Sitting down deep beneath the surface, feasting on the angst of teenagers and wrath of kings, lay the Grumpet.
Boy, did the Grumpet hate being misunderstood.
How did the Grumpet come to be? No one knew exactly. One day, the moat around the castle was a normal, every day moat. And the day after that, it was a normal, every day moat, as well.
…plus one Grumpet.
What did the Grumpet do?
Judged, mostly. Also, fed off the emotions of those who walked by, but that’s neither here nor there.
No, mainly, the reason why people were afraid to look into the moat as they walked over the bridge to see the governor, was that they couldn’t explain it…but they felt a sense of very strong sense of judgment coming at them from beneath the surface. You know, the type you feel when you choose not to sing a hymn at church.
And the Grumpet, well, he knew all those people were feeling the weight of his judgments. That didn’t bother him one bit. He just sat there, watched them eye the water suspiciously, and thought to himself, “Harrumph. They ought to have more consideration for their fellow man.”
Deep down, they got the message. Deep down, they knew the Grumpet was right.
But they kept right on walking. They didn’t change a thing about their paltry lives.
And so, the Grumpet kept right on judging. And they kept right on dreading crossing that foot bridge, without really understanding why.
Until, of course, the day that Esther and the RLS came across the bridge, hand in hand, to see the governor.
But how is it that they went from being mortal enemies to walking hand in hand?
Sit down, dear reader. Make yourself some tea or refill your coffee. It’s a good story, but I’ll need some time to tell it.
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Since the dawn of time—
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I’m just kidding. Good Lord. The story’s not actually that long. This is a serial.
As you’ll recall, when last we left our heroine, as well as the RLS, they were both heading towards the castle, in pursuit of a just ruling from the governor. Esther, because she was sick of being harassed on her own land. The RLS, because he was misinformed and thought she was going to give him a bad review on a performance of Hamlet. In any case, they were headed in the same direction, and the RLS knew, but Esther didn’t.
She wouldn’t have, either, if the RLS had been able to keep his back half from knocking into so much shrubbery. However, when you are a long amphibian—all the more so because you are an RLS—guess what? You don’t have eyes back there to see where you’re going. You knock into things—comes with the territory. So the RLS made a terrible commotion, and Esther turned around, quite unafraid, to see what on God’s green earth could possibly be making so much noise.
When she spied the RLS, she actually wasn’t afraid. He looked different in the morning light, and his eyes were pretty and inquisitive. She’d had some time to consider his rendition of Hamlet as well, and besides it being very queer that an RLS would quote Shakespeare, she found his performance on point.
And so she crouched down, so as not to scare him, and beckoned him forward with a single finger.
The RLS, never having been treated kindly by a human before, broke down in tears of bliss. Very, very, slow tears that mainly made its eyes sparkle.
Could it be? Was it possible that his rendition of Hamlet had been…up to snuff? Could it be that his trouble with humans was over?
There was only one way to find out.
Ecstatic, he leapt forward and into her arms. Oh, to have a patron! Life was suddenly good again.
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Though Esther had intended to be kind to the RLS, he was a Rather Large Salamander, and she was a tiny little girl. It wasn’t going to end well for her.
Quick as a wink, she dodged to the side, causing the RLS to crash into a berry bush.
“Not to be rude,” she called out to him from the side, “but what are you doing? Haven’t you taken physics? Look at me! I can’t support your body weight! Don’t you ever try to jump into my arms like that again.”
Sheepish, the RLS apologized. “No, of course not. Amphibians aren’t required to take science courses—only Shakespeare. Didn’t you know that? I thought everyone knew that.”
“Shakespeare?” said a very confused Esther.
“Shakespeare!” repeated the RLS. “Like…Hamlet?”
Esther thought hard.
“Is that why you recited that poem?”
The RLS could hardly believe his ears. He began to pace back and forth anxiously.
“Do you—? Are you saying—? Do you mean that—?” the RLS sputtered. “Do you mean to tell me you don’t even know who Shakespeare is?”
Esther shook her head. “‘Fraid not,” she said. “Why should I? Is he famous?”
Flabbergasted, the RLS turned and continued walking in the direction of the palace. “Walk with me,” he said. “Allow me to complete your education, my dear young human. There’s much for you to learn.”
Shrugging, and glad to have some company as she walked towards the castle, Esther gladly followed him, and they began to talk.
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and then Add to home screen.