The Secret We Never Told - Porcelain mask. | Penana

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The Secret We Never Told - Porcelain mask. | Penana

The Secret We Never Told

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The Secret We Never Told

ENTRY #4

Author:

savandler

Published:

Mar 18, 2026

The Secret We Never Told

Published:

Mar 18, 2026

ENTRY #4

Porcelain mask.

Author:

savandler

Published:

Mar 18, 2026

2 Mins Read

507 Words

I hurt,

I drown,

I suffocate myself.

I plaster on a face no one looks behind,

A porcelain mask so fragile that my tears stain it.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNExh1lyrJo

You lied.

You said forever,

Even when I avoided it,

Knowing we’re too young for forever.

Why’d you make me love you?

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6pEJs6QLH

I stand and stare,

My reflection a macabre version of my mask.

The mask cracked,

Blood trickling through.

The shards of porcelain stabbing,

Cutting.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeeIZMuCldp

I watch the blood trickle from my nose,

a beautiful river of red.

I watch more sprout from my chest.

I turn in the mirror and there they are,

Each person with their own knife,

Intricate and unique.

And I love them.

Love the reminders that I’ve been hurt but live.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGutSKyDmrl

I hate being a people pleaser,

Hate loving people.

I hate it because I can’t ever hurt someone.

I can’t say goodbye,

I’ll tie myself down,

I’ll hurt myself,

But I’ll never leave.

I’ll watch myself cry,

I’ll feel you slip away,

Yet I’ll still stay.

I’ll always stay.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UIf7XHQnw

I stayed with you,

I loved you.

You said you weren’t ready.

Your friend said you were relieved.

Was I that bad?

Was I bad enough that you felt pressured?

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLXYKzQNzx3

I hate you.

But I don’t,

Not really.

I hate myself for letting it happen,

For giving you the most intricate knife.

Wrought iron roses and hearts adorn the handle,

And the blade protrudes from my heart.

You stabbed it,

And I let you.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vUoogSgsJ

I smile and say I’m doing fine.

I’m not,

I cry each night,

I whisper each night,

I wonder why.

Why I wasn’t good enough?

Why I was too much?

Why I had to love you?

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNikQ3ohHVL

I scream inside,

The porcelain muting the sound.

No one hears it,

No one sees it,

No one realizes I’m bleeding out.

No one sees the body they step over,

The body that’s barely breathing.

And I hate it,

Because it’s my fault.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCOhGtpcMq

Do they care?

What if I just don’t show up?

Would they care?

If I bleed out and rotted in the street,

Would any of them care?

Would any of them notice?

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VnGrWKoPN

I sit,

Watching myself in the mirror.

I pick the porcelain pieces back up,

Rinsing them off,

Watching the water turn red.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhq7q5kxdk

You’re queen,

That’s what you called me.

You said I should’ve left you,

I didn’t listen,

I should’ve.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpaJCJHyrg

I glue the pieces of porcelain back together,

The cracks disappearing.

The idea of me being broken,

Erased completely.

I hold the mask up in my hand,

And I dip a brush in a container of red,

And I paint a smile.

I fit the mask back to my face,

Hiding the pain,

The fear,

The anguish,

The knifes.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAcgMODafP

It disappears in a blink,

I’m smiling,

I’m listening,

I’m laughing.

118Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGmcAnIGhp

I step on stage,

I say my line,

”I’m fine.”

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