咔嗤咔嗤—— <——此處運用了「頭韻重複法」和「擬聲法」。166Please respect copyright.PENANAj0tJSq0hPA
意義:透過重覆的「聲音」和「節奏」變化,讓文字在大聲朗讀時產生「顫動感」與「緊張感」。166Please respect copyright.PENANAa9fCk8Bn0V
166Please respect copyright.PENANAuWHHhlDUst
句字分析:「模擬『進食和啃嚼』。」166Please respect copyright.PENANA0aeaLtke08
理由:從一開始帶讀者進入現場環境,透過聲音讓讀者幾乎「聽到」場景中的恐怖動作,立刻有沉浸感,而且是通過被害人的視覺,讀者亦會聯想到口腔在活動。166Please respect copyright.PENANAL1eyss8Kzq
166Please respect copyright.PENANAfXH1fLWl0U
——咕嚕!<——這裡是「擬聲法」。166Please respect copyright.PENANAJbNogOopjk
166Please respect copyright.PENANAr0PKkioWBM
這裡同上面一樣,「讀音」有了明顯變化,「發音」和「節奏」都明顯改變了,同時形成不規律,卻有韻律效果的作用。166Please respect copyright.PENANAeFxZ9Zf8Wh
166Please respect copyright.PENANAqfSjiuH8gD
意義:不規律即是跟前面的句子不一樣,就像呼吸有輕有重,自然形成節奏韻律。166Please respect copyright.PENANANWJnMU824T
166Please respect copyright.PENANAMBqN8nxWm7
句字分析:「模擬『吞嚥』。」166Please respect copyright.PENANAwJoE3Hn5S4
理由:將進食感升華,帶入更恐怖的沉浸,亦是作為準備進入主題正餐的提前布置。166Please respect copyright.PENANAbupExxMna9
166Please respect copyright.PENANAfrwJ3Xvxtx
悚然的啃嚼如蟻蟲嗤喀嗤喀的攀爬著大腿,攀爬著小腹。<——將「擬聲法」『啃嚼』和『嗤喀嗤喀』放入句子,加入「觸覺感官」。166Please respect copyright.PENANAphMikPmquo
166Please respect copyright.PENANAGCGXxEFx3n
意思:讓讀者進一步代入世界,亦是由短句轉換為長句,將節奏改變,打破規律的安排。(達成韻律效果和不要有規律的節拍。」166Please respect copyright.PENANAc7nIrQuMOi
166Please respect copyright.PENANAUUgi8fv8Gn
不要有規律的節拍的意思:「四個字、四個字、四個字和四個字」<——這種像詩或押韻以及可預測的節拍,就是不符合條件。166Please respect copyright.PENANA5FVPIBmv7N
166Please respect copyright.PENANAItd64lPC5b
符合定義:「一個字、兩個字和三個字」或是「兩個字、四個字、一個字和三個字」,又可以是「短句、長句、長句、短句」這樣;沒有規律,沒法預測,節奏不斷改變,就像音樂或聲音,每個音符和發聲都有分別。166Please respect copyright.PENANAbdfQ2y0MNS
166Please respect copyright.PENANAUwi1O2U4YQ
「嗚……」孩童被捂住嘴。<——「擬聲法」和加入人物動作。166Please respect copyright.PENANAmiMAIE6Frf
句字分析:聲音被壓制,危險迫近,被害者通過觀察、聲音感受到害怕,恐怖生物就在附近。166Please respect copyright.PENANAZOvd2h5thj
166Please respect copyright.PENANAvHbzKZeRhK
意義:加入視覺感官,正式由場景轉換為第一人稱,徹底將讀者拖入世界。166Please respect copyright.PENANAH4JuRT5i8l
「別吵!」<———命令式語句。166Please respect copyright.PENANAWWOASA5MCe
句字分析:現場不止孩童一人,父母或其他大人也在,亦知道危機到來,恐懼,驚慌下作出捂住孩童嘴巴的動作。166Please respect copyright.PENANAs2tMVGv91z
166Please respect copyright.PENANA24SupYdfyv
坑坑洼洼的路面「噗哧㗳啦」的響動。<——「擬聲法」、場景和動作。166Please respect copyright.PENANASkLvFbWyYk
沉重步伐咯㗳咯㗳的靠近。166Please respect copyright.PENANAUyvLSHvfXh
166Please respect copyright.PENANAhlHeEb2JzJ
句字分析:凹凸不平的地面,積滿水坑,群體生物經過踐踏發出「噗哧㗳啦」聲響,生物身上有金屬成份或裝備,所以走路時發出「咯㗳咯㗳」的聲音。166Please respect copyright.PENANAYpw8gT8MF4
意義:將視覺拉回場景,製造心理壓迫感,某種生物快要到了,高潮即將來臨。166Please respect copyright.PENANAT4edoHrh7b
166Please respect copyright.PENANAQUJyNXjbxF
「哇呵哇呵—— 」 牠的咽喉傳出震音。<——「擬聲法」、「頭韻重複法」及動作。166Please respect copyright.PENANAnZa8A2JS4Y
「哇呵依咯,喎依——喀,嘰嘰嘠噂嚒——」 牠們渾身抖動回應。<——「擬聲法」、「韻律效果」、「虛構的字或名字,方言等」和動作。166Please respect copyright.PENANAwoYsJReVbP
166Please respect copyright.PENANALjXFNIVaEY
句字分析:牠們在溝通,有智慧,興奮,發現食物等等潛在意思。166Please respect copyright.PENANAuBflTdc1SI
166Please respect copyright.PENANAyTF6oHWDsF
意義:透過陌生發音,釋放出另類資訊,例如這不是地球生物,而是異界生物,達成練習要求「虛構的字或名字,方言等」。166Please respect copyright.PENANA7KFo1uGD7J
166Please respect copyright.PENANAgD5M1IQ0ri
「牠去了那裡?」<——普通句子。166Please respect copyright.PENANAvIhAzBOWai
意義:拉回視覺,同時中斷節奏,降低張力,讓人有種危險已經遠離的錯覺,其實危險仍在,只是不知何時會出現,人們會聯想會不會出現?期待接下來會發生什麼,或者鬆一口氣。166Please respect copyright.PENANAyUYEZ90qqx
166Please respect copyright.PENANA8lNvZhquHd
「——唦啦啦」<——「擬聲法」、「頭韻重複法」、「韻律效果」場景及動作。166Please respect copyright.PENANAqHjlR60vkY
髒兮兮的粗糙手指唰唰唰撥開枝葉。166Please respect copyright.PENANA4U8CdFwV0I
意義:轉折位,危險已經出現在眼前。「唰唰唰」擬聲詞放在句子裡,加重了視覺感和現場聲音,沉浸感即時放大,同時兼顧改變聲音發音,節奏沒有規律節拍。166Please respect copyright.PENANAABju5NetMx
166Please respect copyright.PENANAs7X6xYaNPj
「嘶——」<——「擬聲法」,「短句與長句交錯」166Please respect copyright.PENANA9vALth1uqQ
句字分析:在手指撥開枝葉後才出現,代表人們受到驚嚇時會發出的聲音,加入破折號後,便形成了尖銳或拖長的聲音。166Please respect copyright.PENANAk8oLr1JXvk
166Please respect copyright.PENANA89oNUHUFeO
「達——莫薩。」<——「虛構的字或名字,方言等」166Please respect copyright.PENANA6EQuh2iex3
句字分析:異界生物名稱或種族166Please respect copyright.PENANACKpq7DdHwq
166Please respect copyright.PENANAYBNKzkbhkV
人們不禁發出呼嚕呼嚕的急促喘息。<——「擬聲法」、「頭韻重複法」。166Please respect copyright.PENANAtJFvcZoHzX
止不住心跳「咚隆咚隆」!166Please respect copyright.PENANANI8ihxOFyU
句子分析:生命受到威脅,呼吸急促166Please respect copyright.PENANAO8g4gqX34M
意義:高潮爆發,張力頂點,情緒壓抑,壓迫感,兼顧劇情節奏起伏,過程中時高時低,甚至中斷,然後又重新到頂點。166Please respect copyright.PENANABHRxPmToYa
166Please respect copyright.PENANAGWFqOtYAmj
雨——<——單詞。166Please respect copyright.PENANAtWGF00dy4T
「嘀嘀㗳啦嘠唦唦」。<——「擬聲法」和「韻律效果」。166Please respect copyright.PENANAZdUINBYhWW
意義:本身已經下過雨,地面積水是提示,現時是進一步惡劣化環境氛圍,配合受害者情緒、情節張力以及恐怖生物的壓迫感,張力維持在一個點。166Please respect copyright.PENANAlI3E5jC7SD
166Please respect copyright.PENANArAUKjOHT3T
「吼㗒嚒——」<——「擬聲法」166Please respect copyright.PENANAs4HXsxKn4j
句字分析:威嚇,降服,釋放凶性,進食前的提示。166Please respect copyright.PENANAb8P9xdyr1E
166Please respect copyright.PENANA7HmxruOiyM
「——啊,別殺我!」166Please respect copyright.PENANArten7fT9AK
166Please respect copyright.PENANAVlo76RqeXp
「放過我放過我……」166Please respect copyright.PENANA365HZjLMr4
166Please respect copyright.PENANALMjCrdmvK1
「救——」166Please respect copyright.PENANA2nY9cI8kpL
意義:以上三句分開間隔,是想表達不止兩個人,而是更多的人,因為說話句子甚少,需要透過另類資訊讓讀者感覺到。最後一句「救——」,帶有絕望感,且在這個位置刻意不說完,強化了恐怖氛圍。166Please respect copyright.PENANA4XJ0xJ7Mf4
166Please respect copyright.PENANAlzbhvtXpSv
嘶咔啦——咔嘰咔嘰。<——「擬聲法」、「頭韻重複法」和「韻律效果」。166Please respect copyright.PENANAnGF2oTyK9E
咕嚕。166Please respect copyright.PENANA9yM5ShFMSH
句字分析:撕扯,撕碎,進食比較堅硬的食物,最後吞嚥。166Please respect copyright.PENANAXd9CYt6SZ7
意義:頭尾相連,將事件完全收束。166Please respect copyright.PENANAleT8JBLYSE
arrow_back
寫作練習挑戰《部分技巧限制》
more_vert
-
info_outline Info
-
toc Table of Contents
-
share Share
-
format_color_text Display Settings
-
exposure_plus_1 Recommend
-
Sponsor
-
report_problem Report
-
account_circle Login
Search stories, writers or societies
Continue ReadingClear All
What Others Are ReadingRefresh
X
Never miss what's happening on Penana!
寫作練習挑戰《部分技巧限制》
Published:
Mar 3, 2026
ENTRY #16
獸在身邊「詳細解釋技巧方法」、「內在意思」以及「嘗試幫自己評文」
Author:
阿鋒
Published:
Mar 3, 2026
5 Mins Read
1,438 Words
LIKES 11
READS 162
BOOKMARKS 8
Sponsor
Login with Facebook
or Sign up/Login to comment or bookmark! Click to load the next chapter
X
After each update request, the author will receive a notification!
smartphone100
→ Request update
X
Sponsor again
Click to login
Login first to show your name as a sponsor.
Thank you for supporting the story! :)
Please Login first.
×
Write down what you like about the story
×
Reading Theme:
Font Size:
Line Spacing:
Paragraph Spacing:
Load the next issue automatically
Reset to default
×
People Who Like This
x
Before You Publish
Please ensure your story does not contain illegal, hateful, inciting, or violence-promoting content, or any infringing, plagiarized, or spam material, and that it complies with Penana’s Terms of Use.
Penana reserves the right to remove any content that violates these rules or causes legal or community risk, and to suspend or terminate related accounts.

