A week later I was sitting beside you in your car to get to the concert. Liam said he had someone to get, that he had his reasons.
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I was a little taken aback that he was bringing over a girl. But I was happy for him. I'd rather have it be only me carrying the burden of our guilt. I wished the boys would grow out of this pain we had cradled till now, I wish they would fly the same way all four of us had dreamed once.
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Liam had offered to come along with me, and I had given him a funny smile as I walked down the route to the nearby subway. I had told him to be the gentleman I had taught him to be and go pick up that girl.
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I hadn't given him a chance to respond, but I did notice the stark red that seemed to be colouring the tips of his ears.
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Besides, I would have gotten some extra time with you.
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I had turned up at your door, half an hour later. You had beamed up at me, already ready. Your absolutely adorable blue satin dress, that came just above your knees.
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“Im so glad you came over! I was panicking about the dress, I mean I've never been to places like this, you know!” and you went on a rant about how stressful your afternoon had been. I was settled on your couch with you waving your hands as you stood before me.
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Perhaps it was because I would be leaving soon, I had this urge to gently pull you into my lap. I had reached my hand out, unconsciously. Toward your waist.
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Around your waist.
Hovering not a hair’s breadth away.
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I had buried my face in my hands instead. “You look ethereal, angel.” I had said, it had come out strained from the absolute sheer restraint I was using to stop myself from closing the proximity between us.
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“Be honest.” you had frowned down at me, putting your hand on your hips.
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I couldn't help it.
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I had reached out and taken your hand, as careful as a painter finishing their last strokes of perfection. I had hooked my pinky in yours.
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“I promise. Too perfect even. I'm sure you'll be distracting everyone in the room the second you step in.”
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You had blushed furiously.
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“Dont be silly, Naia.” you had said shaking our hands where they were linked.
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“But that doesn't matter, angel. I can fight.”
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There was a beat of silence before you had burst out laughing. “That movie-” you wheezed out, and heat had climbed up my cheeks. “Yeah yeah,” I had said, getting up and loosening the pearl clip on the side of your head. “I stole it from that crappy chick flick we watched, sue me.”
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You had almost doubled over laughing at my pathetic flirting skill, I had to catch you by your shoulders before you face planted.
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Do you remember angel?
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The drive there was filled with non stop chattering. Laughing till tears filled your eyes. Laughing till you reached over to smack my arm to shut me up.
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We had taken the corner booth at the club.
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Ordered something simple like fries, cause you weren't hungry.
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The band had come out and I had tapped on the table between us, grabbing your attention and pulling it away from your fascination with the lighting of the room. You had said it looked so much like your fathers description of fairies.
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“Do they look like fairies? Naia, do they actually look like fairies?” you had slid your hand forward on the wood separating us till you had found my hand. You had wrapped your hand around mine and shook it.
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I had looked around above us, and had seen the large chandelier with colour glass hanging considerably low in the center of the club.
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“It's a normal chandelier.” I had told you, and you had begun to pull your hand from mine. Calling yourself silly for getting so excited over nothing, a pink embarrassment had powered your cheeks.
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I had grabbed your hand that was leaving mine before you could pull your hand back all the way. “It's boring the way I see it.” I had told you, “The way you see it sounds so much more fun.” I had squeezed your hand in mine, then left it to hook our pinkies together.
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“Tell me more about what you see.”
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You had sat there, munching down fries, talking with a full mouth. On occasion I would reach out and swipe a tissue over the extra grease that had gotten over the corner of your mouth. You would thank me, giving me such a sweet smile, it would make me want to kiss the ground you walk on, and thank every star that aligned to make you exist.
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Thank god, I had told myself, thank god you like it. Thank god you're enjoying yourself.
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Liam and the girl had joined us a while later. You had been wearing your purple shades the entire time, but you still got slightly nervous when the two came by.
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The girl was a bubbly little thing. Serena, I think was her name. Very headstrong, in a good way I suppose. In a way where she swept everyone off their feet the second she walked into the room.
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She had given me an aggressive handshake and I had gotten up to sit on your side of the booth, beside you. Liam shot me a dirty look, for forcing the two of them to sit next to each other. I just didn't want you to sit with a stranger.
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And maybe I wanted to annoy him a bit more.
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You had liked Serena, I remember. You had listened to the same audio books she had read the hard copy of and then you both had hit it off.
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That was perhaps the best night of my life. We sang along with the bands, laughed so much our stomachs hurt. We even danced.
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Do you remember us dancing, angel?
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I had pulled you close with a hand that held yours, my other hand remained a ghost of a presence that was hovering over the fabric of your dress at your waist.
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You were a natural.
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I know you won't believe me when I tell you this, but you really were.
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The both of us were spent by the end of the night. We retired to your car. I had left Liam alone with Serena and slipped away with you. Your driver had driven us all the way back to your apartment.
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I walked along with you all the way up to your apartment, and unlocked the door for you. You were exhausted after the dancing and singing. You had fallen asleep in the car. I was planning to carry you all the way up to your place, but you had gotten up with a start when the car came to a stop in the parking area.
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Even as you had stood beside the door while I unlocked it, you were swaying and leaning on the marble tiled wall.
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I had opened the door and pulled you inside, closing the door behind me. I had gently pushed you till the couch and made you settle on it.
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I wouldn't change you out of your clothes, I had told myself. I couldn't handle something like that. I would remove your shoes, and maybe drop a text to your cousin to help you out.
So I had done just that. I had crouched before you, sitting on my heels, I had unzipped your boots. I had pulled your black boots off slowly.
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Then I had stood up, and tried to see if you were awake in the dim lighting of the room. Assuming you were silent because you had already fallen asleep, I had whispered to you a ‘good night’ and made a move towards the door.
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When I felt a tug on my jacket.
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“Naia,” your voice had come out more breath and whisper, than words, “stay.”
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and then Add to home screen.