When I get home, it’s already evening.
I set the shopping bags on the little table by the door, trying not to make too much noise.
Mom is on the couch.
Her hair is clipped up the way she does when she’s tired, and her glasses are sliding down her nose as she looks over some papers spread across the coffee table. Bills. Deadlines. The usual things we pretend aren’t crushing us.
I walk over and hug her from behind, pressing a kiss to her cheek.
“Hi, Mom.”
She turns toward me and smiles, one of those smiles that softens her eyes.
“Hi, sweetheart. You’re finally home.”
“I went shopping with Maddie and the girls.”
I gesture toward the bags with a half‑smile.
She looks at them and nods.
“Oh, so that’s what those are. Did you have fun?”
“Yeah. You know how it is with them… we’re always laughing.”
Mom goes back to the papers, and I can see the tension she always tries to hide.
“What are you looking at?” I ask.
“Nothing, honey. Just the usual things to pay. Don’t worry about it.”
“Mom, of course I worry. You know I work because I want to help you. I’ll get my paycheck in a few days.”
She sighs, takes off her glasses, and sets them on the table along with the paperwork.
“I know. But let’s not talk about that now.”
Then she motions me closer, like she wants to pull me into a moment we never have time for.
“Come here. Sit with me for a bit.”
She wraps an arm around my shoulder and pulls me close.
“We never have time to just be together.”
I rest my head on her shoulder.
I feel her warmth, her scent, that feeling you only get at home.
“You’re right,” I murmur. “We’re always rushing.”
“So,” she says after a moment, “any news? How’s university going?”
I sigh.
“Good… the usual. I’m just really tired. But I have to push through. This year I’ll finally finish and get to do what I really love.”
She looks at me with those eyes that seem to remember everything about me, even the things I forget.
“Yeah… all that time already gone.”
She smiles, but there’s a hint of nostalgia.
“When did you grow up so fast? You’ll always be my little girl. Someone should stop time.”
She laughs, and the sound warms my chest.
“Don’t worry,” I say, laughing too. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily, even now that I’m an adult.”
She shakes her head, amused, then her tone shifts.
“And what about the rest? Anything you want to tell me?”
“Nothing, Mom. You know my life is always the same.”
She gives me a sideways look, the one I know too well.
“I don’t know… maybe some boy hanging around?”
“Mooom…”
I cover my face with my hand, embarrassed.
“What?” she laughs. “What did I say? It’s normal at your age. And you’ve seemed a little distracted lately…”
She says it jokingly, but my stomach flips.
Kai flashes through my mind like lightning, and I immediately stand up from the couch.
“Okay, Mom,” I say with a tight smile, “it’s dinner time. What are we eating?”
I change the subject so fast I almost trip over my own words.
She raises her hands in surrender.
“Alright, alright. None of my business.”
Then she points a finger at me, laughing.
“But you’re not telling me everything.”
“Mom!” I protest, but I’m laughing too.
After dinner I stay with her for a while, then when I realize how late it is, I get up and head to my room.
I undress, close myself in the bathroom, and let the hot water run over me.
The shower is the only moment I can actually breathe.
When I come out, wrapped in my robe, I twist my wet hair into a towel. I’m about to go to my room when I hear my phone vibrating on the sink.
I grab it without thinking, wiping the water dripping down my neck.
A notification lights up the screen.
I pick it up.
I look at the display.
Kai started following you.
I freeze.
Everything inside me stops.
“No… no, no, no…” I whisper.
The towel on my head slips off and falls to the floor with a wet thud.
As I try to put the phone back on the sink, I lose my balance and almost fall.
I grab the edge of the counter, my heart pounding way too fast for something so stupid.
“What do I do now?” I say out loud, as if someone could answer.
I rub my face.
“Okay, I’ll pretend nothing happened. It’s nothing. It’s just… a notification.”
I gesture to myself like an idiot.
“Yeah. I’ll pretend nothing happened. Done.”
I put on my comfiest pajamas, turn on the hairdryer, try to focus on the noise, but the notification keeps echoing in my head.
When I turn the dryer off, the silence is even worse.
I look at myself in the mirror—messy, damp, ridiculous.
My cheeks are flushed, my eyes too shiny.
“You’re not helping if you do this, Kai…” I whisper.
I throw myself onto the bed, plug in my phone, and roll onto one side.
Then the other.
Then back again.
I want to sleep.
I want to shut my brain off.
I want to stop thinking about him.
But the temptation is too strong.
In the end, I give in.
I grab my phone.
I open his profile.
His world explodes in front of me: parties, clubs, motorcycles, lights, laughter.
And girls.
So many girls.
Beautiful girls.
They look like they walked out of an ad campaign.
“Well… a quiet life, clearly,” I mutter, unable to hold back the sarcasm.
I keep scrolling.
And the more I look, the more I regret it.
“Okay, terrible idea.”
I put the phone back to charge and stare at the ceiling.
Whatever is happening between us is wrong.
I know it.
We’re opposites.
Two worlds that shouldn’t even touch.
And yet… we’re drawn to each other.
Out of control.
“Whatever… it’s just a phase. Nothing serious. Why am I even worried?”
I say it to convince myself, but it doesn’t work.
Maybe I want it to be something serious.
I keep staring at the ceiling.
My head spins a little—maybe from exhaustion, maybe from everything else.
I make a face and sigh.
“He has so many girls around him…”
I say it out loud, like an accusation.
Then I shake my head.
“Okay, I don’t care. I’m not jealous. We’re not dating.”
Sure.
Right.
“Ugh…”
I pull the sheet over my face, as if it could protect me from everything I’m feeling.
I turn on my side again, trying to sleep.
But his name keeps pulsing in my mind.
Sometimes I wonder how it’s possible for someone to stir something inside you so quickly.
Someone you barely know, someone who shouldn’t matter at all, and yet… one gesture, one name on a screen, and your whole body fills with emotions you never asked for.
Emotions come fast.
They hit you.
They confuse you.
They make you lose control of your actions, your thoughts, even your breathing.
And you know it’s risky.
You know you’re too different, that you could get hurt, that you could burn yourself.
There are a thousand reasons to keep your distance—it would be easier to shut everything down before it even begins.
And yet, those emotions keep knocking, stubborn, like they want to be heard no matter what.
So I ask myself:
what are we supposed to do?
Let them in, even if they scare us, or push them away and go against ourselves?
Would it protect us… or destroy us?
I don’t know.
I only know that while I try to convince myself it means nothing, those emotions keep showing up, insistently, like they refuse to leave me alone.
And they’re louder than I want them to be.
Maybe that’s the point: emotions don’t wait for your permission, they don’t ask for the right moment, they don’t care if you’re ready.
They arrive, they carve out space, and all you can do is decide whether to listen… or pretend you don’t hear them.
63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqjU3ytUVP
63Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3oFHL8TY8
and then Add to home screen.