可惜,外星人顯然沒有接收到五皇子的腦電波求救。13Please respect copyright.PENANAAu5RIWs2Xf
13Please respect copyright.PENANAIUrVz1pTVJ
隨著李思瑤高跟鞋敲擊地面的「喀噠」聲徹底消失在通道盡頭,那股猶如實質般的鑽石級威壓終於完全消散。場館遠處不知哪個角落傳來一聲羽毛球擊中拍框的「啪」聲,將這片死寂的空間瞬間拉回了現實。13Please respect copyright.PENANA6xniOO2qhW
13Please respect copyright.PENANANSk88FxWAR
但對劉信來說,現實往往比老媽的威壓還要殘酷。
在他右邊不到五十公分的地方,那個「全宇宙最大的麻煩」正死死地盯著他。13Please respect copyright.PENANA3qOWeefFri
13Please respect copyright.PENANAFH0U59uKP0
這位平時在學校裡總是一副精明幹練的校園女神,此刻雙手緊緊絞著制服裙襬,骨節泛白。洛寒櫻那張白皙漂亮的臉蛋,從耳根一路紅到了脖子,彷彿全身的血液都在這一刻沸騰了起來。左眼下方那顆小小的淚痣,因為她劇烈的心跳和微弱的喘息,正在微微地顫動。
她沒有說話,只是一瞬也不瞬地看著劉信。那雙漂亮的眼睛裡,閃爍著某種極度危險、名為「期待」的光芒。
剛才因為老媽離去而稍微平息的胃痙攣,此刻又像是有個黑鐵級的土系法師在他的腸胃裡瘋狂施放「地刺術」一樣,翻攪得更加劇烈。13Please respect copyright.PENANAXSTDMH1fHI
13Please respect copyright.PENANAwMd9dynDxf
逃不掉。裝死也沒用。13Please respect copyright.PENANArtobiLM090
13Please respect copyright.PENANAT9mlNuwR72
劉信深吸了一口氣,又緩緩吐出。13Please respect copyright.PENANAy5CcSgzOdc
13Please respect copyright.PENANAM9A1R0fFD6
「靠……」13Please respect copyright.PENANAhqSiB5cSAH
13Please respect copyright.PENANAxiMhPOx1dg
他在心裡暗罵了一聲。身為一個信奉「節能主義」、勵志當一條完美魔法鹹魚的胎穿者,他這輩子最討厭的兩件事:第一是流汗,第二就是麻煩。13Please respect copyright.PENANANCP0I4E5LQ
13Please respect copyright.PENANADXrmgBu3bY
而現在,這個足以改變人生軌跡的宇宙級大麻煩,正等著他給出一個答案。13Please respect copyright.PENANAJeKGZMj10S
13Please respect copyright.PENANAueBYbDt8Zq
「這簡直比讓我連續跟十隻狂暴的炎魔肉搏還要折壽……」13Please respect copyright.PENANAhe1RWHrkKR
13Please respect copyright.PENANAzK9pwCwTOt
劉信終於動了。13Please respect copyright.PENANAQlzHu9yVSt
13Please respect copyright.PENANAE4btSkdsss
他沒有立刻轉頭去看洛寒櫻,而是猛地抬起雙手,十根手指直接插進了自己那一頭被冷汗浸濕的銀白色碎髮裡,然後——瘋狂地、毫無形象地用力一頓亂抓!13Please respect copyright.PENANASkUq6fEiuL
13Please respect copyright.PENANA1hcupMVBX6
「沙沙沙——」13Please respect copyright.PENANAKtxXQrxze2
13Please respect copyright.PENANACmfbLC2O07
幾秒鐘後,原本那個霸氣側漏的「大背頭」徹底宣告陣亡,變成了一個充滿頹廢與崩潰氣息的銀色鳥巢。幾根不安分的呆毛在頭頂倔強地翹著,彷彿在抗議主人粗暴的對待。13Please respect copyright.PENANAGlfR4FnDRd
13Please respect copyright.PENANAPmzjQyGSXJ
洛寒櫻被他這突如其來的自毀形象舉動嚇了一跳,原本滿腔的粉紅泡泡瞬間停滯了一下,粉紫色的長髮微微一晃:「劉、劉信學弟……你怎麼了?」13Please respect copyright.PENANABZC15Y4uWX
13Please respect copyright.PENANAHzvNwuDZbr
劉信停下抓頭髮的動作,雙手無力地垂落在大腿上。他轉過頭,用一種彷彿剛加了三天三夜班、靈魂都被抽乾的死魚眼看著洛寒櫻。13Please respect copyright.PENANAPhYrLQUo15
13Please respect copyright.PENANAhOzGPPulN2
緊接著,他嘆了一口氣。13Please respect copyright.PENANAa3hQRghCZ2
13Please respect copyright.PENANApHPnOcIZUe
那一聲嘆息,深沉、悠長、充滿了對這個不講理世界的無奈,簡直比八十歲老頭回憶起初戀時的嘆息還要滄桑。13Please respect copyright.PENANAmy2yv3jOpO
13Please respect copyright.PENANAfwl6RvdPa9
「學姊……」劉信的聲音沙啞得像是吞了一把沙子。13Please respect copyright.PENANAHK6Y1J4uli
13Please respect copyright.PENANAtKbzpg3jBK
洛寒櫻下意識地站直了身體,像個等待教官訓話的新兵,連呼吸都屏住了:「在!」13Please respect copyright.PENANAMlpJNOhCbW
13Please respect copyright.PENANAc0cVWuL0Qi
「妳知道……」劉信指了指自己的腦袋,又指了指心臟的位置,語氣裡充滿了一種近乎科學探究般的嚴肅,「處理『感情』這種高維度的複雜問題,需要消耗人體多少卡路里跟腦細胞嗎?」13Please respect copyright.PENANAYtqEO5RsF2
13Please respect copyright.PENANA3p5AcF6pLS
「……蛤?」13Please respect copyright.PENANAyMOKNz06E4
13Please respect copyright.PENANAl45KonGrAn
洛寒櫻愣住了。她那顆聰明的小腦袋瓜在這一瞬間徹底當機。她設想過無數種劉信的回答:可能會紅著臉答應,可能會結結巴巴地拒絕,甚至可能會像剛才一樣繼續裝傻充愣。13Please respect copyright.PENANAsgBWROLJ88
13Please respect copyright.PENANA1fve55nQh1
但她萬萬沒想到,這個傢伙開口第一句話,居然是在跟她探討熱量消耗和神經元死亡率?!13Please respect copyright.PENANAIGNvKMQ97n
13Please respect copyright.PENANA4wl7vzcwQ9
「根據我不嚴謹的估算。」劉信沒有理會洛寒櫻的呆滯,自顧自地繼續說道,語氣甚至帶上了一點咬牙切齒的意味,「從分析妳剛才那句話的潛台詞,到評估我們未來的相處模式,再到模擬老媽介入後可能引發的家庭政治風暴……這一系列運算,至少會燒掉我大腦皮層百分之三十的活躍神經元,順便消耗掉我三天份的基礎代謝熱量。」
洛寒櫻張著嘴,左眼下的淚痣跟著嘴角一起抽搐了一下:「你、你在胡說八道什麼……」13Please respect copyright.PENANAEtuvc3eCO5
13Please respect copyright.PENANAxAhxGKUgy2
「我沒有胡說。」劉信猛地站起身。13Please respect copyright.PENANAgTiwMMvNIx
13Please respect copyright.PENANACa8FXtqHMS
他沒有去看洛寒櫻那張不知所措的臉,而是彎下腰,單手抓住了那只裝著「山銅戰鎚」的漆黑皮箱把手。13Please respect copyright.PENANAefdLQuCOI4
13Please respect copyright.PENANAu6zjUeZcXZ
「喀啦」一聲,沉重的皮箱被他毫不費力地拎了起來。13Please respect copyright.PENANAIxcQ4tqhtC
13Please respect copyright.PENANA0UJX3aCrYf
他轉過身,居高臨下地看著洛寒櫻。此時的他,一頭鳥巢般的亂髮,身上穿著那件印著狂草「五皇子」的吊嘎,看起來活像個剛從不良少年收容所逃出來的混混。13Please respect copyright.PENANAHC56ySKdcG
13Please respect copyright.PENANAUTWIhke9FF
但是,他那一紫一黑的異色瞳裡,原本那種隨時都在放空的慵懶消失了。取而代之的,是一種極度內斂、卻又讓人無法忽視的認真。13Please respect copyright.PENANAIDyHaIGxLp
13Please respect copyright.PENANA1skzyjyTI3
那種眼神,就像是一頭平時都在打瞌睡的獅子,終於決定睜開眼睛,正視眼前的事物。13Please respect copyright.PENANAuia5HC9oWM
13Please respect copyright.PENANAAkTVup5g6a
洛寒櫻的心跳猛地漏了一拍。她突然感覺到,周圍的空氣似乎變得有些黏稠。13Please respect copyright.PENANAgNla3WOmPR
13Please respect copyright.PENANAIwAbeRTxxE
「學姊。」劉信的聲音不再沙啞,恢復了平時那種帶著一絲慵懶的清冷,「等我把這該死的校慶比賽全部打完。」13Please respect copyright.PENANAn4job1yoj3
13Please respect copyright.PENANAxbmKxgq9iv
洛寒櫻微微仰起頭,看著他。13Please respect copyright.PENANA1CyxIdnd9s
13Please respect copyright.PENANAEXIzZhWCpa
「在那之前……」劉信的目光直直地撞進她的眼底,沒有閃避,也沒有退縮,「我的腦容量,真的不允許我分心去思考這麼複雜的宇宙難題。」
這句話表面上聽起來,就像是一個無賴在用最爛的藉口拖延時間。13Please respect copyright.PENANAuFiDcISpn9
13Please respect copyright.PENANA6rjlYKEU4c
但在洛寒櫻這樣精明的女孩耳朵裡,這句話經過她大腦的自動解碼,瞬間變成了一句震耳欲聾的宣告。13Please respect copyright.PENANAyACPEwvE9q
13Please respect copyright.PENANA3Q9QjOVZAJ
——因為這件事太重要了,重要到我不能隨便敷衍妳,所以我必須等解決完眼前所有雜事後,全心全意地來處理它。13Please respect copyright.PENANAobWl8YvvmY
13Please respect copyright.PENANAyFpnNMYbTv
——我把你放在了,需要我清空大腦去認真思考的重要位置。13Please respect copyright.PENANAIhX1oKggXh
13Please respect copyright.PENANANop3AHcKVn
洛寒櫻的瞳孔猛地放大。原本因為緊張而泛白的指尖,瞬間湧上一股溫暖的熱流。她感覺自己的心臟像是一台裝了渦輪增壓的引擎,正在胸腔裡發出震耳欲聾的轟鳴。13Please respect copyright.PENANAIpUkGuPpfH
13Please respect copyright.PENANAbQ5VbKONzR
「你……」洛寒櫻張了張嘴,聲音有些發抖。13Please respect copyright.PENANA6GMwaEI29y
13Please respect copyright.PENANA7gd7kQm11v
但她只來得及說出一個字。13Please respect copyright.PENANAa0elV42fFa
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因為就在下一個瞬間,劉信動了。13Please respect copyright.PENANAAILCs9gnbj
13Please respect copyright.PENANA2vaqjn5mCf
不是普通的轉身離開,而是字面意義上的——「腳底抹油」。13Please respect copyright.PENANAYXzJFLhpSk
13Please respect copyright.PENANAwjNio4Pv7b
「呲啦——!」13Please respect copyright.PENANAdcPryj0OTb
13Please respect copyright.PENANAiGTQG4kKhI
一聲尖銳刺耳的電流爆裂聲在劉信的腳底炸開。13Please respect copyright.PENANAL3nVMNQoOs
13Please respect copyright.PENANAMuGSmfXtPq
耀眼的藍白色雷光瞬間纏繞上他的黑色運動鞋。那不是用來攻擊的魔法,而是極端暴力的「雷元素肌肉刺激」加上「局部雷爆加速」。13Please respect copyright.PENANAH1xr5wazLi
13Please respect copyright.PENANAffVIBNajHY
塑膠鞋底與地板劇烈摩擦,空氣中瞬間瀰漫起一股刺鼻的焦膠味混雜著臭氧的氣息。13Please respect copyright.PENANAjyyfje1zl9
13Please respect copyright.PENANAJS9G9Q0Lly
「砰!」13Please respect copyright.PENANAsmY18RcFzB
13Please respect copyright.PENANAn1baRKv6s4
劉信原本站立的地方,只剩下一個被雷電高溫烤得微微發黑的腳印。而他整個人,已經化作一道模糊的銀色殘影,以一種連白銀級風系法師都要汗顏的恐怖速度,朝著羽毛球館的大門狂飆而去。13Please respect copyright.PENANAmWgRNgzabu
13Please respect copyright.PENANAXjAwJUrmde
「我先撤了!下午還有比賽!再見!」13Please respect copyright.PENANAXsj0c0hkbM
13Please respect copyright.PENANAAR31xyaPaQ
一句飄忽不定的吼聲從十幾公尺外傳來,尾音還帶著一點落荒而逃的破音。13Please respect copyright.PENANAkeOzWaSeDL
13Please respect copyright.PENANAVpqsBCfXa0
「砰!」大門被粗暴地撞開,那道銀色的人形閃電頭也不回地消失在了門外的陽光中,只留下一陣在館內迴盪的狂風。13Please respect copyright.PENANAhatlKrCulI
13Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2hpvKfxdh
洛寒櫻呆呆地站在原地,看著空蕩蕩的門口,又低頭看了看地上那個焦黑的腳印。13Please respect copyright.PENANAgW6zhcbBQ7
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幾秒鐘後。13Please respect copyright.PENANAEGTxrMcFj3
13Please respect copyright.PENANAVkVyvcNedg
「噗……」13Please respect copyright.PENANA4J1JPlPfMj
13Please respect copyright.PENANAevTuxvojmF
她猛地抬起雙手,死死地捂住自己的臉。但那從指縫間漏出來的悶笑聲,卻怎麼也掩飾不住。13Please respect copyright.PENANAsYZWmOU2TQ
13Please respect copyright.PENANAbIddzZEauY
她的肩膀微微抽動著,原本充滿攻擊性的影子也溫順地縮回了腳下。雖然被一個人用雷系魔法當面逃跑感覺很蠢,但她的嘴角,卻已經不受控制地瘋狂上揚,彎成了一個甜度爆表的弧度。13Please respect copyright.PENANAt5SDoz2Liw
13Please respect copyright.PENANAdLBPwYKyRQ
「真是個……無可救藥的笨蛋。」13Please respect copyright.PENANAmdlacp7aaK
13Please respect copyright.PENANAGQNy6K4oW3
洛寒櫻輕聲嘟囔著,左眼下的淚痣在陽光下閃爍著狡黠的光芒。13Please respect copyright.PENANAslqdhqCHGe
13Please respect copyright.PENANAEwmIqwfj7G
「不過,我等你。把比賽打完喔,五皇子殿下。」13Please respect copyright.PENANA7f8MxfVZA4
13Please respect copyright.PENANAs4aRnSuPOO
與此同時。13Please respect copyright.PENANAtDxWo7AUPu
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距離校慶會場約莫兩公里外,一條車水馬龍的十字路口旁。13Please respect copyright.PENANALRz6GC57LF
13Please respect copyright.PENANAAzt9kvPNHw
一間名為「炎黃第一搖」的手搖飲店前,停著一輛計程車。計程車的後車窗搖下了一半,兩顆腦袋正鬼鬼祟祟地探在窗邊,望著學校的方向。13Please respect copyright.PENANAzCHwJHcQ05
13Please respect copyright.PENANAZkzBs2Plsi
「呼嚕嚕嚕嚕——」13Please respect copyright.PENANABPo7fPA8zu
13Please respect copyright.PENANAM5tnfvp4lB
李偉猛地吸了一大口杯底的珍珠,把腮幫子撐得像隻囤食的倉鼠。他艱難地咀嚼著,額頭上還掛著因為狂奔而冒出的豆大汗珠。13Please respect copyright.PENANAxmmsGdiIjr
13Please respect copyright.PENANAG3ymZOBceY
「咕咚。」李偉把珍珠嚥下去,轉頭看向坐在旁邊、正戴著一副騷包的黑色墨鏡、手裡同樣捧著一杯飲料的二皇子劉龍君。13Please respect copyright.PENANAwd86fYEqUO
13Please respect copyright.PENANARtPgq5688G
「二殿下……」李偉的聲音裡帶著一絲掩飾不住的顫抖與敬畏,「你覺得,五皇子他現在……還有全屍嗎?」13Please respect copyright.PENANAUmRFtSbDN5
13Please respect copyright.PENANAbJv329ABVQ
回想起剛才在觀眾席上,皇后李思瑤無意間洩露出的那絲鑽石級空間扭曲,李偉就覺得自己的靈魂彷彿被放進果汁機裡攪拌了一輪。那種級別的修羅場,根本不是人類能生存的環境。13Please respect copyright.PENANAdoKI7fSpWp
13Please respect copyright.PENANAPdEJtkud6Q
劉龍君沒有立刻回答。13Please respect copyright.PENANAvGHt5RkGx3
13Please respect copyright.PENANAAoki2fDY8M
他優雅地咬著吸管,深吸了一口氣。墨鏡倒映著街對面的紅綠燈,讓人看不清他此刻的眼神。13Please respect copyright.PENANAMBYN6Vqguj
13Please respect copyright.PENANAErHM42R7VR
身為一個黃金級法師,同時也是炎黃帝國負責處理各種麻煩事的二皇子,劉龍君的字典裡本來沒有「逃跑」這個詞。但在面對自己那個生氣起來連父皇都要退避三舍的親生母親時,他的求生欲瞬間戰勝了所有的皇室尊嚴。13Please respect copyright.PENANAXMF6rEKxmq
13Please respect copyright.PENANAY42sfazVTu
「難說。」劉龍君推了一下鼻樑上的墨鏡,語氣深沉得像是在發表陣亡將士悼詞,「李偉啊,你不懂。母后那一手『聖光制裁』加上『天雷引』的複合魔法,在當年可是被稱為『連靈魂都能一起物理淨化』的絕對禁咒。阿信雖然皮糙肉厚,但面對這種針對靈魂的打擊……」13Please respect copyright.PENANAWtcDnQMWe2
13Please respect copyright.PENANAS9aynlHiPP
劉龍君搖了搖頭,雙手合十,對著學校的方向做了一個極其虔誠的祈禱姿勢。13Please respect copyright.PENANAAHTSASLPpI
13Please respect copyright.PENANA3P0CBD1P7g
「願魔力與他同在。希望母后下手的時候,能看在他好歹也是親生的份上,給他留一條完整的內褲。」13Please respect copyright.PENANAj7M10NqeOS
13Please respect copyright.PENANA7sZxwWdXZ3
李偉聽得冷汗直冒,胃裡剛喝下去的珍珠奶茶彷彿都結成了冰塊。他跟著雙手合十,在胸前胡亂畫了個十字(雖然他根本不知道這是什麼宗教的手勢):「阿信,兄弟對不起你。如果你真的不幸被淨化了,明年今天,我一定會帶著你最愛的起司漢堡去祭拜你的。」13Please respect copyright.PENANArg6pCYvQcB
13Please respect copyright.PENANAj24qgOvcFm
兩人對著學校的方向默哀了三秒鐘。13Please respect copyright.PENANA5OrwbdblW8
13Please respect copyright.PENANAj5fQOpM5Lo
隨後,劉龍君放下手,轉頭看向車窗外那個正在擦汗的飲料店老闆。13Please respect copyright.PENANAg4GhvYu5jU
13Please respect copyright.PENANAVPBNcaL6cZ
「老闆!」劉龍君中氣十足地喊道。13Please respect copyright.PENANAdtbK5TXTVv
13Please respect copyright.PENANAxNmDqb6oBl
「欸!來了!客人還要點什麼?」老闆熱情地湊過來。13Please respect copyright.PENANAmnyjYY8AQH
13Please respect copyright.PENANAnwUn1cnX6S
劉龍君摘下墨鏡,露出那張帥氣但此刻寫滿了「心有餘悸」的臉龐,豪氣干雲地一揮手。13Please respect copyright.PENANATdML5dvRJ1
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「再來兩杯大杯的黑糖珍珠鮮奶!全糖!微冰!珍珠加倍!」13Please respect copyright.PENANAFVUrDJhKoA
13Please respect copyright.PENANAFVhEtvA6s8
說完,他轉頭拍了拍李偉肉嘟嘟的肩膀,長長地吐出一口濁氣。13Please respect copyright.PENANAv7D5QMxVLT
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「太可怕了,那種氣場真的太可怕了。兄弟,我們需要更多的糖分來修復受損的神經細胞。來,喝點甜的,壓壓驚!」13Please respect copyright.PENANAOMmIq6J1VM
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「二殿下英明!」李偉用力地點頭,深表贊同。13Please respect copyright.PENANAiCl1znbxIx
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計程車裡,兩個剛剛拋棄了兄弟的「戰術撤退者」,在滿滿的罪惡感與劫後餘生的慶幸中,愉快地等待著他們的高熱量續命水。13Please respect copyright.PENANAuUY5K0QZDZ
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