Originally published on Wattpad
TW: Grief, trauma responses (but I promise you some fluff)
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I stared blankly at the ground. This stupid war. It took and it took and it took and now it had taken too much. It had taken Arnos.
My hands gripped the branches tightly. My tears slid down my nose, dripping softly to the forest floor, where they joined all the dead plants making a rich floor for alive ones to thrive on. It hurt to realise that now, Arnos was just like one of those leaves. He'd return to the cycle of the forest, nurturing the next plants to grow. The crunch of dry leaves underfoot jerked my gaze upwards to meet Evellon's.
"Hi," I said hoarsely. My throat was raw from hours of crying and my cheeks were streaked with salty tear trails. I was definitely not looking my best. Evellon's lips pulled into a tight smile.
"Hey. Mind if I sit?" He asked, pointing to the branch next to me. I shrugged.
"Knock yourself out." I scooted over to make room for him.
He sat with a sigh. His antlers were large and curved back in on themselves, similar to the reindeer I'd seen in colder regions, like where his mother had lived. His presence was a comforting one, like a friendly boulder. I leaned my head onto his shoulder, letting out a shaky breath. I felt like I was going to cry for the 1000th time, but Evellon's voice distracted me.
"You know, I lost someone too." His voice was calm and reflective, like he was describing something that had happened to someone else. I felt like he was still trying to come to terms with it. I turned to look at him.
"You did?" I asked him softly, meeting his dark mahogany eyes. He radiated a calm, soothing energy, and suddenly I didn't feel so alone in the world.
He nodded. "Rowan was his name." He looked away, casting his gaze into the leafy canopy above. It shifted, throwing golden glimmers of sunlight across his sable skin. One single leaf helicoptered down, falling to a rest at my feet.
I picked it up. "Sounds like you knew him well," I replied softly and risked a glance.
Evellon's voice seemed softer, more open as he responded, his head tilted back to stare at the green leaves above. "I did. I knew him very well." He leaned forward, tracing patterns into the tree bark. I sensed there was something deeper, some pain he wasn't ready to share. If I looked very closely, I thought I could see a muscle tightening in his jaw, his fist slightly clenched on the branch.
He cleared his throat, taking a breath. "Anyway. What I was meaning to say is, losing someone hurts. So badly. And they leave a gaping hole in your life. People will tell you you'll fill it. That's a lie. You'll never properly repair the part of your heart they ripped open." His voice seemed to falter, before regaining its strength. "But over time, the hole gets smaller." His voice was a little more open, and I could tell this was something he himself had gone through. He gently nudged me with his shoulder. "You're a strong woman. You'll be okay." He smiled gently.
"In the meantime, I'm here if you need someone to cry on, vent to, yell at or lightly punch," he added, a bit of a flippant tone in his voice, but enough seriousness to let me know he was genuine.
I sniffed. "You got me tearing up again, teman." I pulled him into a hug. "Thanks."
My raven swept in, cawing at the top of its tiny, annoying lungs.
I pulled away. "Seriously? We were having a moment!" I reprimanded.
Evellon laughed. "It's okay. What does your corvid friend need?"
I turned to the offending bird. "Yeah, what do you want?"
It presented a leaf to me—one that wouldn't be found anywhere else in this forest. I took in the golden-veined glory of the leaf, turning it over in my hands. A flicker of recognition fizzed in my gut, sending unease through my body. I shoved it down.
"This is an aralia, right?" I asked my feathered companion, carefully keeping my voice casual. It cawed as if to say Yeah, you blind?
I scoffed. "I can see. I was just double checking."
Evellon turned to me. "An aralia? You know what this means." His tone was a mix of awe and apprehension—like he was glad it wasn't him.
I sighed in annoyance, pulling my black hair behind my shoulders. "Yeah. And I don't like it."
That pesky anxious feeling reared its annoying little head again, shooting up my spine. I mentally brushed it away again. Stress less, Laela, you'll be fine.
He shrugged. "You still gotta go. It's a summons from the Council of Elders," he replied as I stood, my bare feet gripping the ridged bark of the branch we sat on.
"I know." I huffed, before realising my tone sounded snappy. My face softened. "Sorry. You don't need me biting your head off." I schooled my features into a grateful smile. "For what it's worth, thanks for that. You're a good friend."
Evellon smiled, but pain lingered in his eyes—talking about Rowan had clearly affected him more than he let on. I turned to leave, but paused, one hand holding the tree trunk.
"I'll see you later, okay?" I hugged him on impulse. He seemed a little surprised but returned the gesture. He was a good hugger, warm and gentle. And he smelt like cedarwood, and pine needles, mixed with the earthy smell of soil after rain, and a whisper of wildflowers, sweet but not overpowering. Evellon smelt like a quiet place deep in the woods, where the world feels slower, softer, and safe. His scent lingered like the memory of a peaceful walk through the trees at dusk, grounding and steady, like he was, pulling me in like a- Focus!
Come on, Laela, you need to think about the Council, not weirdly beautiful and supportive childhood best friends.
I cleared my throat, pulling away. "Alright. I really do have to go now. Can't keep the Elders waiting."
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How did we feel about that? Please feel free to drop any questions, comments or thoughts in the comments! For clarifying reasons, teman is the Baequinnanean word for friend. (I'm using Indonesian as their language, but shh.) Comment and tell me your thoughts, please, I love you guys.
AAAAAAND IF YOU'D GENTLY BONK THAT VOTE BUTTON I'D GREATLY APPRECIATE YOU M'THEYDY
Word count: 1090 words
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