dear future me - this is it I took it from my google docs

Dear future me 137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKFkHpbjal

Hi I am Lily I go by Ray and I've lost a lot in my life

Like my sense of home my mind my feeling and i've lost my own life

I am scared of change I am terrified of that idea because everytime its happens it ruined my life

I've seen the darkest parts of the human mind

They take and take and never give back

They use you they hurt you and ruin your life dont forget it they are the reason you cant run anymore the reason you have trust issues the reason you have that voice in your head

Saying beat them up smoke breaking things they wouldnt get things like I do

I feel her everyday

I might not remember everything that happened but I know that

Your friends in 1st grade are users and they hurt you they broke you

No one ever liked you no one and crushes are useless

No one and I mean no one will like you they all see you as a little sister

But in real life your scared your broken your empty

those demons in your head will never end

All that self hated it isnt worth it at all

I've lived through it all

I've hurt people too

Broken bones

Hurt minds

I have gaslit my best friend

Everyone hates me

I am alone I am broken

Everyone sees me as a little sister a innocent person

But no I am not ive seen the worse

Seen my dad smoke

Got high

Been alone and bullied so bad that I cant wear shorts

Lost my sense of belonging

Knowing ill never fit in

I don't belong but maybe you do

I wish for you my future self to be what I cant

Happy

Friends

Can trust

A real family

No hurting people

No fire

No anger

I want to be happy I want to be kind and innocent I long for it I need it

I need it man I what to be free from my demons and monsters

They haunt me and plague me hurt me and harm me

I am not insane for telling you this

You shouldn't have too smile to keep things working

Now i feel so cold and empty

They let you bleed until you were cold and dry of happiness

In the future you know no sun

You fake every smile

You smoke

You fake every laugh everyone seems happy without you

I am trying to work pasted it but I can’t not without accepting my past

All the scars on your legs its from kids throwing things you thought it would be best not to

Tell your mom it is a great choice

You stay up thinking about everything

Like how you will never wear shorts again

I just want to start over

You know I've spent my whole life alone without anyone

I just want to be a normal kid without trauma

You know with friends and free and without being alone

A new life a new family somewhere with family being more than blood and flesh

I want to be one of there one ,one of them

I want to be accepted as a human as a person

Someone who is normal

I've cried over million times

Seen the darkest minds

Been hurt so bad that i think about it to this day

137Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOxKPxQ2VH

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