A little while ago, I struggled with intrusive suicidal thoughts. Obviously. I didn't intend on doing anything, I didn't feel like doing anything, I don't know why I was plagued with such terrible thoughts. And then suddenly. They were gone. I didn't have them anymore. 136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSo7hae8DnK
I had been on this new antidepressant for a while. And there was no change in dosage. But suddenly, like an choir -- no -- orchestra, I was drowning in the noise. The noise of voices that sounded like mine but spoke words that I never thought of. I covered my ears and screamed for them to leave me alone. But their song just kept going. Reaching its cresendo and then...136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbChZoAQLBe
Stopping.
And I'm sat, wondering, what changed? What caused this sudden symphony of sorrow and what ceased it?
I don't listen to sad songs, I don't read sad books or watch sad movies. I don't think of death or of politics, endangered animals or climate change. I try not to.
I said it once. Suicide. In the past week before the song of death nearly drowned me. As though it was a curse, it haunted me. Not every waking thought, no, of course not, that would make too much of a scene. Just enough to keep me distraught. In a state of discomfort in my own mind.136Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VRqtec8LI
and then Add to home screen.