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【評文活動】嵐斕子在評文——第四期 - 赤瞳衛（關於雙線劇情） | Penana
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【評文活動】嵐斕子在評文——第四期
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【評文活動】嵐斕子在評文——第四期
ENTRY #10
Author: 虛鏡
Published:
Nov 16, 2025
【評文活動】嵐斕子在評文——第四期
Published:
Nov 16, 2025
ENTRY #10
赤瞳衛（關於雙線劇情）
Author: 虛鏡
Published:
Nov 16, 2025
1 Min Read
241 Words
No Plagiarism!zOOM02Rkgdn4amAbfUgSposted on PＥNAＮＡ

作品名：赤瞳衛

作品標籤：中世紀、奇幻、戰鬥

範圍：一到八章節

點評內容：

目前創作的作品，創作習慣偏好主角有嚴重缺陷，隨著劇情發展一點點克服。

如前作主角的衝動、不動腦，後期心態的進步令她配得上所擁有的力量。

本作我給的標籤是「無情感的人形兵器」，希望隨著旅途讓腳色成長。

但問題就是前期過於被動的主角很難推動劇情，角色間的火花也很難激發。

導致原本的劇情很像旅遊團的巴士，地點一到角色下去過個場，然後又匆匆離去。

因為讀起來很乾，所以最終版本改轉雙線劇情。但不確定目前雙線的狀態對於讀者而言會不會過於混亂或是有重點失焦的問題。

177Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzdC6P6Vb0F

177Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3z3niu5uI

177Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAVOuBfqCb

https://www.penana.com/story/190266/赤瞳衛

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