**Song: Your Stupid Face by Kaden MacKay**
What am I?
The question lingered in my mind, growing louder with every day it was there. It's been six weeks, and I can't forget about the stupid question my idiotic brain dreamed up. Seriously, why? Why do I have to have an existential crisis at only 12?
Ever since the day that I had those few thoughts, life hasn't been the same. I'm discovering more of myself everyday, though it's not much. I know basic things, like my likes and dislikes, though there's still more that I'm missing...
Well, I have bigger problems to worry about. Like how my birthday is today. The fifteenth of April. Yet, I'm not excited. Will managed to find out my birthday and he DEFINETLY has something planned. I am horrified at what he could do, and what could go wrong. I hate attending parties, but what if he doesn't know that?
Ugh, worrying about my birthday is annoying. Like, why put me through this. Gods, I can't believe that this is happening. Everyone loves birthdays, until they realize that birthdays are just torture wrapped in banners and sparkles. Ugh, and the embarrassment that I feel on mine is matched by no other. Up until now, mom and I would just eat cupcakes, unwrap presents, and watch movies. Now anything could happen and it's driving me crazy. I wish mom were still here. She always knew the best ways to plan my birthdays without being any trouble to me.
Nico comes and I know that I'm being led to my doom as I walk into the forest. We go in deep, past the shrine to Dionysus that I was the first to discover. We get into this clearing that's surrounded by hanging vines on all sides, as if it were a room carved out by the forest nymphs, I mentally mark this spot, as it might come in handy later. The ground is covered with moss, and along the tree line there's these little red and white mushrooms (as if they were form a Mario game). It's a dream come true in itself.
I see Will and Eurydice standing next to a cake, but it's small. It seems like it's only for five or six people. Maybe they didn't go all out? Does Will even pay attention to these types of things? Well, I guess I now know. It's actually pretty nice and thoughtful that they did this for me. It actually makes me feel a little happy.
"Surprise! Do you like it?" Instead of Will saying this, it's Eurydice. Maybe she isn't that bad after all? No, she still put me through loads of embarrassment and anger. I can't let her be redeemed that easily. Still though, I should at least be civil towards her. I don't want to cause any more drama.
"Y-yeah." I hesitate for a moment. I'm in awe that someone (other than my mom ofc) can make me a birthday party that is actually decent. No crowds, no irritating lights or sounds, nothing. Everything is perfect. Do they know me this well?
"Great!" Will is almost shouting, and I don't know if he means it or not. He seems just as happy as I feel.
"You did this for me?" I have to ask. I still can't believe that someone did this all for me.
"No, it's for someone else." I just stare at him for a couple of seconds. Really? "I'm being sarcastic." I hate the stupid tone rules. When you say something you should mean it, because then it gets all confusing. I laugh a little to show I got the joke, even though I didn't.
"Thank you." I don't think I've said that to anyone other than my mom. Normally in conversations I'm the quiet one, but I guess times are changing.
"C'mon let's have fun!" Eurydice says, and suddenly I'm swept up into activities that I've never done before.
The first one is what they call a pinata. You're blindfolded while hitting a cardboard box filled with candy. The best part? You're hitting the cardboard with a baseball bat, and you can hit as hard as you want! I loved it!
The second thing we did was some crafts. We colored on some blank CDs, painted wooden boxes, and made anklets! It was really, really fun. I genuinely laughed for the first time in years! It makes me overjoyed that I get to experience this fun while also feeing good about it!
We, of course, ate some cake after that. It was chocolate, my favorite. The cake was coated in a layer of red and black icing, but it was homemade. I don't know how they know that I don't like icing from stores, but I don't care. It was some of the best cake I've ever tasted, and my mom makes a good cake.
I felt like I was nine again, goofing around with my friends while giggling uncontrollably. This means so much to me, getting to play around like a little kid while actually being happy. Normally, birthdays were just like other nights (but with cake). Now it actually feels special. Is this what a birthday normally feels like? The only birthdays I would attend were mine and my mom's.
At the end of the party, we all collapsed on the ground in a circle. I probably had an adrenaline rush during that party, because I didn't realize how tired I was until were were laying there.
"So, how was the party?" Eurydice was taking deep breaths in between words. I guess she is probably feeling the same way as me.
"It was great." I realize that I'm also breathing heavily, definitely because of how tired I felt.
"I'm glad you liked it." I don't know how Will and Nico managed to say it in unison, but they did. We all laughed at that. I still had a bit of really real laughter in me, though not much.
I looked over at Eurydice. Like, really looked. She always had this goofy smile that made my fears melt. Ugh, why does it have to do that? I can't hate myself with her going around smiling like that. So frustrating.
"Okay bye!" I shadowtraveled to the roof of the cabin. You might be wondering, 'Why'd you do that?", but I found myself getting tired. I need to chill on my own now. Today was fun, but I do need to unwind. Being around so many people makes me (you could say) tense at times, even if I'm used to them.
I lay there for a second, trying to unpack what just happened. People actually got how I felt and accommodated for it. Heck, they went out of their way to make sure I felt comfortable. Are we actually? Can I call them? Friends?
Ugh! All of this is so confusing! They can't expect me to play this guessing game! I've barely made it out of the relationship with Solana with my sanity intact. Heck, I don't know how I've even made it this far! Why do I have to do this? Even more, why do relationships have to be so hard to have? As soon as you get them, you have to work to maintain them.170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg5NN3kFPJR
I head back into the cabin, hoping to get some shut eye. Instead, of course, Nico's sitting there in the shadows of the corner. Of course someone has to be pestering me. I guess I did leave the party in a rush, but they can't do this to me. I can't have people being near me 24/7 it's very mentally draining. They probably don't get it.170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqfKtNnXra
Don't say anything, just please don't say anything! So, of course, directly after I thought that Nico said something.170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vFD7Joibo
"Are you okay?" And the question I'm actively avoiding right now. Gods, why does everyone have to ask me that? They're all so annoying when they're asking about my well-being.
"I'm fine, okay." I say it in a flat tone, but it was kind of unintentional. I mean, the tone. Masking is leaving me in the dust.170Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzvNLfFX7L
"Okay. We were just wondering." I wonder if that incudes Eurydice. I flop down on the bed, because I can finally climb the bunk bed again. Yes, boot off! I can finally roam free again, no repercussions!
I blast my music, drifting off into one of the best sleeps I've had in a while. No nightmares, no prophetic dreams, nothing. Just blank nothingness to drift off to. The perfect recovery.
My social recovery.
ns216.73.217.39da2
and then Add to home screen.