Thursday, June 26
I awoke before she did. My eyes fluttered open and the ceiling above me came into focus. A glance at the bedside clock said it was 8:30. Despite my ordeal, I found myself quite hungry. My stomach growled as I turned my head towards Kya. She lay sprawled on her stomach, her head turned towards me. She looked good even in her sleep. Nonetheless, anxiety began to set in as I worried about what lay ahead for me this bright, sunny day. Even more unsettling was the thought of breaking away. How would I do this, and when would I be able to?
Kya moaned and began to stir. She sniffled, shook her head of sleep, then slowly turned her head towards me. At first, she seemed confused. She looked at me as if I were a complete stranger and couldn’t figure out how in the world I ended up in bed beside her. She looked down towards my feet, then back up at my face.
Finally, she spoke. “Damn, I forgot to cuff you to the headboard last night.”
“Don’t worry,” I said, trying to sound carefree and casual. “I’m not going anywhere. You said it yourself; I want to be with you.”
She lay her head back down but kept her eyes on me.
“Even so, I’m pretty famished. Can I make us something for breakfast?”
“No, I’ll get it. Go do your thing in the bathroom.”
I got up, emptied my bladder, and brushed my teeth. I came out of the bathroom to find her still lying in bed, eyes following my every movement.
“Get dressed.”
“Yes, boss,” I said, trying to sound cheery. I threw on a pair of shorts and a halter.
She sat up and threw the covers off her gorgeous body. I savored the sight of her before she swung her feet over the side of the bed and stood up. From the drawer in the nightstand by her side of the bed, she pulled out a pair of handcuffs.
“What’s that for?”
“I gotta use the bathroom and I’m not leaving you alone for a second. Nor am I taking you in there with me.”
“But Kya—”
“Don’t you fucking start with me, girl!”
My heart took off on a race. “I’m sorry,” I said, extending my wrists. The last thing I wanted to do was get her going. I had to win her over and get out, even if that meant being subjected to such humiliation and degradation for a while.
She slapped the cuffs on and went to use the bathroom. A few minutes later she returned, threw on a white terry cloth robe that she tied at the waist, then removed the cuffs.
“Come on, follow me,” she said.
I followed her out of the room. She unlocked the doggie door and let Yogi in. He eagerly greeted us, tail wagging a mile a minute. He and I followed Kya into the kitchen where she poured food into his bowl from a large bag and refreshed his water.
“Have a seat,” she told me.
I hopped up onto one of the stools as she set to work.
“You don’t want any help?” I asked.
“No, I don’t. Thanks anyway.”
She threw some waffles in the toaster and began brewing coffee. Then she reached for some flavored oatmeal and began to prepare us each a bowl.
Her cell phone rang. She picked it up off the counter. “Hello.” Pause. “Yes, this is Officer Jackson.” Pause. “Ok, I’ll look into it.” She hung up and looked over at me. “Come on, eat your food. You said you were hungry.”
“I’m eating,” I assured her, though as hungry as I was, I found it a bit hard to swallow.
She pulled the waffles out of the toaster and then went into her office. I finished my oatmeal and put the bowl in the sink. Then I split the waffles, placing them on two different plates.
She emerged from her office. “Now, what did I tell you? Didn’t I tell you I didn’t need your help?”
My head snapped up to look at her so fast I could’ve broken my neck. She was holding a very long chain. My heartbeat sped up again.
“I just—”
“Sit down!”
I got back onto the stool as she took syrup and butter from the refrigerator.
“Kya, you gotta learn to trust me.”
“Stop telling me what I gotta do and eat.”
“I’m full.”
She glanced over at me. “Eat at least half of that.”
Slowly, I managed to force down part of a waffle after smearing syrup and butter on it. All I could stomach from there on out was the coffee.
She cuffed me to the headboard while she showered. Then she released me while she dressed in a pair of culottes and a T-shirt.
“Come on,” she said after she ran a brush through her hair. I followed her out to the kitchen where she cuffed one end of the chain to the door handle on the refrigerator and the other end to me. “This will give you enough slack to reach food, water, and the bathroom off the den. Oh, and I’ll cuff your left hand since you’re right-handed.”
“Gee, how generous of you.”
She gave me a look of warning. Not much later, she grabbed her satchel, threw some folders and other loose papers in it, tucked her gun in her waistband that her shirt covered, and left.
Once she was gone, the silence engulfed me like a thick, warm winter blanket. Now what would I do? How was I to escape this hell?
As if to offer his sympathies, Yogi came in from outside, walked up to where I stood in the kitchen, and sat on his hind legs with a whine.
“Has she ever been this mean to you, boy?”
More whining.
“How am I ever going to get this chain off? I can’t just carry the refrigerator out in the scorching heat with nowhere to run to, can I?”
Even more whining.
With Yogi being careful not to trip over the chain as I dragged it around with me, I began searching through every cabinet and drawer in the kitchen. After going through the usual items one would have in their kitchen, I found nothing capable of breaking the chain. Not even any sharp knives, though I figured she had hidden those away. Still, they’d only damage the chain very slowly after days and days of me sawing away at it. She’d notice the damage to the links long before I could break through them. I needed a much quicker alternative.
By noon, my determination had turned to frustration. By late afternoon, right about when she returned, my frustration had turned to nervous despair. She found me crying hysterically on the couch in the den.
“What’s wrong?” she asked with concern, as if she’d totally forgotten the predicament she’d put me in.
“What do you think!” I wailed through teary eyes. “This is driving me crazy! I wish I could get it through to you that I really, really do love you. I don’t want to leave you, Kya, I don’t!”
“Ok, ok. Let’s just calm down and I’ll free you up right now, ok?”
I nodded, though I was still sobbing quite hard.
She set her satchel down on the coffee table and pulled the keys to the handcuffs out of her pocket. Sitting down next to me on the couch, she unlocked the cuffs, letting them and the chain they were attached to clank to the floor at our feet. Then she pulled me into her arms.
“It’s ok, sweetie, don’t cry. I’m here now. Everything will be just fine.”
I let her hold me and stroke the tenseness out of my muscles as she ran her hand up and down my back. She kissed the top of my head.
“It’s got to stay this way for a while, hon, so you just have to get used to it.”
“But why?” I asked, pulling back to look at her.
“Because it does. Until I know for sure that I can trust you, this is the way it stays. Now let’s not argue anymore, ok?” she said pleadingly, yet with firmness.
I said nothing.
“Look,” she said, standing up, “I want to get out of these sweaty clothes and get something refreshing to drink. Why don’t you come with me?”
Our first stop was the kitchen where she grabbed some iced tea, then I followed her into the bedroom where she got undressed and put some deodorant on.
She turned to face me. “Want to make love?”
Knowing that agreeing with her was the best thing to do at this point, I simply nodded my head, though without much enthusiasm.
“Are you sure?” she asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
Again I nodded.
“What do you really want, Sativa?”
I looked up at her. I want you to never hurt me again, I thought. I want to have a normal, loving relationship with you and go back to being your proud little wife. One who looks forward to spending every moment she can with you, knowing she’ll be forever safe and truly loved.
Instead, I said, “Whatever you want.”
“Well then,” she said, grabbing me by the wrist and yanking me towards her. “Let’s get it on and enjoy ourselves. Shall we?”
I nodded, though with reluctance. It was one of those things where you couldn’t imagine the thought of doing something until you actually began doing it. The further we got into our lovemaking—or sex, as I should call it—the more into it I became. Sex with Kya was like being thirstier than you realized. It was like taking a sip of water, thinking that just one or two swallows would do, but then finding that you need many swallows to quench a deep, desperate thirst that seemed to grow from the first few swallows. Kya had definitely become a physical addiction for me. One that could only be broken, along with the cycle of abuse, once I was gone and Kya was no longer a part of my life. I would miss the attraction and the sexual pleasure greatly, but I knew I couldn’t live chained like an animal, awaiting its master’s next fit of rage and wondering if I would survive it.
Later that night, while I sat on the den couch watching TV and Kya was in the kitchen fixing us an evening snack, the phone rang. Kya snatched it up off the counter.
“Oh, hi Mary.”
I turned my head towards Kya.
“Yes, we’re just fine,” Kya said with enthusiasm. “We’ve really patched things up, and well, we’ve actually been having quite a wonderful time.”
I got up and walked towards her as she paused to listen.
“Yes, I do feel tremendously guilty for my evil deeds, I assure you. I’ve learned by them, which is the best one can do. Meanwhile, I’m sure you’d like to talk to Sativa, so here she is.”
Kya handed me the phone as if it were a slimy, disgusting thing she could no longer stand to touch. Then she flashed me a killer look of warning.
I took the phone from her and said hello.
“Hi, how are you?” Mary asked.
I did my best to convince her all was well.
“Are you sure, Sativa, or do you want me to send the police out?”
“No, not at all. Kya’s right. We have patched things up and made a lot of progress, so don’t you worry a bit, ok? In fact, I’m sure Kya wouldn’t mind you visiting when you get back.”
Although Mary seemed to sense that deep down something wasn’t quite right, she remained cheerful throughout the remainder of our conversation, filling me in on the things she, José, and the kids had done and still planned to do.
When we hung up, Kya gave me a look of approval.
ns216.73.217.39da2
and then Add to home screen.