陶渼,她每次很喜欢在事情过了后,才来检讨自己刚刚的所作所为,然后就开始后悔,为已经挽回不了的事耿耿于怀,即使已经知道事情已经过去了。她朋友不多,不喜欢讲话,喜欢沉静在自己的世界里,可以说至今都没人,知道她心里到底在想什么。但自从上了中学,她开始慢慢地交到了朋友,虽然不多,但至少有。刚开始还不错吧,就是有点不明白朋友到底应该要做什么,然后就会观察别人怎么做,但又不会模仿,因为她看到的是前面聊得胜欢,但只要有其中一个人走后,那个人就成为他们的话题,于是她厌恶这种关系。其实她不是没有人主动找他聊天,但她不是把话聊死,要不然就是把话说得太直接得罪人,所以又一次一次地把要靠近她的人推开。不完全是别人的问题,她自己也清楚知道是自己sh不愿意让别人靠近,后面又要靠北。又到一个时段,她又开始羡慕别人的友情为什么能够怎么好,不是说她没有,朋友还是有的,就是没有一个能了解她想法的人,她就像是画了个隔离线把每个人隔离起来,不让别人靠近她半步,但矛盾的事,她其实很想让人了解她,因为她心里的负担已经大得让她开始慢慢承受不住了,常常希望能有个人拉她一把,聆听她的内心,理解她。当真的有人愿意聆听她时,她又退缩了,把唯一一个心里向外展开的机会又磨灭了,刚亮起的曙光,又被自己遮掉了。她不是不想说,她很想说,但又怕说出来,变成他人伤害自己的那把刀,也怕刚交到的朋友跑掉,因为不理解。于是她在沉到不能再沉时,躲在一个无人的地方哭泣。但哭泣完后,她又能很好的假装自己很好,不让别人发现。可能有?只是她不懂?
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她心里的内心戏
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