最狗血的八點檔！ - 帳號不見那天，全群人都傻了

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《帳號不見那天，全群人傻了》

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一開始，

真的只是想開個副本而已。

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晚上八點，群組照例跳出訊息。

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> 阿昭：

「今晚我主C，

誰死誰請雞排加飲料。」

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> 小胖：

「笑死，你昨晚被小怪追三條街欸，

今天還敢佔C？」

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> 阿光：

「他只負責帥，

操作靠信仰。

靠我這位大神。」

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阿昭剛要回嘴——

遊戲維修公告跳出來。

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> 系統：

【緊急維修，預估時間：未定，

請玩家儘速下線。】

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群組瞬間進入發瘋狀態。

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> 小胖：

「未定是三分鐘還是三年？

維修是突然想到就來的嗎？」

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> 阿光：

「我洗好澡準備獻身副本欸？

還放鳥我女朋友欸！」

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> 阿昭：

「不要怕，我去泡杯茶。

我們慢慢等，不急。」

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（這句話，就是悲劇的開端。）

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半小時後。

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阿昭用電腦回了公司兩封信、

改了簡報、看了報表，

順便還接了一通老闆的語音。

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再回來時——

維修好了。

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他興奮登入。

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輸入帳號。

輸入密碼。

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錯誤。

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再一次。

錯誤。

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第三次。

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【帳號已被鎖定】

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阿昭：「……幹。怎可能會錯？有鬼喔。」

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群組那邊還在鬧。

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> 小胖：

「人呢？該不會怕了吧？

啊昭快來喔～」

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> 阿光：

「又在加班裝可憐？

可憐社畜。」

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阿昭慢慢打字。

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> 阿昭：

「各位，我帳號好像有點怪，

進不了遊戲。」

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> 小胖：

「進不了遊戲？

別開玩笑。」

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> 阿昭：

「……我真的登不進去。」

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> 阿光：

「你是不是又把密碼當生日？

還是亂改結果忘了？」

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阿昭正要解釋——

群組突然跳出一則新訊息。

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> 系統通知：

玩家「神裝小昭」已上線

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全群：

？？？？？？

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阿昭腦袋直接空白。

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> 阿昭：

「等一下，

剛剛那個上線通知……

我沒上啊？」

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> 小胖：

「幹，

不是你喔？」

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> 阿光：

「那他是誰？？

被盜帳號？？？」

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三秒後。

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> 神裝小昭：

「大家好 😄」

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全群靜默。

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> 小胖：

「……你誰？」

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> 神裝小昭：

「我是昭啊。」

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阿昭手機差點砸臉。

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> 阿昭：

「屁啦！！

那是我帳號！！

玩的人不是我啊！！」

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> 神裝小昭：

「你在說什麼？

這帳號我玩很久了欸～」

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群組開始集體懷疑人生。

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> 阿光：

「昭，你是不是忘記

你喝醉的時候幹嘛了？」

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> 小胖：

「還是你人格分裂？」

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> 阿昭：

「不是！！

我真的被盜！！」

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這時，那個人開始操作。

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他直接跳舞。

換裝。

還把阿昭珍藏多年的限定披風穿出來。

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> 神裝小昭：

「這披風真帥，

你們以前怎麼都不誇我帥？」

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阿昭怒吼打字：

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> 阿昭：

「那是我課金的！！

花很多錢欸！！

我老婆都不知道這筆錢！！

給我脫下來！！！」

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小胖突然冒出一句。

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> 小胖：

「……等等。」

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> 阿光：

「怎樣？」

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> 小胖：

「這走位，好熟。」

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> 阿光：

「幹，我也覺得。」

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> 小胖：

「這不是阿昭，

但好像……

比阿昭還會玩。」

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> 小胖補一句：

「這才是C位該有的樣子。」

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全群：

？？？？？？

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終於，兇手自己笑出來了。

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> 神裝小昭：

「好啦，不演了，

是我。」

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> 阿昭：

「你他X是誰！！！！」

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> 阿明（跳出來）：

「我啦，阿明。」

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全群瞬間暴走。

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> 小胖：

「你什麼時候知道昭的密碼？？？」

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> 阿明：

「他上次在網咖登我電腦啊，

還說一句——

‘反正兄弟。’」

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阿昭：「……」

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（那句「反正兄弟」，

此刻重如山。）

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阿昭氣到發抖。

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> 阿昭：

「你為什麼不說！！」

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> 阿明：

「我本來想登一下看看，

結果你一直不上線，

我就想說幫你練。」

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> 阿明：

「想說刷個日常而已。」

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> 阿明：

「然後……

好像玩得有點順。」

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> 阿明：

「然後就忘記登出了。」

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群組立刻進入結論時間。

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> 小胖：

「所以總結是——」

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> 「阿昭帳號被朋友拿走。」

「朋友裝傻。」

「還玩得比他好。」

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> 阿光：

「這不是盜帳，

這是被捉交替。」

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最後，帳號歸還。

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阿昭重新登入。

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角色站在主城，

頭上被阿明換了一個新稱號：

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「借來玩一下的那個」

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阿昭看著螢幕，

一句話都沒說。

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群組安靜三秒。

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> 小胖：

「你……還好嗎？」

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阿昭慢慢打字。

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> 阿昭：

「我終於懂八點檔

為什麼可以誤會一百集。」

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> 阿昭：

「因為朋友，

比反派還可怕。」

106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoHVDMKuvV

106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzt8myuPJyJ

106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegeLGP2jQb

106Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLiOyTuhB8

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