳的、濃郁的香氣。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThIQyMuWFZ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTCsz9eAMR
她推開房門，光著腳丫踩在冰涼的地板上。客廳裡，那張平時用來堆雜物和午睡的舊沙發，此刻被一張薄被隆起了一個奇怪的形狀。爸B沒去晨跑，也沒在天台耍太極，他整個人陷在沙發裡，手橫過被面，緊緊地箍著另一個人。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0AlQZbSgU
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMDVnVZTNB
澄澄看見了珊姨姨的肩膀。那片皮膚在冷空氣中白得刺眼，沒有衣領，沒有肩帶，只有幾道淡紅色的痕跡。那件珊姨姨一直穿著、鬆垮垮的爸B白襯衫，此刻正像一件爛掉的皮，被丟在沙發邊的灰塵裡，袖口還沾著大角咀的黑泥。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5m6u1DoeZ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeK85HyfJN
澄澄站在那裡，心裡那種感覺不叫憤怒，叫「堵」。就像喉嚨裡塞了一塊沒嚼爛的餐包，嚥不下，吐不出。她看著他們相擁的樣子，覺得自己像是一個被丟在碼頭的小行李。她沒說話，轉過身，腳步極輕地回了房間。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGvepiJHse
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyli58s7vjt
「啪嗒」一聲，門鎖上的聲音在寂靜的屋子裡顯得格外清脆。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNykhcKF6nf
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8Y0Gj33eW
早上九時，軒尼詩道，「金鳳」茶餐廳。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bC8ZEuUPI
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SEOft80UN
「澄澄，今日份沙嗲牛麵好正呀，快啲食，食完爸B帶妳去買玩具。」阿信一邊說，一邊用手抹了抹眼角那塊散不掉的淤青。他今天心情很好，那是一種死裡逃生後的亢奮，連帶著看阿珊的眼神都多了幾分黏稠。阿珊坐在一旁，黑色的高領衫裹得嚴嚴實實，但臉上的那種紅潤是化妝品蓋不住的。她很自然地從阿信的碗裡夾走了一塊叉燒，咬了一口，又放回阿信碗裡。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzmA0Q3roy
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcNDnQuG1v
「妳唔好淨係食肉呀，飲多啖奶茶。」阿信笑著說，手在桌子底下悄悄握了握阿珊的手。兩個大人沉浸在這種劫後餘生的「親暱」裡，全然沒發現對面的澄澄，眼神冷得像冰室裡的冰磚。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPrKpLPaM2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQwX5By4yh
澄澄拿著筷子，對著那碗熱氣騰騰的沙嗲牛麵發呆。湯底的油脂慢慢浮上來，麵條在熱湯裡泡得發脹、變軟，最後像一團亂麻。她看著爸B幫珊姨姨撥弄頭髮，看著他們那種自以為沒人察覺的對視，心裡的那個餐包越脹越大。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY481Nn866H
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcYbLV0zZZd
「澄澄，妳今日點呀？係咪唔舒服？」阿珊終於察覺到不對，伸手想摸摸澄澄的額頭，「係咪琴晚冷親？」澄澄頭一偏，躲開了那隻手。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBzUfKF3qPM
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYHMC5wtrj
「碗麵好難食。」澄澄低聲說了一句，聲音帶著一絲沙啞。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgT1EausQMj
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlrfuTBKel
「難食？平時妳最鍾意㗎喎。」阿信皺起眉，卻又很快鬆開，轉頭對阿珊說，「可能真係冷親咗，細路女係咁，返去飲多啲熱水就無事。」這頓早餐，兩個大人吃出了「新婚」的甜蜜，而澄澄只吃到了沙嗲牛麵泡爛後的鹼水味。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSo6qr8pIw
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHNNdEhd1y
晚上八時，天台屋。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnOhfO9JPH
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWYKzIfEJq
魚缸裡的烏龜慢吞吞地爬上浮木，伸長了脖子看著外面的世界。澄澄坐在沙發正中間。她換了那件粉紅色的絲質睡袍，學著阿珊平日的樣子，領口拉得很鬆，兩條細細的腿晃來晃去。最要命的是，她把內褲脫了，塞進了枕頭底下。她就那樣光著身子坐在爸B平時坐的位置，盯著烏龜看，背影冷得像一尊小石像。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nUPNMz6J7
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyA1hvuvUN
「澄澄，妳做咩唔著底衫褲呀？會凍親㗎，快啲去著返。」阿信剛洗完澡出來，看到這一幕，心裡莫名地慌了一下。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvHPxusWmP
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrodVsgKbv
阿珊也走過來，手裡拿著蘋果：「澄澄，乖啦，珊姨姨幫妳著……」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡokmGUfAbQt
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqJAoeW3cKi
「妳走開呀！」澄澄猛地轉過頭，聲音尖銳得像是指甲劃過黑板，「你哋好煩呀！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIxy2xJVNf
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4twTUZfqdb
「黃靖澄！妳點同珊姨姨講嘢㗎？」阿信火了，那種在大角咀壓抑了一整天的暴躁和心虛同時爆發。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbghKEZlZS6
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEXkmJzvzW
「我就係咁講嘢！你哋以為我咩都唔知？」澄澄跳下沙發，睡袍下襬晃動，露出細瘦的腰肢，「你哋一邊講大角咀好危險，一邊又要去。爸B你平日係咪去打交呀？你身上啲青色係咪畀人打㗎？你係咪為咗珊姨姨先畀人打㗎？」阿信愣住了。他沒想到澄澄知道大角咀的事，更沒想到她會聯想到這些。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2XwLBzzBx
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK95222kel6
「我哋係大人嘅事，妳細路女唔識……」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr41VCZNlMU
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZjDSfmsri
「我唔識？我今日六點半就醒咗啦！」澄澄大聲喊了出來，眼眶瞬間紅了，「我見到你哋喺沙發度！你哋連衫都無著！你哋係咪覺得我盲㗎？你哋一邊話掛住媽咪，一邊又同珊姨姨喺沙發度……」她突然提到了葉一諾。那個只存在於相片裡、在澄澄一歲時就離開的親生母親。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnC3wAZJPeF
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXrmLsAIFIR
阿信的臉色瞬間從通紅變得慘白，手在那裡抖，卻一個字也罵不出來。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfvxoeN8fn
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaHgNk7X1f
「爸B你係騙子！珊姨姨都係騙子！」澄澄指著阿珊，哭得歇斯底里，「你哋平時扮到好正經，其實你哋最鍾意呃人！你哋以為你哋好叻？你哋連自己件衫都著唔穩呀！你哋背叛媽咪，你哋仲要背叛我！」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7LGFxiVsM
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMi61uVPPL
「澄澄……唔係咁樣嘅……」阿珊想解釋，喉嚨卻像被火燒過一樣疼。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSzQVbXXmVT
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fhYSAdjpQ
「你哋根本無常識！」澄澄抹了一把鼻涕，眼神毒辣得不像個七歲的孩子，「常識就係，呢間屋入面無人係傻㗎！你哋以為瞞住我、呃住我，就叫做護我？你哋連自己都保唔住，憑咩話保護我呀？」64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVMiqxuN1hw
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfs5bS9U5T
澄澄一邊哭，一邊衝回了自己的房間，用盡全身力氣「砰」的一聲關上了門。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3GvllVEtP
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqzrMWQ4hG
客廳陷入了死寂。阿信頹然地坐在剛才澄澄坐過的位置，那裡還殘留著一點點小女孩的體溫。地上的蘋果滾到了阿珊腳邊，沾滿了灰塵。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjllNQdRbuX
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0TpgYlkJ3
他看著阿珊，阿珊看著他。他們在大角咀賭贏了點擊率，賭贏了黑幕，卻在自家的天台屋裡，輸掉了那個叫「家」的最後一點尊嚴。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpQ2X0IXbr
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr5VQjRho4O
「我哋……真係輸咗。」阿信低聲說，聲音像是被冬風撕碎的紙片。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMagpkXgTfQ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XpFVchTPK
窗外的冷風颳過鐵皮頂，發出刺耳的摩擦聲。二零一六年的寒冬，這才剛剛開始，而他們最想贏到的東西，已經在澄澄的哭聲中碎成了一地殘渣。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIE4v9XELK
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnM9ZZWUi6
【後設吐槽】64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48pgPhJgU0
這一章寫得非常「壓抑」。阿信與阿珊在那邊喝奶茶、夾叉燒的樣子，在他們眼裡是「甜」，但在澄澄眼裡是「腥」。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IRBtdtXsb
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBrzwyjaHw
澄澄提到葉一諾的那一刻，簡直是把阿信這幾年建立的硬漢形象直接腰斬。最震撼的細節是澄澄脫掉內褲塞進枕頭，這是一個七歲孩子能想出最惡毒、也最無助的模仿，她是在用阿珊的方法來羞辱阿珊。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOmySVhvyU
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEm8Ond7jE
這兩個人自以為在大角咀贏了全世界，結果回過頭來，連一個七歲細路女的眼睛都騙不過。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrx0YptPuEF
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