地獄契約--因果篇 - 地獄勞資糾紛（玩搞笑）

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場景：地獄客服中心，櫃檯掛著「契約糾紛調解處」牌子

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林天命（推著眼鏡，機械化微笑）：「第114514號客戶請到3號櫃檯～」

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阿凡（拍桌）：「我要投訴！點解佢份契約包埋『無極之力』？打交自帶金光特效仲能轉『光與暗』法則！」

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「佢遲下係咪可以變超人迪加同暗黑破壞神呀！？」

「我嗰啲咩『地獄的禮物』都唔係打交嘅!!」

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無因（舉手插話）：「但...但你嘅『厄運之力』好勁啊...仲可以令人行路踩狗屎...又唔減命仔」

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阿凡（翻白眼）：「你試下去便利店抽『謝謝惠顧』抽到店員可憐你送多支汽水吖！黑到爆！」（翻契約手冊）「仲有厄運之力天生㗎，你都有因果之力啦！」

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無因（淡定推眼鏡）：「凡哥，你份契約其實勁到離晒譜啦。『地獄禮物』可以直接加強厄運。仲有埋啲『惡魔謊言』『煉愛回魂』，技能多到好似自助餐任揀，你福利多~」

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「我連抽張SSR都要扣壽命，你改人運勢好似轉電視頻道咁輕鬆⋯⋯」

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阿凡（突然拍枱）：「頂！你知唔知我開頭幾慘？得一招『痛愛咒契』吸命仔咋！你多招『地獄之吻』幾好用吖！你底薪高。」

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林天命（熟練地拿出兩張表格）：「兩位，升級方案考慮下？加購『魔神尊享套餐』送痛愛魔女寫真集，而家特價只要998年壽命～」

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兩人異口同聲：「咁貴？！搶錢啊！」

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地獄之主（從天花板喇叭傳來聲音）：「溫馨提示：契約最終解釋權歸地獄所有～投訴請辦公時間按666，係無人聽嘅~」

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痛愛魔女（突然現身在兩人中間搭肩）：「唔滿意？姐姐同你轉份『天堂契約』吖？唔比飲酒，唔比講粗口，日日扶一百個阿婆過馬路！？」

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兩人（秒速後退）：「唔使客氣！我哋突然覺得本身份契約好完美！」

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（幕落：兩人勾肩搭背去爛鬼坊喝酒互相吐苦水）

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