Sunday, June 22
The next few weeks were like a rollercoaster. Sometimes things were wonderful between us. Other times, I’d find her screaming at me for either the dumbest reasons or for reasons I couldn’t begin to fathom.
Sex was also unpredictable. At times it was fabulous, and other times it was painfully brutal. I found that the anticipation of impending abuse could be worse than the actual abuse itself.
When Kya wasn’t home to overhear, I’d discuss the matter with Mary and Andy. Both urged me to get out.
I knew that was just what I should do, but it wasn’t that easy. I wanted the relationship to work so badly that I hung on with hopes of improvement.
But things only got progressively worse.
It was a hot, sunny afternoon. Kya was out investigating something or someone. As I was dusting the house, I found myself in the room with the neatly stacked boxes, wondering what could possibly be in them. Paperwork from past and current cases? That’s what Kya had said they contained, and she told me not to go in them as they were supposed to be confidential. But still, my curiosity was beyond piqued. That much I was sure of.
Go on, check it out, I told myself. If you don’t, the curiosity will only keep eating at you and you’ll always wish you took a peek. So, not expecting Kya home anytime soon, I began snooping through the boxes.
Sure enough, they consisted of just what Kya said they would. There were cases pertaining to all sorts of investigations dealing with robbery, arson, sex crimes, and even murder.
I reached for the final box. It was at the very bottom of one of the stacks. I lifted its cover. The first thing I saw was numerous photographs of Kya at various ages, as well as those of her friends and family. She was such a tomboy, I thought with a smile as I held a picture of her going up to bat at a baseball game when she was somewhere in her teens.
As I dug through the pile of loose pictures, I hit upon some legal documents. I pulled them up, spilling some of the photos out over the edge of the box as I did so. There were three documents, all the same, all quite horrible. There were restraining orders that other women had taken out on Kya. One of them was Laci’s. The others belonged to ladies I’d never heard of. One was Dawn, and the other was Nikki. In the spaces available for the complainant to state why they were seeking the order of restraint, the claims were similar. They all said she was both physically and mentally abusive, unwilling to let them go easily when they wanted out of the relationship. They had been stalked for a while afterward. Kya apparently called them constantly, sent them mail, went to their doors, and did the very things she claimed Laci had done to her. Only there was legal documentation that said Kya was harassing Laci and none saying that Laci had harassed Kya. It didn’t matter. I knew who the real culprit was at this point. There was no doubt about it as the first serious thoughts of wanting out myself crept into my mind.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!”
Terror surged through me as my head snapped in Kya’s direction. There she stood, filling up most of the doorway. Her eyes were ablaze with rage and her fists were clenched at her sides. She breathed heavily.
“I-I got, I got curious,” I stammered, trembling pathetically.
“You got curious?” she screamed, stepping into the room.
I nodded shakily.
“Get up!”
I was shaking so badly that I couldn’t muster up enough strength in my legs to lift myself from the kneeling position I’d been in.
“Get the fuck up now!”
Somehow, I had gotten as high as only a few inches below my full height when she stepped forward and grabbed me, pulling me all the way up.
“Why didn’t you tell me about the restraining orders, Kya?” I dared to ask as I began backing out of the room. However, instead of receiving an answer, I received a blow to the head—one that nearly knocked me out.
“Stop!” I screamed.
“You just can’t seem to keep out of things, can you, little missy? You’re just going to be one problem after another, aren’t you?” she shouted.
“Please, Kya, don’t do this,” I whimpered as the pain in my head throbbed.
She backhanded me across the jaw.
I cried out in pain. I knew there was no way she’d let me call for help and that nearly an hour would pass before help could arrive anyway. Then what? This was a cop, after all.
She slowly raised a fist up over my head.
“NO!”
I spun on my heel and ran full speed toward the door. I dared to turn my head just long enough to see if Kya was behind me.
She wasn’t.
I threw open the side door and ran down the wooden steps without bothering to shut the door behind me or look for nearby rattlesnakes. Fortunately, Kya had left the gate open, though I could’ve hopped the fence if I absolutely had to. The neighbors to the side of us were supposed to be about four hundred feet away, yet they seemed like they were more like four hundred miles away. I ran and ran as fast as I could despite the burning heat and the sharp cramp in my side. The neighbors had no fences. All I had to do from there was hope they also didn’t have any mean dogs. Eventually, I reached the neighbor’s door without incident and knocked loudly. I heard a small dog start yipping. After what seemed like several minutes, an elderly gentleman opened the door. His wife and a small dark poodle were just a few feet behind him.
“Hush, Candy,” said the woman.
“Hi, I’m sorry to bother you, but I have an emergency and I need to use your phone.”
“What’s wrong?” the man asked.
“My girlfriend beat me up and I need to call the police.”
“Oh, dear,” said the woman.
“No,” the man said at the same time, shaking his head adamantly. “We don’t want to get involved. Sorry.” He began to shut the door on me.
“Oh, thanks,” I said sarcastically. “Tell that to the cops when I’m dead!”
The tumblers in the lock clicked into place just as she drove up. She skidded to a halt and then got out and peered at me across the rooftop of the car. “Get in, Sativa.”
“No way.”
“Get in,” she said more sternly. “This is between us, not the neighbors.”
I looked around me. The elderly couple stood watching from a window. A sinking sensation entered the pit of my stomach as I realized that there was only one other house nearby—the one behind us. And Kya was in no way, shape, or form going to let me run to it, not that anyone there would necessarily help me either. Desperation was turning to panic. My stomach felt queasy. I also felt angry at being so trapped and at having acted in haste when I made the foolish decision to move in with Kya so soon. How I wished I had listened to Andy!
Finally, I turned to her. “You know, you are the biggest mistake I ever made. You really are.”
“Get in and you can tell me all about it at home,” she said with an amused laugh.
“Oh, so you think this is funny?”
“Oh no, Sativa, not at all, I assure you.”
“And how are you going to drive that assurance into me? With your fists?”
“Sativa, I won’t touch you so long as you get in the car now.”
“Yeah, right.”
But what choice did I have? Where else could I go in the sweltering one-hundred-and-fifteen-degree weather?
“As soon as I can, I’m having Mary and Andy move me out,” I informed her as we both got into the car.
Without a word, she put the car in reverse, backed up, turned the wheel, then put it in drive and headed down the neighbor’s driveway and onto the road. We sailed past their property, about the length of a city block just like ours, then came upon our driveway at the corner of the property. She got out and locked the gate behind us after she pulled inside, then got back in the car and pulled it up alongside the house where we came to a jerky stop.
She turned to face me. “Now, you don’t have to come inside, but don’t you dare leave this property.”
We stared at each other for a moment.
“Understand?”
I nodded.
She got out of the car, slamming the door, and went into the house.
I’d have loved to have stayed outdoors a while, but it was just too damn hot.
Suddenly, movement caught my eye on the property behind us. Someone had emerged on horseback from the side of the house that faced opposite ours. In the distance, all I could see was that it was a dark-haired woman. Horse and rider headed west, becoming nothing more than mere specks on the horizon the further they went.
I turned my head and looked at our house. A sense of dread overwhelmed me. Even so, I couldn’t take the unbearable heat, especially cooped up in a car. So, despite my fears, I entered the house. It was deadly silent. I expected her to jump out at me any minute, but nothing stirred. Not even the air as I moved through it. I practically tiptoed through the house and into the master bathroom.
What I saw in the mirror reinforced my final decision. I had to get out. Kya was obviously never going to change, and I wasn’t going to subject myself to this anymore if I could help it.
As I touched my bruised and swollen face, Kya came up behind me. My heart jumped up into my throat. I thought I’d actually choke on it.
“I’m sorry, babe,” she said with red, teary eyes as she sniffled.
“Me too,” I said, turning to face her, “but this has got to end here.”
“I promise you, Sativa baby, I’ll never lay a hand on you again.”
“No, you don’t understand. It’s over. I’m not going to file any restraints, I’m not going to lodge any complaints, I’m just going to get out. I’ll call Mary. She’ll have a truck come out and haul me away in one sweep.”
She stared dumbly at me as I searched her vacant eyes.
“Kya?”
She blinked.
“Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Oh, Sativa, please don’t give up on me so soon. Please!” she pleaded, now sobbing like a child on the verge of punishment, begging for one last chance.
I wasn’t sure what to say or do. Perhaps the easiest way out would be to play like I didn’t really have any serious intentions of running. Then, as soon as she was out of the house, I’d make my getaway.
“Oh, Kya,” I said, letting her gather me into her arms. “Why are you like this?”
“Huh?” she asked, seemingly clueless as to what I was talking about.
I pulled back to look up at her, though Kya kept her hands clasped behind the small of my back.
“Why do you lose your temper?” I asked, running my hand lovingly through her hair.
“I don’t know, babe. I just don’t know. But I promise to change. I really do. Okay?”
I simply nodded, though I didn’t believe her. Oh, she’d change for a while, no doubt, but it’d only be a matter of time before she snapped again. I’d read enough books and heard enough stories about this sort of thing to know better. The rapist never struck just once or twice, and neither did the thief or the woman-beater—even if the woman-beater was sometimes a woman herself. It was a never-ending cycle that could only end if the tormentor was either killed or locked up.
“I know,” she said, clapping her hands together and putting on a merry smile. “Why don’t I make us a really nice dinner tonight, then we’ll watch a movie together.”
The thought of dinner and a movie with someone who had done what she’d done to me made me rather sick, but I nodded anyhow. There was simply nothing else I could do at the moment. I was afraid any resistance might send her back into a rage. I simply sat in the adjoining living room and watched her move about the kitchen. I was afraid to even offer to help.
She made us pork chops, cheesy rice, baked potatoes, sweet corn, and caramel pudding for dessert. Despite how delicious the food was, I could barely swallow. I tried to eat as much as I could to the drone of Kya’s consistent chatter about work, family, movies, current events, and whatever else she could think of so she wouldn’t be suspicious in any way.
Yogi flitted in and out of the room from time to time while we ate in hopes of some scraps being thrown his way.
After our meal, she locked the doggie door to keep Yogi outside and then had me lay in her arms on the couch as we watched a movie of her choosing. I tried not to think about how comfortable I had once felt in her arms, forcing myself to stay focused on her true colors.
Toward the end of the movie, she got up to make us decaffeinated mocha cappuccinos.
By the time the movie ended and the credits were rolling was when I realized she had slipped something into my drink. An overwhelming woozy sensation filled me. I tried to lift my head off the couch, but it was as if it were topped with a stack of invisible bricks.
“Wh-whadja do to me? Whadja give me?”
Kya rolled me aside and got up to turn the TV off.
“Guess by now you’re feeling rather out of it, aren’t you?”
“Whadja slip in my drink?”
“Oh, just a good old-fashioned sedative,” she said, still in her cheery voice. She stepped over to the couch.
I tried to sit up, but invisible arms may as well have pushed me back down.
She sat on the coffee table in front of the couch, elbows on her knees, palms clasped together. For a moment, she just stared at me. She was a little blurry through my glazed vision.
“So you think you’re going to leave me, huh?” she asked casually, keeping her gaze directed at mine.
“N-no,” I mumbled. “I only said that w-when I was mad.”
“Oh,” she said long and sarcastically, “so it was a joke, huh?”
I said nothing.
“Well, then, why don’t I give you an experience you’ll never forget? One that’ll make you never want to leave me?”
The experience didn’t cause me to change my mind about leaving her, but it was certainly one I’d never forget. I hated to admit it, but I loved every second of the sex we had that night, which began on the couch and ultimately ended up in the bedroom. When she wasn’t rough, she was easily the most skilled and creative lover I’d ever had. She brought me to an ecstasy I never knew existed, totally beyond my imagination until the first time we were intimate. Past lovers had almost always left me feeling either inadequate or unsatisfied, but Kya satiated my desires like a cold drink quenches one’s thirst. The sedatives prevented me from putting up much resistance, but she had me feeling so wonderful that I really didn’t want to resist anyway. I simply relaxed and went with the flow, allowing her to take me at her will and to do with me as she pleased. Worst of all was knowing that Kya knew I was loving everything she did to me that night. I vowed, however, to make it our last night of intimacy no matter what.
“Well, this wonderful night together has certainly worn me out,” she said close to midnight. “I gotta crash now, and you cannot be trusted.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just what I said.” She got up and took something from the other side of the room. I was still too dizzy to lift my head up. Besides, the room was too dim to see much anyway. I didn’t need to, though. I’d find out all too soon just what she meant when I saw the flash of silver and heard the clicking of the handcuffs as she opened them.
“Oh, come on. You don’t have to do this. Where am I going to go in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere?”
“Sorry, girl. I’m not taking any chances.”
I squirmed and tried to pull away, but it was hopeless. My strength was no match for hers. She grabbed one of my wrists and snapped one end of the cuffs on it, then cuffed the other end to the railing-like headboard.
“I’ll keep you up all night if you do this!” I threatened.
“Yeah?” she said, hovering over me. “Well, then I’ll just have to beat your little ass again. How’s that sound?” She stared down at me, leaning on her fisted hands. After a moment, she asked, “Why don’t you look at me when I speak to you?”
“Because I was taught that it’s rude to stare at people for any length of time.”
“Oh,” she said, not moving an inch. “Do you always do what people teach you to do?”
I remained still and silent. Once again, she had overpowered me, rendering me helpless. She slowly smiled—a smile that said she was happy to know this, too—before she went around and slid into her side of the bed.
“Don’t wake me up unless you have to use the bathroom, understand?”
“Fine,” I said, weak with defeat.
She reached up and clicked off the overhead lamp, plunging the room into darkness. There was no moon, making it seem even darker than usual. I saw nothing. No shapes, no shadows. Nothing but darkness. I could only begin to guess where the bathroom door was, though I knew my way around in the dark quite well by now.
I shifted my body, trying to get comfortable while being very careful not to rattle the part of the cuffs that were hooked to the headboard. That was when I realized she had cuffed me around the wrist loose enough that I could’ve squeezed my hand free if I wanted to, and believe me, I wanted to! However, I wasn’t about to do something just to fail. I knew that now wasn’t the time to make any daring escapes. That would have to wait till either when Kya wasn’t home or when we were out and about somewhere. I closed my eyes, hoping for sleep and that I wouldn’t have to endure the humiliation of having to wake her so I could use the bathroom. Who knew how she’d take to that anyway? Oh, why didn’t I see this coming back in jail!
ns216.73.217.39da2
and then Add to home screen.