The ballroom was a scene of pure chaos. The Beholders, massive floating orbs of flesh and malice, hovered over the petrified nobility. Their central eyes glowed with a sickly green light, preparing to turn the entire Royal Court into garden statues.
King Reginald grabbed his shield, but his legs were frozen in fear. Prince Alistair was currently curled into a ball under the buffet table, clutching a silk napkin and sobbing about how he hadn't finished his skincare routine.
"Luna!" Alistair wailed from under the tablecloth. "Do the thing! The 'stop-them-from-eating-me' thing!"
Luna stepped into the center of the hall. The "Perception Filter" was gone. She stood in the light, her Rank F uniform wrinkled and her hair messy, looking utterly exhausted.
One of the Beholders turned its gaze toward her, a beam of petrification shooting from its eye.
Luna didn't move. She didn't even blink. As the beam hit her, it simply… dissolved.
"My turn," she said.
She raised her right hand, her fingers forming a simple snapping motion.
"Universal Erasure: Void Pulse."
SNAP.
There was no explosion. No fire. Just a ripple in the air, like a pebble dropped into a still pond. Every single monster in the room—and the army outside the windows—simply vanished. They didn't die; they were unmade. One moment they were there, and the next, there was only empty space and a few floating purple particles.
The silence that followed was heavy. The King stared. The Queen stared. The Headmaster, watching from the doorway, simply leaned against the wall and exhaled, knowing his secret was out.
Alistair poked his head out from under the table. "Is it… is it over? Did I do it? Did my crying distract them?"
Luna looked down at him. "Get up, Alistair. You have mustard on your knees."
The Royal Proposal
Ten minutes later, the hall had been cleared of debris. The King and Queen stood before Luna, their expressions a mix of terror and awe.
"Young lady," King Reginald said, his voice trembling. "You have saved our lives. You have saved the kingdom. Your power is… it is beyond anything we have ever seen. You are clearly a Goddess in human form."
The Queen stepped forward, her eyes gleaming with a sudden, "brilliant" idea. "And for such a legendary hero, only the greatest prize will suffice! Luna Johnson, we officially offer you the hand of our son, Prince Alistair, in marriage! You shall be the future Queen!"
Alistair stood up, suddenly remembering he was supposed to be "handsome." He puffed out his chest and tried to look noble, despite the fact that his crown was crooked and his eyes were red from weeping.
"Yes!" Alistair beamed, looking at Luna. "I suppose I can make room for you in my palace. I'll even let you use my second-best hairbrush!"
The entire court waited. This was the moment every Wattpad story led to. The commoner girl marrying the Prince.
Luna stared at the King. Then at the Queen. Then at Alistair, who was currently trying to wipe a snot-stain off his sleeve.
"No thanks," Luna said. "I'm good."
The King’s jaw dropped. "I… I beg your pardon?"
"How dare you!" the Queen gasped. "He is the smartest, most handsome man in the realm! He is a prodigy! He is—"
"He’s a loser," Luna interrupted, her voice flat and bored.
The room gasped so loudly it sounded like a vacuum.
"He can't open a paper bag," Luna continued, counting on her fingers. "He cried for twenty minutes because a hotdog touched the floor. He tried to eat that same hotdog with a silver fork and spoon because he’s afraid of 'greasy thumbs.' He spent the entire battle under a table crying for his mommy."
"But… but his magic!" the King spluttered.
"That was me," Luna said. "Every bit of it. He’s about as magical as a wet piece of toast. Actually, that’s an insult to toast. Toast is useful."
Alistair’s face turned a shade of red that shouldn't be possible for a human. "Luna! How could you?! I thought we had a… a 'Shadow Bond'!"
"We had a deal," Luna corrected. "And the deal is over. I saved your life, I saved the kingdom, and now I’m going back to my dorm to take a four-day nap. Don't call me. Don't send me flowers. And for the love of the Gods, learn how to use a napkin."
Luna turned around and began walking toward the exit.
"Wait!" the King shouted. "Where are you going? You’re the strongest mage in history! We need you!"
"I’m going to go see the Headmaster," Luna’s voice drifted back as she faded into the shadows once more. "He owes me a lifetime supply of chocolate pudding and a new 'Perception Filter.' I’ve had enough of being seen for one day."
As the heavy oak doors creaked open for her, Alistair fell to his knees again, waailing into his silk handkerchief. "She called me a loser! WAAAAAAH! And she's right! I AM A LOSEEEER!"
Luna smiled to herself as the doors closed. The kingdom was safe, the Prince was humbled, and best of all?
It was finally quiet.
The End
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