咔嗤咔嗤—— <——此處運用了「頭韻重複法」和「擬聲法」。205Please respect copyright.PENANADkoKdi1unc
意義:透過重覆的「聲音」和「節奏」變化,讓文字在大聲朗讀時產生「顫動感」與「緊張感」。205Please respect copyright.PENANAJmOmjuawl8
205Please respect copyright.PENANA1UcLpZ0TTL
句字分析:「模擬『進食和啃嚼』。」205Please respect copyright.PENANAEBhOXnRj6E
理由:從一開始帶讀者進入現場環境,透過聲音讓讀者幾乎「聽到」場景中的恐怖動作,立刻有沉浸感,而且是通過被害人的視覺,讀者亦會聯想到口腔在活動。205Please respect copyright.PENANA0KLecbLDdV
205Please respect copyright.PENANAGD7QIONXpn
——咕嚕!<——這裡是「擬聲法」。205Please respect copyright.PENANAsgfYbuJPpu
205Please respect copyright.PENANAYFMmn61CFj
這裡同上面一樣,「讀音」有了明顯變化,「發音」和「節奏」都明顯改變了,同時形成不規律,卻有韻律效果的作用。205Please respect copyright.PENANAETq6hVNmpZ
205Please respect copyright.PENANAZz5FEKDwkp
意義:不規律即是跟前面的句子不一樣,就像呼吸有輕有重,自然形成節奏韻律。205Please respect copyright.PENANAmQfsyoX5f6
205Please respect copyright.PENANAquTkqpD2Qs
句字分析:「模擬『吞嚥』。」205Please respect copyright.PENANA7r1udN3kA2
理由:將進食感升華,帶入更恐怖的沉浸,亦是作為準備進入主題正餐的提前布置。205Please respect copyright.PENANAgaQJcGSFbU
205Please respect copyright.PENANAST7ZOsWyHd
悚然的啃嚼如蟻蟲嗤喀嗤喀的攀爬著大腿,攀爬著小腹。<——將「擬聲法」『啃嚼』和『嗤喀嗤喀』放入句子,加入「觸覺感官」。205Please respect copyright.PENANABjgOtDAZQn
205Please respect copyright.PENANAafco3LMIz3
意思:讓讀者進一步代入世界,亦是由短句轉換為長句,將節奏改變,打破規律的安排。(達成韻律效果和不要有規律的節拍。」205Please respect copyright.PENANAXse0BE0LSb
205Please respect copyright.PENANAUbJ5B8GZ7H
不要有規律的節拍的意思:「四個字、四個字、四個字和四個字」<——這種像詩或押韻以及可預測的節拍,就是不符合條件。205Please respect copyright.PENANAosDJ8qZ7Eb
205Please respect copyright.PENANAlztU6rWPE3
符合定義:「一個字、兩個字和三個字」或是「兩個字、四個字、一個字和三個字」,又可以是「短句、長句、長句、短句」這樣;沒有規律,沒法預測,節奏不斷改變,就像音樂或聲音,每個音符和發聲都有分別。205Please respect copyright.PENANAY2MjkuEcW3
205Please respect copyright.PENANAr3QaHyuTqY
「嗚……」孩童被捂住嘴。<——「擬聲法」和加入人物動作。205Please respect copyright.PENANAtoEfnAMKbg
句字分析:聲音被壓制,危險迫近,被害者通過觀察、聲音感受到害怕,恐怖生物就在附近。205Please respect copyright.PENANAkASIYOP2uR
205Please respect copyright.PENANAt9qJptPvxU
意義:加入視覺感官,正式由場景轉換為第一人稱,徹底將讀者拖入世界。205Please respect copyright.PENANA6yPBFAClQF
「別吵!」<———命令式語句。205Please respect copyright.PENANAwTH6rj5tle
句字分析:現場不止孩童一人,父母或其他大人也在,亦知道危機到來,恐懼,驚慌下作出捂住孩童嘴巴的動作。205Please respect copyright.PENANATaqZdMbCGm
205Please respect copyright.PENANAtTfC0m0FT4
坑坑洼洼的路面「噗哧㗳啦」的響動。<——「擬聲法」、場景和動作。205Please respect copyright.PENANAPUAQkPGxNr
沉重步伐咯㗳咯㗳的靠近。205Please respect copyright.PENANAifMoIZklf7
205Please respect copyright.PENANAyJ39pFaZBu
句字分析:凹凸不平的地面,積滿水坑,群體生物經過踐踏發出「噗哧㗳啦」聲響,生物身上有金屬成份或裝備,所以走路時發出「咯㗳咯㗳」的聲音。205Please respect copyright.PENANAcSKbwB3u85
意義:將視覺拉回場景,製造心理壓迫感,某種生物快要到了,高潮即將來臨。205Please respect copyright.PENANAoKBmMPOFpD
205Please respect copyright.PENANAiy7eYiI3z4
「哇呵哇呵—— 」 牠的咽喉傳出震音。<——「擬聲法」、「頭韻重複法」及動作。205Please respect copyright.PENANAKuLPBzNS1m
「哇呵依咯,喎依——喀,嘰嘰嘠噂嚒——」 牠們渾身抖動回應。<——「擬聲法」、「韻律效果」、「虛構的字或名字,方言等」和動作。205Please respect copyright.PENANAfiW6PkEhWk
205Please respect copyright.PENANARThLMxnqkn
句字分析:牠們在溝通,有智慧,興奮,發現食物等等潛在意思。205Please respect copyright.PENANAzUtS4K08Mo
205Please respect copyright.PENANAhd1Ps5eeyj
意義:透過陌生發音,釋放出另類資訊,例如這不是地球生物,而是異界生物,達成練習要求「虛構的字或名字,方言等」。205Please respect copyright.PENANAIY4NSL3KRk
205Please respect copyright.PENANAhqsgi3DI0j
「牠去了那裡?」<——普通句子。205Please respect copyright.PENANAlK4ynKhXVb
意義:拉回視覺,同時中斷節奏,降低張力,讓人有種危險已經遠離的錯覺,其實危險仍在,只是不知何時會出現,人們會聯想會不會出現?期待接下來會發生什麼,或者鬆一口氣。205Please respect copyright.PENANAint3glTsFn
205Please respect copyright.PENANAkJ7XEwp0dl
「——唦啦啦」<——「擬聲法」、「頭韻重複法」、「韻律效果」場景及動作。205Please respect copyright.PENANABJzgJYN9u0
髒兮兮的粗糙手指唰唰唰撥開枝葉。205Please respect copyright.PENANAPDZtzLaMUP
意義:轉折位,危險已經出現在眼前。「唰唰唰」擬聲詞放在句子裡,加重了視覺感和現場聲音,沉浸感即時放大,同時兼顧改變聲音發音,節奏沒有規律節拍。205Please respect copyright.PENANACrvcgKwHab
205Please respect copyright.PENANAs616RTyfMP
「嘶——」<——「擬聲法」,「短句與長句交錯」205Please respect copyright.PENANAuncxzk9emM
句字分析:在手指撥開枝葉後才出現,代表人們受到驚嚇時會發出的聲音,加入破折號後,便形成了尖銳或拖長的聲音。205Please respect copyright.PENANAZjqISUg2bJ
205Please respect copyright.PENANAbKNSNgt1bG
「達——莫薩。」<——「虛構的字或名字,方言等」205Please respect copyright.PENANAO8eM5QcEL8
句字分析:異界生物名稱或種族205Please respect copyright.PENANA9gVnRZH64x
205Please respect copyright.PENANAgXgnALfHOK
人們不禁發出呼嚕呼嚕的急促喘息。<——「擬聲法」、「頭韻重複法」。205Please respect copyright.PENANAFAm8pHatuw
止不住心跳「咚隆咚隆」!205Please respect copyright.PENANAlvkHOqJvwE
句子分析:生命受到威脅,呼吸急促205Please respect copyright.PENANAcTWJWzGUb1
意義:高潮爆發,張力頂點,情緒壓抑,壓迫感,兼顧劇情節奏起伏,過程中時高時低,甚至中斷,然後又重新到頂點。205Please respect copyright.PENANA7AmOj0WSiA
205Please respect copyright.PENANA5ZioCjkKl1
雨——<——單詞。205Please respect copyright.PENANACdbNz0mioT
「嘀嘀㗳啦嘠唦唦」。<——「擬聲法」和「韻律效果」。205Please respect copyright.PENANAnSGivh8NgP
意義:本身已經下過雨,地面積水是提示,現時是進一步惡劣化環境氛圍,配合受害者情緒、情節張力以及恐怖生物的壓迫感,張力維持在一個點。205Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZoIVDupxK
205Please respect copyright.PENANAunq6dXVScm
「吼㗒嚒——」<——「擬聲法」205Please respect copyright.PENANAkQ6kEpmr8i
句字分析:威嚇,降服,釋放凶性,進食前的提示。205Please respect copyright.PENANAcUdOpJ7LVp
205Please respect copyright.PENANA7KUw5SX3a0
「——啊,別殺我!」205Please respect copyright.PENANANmVxRwGtq2
205Please respect copyright.PENANA98jG9Q8KIj
「放過我放過我……」205Please respect copyright.PENANA49KRoziWYa
205Please respect copyright.PENANAMwYgPtEp60
「救——」205Please respect copyright.PENANATvb17Oin3Y
意義:以上三句分開間隔,是想表達不止兩個人,而是更多的人,因為說話句子甚少,需要透過另類資訊讓讀者感覺到。最後一句「救——」,帶有絕望感,且在這個位置刻意不說完,強化了恐怖氛圍。205Please respect copyright.PENANAPxeOU3Dd0k
205Please respect copyright.PENANANDcIA4UjNU
嘶咔啦——咔嘰咔嘰。<——「擬聲法」、「頭韻重複法」和「韻律效果」。205Please respect copyright.PENANAHuxy2ApWmJ
咕嚕。205Please respect copyright.PENANAZYci4QudgS
句字分析:撕扯,撕碎,進食比較堅硬的食物,最後吞嚥。205Please respect copyright.PENANAlsuumYE6tF
意義:頭尾相連,將事件完全收束。205Please respect copyright.PENANACB0V7FnTa3
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寫作練習挑戰《部分技巧限制》
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寫作練習挑戰《部分技巧限制》
Published:
Mar 3, 2026
ENTRY #16
獸在身邊「詳細解釋技巧方法」、「內在意思」以及「嘗試幫自己評文」
Author:
阿鋒
Published:
Mar 3, 2026
5 Mins Read
1,438 Words
LIKES 11
READS 201
BOOKMARKS 8
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