I wonder at times.
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Despite everything I have made myself believe.
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Can I really find someone for me?
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Someone who will sit next to me and wrap their arms around me.
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Stay that way even as I kick and scratch and fight the affection they offer me. They aren't mistaken in the slightest by this, they know I bite not because I am violent, but because that was how I survived.
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So even as they bleed and I cry they wipe my tears and hold me tighter, until my jaw is slack against their flesh, until their love flows into me and thaws what is left of my heart.
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Someone who will nuzzle into my neck and smile at my touch despite everything, as though I was their salvation.
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Someone who would love me like they were born to do so. A love as written into the universe as the course of the sun.
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For small moments I find myself dreaming.
And then I open my eyes. I pick myself up and walk down my path.
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And I keep walking. Stumbling and tripping.
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Alone.
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and then Add to home screen.