Shaking In The Chasm

"A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life" ~~Andrew Matthews

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When people ask me what is the most difficult part of passing an interview, is it the before, the beginning or the end? I usually answer all of it, the before, the beginning and the end.

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A look of panic rested on my face at the number of people present for the interview. Are they also pursuing the same post? Its surprising, why? Because they look more grace and poised unlike me who could barely hold my shit together. Well am here now and there is no way am backing down regardless of the outcome.

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A girl looking to be in her early twenties rushed out of the office in tears adjusting her short skirts and fixing up her tight shirt but finding it difficult to cover her exposed boobs, wiping off her smudged red lip sticks, her cheeks was teary stained with dark mascara. I could already tell something was up with the fake smile she plastered on her face and the thin thread of confidence she was hanging unto.

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"Are you alright?"

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A dude seated beside me asked resting his elbow on his lap. That was when i noticed my butt was on the edge of my seat and i was subconsciously biting my finger nails as well.

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I threw him a glare that showed the level of anger within me. Why was i angry at him?

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1. Because i was about to use the rest room as an excuse of going after her.

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2. In the process, i could take the opportunity to loosen up a bit and release the tension in me.

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3. I will probably get her into revealing what happened in there, am afraid the rumors about the CEO may be somewhat true.

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Will that be possible?

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Nope.

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Why?

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Because he did not just ask me but also gripped my hands when he figured i was going to ignore his question and go after her.

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To me, his question was practically meaningless in this situation. Since he is a sympathiser, shouldn't he be asking her that than me? Wouldn't it be best to not do anything if you will end up doing it wrong?

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Am Daniel by the way.

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Harper i said forcefully through my nose.

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You seem mad at me for distracting yo-

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I huffed, flashing him my teeth, is it confession time or some sorts i asked him sinking in my chair? He sighed, folding his file into two before tucking it into his black laptop bag. I realized he was just as frantic as i was.

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Are yo-

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I feel sorry for him, if only he knows giving him a response would be nasty as waking up with a morning breath. I did him a favour of swallowing it all in while i can. Furrowing my brows together, i unfolded the small piece of crumbled paper in my hand glancing through the questions and answers i jotted down from the internet last night from the top to the bottom.

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Is that yours?

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He was referring to my paper. No is it yours? I countered back in a sassy manner, not expecting a reply from him.

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But he proved me wrong with his immediate response.

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Of course not he said in a friendly manner.

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Oh!!! i just remembered its mine i said folding in the edges, sounding stupid with my response. Everything he was doing was making me look more like a baby but who cares about all that shit? He shook his head at me, how is he still so calm even after i snapped at him.

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What do you plan on doing with what's written in it?

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If am able to memorize all, i plan on downloading all of the answers in my head in there, if any of the questions tallies with what i have my voice imbue out a response.

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His eyes flicked up to me amusingly, you are one hell of a strange lady.

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So they say.

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Who says?

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Everyone that have crossed my path.

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Sounds interesting, let me let you in on something jolly but, only if you are interested he voiced, surrendering his hands in the air.

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Jolly?

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Yea jolly.

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Do you know the most exciting thing about interview?

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Since stepping into the building, my whole body has been swallowed in tension, all thanks to Daniel the anxiety in my lungs was diminishing with our unwanted little chit chat.

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My instinct told me the reason for his jolly question has something to do with my crumpled paper and i wanted badly to tell him that, although some study shows the efficacy of learning through pictures and words than connecting the dots but, i choose the other way around.

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But i remained composed. That didn't stop me from repeating the crammed answers in my head while having a conversation with Daniel, trying my best to link them all with certain things or faces to help me remember them.

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What do you mean i asked softly, pushing my bag to my chest and staring at the porcelain clock on the wall ticking. Have never seen a clock run so fast not even on days when am having those boring lectures and praying for the bell to go off.

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The most exciting thing about interviews is that, you don't need to prepare to emerge as the best. All you need to do is lie and, it becomes more exciting when most of the lie comes with a problem you alone single handedly fix.

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I winced at his train of advice, my eyes darted to the files that had his documents protruding out of the bag. Adele mentioned the same thing to me before i left in the early hours of the morning.

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Its fun to hint them on troubles encountered he continued but i blocked the rest of his gibberish out. Am not going to lie simply because i want this job, i have managed to sustain taking care of myself living a holy life up until now. So am not going to deviate on that path.

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I managed to successfully hide my distaste towards his sense of reasoning before asking if anything in his file was real. He pulled his hands back to his chest faking to be hurt, then placing his index finger on his lips before cracking up a laugh.

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It always great to hook your interviewer instantly he voiced. The secretary came out of the office looking pissed, She kept rolling her eyes at me, nodding here and there, i didn't like it at all.

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Alarm bells starts ringing in my head on what could have been the trigger to her rolling her eyes at me. I start to panic thinking that just maybe i did something accidentally out of place and now she spites me.

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"Harper Merrill" my name echoed.

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He nudged my sides to a certain something or someone i guess. I was hesitant to respond yet i nodded without hearing a thing he said after he nudged me. He recognized i was lost somewhere in my head, his fingers snapped and mine twitched before he pinched my right hand lightly to get my consciousness back.

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'Miss Merrill', the secretary shouted.

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I nearly jumped out of my skin from how loud she was, there is nothing scarier than having someone gaze at you with so much hatred in her eyes. I titled my head for her to go on.

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You may go in now she said one by one spacing her words.

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I'm shocked and overwhelmed not by her attitude but at what awaits me in there, shouldn't i be the last person to go in judging at the order of arrival. That explains why she kept rolling her eyes at me, she thinks i bought my way in.

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I picked up my bag and glared at her before walking towards the door knocking. Come in, he said.

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