陽光很刺眼,一點也不暖。40Please respect copyright.PENANAyTwmqNCcwy
他站在墓前,墓碑很新,兩座並排,一座刻著老師的名字,一座是妹妹的。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxmDmLkQvPg
他站了多久了?40Please respect copyright.PENANANRoCgomFNW
不知道。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKiwJX56Qwy
有人在說話,有人在啜泣,有人拍拍他肩膀,他全聽不見。40Please respect copyright.PENANAmpSiMBuQW4
世界像被挖空,只剩風聲與土的顏色。40Please respect copyright.PENANAILZPExRmYu
—40Please respect copyright.PENANA1T94RyETf3
他不知道自己還能做什麼,也不知道該相信什麼。40Please respect copyright.PENANAPll2SrfODm
他的刀救不了人,他的信念讓他失去了所有。40Please respect copyright.PENANAN9SBd2QJT2
這樣的世界,還有什麼意義?40Please respect copyright.PENANAEbvH5QiMZZ
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAkMw7QlOwBq
他忽然想起妹妹說過的話:「你是那朵花啊。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAzy976enFBu
現在想想,那根本是笑話。40Please respect copyright.PENANArvctsKHQ6L
花開在什麼都沒有的地方,不是堅強,是荒謬。40Please respect copyright.PENANAEiXcS0kzj0
他低下頭,輕聲說了一句:40Please respect copyright.PENANAm2tfYWz7tN
「就這樣讓一切都結束吧.......」40Please respect copyright.PENANAVpErtthEFJ
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAz4zYH5OeQD
他不知道自己是怎麼回到醫館的。40Please respect copyright.PENANAoQ4kEcQ0Sq
他輕輕的打開了門,門軸發出一聲輕微的吱嘎。空氣中仍帶著乾燥草藥的氣味——淡淡的蓮葉香、苦艾、熟悉的酒精味道。
這些氣味從小伴著他長大,如今卻讓他作嘔。40Please respect copyright.PENANA5lleb87bkF
櫃檯上的帳本靜靜躺著,半開著的頁面停在那天妹妹替流浪漢記錄的診療單。
筆畫柔軟的,是她的。40Please respect copyright.PENANAATL6EBHFyL
他站在原地,沒動。整間診所安靜得像棺材。40Please respect copyright.PENANA8iIOHShuzg
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAvc5baglzSc
他走過紫羅蘭,眼神沒停留。它葉片微卷,在陽光下靜靜等待,卻沒人回應。40Please respect copyright.PENANASAvMpzRTut
他走進診療室,每踏一步,腳下木地板發出的聲響都像過去的記憶在追趕他。
椅子還是她坐的那張椅子,茶杯裡還有她喝了一半的菊花茶,早已冷了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVRMGDZFFaF
他坐下,環顧四周。40Please respect copyright.PENANAz34cYkZkPz
這些年他手術、救人、縫傷口,全在這裡。但現在,這裡只剩牆上的影子,空空如同他心中被挖空的某處。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVPSXUm5xnx
他垂下眼,看見銀色的手術刀安靜地躺在托盤上。40Please respect copyright.PENANAJrZVcFKj7C
他將它拿起,習慣性地握好刀柄。40Please respect copyright.PENANA2zifMkTQgg
重量熟悉,觸感冰涼,刀柄上還有他長年的握痕。40Please respect copyright.PENANA6Sl26dGxKT
「我曾用它救過人,也用它……傷過人。」40Please respect copyright.PENANApchGydefdK
他的聲音嘶啞,像藏著什麼說不出口的東西。40Please respect copyright.PENANAzQjav3g1hD
「但現在我想明白了……救人那部分,是我自己騙自己的。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAYI2Brl8NRy
「這把刀,真正準確、從不失手的功能——」40Please respect copyright.PENANA3fYrbfWv9U
他抬起頭,眼裡空洞得像個深井。40Please respect copyright.PENANAKQalODVYEJ
「就是傷人。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAsX1SDFe56a
—40Please respect copyright.PENANA8QY0fPmVcJ
他的手抬起,刀尖貼上自己的胸口,位置剛好對準心臟。40Please respect copyright.PENANAu447UFDnmw
深吸一口氣,微微一笑。那笑,近乎平靜。40Please respect copyright.PENANASriFNsXP9Y
「那就讓它完成最後一次手術吧。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAoeK1ps53kj
他目光空洞,低聲呢喃:40Please respect copyright.PENANAaPQqUEW2Ro
「……妳不在了,我留下來做什麼?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAc5xd43Ej7V
「妳相信的東西、妳的選擇、妳的光……最後換來的,是死亡啊。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAmLcdWsG9Uc
他苦笑,笑得像是從深淵裡傳來的回聲。40Please respect copyright.PENANAO6mr2JgLOJ
「什麼都沒有了……這樣的世界,還有什麼好相信的?」40Please respect copyright.PENANApx9gSykZv9
刀尖又往內一分。40Please respect copyright.PENANA4xM9KqYQRo
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAzCjnfksAHR
門被猛然撞開,響聲在寂靜中震耳欲聾。40Please respect copyright.PENANAK5EWvMoVVI
「你在做什麼?!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAMCYnuYHaLC
流浪漢一拐一拐地衝進來,還沒等他反應,就猛地撲上來,一把奪下那把刀。40Please respect copyright.PENANA6qAe1I6FT7
刀身在兩人手間劃過一道細小的傷口,鮮血飛濺在地。40Please respect copyright.PENANASenI0jaGwc
哥哥沒有反抗,只是站著,任憑那人從他手中搶走那熟悉的重量。40Please respect copyright.PENANAT8BhfyAC1k
他的眼神空洞如故,像是刀被搶走的不是武器,而是他最後剩下的信念。40Please respect copyright.PENANAqwJaYVewE6
流浪漢跌坐在地上,喘著粗氣,把那把刀甩到角落。40Please respect copyright.PENANAto4KPXSk0G
他仰起頭,看著眼前這個男人,臉色蒼白,站得筆直卻像早已倒塌。40Please respect copyright.PENANAaOWsVNVhfA
他咬緊牙,拳頭緊握,終於怒吼出聲——40Please respect copyright.PENANAGyIoMOaKCg
「這算什麼?!你想就這樣死了?!你覺得她想看到你變成這樣嗎?!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAKFjJYDQvXs
哥哥憤怒的回擊。40Please respect copyright.PENANArBl7yPuh5R
「你又懂什麼?!她已經死了!!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAq1DjkLNNv9
「她為了那個根本不該活下來的人,丟下我就這樣死了!!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAkyHHLfZUAS
—40Please respect copyright.PENANA4gWeskcQEg
「你知道嗎?她當時是笑著的!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAP5q7u3EruF
「她那麼相信我,結果我連她都救不回來!」40Please respect copyright.PENANA1rr3XbJo9i
「她的信念,害死了她啊!!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAQxsCfYGfeP
「這樣的相信,有什麼意義?!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAnDBCZv26z6
「她死了,就什麼都沒有了!!什麼希望、什麼光,全都見鬼去了啊!!!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAwPA6yS4XYw
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAwI1emYA0Pd
他嘶吼著,像一頭無法控制的猛獸。40Please respect copyright.PENANAlqgtiMkjAk
眼淚與血混著,模糊了視線,他用力一拳砸在牆上,聲音震響整間診所。40Please respect copyright.PENANA3ATdiGG6mg
「如果她選擇放棄那個殺手,她就不會死!!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAbio4puqetT
「如果她選擇冷漠一點、現實一點——她就還活著!!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAj9wvAHdDHF
「可她選擇了去相信一個殺手!她到底在想什麼啊啊啊!!」40Please respect copyright.PENANATr2lTejjAu
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAVZwG0iLJDC
流浪漢沉默了幾秒,然後低聲說:40Please respect copyright.PENANAMcEKoqxwqI
「她知道她可能會死。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAErqIATvc3k
「但她還是伸出了手。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAuLjjHwXRB9
—40Please respect copyright.PENANA9RtZ6HcKHA
哥哥猛地抬頭,眼中全是怒火。40Please respect copyright.PENANA8lqtwG28Ho
「所以你贊成她去送死?!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAXhZmRcblE0
「你也覺得一個人該為了所謂的『相信』去死?!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAmvi60f9klM
「人死了什麼都沒了啊!!她這樣值得嗎?!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAa7heMqCAxw
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAuVoacEFCTY
「值不值得不是你說的。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAXtXwpifsnJ
流浪漢的聲音低沉但堅定。40Please respect copyright.PENANAaoLBzVT3zq
「她救我……你還記得嗎?那時候你只想截肢,是她擋在你前面,說服你把我的腿救回來!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAiQAxGwd3hj
流浪漢緊緊盯著他,眼圈發紅,呼吸沉重。40Please respect copyright.PENANAM88rz4eJnW
「你知道嗎……那時我早就放棄了」流浪漢沙啞地開口,聲音低得像是從喉嚨裡磨出來的。40Please respect copyright.PENANALXfR4PTaUb
「我以前活得像隻老鼠,鑽水溝、睡垃圾堆、挨罵、挨打、被人吐口水,那都不算什麼。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAE8qarJrPVC
「真正讓我覺得自己活該爛掉的,是每個人看我的眼神,都是一樣的。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAKL9zkrVA9p
他指了指自己滿是傷痕的臉和那條瘸腿。40Please respect copyright.PENANAyuXUAhW8bs
「噁心、骯髒、沒救了。那就是我,在這個世界的位置。」40Please respect copyright.PENANA2tJXITmY3E
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAM2dtnG9q4D
他抬起頭,看著哥哥的臉,眼神裡閃著濁光。40Please respect copyright.PENANAs4h23gjvg7
「但你妹妹不是。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAej3JPgouU4
「她是第一個,看著我,不皺眉頭,不後退,也不問我怎麼會變成這樣的人。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAOGldUNYtSj
「她只問我:『痛不痛?』」40Please respect copyright.PENANAX6aDekGJUg
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAqfydRwWbJZ
他深吸一口氣,像是要壓住胸口那一口堵了太久的情緒。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbMJLocseM1
「她的手,那麼乾淨,卻不怕碰我這條爛腿;她的眼睛那麼亮,卻沒有一絲嫌惡。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAikFZhkEMHd
「你知道那種感覺嗎?像是整個人從地底下,被拉到有陽光的地方。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAbbTFMdPNy6
「我那時想,如果這世界還有人像她,那也許我……還能夠擁有一些價值。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAltZdq0i7Nu
—40Please respect copyright.PENANARJ8i8Wclah
他的喉頭微微顫抖,嘴角抿得死緊。40Please respect copyright.PENANApUgq66qVRd
「她明明比我更應該活下來的……結果她死了,我卻還在這裡喘氣...」40Please respect copyright.PENANAsD4tfbDmfk
「我真的不懂,這世界到底是怎麼運作的……但我知道一件事——她不該白死。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAuaQDvc1Owg
「她讓我相信自己還有價值,那種感覺,你永遠不會明白。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAYLhrp5GEws
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAkqQtoISlOA
「你選擇放棄她的信念,那你就真的讓她白死了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAe2iq20aD86
哥哥全身顫抖,手握成拳。40Please respect copyright.PENANAN05OwyUVrb
「我不要她的信念!!我只要她活著!!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAaqNsrLGE6I
「我只想要她活著……」40Please respect copyright.PENANAABoOYDSKmD
—40Please respect copyright.PENANA8oCvFYMkbe
聲音一寸寸低下去,終於破碎成哭泣。40Please respect copyright.PENANA0W9VlkFhYG
他蹲坐在地,手還緊抓著那把刀,身體發抖如落葉。40Please respect copyright.PENANA9xBSMsvhhc
「她走了……我什麼都沒有了……」40Please respect copyright.PENANAun02XqsRil
—40Please respect copyright.PENANASuJSvJHecz
流浪漢終於開口,聲音沙啞卻堅定:40Please respect copyright.PENANAcC5Do2TprM
「她死了,是啊……但她走之前,還在相信。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAUli98lhJoa
「那不叫愚蠢,那是勇氣。」40Please respect copyright.PENANA4eNlFf1rFr
哥哥癱坐在地,喃喃著:「死了就什麼都沒有了……」40Please respect copyright.PENANAWrd7EATLep
流浪漢走近他,蹲下與他平視:40Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1ySjHw8UN
「你錯了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAkkORBQVWm8
「你問她為什麼明知會死還要救人?因為她看到我、看到妳,看到任何人,都覺得值得。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAqBHmPwzNgZ
—40Please respect copyright.PENANA13oRGdTQjX
他頓了頓,眼神淚光微閃:40Please respect copyright.PENANA31lM0sDqfJ
「她不是死了就沒了,她把希望,種在你身上了。」40Please respect copyright.PENANA2612DvRfqZ
「你可以繼續怨、繼續問、繼續逃,但你只要還活著——」40Please respect copyright.PENANAjZcj3Qnq2y
「她就還在。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAHDbc3a9tDQ
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAp0HnRvV6yW
哥哥身體微微顫抖,像什麼在心底崩塌,也像什麼正在悄悄重組。40Please respect copyright.PENANALDBb2T1nrV
他終於低聲問:40Please respect copyright.PENANAu3WO3hou3Q
「我現在這樣……還能救得了誰……?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAEOkPQ6FrQS
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAHB45iqspVX
流浪漢站起來,看著他,語氣溫柔:40Please respect copyright.PENANAzWqTC2Bfk7
「先救你自己。」40Please respect copyright.PENANA3WuUACSjMV
「然後……再去救那些,她來不及救的人。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAIFhnSUsqeH
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAFiLF8v9GZA
他蜷縮著,像是快要碎了的玻璃,渾身無聲地顫抖。
直到某個瞬間,他無意間抬頭,看見窗邊微微搖曳的什麼。40Please respect copyright.PENANAEQkNBZQbDC
一抹紫——淡得近乎透明。40Please respect copyright.PENANAMuogsjNEaX
他怔住了,視線緩緩聚焦。40Please respect copyright.PENANAi6qGOveaSz
紫羅蘭。40Please respect copyright.PENANACrBhjDBQzf
那盆在她死後幾乎枯萎的花,不知何時悄悄開了一朵,像極了她臨終前最後一眼的笑容——帶著淚,卻那樣溫柔。40Please respect copyright.PENANAAm3sFkHp1j
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAfcwS9eWQ4e
他的手指顫抖地伸出,卻不敢碰,只輕聲喃喃:40Please respect copyright.PENANADn647WgCt5
「……為什麼,還能開……」40Please respect copyright.PENANAn4D2AJHdhT
那光太微弱了,卻又像某種頑強的提醒——
你還活著。她的信念,也還活著。40Please respect copyright.PENANAOduYhvIRgU
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAnPGWAqGqNp
「你不是為了她活下去。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAxQNzu1rFEu
「你是為了你自己。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAH4iNy70Qp5
「為了去理解她,到底在相信什麼。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAKC71xlDfs6
「她相信的不是光明的世界,而是黑暗中的人心。」40Please respect copyright.PENANA2FsQiAu5DT
「她相信你……有一天會懂。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAogXi0Poktd
「不為了結果,而是因為相信,是人唯一能不被這世界吞噬的方式。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAWSTUBfGVQA
—40Please respect copyright.PENANAw9noZq8Xaw
他望著那朵花,像看著遺書裡最後一行未寫完的字。40Please respect copyright.PENANAVALg2AMwIA
過了很久,他才低聲開口:40Please respect copyright.PENANATBS16eLJd3
「……我還是不懂。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAimiZOgMmyJ
流浪漢沒有馬上回答,只是走到他身旁,坐下來,陪他一起望著那花。40Please respect copyright.PENANAaDDVothO5X
「那就別急著懂。」
「先活著,才能有明白的那天。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAcYOh8oQiYW
他補了一句,像是對哥哥,也像是對自己。40Please respect copyright.PENANAEmiHIhr63E
—40Please respect copyright.PENANA0S9y0s9cdb
窗外的風輕輕地吹進來,帶起花葉輕顫。
餘光之中,那朵紫羅蘭靜靜綻放,不問結果,只求存在。
ns216.73.216.253da2


