Although Alicia was only in the hospital for a few days, it seemed like weeks. The changes that had occurred in just a matter of days were mind-boggling. One minute she was sharing her apartment with her uncle, a kind and quiet guy who looked out for her yet always let her do her own thing. Next, she was on the streets looking for a place to die without interruption. Then, finally, she was in the hospital, with a gorgeous doctor telling her she would give her a place to live. How did she get so unlucky and so lucky at the same time?
She had been so determined to die. So determined. There was simply no way she could make it on her own, and even if she could, the thought of going it alone—especially now that she was getting older—scared her more than she’d care to admit.
The thought of actually going to live with Doctor Blakely excited her and rekindled her desire to live. In some ways, she wanted to live more than she had before she’d lost her beloved uncle. But the idea of it also made her a bit nervous. Each time she saw the tall and lovely doctor, the more she realized she was attracted to her. This made her more self-aware. She worried about how the doctor would perceive her and whether she could live up to her expectations or not.
She must perceive you in at least somewhat of a positive way or else she wouldn’t be taking you in like this, she told herself. But just why was she taking her in anyway? To say that the good doctor was “nice” or “kind” or “caring” didn’t seem to cut it. It was like there were no words to describe the depth of her wonderfulness.
But why her?
She wondered if it would be best to hide the fact that she’d come to have a crush on her. From what she could tell, the doctor wasn’t the least bit prejudiced. She’d once browsed through her Facebook profile out of curiosity, which was mostly public, and based on her travels and the various types of people pictured in her numerous photo albums, Alyssa was a very open-minded individual. So no, Alicia didn’t expect her to freak out and toss her out on the street if she found out about her growing fondness and lust for her, but just in case it might make her a bit uncomfortable being under the same roof and all that, she felt it best not to be so obvious. She could never have her for more than a friend anyway, for the good doctor appeared to be dating a Black guy, and even if she weren’t, Alicia would never guess her to be into women. Open-minded, yes. A lesbian, no.
The possibility of Alyssa looking her up online and stumbling onto her personal blog made her a bit nervous. After mulling it over in her mind a moment longer, however, she decided not to worry about it, figuring that the doctor wouldn’t be that curious about her. It’s not like the blog had anything damning in it that could be used against her anyway. She was just unusually shy and self-conscious when it came to those she had a crush on, and as innocent as her words might be, expressing her day-to-day life and mostly mundane, ordinary things made her blush a bit at the thought of the good doc reading any of it.
She sighed and glanced out the window at the setting sun. Alyssa hadn’t made it in to see her that day, as she said might be the case, given her busy schedule. She’d hoped, nonetheless, that the doctor would surprise her. Now, all she would have to accompany her throughout the night were her thoughts and the sounds of the nurses bustling about outside her room.
Her mind became a playground of sorts when she wasn’t reading one of the books on her Kindle, which she’d had in her purse all along. Some lucky person wasn’t going to get a free Kindle after all, since she hadn’t killed herself, and Nakia (and God knows who else) wouldn’t get the belongings she’d stored in her house.
She’d also had her smartphone with her, but that was all she carried gadget-wise.
She had fun imagining what living with the hot doctor might be like. How much time would they spend together? What would they do when they were together? The endless possibilities excited her. Then again, how endless could they be?
She was a little worried about how pressured she might feel. The crush she had on her alone would likely make her feel pressured into saying and doing the right things. But she would have a new kind of pressure on her, and that was to seek employment outside of the house. She hadn’t worked outside the home in years, and this would mean a huge change for her—not that losing her uncle and moving in with someone she barely knew, crush or not, wasn’t enough of a change.
Then her mind took her places she didn’t want to go, like to the morning she awoke bright and early to find her uncle stiff, cold, and very much dead in his bed. He was supposed to be up by 7 a.m. that morning. They were going to go out to eat and then do some grocery shopping. To add guilt to her sorrow was the fact that he’d mentioned having chest pain the night before and she’d done absolutely nothing at all about it. Okay, so all she could’ve done was suggest getting it checked out, in which case he would have refused, but still, the guilt ate at her.
Her mind wandered onto other things as she tried to shift into a more comfortable position on the too-hard hospital bed. Earlier in the day, she’d learned that the man responsible for putting her where she momentarily was wouldn’t be a problem again for anyone in the future. He’d killed himself in jail while awaiting arraignment. She was relieved to hear this. She hadn’t wanted the hassle of having to go to court to testify against the bastard, and once you crossed into this level of violence, you were no longer human as far as Alicia was concerned. You were an animal instead. Anyone who could pull out a gun in public and shoot at someone, not caring who they hit along the way, didn’t deserve to live. Had he lived, he would have cost the taxpayers a ton of money while locked up. Once he was released, he would have once again become a threat to society. Alicia felt bad only for the man’s family and the innocent victims.
All she felt for the shooter was anger. Had the bullet been just a tad more to the right, she might not even have an arm anymore. So as far as she was concerned, those who insisted that suicide was never an answer could go to hell and stay there. It most certainly was an answer if you were too expensive to keep in jail yet too dangerous to turn loose.
She wasn’t sure how late it was, but Alicia was sick of waiting for sleep that just wouldn’t come. Careful not to bump her bandaged arm, she slowly pulled herself upright and out of bed. She threw on the robe and slippers that someone had brought her (Alyssa?) and then went to use the bathroom.
After she peed, she slowly shuffled toward her door. The brightly lit corridor irritated her eyes a bit as she looked both left and right. The place seemed almost eerily silent and deserted.
Deciding it didn’t matter which direction she went, she headed one way and slowly walked down the corridor. Most of the hospital room doors were open, but she didn’t see much as she passed by them. Most rooms were dark because most patients were sleeping. Some were up reading or watching TV.
She reached the end of the corridor and then turned around and walked back up it, past her room and past the nurses’ station. She wasn’t ready to get back into the bed she’d swear she’d been lying in for months.
She heard movement behind her and whirled around to find a couple of nurses heading in the direction she’d just come from. One of them spotted her.
“Everything okay, ma’am?”
Alicia nodded. “Yeah. Just couldn’t sleep.”
The nurse smiled, nodded, and moved on in the opposite direction.
As she approached the other end of the corridor, two female voices could now be heard speaking to each other. Alicia stopped where she was. She was unable to make out their words at first. Then she saw partway into what appeared to be a break room. A plump blond nurse with close-cropped hair was sitting with her back facing her.
She and another woman she couldn’t see from where she stood seemed to be discussing their kids at first, and then the blond asked, “So the Falkenberg woman is leaving in the morning, huh?”
“Yeah. That’s the one that got shot, right?” asked the woman out of Alicia’s view.
“Yup. Guy killed himself in jail, so I heard.”
The one out of her line of sight laughed and said, “One less problem for society to have to deal with.”
“Yeah, that’s what I say,” agreed the blond. “Not so sure about Miss Falkenberg, though.”
Alicia blinked with surprise. Not so sure of me? And why is that, other than my being on the receiving end of one of the sicko’s bullets?
“What do you mean?” asked Invisible.
Yeah, what do you mean?
“I don’t know, I just find it rather strange that her doctor is taking her in.”
“What’s wrong with that? She has no place to go. Besides, she’s dropping her as a patient.”
“Yeah, but I’ve never known this particular doctor to step beyond the call of duty like that, and I worry there may be consequences for it in the end.”
“Like what? Something wrong with the woman?”
“Not exactly,” she heard the blond woman say as she rose from her seat. Obviously, break was over. “But there’s just something a little off about her. I know she just went through a real nightmare with being shot at and all that, but I’d hate to see the doctor end up on the wrong side of the nightmare herself, so to speak.”
Alicia was tempted to confront the woman and ask what was “off” about her, but didn’t want the confrontation to get back to Alyssa. Therefore, she scurried back to her room, where sleep continued to elude her.
ns216.73.216.236da2
and then Add to home screen.