Chapter 66: Couple Showdown
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“Tsk, as expected of Scumbag-kun. Even Kanna, such a small child, can see right through your dirty nature—” Raphael crossed her legs, elegantly resting one hand on her thigh, her tone dripping with mockery. “A brain completely filled with H thoughts—what a hopeless hentai.”
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Shut up!
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She only looks small! She’s actually over a thousand years old, easily older than you!
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And with Tohru as her clueless mentor, that blue-eyed dragon probably doesn’t even know what ‘H’ means! For all I know, she thinks it’s something edible.
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“Hmph!”
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Vigne let out a sharp sound through her nose, biting her lip before rising abruptly. She gripped her drink bottle a little too tightly and stormed toward the nearby trash bin, the faint sound of plastic crumpling in her hand.
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Kouya rubbed his temples. His brain felt fried. Maybe a trip to the claw machine would cool his head.
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Behind him, Kanna followed quietly, her small footsteps tapping rhythmically against the pavement. Her face, as usual, was unreadable, but her tail swayed faintly behind her like a cat curious about everything.
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They arrived at the same claw machine area as before, surrounded by bright neon lights and the whirring sound of gears. Inside the glass case were all sorts of prizes—hats, plushies, and some questionable trinkets. After a few minutes of focused effort, Kouya skillfully fished out several hats of different colors and styles.
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He crouched down and handed a white princess hat to Kanna, identical to the one that little girl earlier had worn.
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The blue-eyed dragon accepted it delicately, her small hands brushing his fingers for a second. She placed it on her head, and under the golden afternoon sunlight, the brim cast a clean line of shadow over her face, dividing her features between brightness and softness. The sight made her look almost ethereal, like a porcelain doll come to life.
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Kouya blinked once, then handed a second hat—a cat-shaped one—to Vigne. The design was ridiculous, with fluffy ears and tiny paws sewn to the sides as if a kitten were clinging to her head.
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“Want it?” he asked, lips twitching.
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“T-this kind of thing, I don’t... I don’t...” Vigne stuttered, her eyes gleaming despite her attempt to resist. She looked torn between maintaining dignity and indulging in temptation.
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“If you don’t want it, I’ll throw it away.”
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Her expression froze. “No way!” she snapped, then bit her lip, glaring up at him. Finally, she snatched it from his hand with a flustered huff, her cheeks faintly pink.
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“Master Kouya’s biased! I want one too!” Tohru suddenly appeared right behind him, her voice echoing like a cheerful ghost.
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Don’t lean over the railing like that! It’s screaming in agony! Even the metal looks like it’s begging for mercy!
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Even a railing has dignity, and your chest is too heavy for it to bear!
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“Here,” Kouya grumbled, handing her a shiba-inu hat without enthusiasm.
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“I want a different one!” she protested immediately, puffing her cheeks.
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Why? That one’s perfect for you! It matches your sarcastic husky to a T!
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“But it’s ugly...” she whined.
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Request denied!
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You wag your tail for Kobayashi every day anyway—this hat fits you like destiny! Who knows, if you wear it home and wait by the door wagging your tail, Kobayashi might even pat your head and call you a good girl!
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Next, Kouya tossed a fake straw hat to Gabriel. It was a simple yet stylish model, clearly based on some popular brand. The angel caught it lazily, yawning before plopping it on her head.
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This fallen angel had long since abandoned her heavenly grace. Ever since she fell into the realm of games, snacks, and sloth, her decline had been unstoppable. Early bedtimes? Gone. Balanced meals? Forgotten. Cleanliness? A myth. Her halo might as well have been replaced with a Wi-Fi signal.
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And then came Satania.
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“What are you staring at?” the red-haired demon demanded, crossing her arms and glancing at him with sideways eyes full of defiance.
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“Nothing. Just thought you wouldn’t want one,” Kouya said dryly.
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“W-who said that?! If Gabriel gets one, I’m getting one too! I won’t lose to her!” she shouted, puffing out her chest proudly.
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Kouya sighed, already too tired to argue. He grabbed a random hat and handed it over. “Here. This one suits you. Looks cute.”
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“C-cute?” Satania froze, her crimson eyes wide. “Y-you think I’m... cute?” Her face went red in a flash. “J-just because you said that doesn’t mean I’ll like you, got it!”
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“Pfft—”
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Like me? I was talking about the hat, idiot!
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You’re dense as a brick! No, softer! You’re like sweet tofu—soft, clueless, and easy to break!
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Kouya groaned and started to walk away, only for Satania to snatch the hat from him.
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She cradled it close, smirking proudly while pretending not to care. “Hmph! Since you’ve presented me with this humble offering, I, the great demon Satania, shall grant you favor! When I conquer Hell, I’ll make you my personal servant! Praise me, mortal!”
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Kouya blinked, then snorted, unable to suppress a grin. “Heh.”
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...
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After a quick break, the group set off again through the amusement park, their laughter echoing amid the fading light.
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Vigne took Gabriel’s hand in one and Kanna’s in the other, the picture of a worn-out mother wrangling two children. Tohru followed happily behind, still munching on a stick of cotton candy that she’d conjured seemingly from nowhere.
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They rode the carousel, entered a mirror maze, and screamed together on a spinning ride that nearly made Satania cry. The sun had begun to dip by the time they finished, bathing everything in a warm, golden glow.
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Kouya found a quiet bench and sat down, drinking from a cold bottle of water, savoring a rare moment of peace.
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Then, from behind him—
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“Poke poke poke—”
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That familiar, infuriating rhythm. The same pressure. The same height. The same audacity.
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Kouya didn’t even need to guess. He turned slowly, face deadpan.
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Standing there was Gabriel, her golden hair gleaming, her eyes sparkling mischievously like she’d just found treasure.
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“I need your help with something...” she said sweetly.
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Kouya raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Here it comes.”
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Finally showing your true colors, huh? There’s no way you’d waste your weekend on something normal.
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“Let’s join that one!” Gabriel suddenly pointed toward the open plaza nearby.
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Kouya followed her finger. A temporary stage had been set up, surrounded by a lively crowd. A smiling hostess in a red dress stood on stage, speaking animatedly into a microphone.
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Several prizes were displayed nearby, but one stood out—a brand-new silver PlayStation 4 console, glinting like divine treasure under the setting sun.
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Gabriel’s eyes practically turned into gold coins. “That’s the newest limited edition! I saw it online—it’s ridiculously expensive! We have to win it!”
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So that’s it, huh? Greed, thy name is Gabriel.
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Wait—we?
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“Because it’s a couples-only contest,” she explained matter-of-factly. “I can’t enter alone.”
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You’ve got to be kidding me! You and me? A couple?!
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If anything, we’re rivals fated to destroy each other!
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“Not a real couple!” she clarified quickly, her cheeks faintly pink. “Just pretending, okay?”
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“If the others weren’t all girls, I’d never ask you!”
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She looked both embarrassed and desperate, fidgeting with her hair. “But there’s no choice! I need that console!”
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Pretend to be her boyfriend? I’d rather wrestle a dragon!
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“If I don’t win it, I’ll be heartbroken! I won’t be able to sleep for weeks!”
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You already don’t sleep! You grind raids until sunrise every day!
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“I’ll even cook for you for a week!” she added desperately.
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“Yeah right! Your ‘cooking’ is a war crime! The cafeteria chef could do better blindfolded!”
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“That’s my homemade love lunch! How dare you insult it!” Gabriel snapped, puffing her cheeks. “Anyway, we’re entering that couples contest and winning that console! And if we win, I’ll even let you... let you touch—”
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“PFFT—”
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Kouya nearly sprayed water all over the ground.
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What the hell happened to your angelic pride?!
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All this for a PlayStation?! You’re willing to sell your dignity and your body for gaming loot?!
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Unfortunately, her voice wasn’t quiet.
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Everyone heard.
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Instantly, Kouya felt that cold, piercing stare again. Vigne’s eyes, from across the crowd, locked on him like twin blades—filled with confusion, disbelief... and the faintest glimmer of jealousy.
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