Sunday, March 21st
Rosary, Our Lady Catholic Church, 10:15 a.m.
Neil had almost never missed the Sunday Mass, even when he was in the Emergency Response Team. He generally preferred the vigil Mass, but the previous day he had arrived home late, and Billy and Bob had invited him to have a beer in a pub on the sea promenade. It had been a pleasant evening, chatting with his friends.
Now he took the photo of Alison Stevens he had been given by Gordon. He put it into the internal pocket of his jacket, and he went to the church. He decided to walk there because it was just a few blocks from his home. Since he had been sitting in his car for a long time the previous afternoon, he felt he needed exercise, especially for his wounded leg, which sometimes still gave him problems.
He arrived in plenty of time, and he went to sit in the last pew. At the front of the church, the children of the community were gathering. The nuns of the orphanage escorted their children to sit among their peers. When he was a small boy, he didn’t have to go to the local church on Sunday, because there was a chapel in the institution, and Father Thomas celebrated the mass for the orphans and the staff.
Only little Amy remained with the two sisters. She was really small for her age, so fragile. She kept her eyes downcast, and she didn’t look around her. Neil saw that Sister Nancy turned to him and smiled. She bent towards the child and said something in her ear. Amy tentatively turned her head and looked at him. The moment she locked eyes with him, she didn’t immediately lower her gaze, but she looked at him for a few seconds. He smiled at her, and she nodded imperceptibly, then she turned her head and bowed her eyes. Sister Nancy and Sister Theresa had noticed that the girl behaved differently to him, but … Had they noticed he was interested in the little girl? He had learnt from an early age that nuns were really good at perceiving things that other people didn’t see. Had this nun he had met for the first time a few days before, noticed his reaction when he had met the girl?
At that moment, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw John, who was silently asking if he could sit next to him. He nodded, and he smiled at Jennifer, who was following her husband. The church was almost full. Neil saw he knew many people: Bruno and his wife Sheila, Anna and her family … Billy and Bob entered and went to sit in front of Neil. There was no sign of the Lewis family, but Neil was not surprised, because they hadn’t struck him as religious people.
During the mass he tried to pray: he prayed for that woman in a hospital bed, he prayed for Robin, who missed his grandma so much, he prayed for little Amy, who was finding a place in his heart, he prayed for Anna, because he was almost sure he would soon have to tell her the truth about her son’s death. He prayed for Father Thomas, who was the person he was grateful to for what he had been able to achieve in life. And last, he prayed for that girl he was trying hard to find. He wondered where she was, what she was doing. Why hadn’t she tried to contact him? Why that telephone call, almost six months before, abruptly interrupted? Was she still alive? He didn’t want to consider the idea that she was dead ... He asked God: “Please, let me find her. Let me help her. Let her come back to me …”
***
When the mass ended, a small crowd gathered outside the church as usual. Father George came out very soon, and he started to say a word to every person, always smiling, always solicitous.
Neil stopped to talk to John, who was asking him what he had discovered the day before. Neil brought him briefly up to date with the investigation and he took out the photo of Alison Stevens. He showed it to his colleague and to Jennifer. They didn’t recognize her. John said: “Nobody here knew that Stacey Lewis’s husband had another daughter. I don’t know if even her children knew about it.” Neil answered: “Tomorrow I’ll ask Steve to verify if she is really Mr. Lewis’s daughter.” Father George approached them, and he asked Neil: “I think everyone is enthusiastic about your idea of inviting relatives and friends to watch a volleyball practice session next week. Did you tell the children yesterday?”
“Yes, George, they seemed excited…”
Jennifer said: “If you are talking about the volleyball practice next Saturday afternoon, it was the first thing Alan told us when he came home.” She turned to Neil and said: “I think it is a wonderful idea. Neil, you are really extraordinary. In the middle of an investigation, you find the time to organize the volleyball practice and to think of events for our community.”
Mark and Silvia had approached, and Mark had overheard what they were talking about. He commented: “Yes, Neil. Thanks, because our children are becoming more and more enthusiastic about the sport and the coach, I think!”
Neil started to laugh and said jokingly: “I hope it is volleyball that gives them all this enthusiasm, not their coach.”
He took out the photo and showed it to Father George, Silvia, Mark, and Anna, who had joined them. Without going into details, he briefly explained what he had learned, but nobody seemed to recognize the woman.
He had expected it, and he wasn’t surprised. Anna asked solicitously: “How is that poor woman? Let’s hope she will recover.”
Neil looked at the photo for a few seconds and then said: “The doctors say she is stable, but she doesn’t show any signs of improvement.” Then he added musingly: “I would like to see the reaction of the Lewis family when they see this photo.”
Anna said immediately: “Yesterday, Mr. Lewis called me to reserve a table for five. I think they will all be there, including Dana!”
Neil said: “Anna, if you don’t mind, I will stop at your trattoria, just to show them the photo.”
Silvia said: “Neil, why don’t you have lunch at our restaurant? There are still one or two tables ...”
Billy and Bob, who had joined the group and were looking at Alison’s photo, said: “Neil, we could have lunch together if Anna has a table for three.”
Anna answered immediately: “Of course... I will wait for you in an hour, ok?” She turned to her daughter and said: “Silvia, we have to hurry. Bruno will already be in the kitchen.” They both took leave and hurried away.
Mark and John left with their children because they had been invited to have lunch at Jennifer’s sister’s in a nearby town, while their wives were at work. Neil went home to take his car.
***
Rosary, Anna’s Trattoria , 12:45 p.m.
Neil, Billy and Bob were sitting at a small table in one corner of the dining room at Anna’s Trattoria, when they saw the Lewis family enter. They were immediately greeted by Jennifer, who led them to a larger table in the middle of the restaurant. They sat down without speaking, and they took the menus Jennifer was handing each of them.
Billy and Neil exchanged a meaningful glance, because Dana was not among them. They saw Mr. Lewis ask Jennifer to remove the plate, the glass and the napkin prepared for a fifth person.
Neil couldn’t help noticing the dejected look on Robin’s face, who sat between his father and Margaret and remained silent for almost all the time of the lunch. Neil would have liked to invite him to sit with them, but he was afraid of the reaction of his father or of his stepmother.
Bob commented, reading his boss’s mind: “I am not a father, not yet at least, but I don’t think I wouldn’t notice that my child is suffering. That poor boy is so sad. How can they be so insensitive? All of them?”
Neil sighed and said: “The problem is that it is difficult to help them or at least to support Robin, because they tend to take every remark on a personal level.”
The three policemen kept on eating, chatting and laughing, and, when they had ordered the dessert, they saw the familiar face of Bruno come out of the kitchen. He passed, as he was used to doing, from table to table, and he stopped at the officers’ table with a satisfied grin. He asked: “Was everything to your liking? To your taste? Tutto buono?”
Neil reassured him: “You are an excellent cook, Bruno. We liked everything very much.”
Bruno looked towards the Lewises’ table with a frown. He shook his head and said: “That is the only table where I don’t stop to ask if they liked the food. They are always complaining about something, especially the Notary. God knows what they eat at home.” He rolled his eyes comically, and the three policemen started to laugh. Neil said jokingly: “Don’t worry, Bruno. The rest of the diners appreciate your work, I can assure you.” Bruno regained his cheerful countenance. He said a heartfelt ’Grazie!’ and left them to go back to the kitchen.
When Neil saw the Lewises were having their dessert, he took the photo of Alison from the pocket of his jacket, and he asked his colleagues: “Can you watch the reaction of the family members when I show them this? Mind you, I will just ask them if they recognize her, without telling them who she is. I am sorry Dana is not here.”
Billy and Bob nodded, and they watched Neil stand up and approach the table.
He said, as politely as he could muster, trying to avoid looking at Robin: “I am sorry to disturb you. Yesterday, I received a photo of the person your mother presumably intended to meet.”
The man and the two women looked at him without any interest. He passed the photo around and they shook their heads. Mr. Lewis said: “I have never seen this woman. Who is she?” Neil answered evasively. “We are trying to find a connection to your mother.” He noticed Robin had not been shown the photo. When Nolan handed it to the policeman, Neil knelt beside the boy, who turned to smile at him, the first smile since the beginning of the lunch. Neil asked him: “Have you ever seen this woman? Has your grandmother talked to you about her?”
He noticed that Barbara and Nolan exchanged a glance. Barbara was going to say something, but she stopped.
Robin looked at the photo for a few moments and said: “I am sorry, Neil. I have never seen this woman.” Neil ruffled his hair affectionately and stood up.
He couldn’t help disliking the behavior of this family, so respectable from the outside and so cold in reality.
After exchanging a glance with Bob and Billy, who were following attentively all the exchange, he said,
“May I ask if you knew your mother had an appointment with her notary tomorrow?”
Now there was a vehement reaction on the part of Nolan and Margaret, while Barbara remained apparently indifferent.
“An appointment?” Nolan repeated, “No, we didn’t know anything, and the notary confirmed that the will has not been changed recently.” Mr. Lewis realized he had said something inopportune, and he hastened to add: “I called the notary because I wanted to tell him we are waiting for the end of the autopsy and of your investigation, which, I hope, will be rapid. We have a funeral to arrange, you know.”
Neil answered with his unfailing composure: “Of course, Mr. Lewis, as soon as the autopsy is concluded, I will let you organize the funeral, don’t worry.”
Margaret interjected: “Why change the will? What did she want to change?”
Neil looked at her and answered placidly: “I think we will never know, Miss Lewis, since she was prevented from doing anything.”
He wanted to ask about Dana, but he was afraid of increasing the child’s discomfort, and so he turned and left, smiling at Robin, who was looking at him. The boy smiled back. Oh, how he wished Neil would take him with him. It didn’t matter where they would go, but at least he could talk to someone …
***
After a few minutes, the family stood up to leave, without looking at Neil as they passed his table. Only Robin turned to him and said in a whisper: “See you next Saturday, Neil.” Neil answered: “Even before Saturday, if you need, Robin ...” The boy nodded and left, because Barbara was looking at him with a frown.
***
When the restaurant was almost empty, Anna and Silvia came out of the kitchen and they saw that Neil, Billy and Bob were still sitting and talking.
They took two chairs, and Silvia asked: “Do you mind if we have coffee together?” Neil smiled and nodded. Silvia went back to the kitchen and came to the table with five steaming cups of espresso on a tray.
Anna was asking: “Neil, I saw you talking with the Lewises. Did they recognize that poor woman?”
Billy intervened and commented: “I was watching them while Neil showed them the photo. I believe they really don’t know who she is. What do you think, Bob?”
The colleague nodded and added, smiling: “But they certainly didn’t like it when you talked to Robin, and they had quite a reaction when you mentioned the will, Neil. Afraid of losing their money? Or, to be precise, their mother’s money?”
Anna and Silvia laughed, and Anna commented: “It is true that the more you have the more you want ...”
While they were drinking their coffee and talking about life in Rosary, Bruno came out of the kitchen with Jennifer.
They came to the table that was the only one still occupied. Bruno had a small packet in his hands. He looked at the three policemen, and he said: “I hope you don’t mind if I have prepared three portions of melanzane alla parmigiana, eggplant with parmesan. You know, my father was a carabiniere, a policeman in Italy, and I know it is a hard job!”
Neil took the packet from the hands of Bruno and said kindly: “Thanks, Bruno, you are very kind, and I am getting used to your packets that are always delicious.” The other policemen nodded and thanked the nice Italian cook. Neil added: “I think you told me you come from Livorno …” Bruno nodded and grinned. Neil went on: “I spent some time in Italy a few years ago. In fact, I was in Livorno, where the headquarters of the Italian Army Parachutists division are, and I met very nice carabinieri…” Once again, his pronunciation of the Italian word was perfect. ‘Can he have learnt Italian when he was there?’ Anna thought. Bruno beamed when he heard Neil mention his hometown. He couldn’t help asking: “When were you there? Oh, but you can’t have met my father, because he died ten years ago.”
Neil smiled at him and answered: “I think it was a little over two years ago. I had a wonderful time … I am sorry for your dad, Bruno!” Bruno smiled, and he left with Jennifer.
Anna turned to Neil and said: “I keep thinking of poor Robin. He was so sad today. And Dana, why has she not come back here to stay with her son?”
Neil and Billy exchanged a glance, and Neil said: “I am trying to find a way to talk to Robin without being interrupted, because yesterday, after volleyball practice, he was starting to tell me something, but Barbara came and took him away in a hurry. I don’t know why she doesn’t want him to talk to you, Anna, or to me, but I don’t like her attitude.”
Silvia commented: “Yes, I don’t like it because it is obvious Robin needs comfort, and they don’t have time for him. Why prevent friends from helping him at this time of his life? I really can’t understand.” She turned to her mum and added: “You say they don’t want to be judged, but how can we avoid judging them if they behave like that?” Neil nodded and, after a few more minutes of pleasant company, the three policemen left. Silvia and Anna cleared the table, and checked that everything was in order.
***
6:00 pm
Tom was getting restless. Four days had passed, and he still hadn’t heard from his lover. Last Wednesday, they had a wonderful time together. They had made love, and then they had talked for a long time. For the first time, they had faced the difficult topic of their future together. She had reassured him she would talk to her husband soon. Last Wednesday evening he felt optimistic and confident, and then… He had tried to call her every day, but he had got no answer. Why? He knew that, if she was with her husband, she couldn’t answer, but she had always called him back after a while, as soon as she was free to talk. But almost four entire days without calling? He was starting to get worried, and he had to know if they could spend another afternoon together next Wednesday.
He tried once again to call her. After a few rings, a low voice, almost inaudible, answered: “What do you want?”
Not exactly an encouraging beginning of a conversation, not exactly the greeting you would expect from a lover.
“What do I want? What are you doing? Why not call me or answer the phone?”
“My husband is in his study, and I can’t talk. You know it is difficult for me...”
“I know, and I have waited patiently for four days, but… Shall we meet next Wednesday? Darling, we had such a wonderful time.”
“I am sorry, Tom. We have to stop seeing each other for some time. I don’t have my cover anymore.”
“Why? You told me that your friend was always available. What happened?”
“Well, she ... She is not well, and she can’t pretend to be with me.”
“But... couldn’t you say that you are visiting her at home?”
“No, I can’t.” she was becoming impatient now. “Damn, Tom. You know I have a husband, and it is not easy. You know I love you, but you must give me some time.”
The call was abruptly interrupted, without a kind word. Tom remained with the phone in his hands for a few moments. Was she trying to tell him she didn’t want to leave her husband? Why was she so nervous? Had her husband discovered their affair? The easiest thing for him was to leave her alone and go on with his life, but ... He loved her, and he couldn’t stop thinking of her.
***
Rosary, the path to the lighthouse, 7:00 p.m.
In the few weeks he had lived in Rosary, Neil had got used to walking along the path that from the town led to an abandoned lighthouse. It was a solitary gravel walkway that bordered the seashore. It was really beautiful at sunset, when the color of the sea and of the sky blended with the red orange hue of the sun on the horizon.
The doctors in Vancouver had told him he needed exercise for his wounded leg in order to complete the recovery. So, when he had discovered this solitary path a few days after his arrival, it had become his favorite spot. When he reached the lighthouse, he sat down on the rocks, and he looked at the beautiful scenery in front of him. Vancouver was a big city, and he had to take the car to find solitary places like this, but here the path started just a few blocks from his little bungalow.
He had always lived in a metropolis, but he started to appreciate Rosary, a small town, in reality little more than a village. First of all, he didn’t need his car so much, because everything was within reach. Then, he reflected, in a big city there was not a great sense of community, you just met your friends and your acquaintances and, even if he had gained notoriety when he had appeared on TV, people in pubs and restaurants in Vancouver didn’t recognize him. Here, everywhere he went, people knew who he was. They smiled at him, they said hello on the streets, there was a familiar atmosphere.
On the other hand, he was conscious that being a celebrity and being a strikingly handsome man meant that people talked about him, that they were curious about his past life, that they wanted to know more than he was ready to disclose.
He stretched his leg, which was starting to act up. He was beginning to think that it would never recover completely, but he didn’t mind. When he had been taken to hospital after the shooting, the doctors at first had told him that there was nothing they could do, that he would have to use crutches for the rest of his life. Then, after two operations and a lot of physiotherapy sessions, he had started to feel better and now the limp was almost imperceptible, and he was still able to play volleyball with the kids.
When he was alone in nature, he inevitably started to think of his life. He had grown up in an orphanage, supported by Father Thomas, who had always believed in this solitary child and had encouraged him in his decisions. The only thing he knew of his father was that he was a policeman, Lieutenant John McKinley, who had died in a shooting. He had decided from an early age to become an officer. When he had left the orphanage to enter the Police academy, at first, he had felt lost, but Father Thomas had been always present, always ready to help him, even in the tragic moments he had had to face.
He thought of Anna, an intelligent Italian woman, who was trying to overcome her immense grief through her faith and the support of her family. She was always very kind to him, very considerate. Maybe she was the right person to help him win that impulsive reaction he still had when a motherly figure wanted to give him affection. He had mixed feelings: on one side this impulse, this wish of being left alone, this instinctive aversion to the figure of the mother. On the other side, as it is natural for every human being, he felt this longing for affection, this desire of having a person beside him, a person who supported him as only a mother could do, a mother in the true sense of the word, the mother he had never had, or even worse …
His thoughts moved inevitably to that sweet lonely fragile child, Amy. He found himself often thinking about her in the last few days. He instinctively took out his mobile phone. Those emerald green eyes … Apart from her dark complexion, Amy had a strong resemblance to that girl he was still looking for after three years. Neil held the phone in his hands for a few minutes. He scrolled the photos of a smiling young girl in her twenties. Tears came to the policeman’s eyes, and he sighed, caressing the image with his thumb. But … Could it be? His mind went back to, more or less, eleven, ten years before. She had stopped seeing him, after she had accused him of preferring his career to her. She had told him he had made his choice. But it was a choice she had always approved of. Why this change of attitude? He had asked her many times, but she had refused to answer. She had told him once: “Neil, if you love me, why do we have to get married? We could live together; we could buy that bar I have seen in the center of Vancouver and we could work together. Why do you insist on being a policeman? Don’t you care for me? I need you now! I need to feel that you love me, I need to have you beside me at all times, not only at weekends! If you really love me, give up your job and come to work with me! We could manage the bar together!” How many times he had replayed that conversation in his mind, thinking that maybe, if he had given in to her entreaties … She had never behaved like that before. She had never doubted his love, and they had agreed a long time before that they wanted to get married. When they had left the orphanage, she had rented a small apartment, while he lived in the academy lodgings for recruits. He had spent all the weekends at her flat. They had always talked about everything. They were first of all best friends, and their mutual trust and respect was what they cherished most.
Why this sudden change? Why did she need proof of his love? He had tried so hard to understand, to find a reason for her behaviour… Then someone had told him they had seen her with some bad guys. He had tried to call her, sensing that something was wrong, terribly wrong, but he had received no answer ….
After a few years, she had come back to him. She had accepted to go to a rehab center to get clean from drugs, but she had never told him about a child …
He was starting to see things differently now. He had to talk to Father Thomas, who had kept in contact with her in that first period, or, at least, had tried. Father Thomas, who had always been evasive about her, who had been evidently trying to protect him, from whom? From what? He had to know, because the more he thought about it the more he was convinced that Amy...
‘Carol,’ he whispered looking to the sky with tears in his eyes, ‘Where are you? Why don’t you come to me? I will always protect Amy. Don’t worry. It doesn’t matter how much you have made me suffer, how you have made me feel helpless. It doesn’t matter if Amy is not my daughter, if she is not the daughter I wanted to have with you… I wasn’t able to protect you, to save you, but I will protect Amy, nobody will hurt her, that’s for sure! And, please, Carol, let me help you, come back to me. You know I will always forgive you. I still love you!’
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