the diary of the person beside you. - Death?

I wish to die while dreaming of warmth and happiness. I wish to die with a smile on my face, with absolute contempt and peace.

I wish to die in peace.

I wish that after I die people won't be ruefully for too long. I wish they'd rather cherish memories with me and move on.

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I think now that I've found things I can lose, the world seems more dangerous. Most of the time I feel helpless. Like a sapling watching a tree fall. No one would touch the sapling for it has yet to grow, but the sapling knows in a way that its future will hold similar to the tree.

Now dead and rotting.

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I am that sapling. The world is my tree. I accept the truth and still fear it slightly.

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The pain I feel from others when they lose someone feels as though someone ripped my heart out and twisted my guts.

I think it's that pain I ultimately fear.

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