J'onn J'onzz was a Martian.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKFkBqHVND
He had recently arrived on Earth and was still trying to adjust to the planet’s pace of life and its tangled web of human interactions.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5BobNKLEi
But... he was broke.
Rent on Earth was outrageous.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOZhQOHJ01
Food was bland and overpriced.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfj1GqZDtqp
Even invisibility cloaks had to be hunted down online on clearance.
So, J’onn quietly posted his detective credentials online and started taking on small investigative jobs to scrape together a living.
Today, a new case came in.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxfckvEwGB
A woman wanted him to investigate her boyfriend.
J’onn sipped a cup of suspiciously cheap Earth coffee as he browsed the file. He nodded to himself—this kind of case was his specialty.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlXaxnYPV3A
Too many women had been lied to, used, and left heartbroken. They came to him in tears.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnLYsGRerx
And he always listened patiently, investigated without judgment, and delivered the truth.
Until he saw the name.
—Jason Todd.
J’onn blinked.
His Martian brainwaves spiked.
He knew that name.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIbCxbQF6d
If he remembered correctly… wasn’t that—238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvKWJICT4x
One of the Bat Family?238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKenmZCifH1
The guy who died and somehow came back?
J’onn fell into a thoughtful silence.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GjYkCVvCw
This case... might be trickier than expected.
After a long pause, he made a decision: better check in with the Bat Family first.
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Tim nearly spilled his coffee all over his keyboard when he received J’onn’s message.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG54UAgjkpD
He stared at it. Read it again. Then again.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj5DSZ1Gpj
Like it was a harbinger of doom.
The message was short:
"Tim, I’ve taken a case recently. Client is a human female—name confidential.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8nN3i9JfG
She’s asked me to investigate a man named Jason Todd.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUy9NKvqiw
...Would your Bat Family like to explain why I’m receiving this kind of complaint?"
Tim couldn’t breathe.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPW1uQ4aYP
—As if the whole “sister situation” wasn’t enough, now a Martian wanted answers?
He was about to respond when another message came in:
"Seriously though. Your Bat Family should really stop… mistreating women.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfouEZFOaH
Just a suggestion."
Tim: “…”238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jWIX0kxJI
He slowly set the phone down, laced his fingers together, and pressed his hands to his forehead.
This was bad.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xaXAfDLUc
This was really bad.
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Tim knew he couldn’t handle this alone.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUoUqVpsPS
This wasn’t a storm one person could weather.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vTi1tB6jI
If Jason and Leila really broke up over this—238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh803ckxk3z
If it was his decision that set it in motion—238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4c560yfYx
He couldn’t bear that weight.
So he did the reasonable thing:238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAZp0IjqOO
He summoned everyone else in the Batcave.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE98midEZcv
Let them share the moral burden.
Taking a deep breath, Tim sat down like a defense attorney in court, hands steepled in front of him:238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmHjsIalBu
“So. What do we do now?”
Damian snorted, arms crossed like the embodiment of disdain.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7REr0nrFe
“A room full of morons.”
Dick stood with hands on hips, clearly offended by the J’onn.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7vp9dS8cl
“There’s a Martian in this now? And what’s with that line—‘stop mistreating women’? Is he implying something about someone?”
Steph was twisting the bandage on her wrist thoughtfully.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpon1QBqfid
“I think—” she said slowly, “we give a little nudge.”
Everyone turned to look at her.
Steph shrugged, voice as casual as discussing breakfast options:238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRrRME6MxJu
“Think about it. We drop just enough hints. Let Leila connect the dots herself.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YH7kYGaZ2
That way, she discovers the truth.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAEWkTukqu
No one lied. No one broke trust. It’s all… natural.”
Her grin turned mischievous.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvkm0ZYknY
“She figures out he’s the Red Hood—238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPE5nLEHvrK
Boom. Jason gets the girl.”
Something clicked.
In the minds of everyone present, a plan began to take shape.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwn7ekf46eZ
A new blueprint, unfolding in the golden light of conspiracy.
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At the same time, J’onn received a reply from Tim.
The tone was sincere. The language precise.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kk6qsVgcn
It even ended with a polite Earth phrase:
“I hope this information helps with your report.”
The file stated that after cross-checking records, there was no evidence that Jason Todd had any involvement with other women.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgNQ2ID9jB
However, the owner of the Iceberg Lounge—a certain Red Hood—had been seen frequently in contact with the same subject.
J’onn hesitated.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQkElXECoT
Then, as a professional, he forwarded the results to his client.
He had enough experience to know that when it came to Earth women and this kind of news, there were usually three reactions: silence, crying, or immediate case cancellation.
But this time, an hour later—238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wJjnzUfLq
He received a new message.
Two new objectives:238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JidRoHT8q
Investigate Red Hood.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkMpADwWzU
Determine whether Jason Todd might be gay.
J’onn stared at the word “gay” for three long seconds.
His Martian soul died a little inside.
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Suddenly, he missed Mars.
He really, truly wanted—238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x5dheq2Jj
Needed—to leave this chaotic planet.
This blue ball of gossip, drama, and impossibly tangled social ties.
He looked at the new requests.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCCB4lxWZ4L
Sat in silence.238Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvxP3S1H4A
Set down his tea.
And then calmly forwarded the entire client chat and screenshots to Tim.
With one final message:
“I’m done. This is your family’s problem now.”
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and then Add to home screen.