We're sitting across from each other, right in front of the fireplace.
The flames crackle softly, as if they're trying to fill the silence neither of us knows how to handle yet.
I search for something to say-anything that might break the tension wrapping around us.
And only one thing comes to mind.
"I found the perfect name for the mare," I say, trying not to laugh.
Kai lifts an eyebrow, curious.
"Oh yeah?"
"Miss Freefall."
I burst out laughing. "Considering the flight she made me take... I'd say it fits."
Kai laughs too.
"You're right," he says. "It's definitely the right name."
The atmosphere loosens a little.
We start eating.
I take the first bite and stop, surprised.
"Mmh... this is amazing. Where did you learn to cook like this?"
Kai lowers his gaze to his plate, as if the question pulls him somewhere far away.
"When I was a kid, I used to watch my mom cook. She tried new recipes every day. I'd sit there, leaning on the table, just watching her. I think that's where I got it from. Cooking relaxes me... even if I don't always have the time."
Between bites and sips of wine, I listen to him talk.
Sometimes I nod, but in reality I'm watching everything:
the way he moves his hands,
how he pauses before finishing a sentence,
how he looks at me when he thinks I'm not paying attention.
Then suddenly, he stops talking.
He freezes.
And stares at me.
I touch my cheek, embarrassed.
"What? Did I get something on my face?"
He shakes his head slowly.
His voice shifts-lower, calmer, almost hypnotic.
"No. Nothing."
He pauses.
"You're perfect like this."
"I was just wondering..." he continues, eyes never leaving mine, "where you've been hiding all this time."
I go still.
The fire casts shadows across our faces.
The room feels smaller, more intimate, like the world has narrowed down to just us.
Kai leans in.
Slowly.
As if he's afraid of breaking something fragile.
He rests his forehead against mine.
Closes his eyes.
His voice is a whisper that runs straight through me.
"I don't know what you're doing to me..."
His breath is slow, warm.
"But I know you bring out the best part of me. The part I didn't even know existed."
I stay there, his forehead against mine.
He touches my face with a light, almost shy hand.
His fingers brush my cheek, then tuck a strand of hair behind my ear.
He looks at me.
Really looks at me.
His eyes shine, and the fire makes them even brighter, deeper, impossible to ignore.
"And that scares me," he murmurs, still so close.
His voice is low, sincere, almost fragile.
"I've never felt anything like this with anyone."
I don't say anything.
I can't.
There's a knot in my throat.
"From the first moment I saw you..." he goes on, leaning even closer, "I felt something different. I tried to ignore it. I really did."
He breathes in slowly, like admitting this costs him something.
"But with you, I can't. I can't stay away from you."
I stay still.
I look at him.
I let his hand caress my face.
His eyes speak.
Eyes locked on mine.
And in that look, I see sincerity-raw, disarming sincerity that hits me like a shock.
The truth is that whatever is happening to him...
is happening to me too.
I can't pretend otherwise.
He's in my head constantly.
A presence that never leaves.
The desire to be with him is stronger than everything:
stronger than judgment,
stronger than fear,
stronger than the possibility of getting hurt.
And I hid it.
I hid it so well I didn't want to see it myself.
But now it's here.
Right in front of me.
And I can't pretend anymore.
After everything he's said, all I can do is stay still.
It's like my body has stopped responding, while inside me everything moves, everything runs, everything explodes.
The emotions hit me like a wave I didn't see coming, and I don't know how to contain them.
Kai leans in slowly.
I feel his breath mix with mine.
His lips brush mine-barely.
Then he kisses me.
A long kiss.
Deep.
More intense than the first.
A kiss that feels like everything we haven't dared to say yet.
His hand slides up my back, then down, slipping under my dress.
The moment is perfect:
the fire,
his voice still echoing in my head,
his body so close to mine.
And yet, just when everything feels inevitable...
I stop him.
"Sorry..." I whisper, standing up too fast.
He stands immediately, confused.
The first excuse that comes to mind is ridiculous.
"My ankle... it still hurts a little."
My voice shakes.
"And... it's getting late."
I turn toward the stairs, ready to run from everything I feel, everything that scares me.
But I don't make it a single step.
Kai grabs my hand.
Pulls me gently, but with a certainty that steals my breath.
I end up against his chest.
His face is so close to mine.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asks.
His voice is low, steady, but there's a hint of vulnerability I've never heard before.
I shake my head.
"No. You didn't do anything wrong. Actually... you said beautiful things. It's just... me."
He looks at me like he's trying to read every thought I'm hiding.
"I thought you felt what I feel," he says quietly.
I close my eyes for a second.
Because it's true.
"That's exactly the problem," I whisper.
"I feel what you feel. And it scares me."
I try to gather the courage to say the rest.
"For the first time, I feel things I've never felt before... and only you make me feel them. They're so beautiful that... I want to protect them. I want to live every moment. That's why I want to take it slow."
Kai cups my face in his hands.
"Hey..." he says with a soft, almost disbelieving smile.
"It might sound strange, but I have the same fears you do."
His thumbs brush my cheeks.
"I'll wait. Whenever you're ready."
I smile.
A small, real smile.
He pulls me into his arms.
I rest my head on his chest.
I can hear his heartbeat-fast, steady, matching mine.
His arms wrap around me, and for the first time in a long time...
I feel safe.
Protected.
And I think about how sweet he is.
How different he is from everything people say.
How different he is from everything I've known.
And how, without meaning to, he's slipping under my skin.
Love can make us incredibly happy... and at the same time, it can terrify us.
No one tells you this part:
the more something makes you feel alive, the more you fear losing it.
The fear of getting hurt.
The fear of letting someone in so deeply they can touch the most fragile part of you.
The fear of losing someone right when you're starting to fall for them-when the thread is still thin, but already impossible to break without bleeding.
Because love is like that.
It lights a fire inside you you didn't know existed, a warmth that changes you.
But that same fire... can burn you.
It can consume you if one day the feeling fades, if the person leaves, if everything you believed in crumbles in your hands.
And then you wonder if it's worth it.
If risking everything for something you can't control makes any sense.
Because love is never a certainty.
It's a closed box.
And until you find the courage to open it, you'll never know what's inside.
It could be the greatest happiness of your life.
Or the deepest wound.
But that's how it is with everything that truly matters.
In the end, it all comes down to one question:
How much are we willing to risk?
How much courage do we have, knowing we could burn at any moment?
Knowing we could fall, lose ourselves, get hurt...
but also knowing we might find something worth every single risk.
Maybe that's the point.
Love isn't for those who want to stay untouched.
It's for those who are willing to tremble, to trust, to let go.
For those who understand that fear isn't an obstacle... but proof that what you're feeling is real.
And for the first time, I feel like I might have that courage.
That I might open that box.
That I might risk burning...
if you're on the other side.
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