If we look around, we will definitely find 'achievement-oriented idealists,' the kind of people who walk around with that 'if I overwork, maybe my pain won't sting me anymore' ideology. You rarely find such specimens, as it requires overwork and exhaustion. Yeah, Dr. Jahnvi is one such.
Ever since her early return to the hospital, Jahnvi has immersed herself in work as if nothing else matters to her at this moment. She thinks that's the only thing that can keep her sane right now.
Every time she closes her eyes, her mind is filled with cheerful faces of her loved ones she saw two weeks back and how everything shattered. She does remember that guy as well. No, not because she misses him and reminisces about their meetings. She remembers him because she is unable to pinpoint whether this guilt of everything breaking belongs to her or to him. He holds no place in her limbic system, but definitely in her frontal cortex, as a detailed, thoughtful exit of him is pending.
When she tries to distract herself with society. She either sees unspoken pity from her colleagues and acquaintances. Something she does not like, as it makes her look like an object of sympathy. Or something worse that stings. Those taunts of her relatives and frenemies, blaming her for being too intense and non-negotiable.
Amidst this chaos, only her work brings hope in her eyes, so this morning when she headed to the inpatient ward after no sleep for the past 27 hours, she was not complaining as she otherwise did. She was looking forward to meeting the old lady who was recovering from severe dengue.
"How are you feeling now? Better than before, Amma?" She inquired about reaching there.
Amma smiled and looked at her with the fondness of a grandmother.
"I'm feeling much better, beta. You made me alright. I thought I would not make it this time."
"Arey, you should not say such things about yourself. You will be better than this before I discharge you."
"So I'll be here for a few more days!"
"Yes, I need to make sure you are alright. I have written some follow-up tests; once they are done, I'll check you again in the the afternoon."
"God bless you, Beta. I've been here for four days, and I see you running around, working so hard. You will go a long and glorious way."
"Thank you so much, Amma; now go back to rest."
A smile came on her face, and she allowed herself a moment to just breathe. Just one.
And then—
"Now she's showing off as if she works too much. Even a cancelled marriage was not enough to bring her back down down to earth. Don't know when she'll stop flying."
It stung. Stung enough to turn back and give a befitting reply, but she could not make out who it was.
This is what her fear was, that people will start associating her with something she had no control over, so she put her soul into something that was only in her control. At least there's something she can do with no one else to mess it up for her.
As she was going through her round, she got a call from her head of department, asking her to meet him right at that moment.
---
When she went in his chamber, she did not know what to expect. Maybe she did something wrong while spiraling down her unresolved thought, or maybe he wanted to praise her for something she did. 'No, let's not get our hopes too high,' she thought to herself.
When Dr. Roy looked at her, she could not make out anything from his expressions; that being said, nobody can read his expressionless face usually.
Finally, Dr. Roy started speaking: "The Ministry of Health and Family Welfare is holding an international conference on 15th January; I want you to attend it. You can get the details in the email I have sent you."
"Sir... me?" She was too speechless and surprised to form complete sentences.
"Yes, you, Dr. Jahnvi. I need to send one of my residents, so I chose you this time. Any problem? I can send someone else."
"NO SIR, I'll do it. Thank you, sir."
This was strange and sudden.
She left his cabin with newfound happiness,iness and yes, this time she was truly flying.
Medicine as a field does not allow room for seniors to appreciate their juniors with words most of the time. Appreciation comes in the form of opportunities.
She felt appreciated. She felt seen for her work.
---
That night she could not sleep. Excited enough for the conference, nervous enough to not mess it up.
ns216.73.217.39da2
and then Add to home screen.