“I don’t know what it is,” Lorella later told her friend Shalinda on the phone. “There’s just something about her.”
“Oh, please, Lorella. Don’t waste your time on this. She’s your probation officer, for God’s sake!”
“Yes, I know,” she told the plain but intelligent black girl. “That’s probably why I’m attracted to her. Notice how it’s always the ones who are straight, taken, famous, or otherwise off-limits that I seem to fall for?”
“I’ve noticed,” her friend said, though not without a bit of humor in her voice. “And you couldn’t care less about those who want you.”
“You got it.”
“Someday. Someday you’ll meet your Miss Right. There’s someone for everyone, gay or straight. I really do believe that.”
“Do you? Do you think you’ll meet your Mr. Right?” Lorella asked.
“Eventually. But if I don’t meet him by the time I’m forty, then I’ll begin to wonder.”
Lorella chuckled.
The two had been friends since elementary school. People were often surprised to learn that they were friends because of how different they were from one another. They didn’t look anything alike, nor did they share many of the same interests. Shalinda was straight and rather homely-looking. Lorella sometimes wondered if that was why she was still single, with only a few unplanned one-night stands on her list of experiences, despite the fact that she would soon be twenty-six. It saddened Lorella to see someone with such an outgoing and honest personality have to spend so much time alone simply because she was a bit heavy. Shalinda wasn’t big on styles and fashions, and she wore her short, dirty blond hair in a simple way. No style, no perms, no fuss, she had always said. She said the same thing about makeup, insisting that it would only cause her to get wrinkles and age faster.
“How’s your mom and dad doing?” Lorella asked a moment later.
“Still fighting. I don’t think they’re ever going to reconcile.”
“That’s too bad.”
“How’s your sister taking this probation thing, by the way? She must feel so bad about it since it’s her kid that was involved.”
“She does, and even though I told her not to, she’s insisting on paying part of the monthly probation fees.”
“At least you got yourself some eye candy out of it.”
“At least,” Lorella agreed as the two erupted into laughter.
As the days passed, Lorella half-hoped, half-expected Madison would come to her apartment before their second appointment. Instead, it was business as usual with occasional visits to and from friends and family, as well as evening phone chats.
She found it hard to concentrate on her work. When trying to decide what to price a particular item that she had for sale, thoughts of Madison would flash through her mind and interrupt her train of thought.
The night before she was scheduled to report, she found herself unable to sleep until three in the morning.
She was both nervous and excited by the time she finally walked into the waiting room and signed in. It felt like more than two weeks had elapsed since she had been there.
After signing in, she turned and surveyed the room. This time, there were only two men present. She took a seat and tried not to fidget as she filled out the standard form.
Not long afterward, the door opened and Madison called her name. Lorella rose and walked towards her as she leaned against the door to hold it open, this time clad in a pastel wool skirt and pearl silk blouse. She wore tan leather low-heeled shoes. As tall as she was, Lorella couldn’t picture her in high-heeled shoes of any kind. It just wouldn’t look right on her.
Sucking on a piece of hard candy, Madison said, “How’re you doing?”
“Fine,” Lorella said with a smile.
Keeping her expression neutral, Madison motioned for her to follow her.
Lorella was impressed by Madison’s calf muscles as she followed her down to her office.
Madison sat at her desk, and Lorella sat in the same chair as last time.
Wordlessly, Madison flipped open the large notebook before her and studied it for a moment. Then she jotted something down.
Lorella spotted a blur of movement from the corner of her eye and turned her head in time to see the stocky guy with the cap pass by.
She turned back to face Madison.
Madison looked up at her a moment later. “Any changes I should know about?”
“No, none that I can think of.”
Madison reached out a hand to take her form. Lorella gave it to her, and she studied it a moment. “Okay, then. See you back here in two weeks.”
Lorella rose, surprised at how brief the encounter had been compared to the last time. She was even more surprised to find herself a little disappointed to have to leave so soon. “Take care.”
Never once losing her neutral expression, Madison said, “You, too.”
Later that afternoon on the phone…
“So how did it go?” asked Shalinda.
“Very fast.”
“Oh, did it?”
“I was in and out. All she did was take my form and ask if there were any changes she should know about. When I told her there wasn’t, she said she’d see me back there in two weeks. End of story.”
“Hmmm,” Shalinda said thoughtfully. “Well, maybe she’ll spend a little more time with you once she comes to see you. Maybe in a less formal setting, she’ll feel like chatting more, though I still say it’s a waste of time, Lorella. I don’t mean to sound negative, I just don’t want to see you hurt by getting your hopes up for nothing.”
“Being realistic isn’t being negative, and I know you are being realistic. It’s just that it’s not that easy to tell myself not to think of her and of getting to know her, even though I know nothing could ever come of it.”
“I’m sure it’s hard. I’ve been there before, having to try to forget or at least not think about those I couldn’t have simply because I’m heavy and want to have a family. A large family, that is. Instead of living the old-fashioned life, however, I’m a bank teller living all by myself. Funny how life turns out, ain’t it?”
“Yeah, it’s funny, alright,” Lorella agreed. “Not exactly what we planned.”
“I don’t think most of life is what we plan it to be, but not all unplanned things are bad either.”
“True. How’re your folks?”
“Still fighting. Dad came over to the house while I was there, and they got into a screaming match. I just wish my mom wouldn’t be so confrontational. Don’t you think it’s bad to be confrontational, and that things would be more peaceful between them if she weren’t like that?”
“It depends. Sometimes, not being confrontational can produce bad results as well. Those who turn the other cheek without taking a stand for what they firmly believe in can be seen as cowards, and people sometimes take advantage of those who are like that.”
“Yeah, sometimes. But these are my parents, Lorella. Dad’s not doing anything to pick on her, you know? It’s like she’s expecting too much of him. Like he can never do anything right. She’s always got a problem with everything he says and does. I feel so stuck in the middle. They call me up and bitch to me about what the other’s saying or doing, and I don’t want to take sides, of course, so it’s hard. It’s really hard.”
“I’m sure it must be. I can’t say I envy you or that I’d ever want to be caught up in a situation like that. It must be so frustrating.”
“What would you do in a situation like this?”
A knock on the door cut off Lorella’s response.
“Is someone knocking on your door?” her friend asked.
“Yeah, hang on,” said Lorella, crossing the small studio to open the door.
There stood Madison, casually leaning back against the railing a few feet in front of her door and looking wonderful. She smiled as she said, “Hi, Lorella.”
Lorella smiled as well and said, “Shalinda, it’s Madison. I’ll call you back later.”
“Okay, have fun.”
Lorella clicked her cell phone off. “Wow, I didn’t expect you here after having just seen you today at your office.”
Madison entered the studio and said, “Well, that’s the thing with probation, Lorella. You gotta expect the unexpected.”
Lorella chuckled. “I’ll remember that from now on.”
Madison surveyed the studio, glancing quickly into the bathroom as well as the sleeping area. “Been here long?”
“Two years.”
“You like it?”
“So-so. It gets kind of noisy at times. Slamming doors, blaring music, screaming kids, barking dogs. You name it, it’s here.”
Madison’s eyes scanned the items on her shelves. “This your mom and dad?” she asked, pointing to a picture of a middle-aged couple sitting on a sandy beach dotted with palms.
“Yes, it is.”
“You get along with them?”
“Very well.”
“And this?” Madison asked, pointing to another picture in which she had to bend over slightly to see better because of her height. The picture was of a young woman with long dark hair and dark eyes.
“That’s a mistake,” Lorella said.
Madison stood up to her full height and towered over Lorella as her brows knitted curiously.
“That’s my ex,” Lorella casually explained, not realizing she’d given her lesbianism away until it was too late. Although she had always been encouraged to be herself by both family and friends, when it came to law enforcement, even if many women in that field may be lesbian as well, including the one who stood before her, she thought she should be more selective of what she revealed.
But Madison didn’t react one way or another.
“Can I offer you some soda or perhaps a glass of water?”
Madison turned from the shelves and looked at her. “No, that’s okay. You can just fill out the form.”
Lorella took the form and sat at the small table just outside the kitchenette. She was hoping Madison would sit in the other chair, though she remained standing.
Once the form was completed, she rose and handed it to Madison.
“Any changes?” Madison asked her.
“No, not in three hours.”
Even Madison chuckled this time before she strode over to the door. “Have a good night,” she said with what appeared to be a slight wink.
“Thank you. You, too.” Lorella shut the door and leaned back against it. Her hand moved towards her chest. She hadn’t realized how hard her heart had been beating.
Madison left the busy apartment complex as people came and went from various apartments within the complex, as well as to the pool, the dumpster, the office, the laundry room, the parking lot, and God knew where else.
She got in her Jeep and began to back out of Lorella’s assigned parking spot, which had been empty since the girl didn’t have her own car. She was careful not to hit the old lady who was slowly shuffling by, cane in one hand, leash belonging to a little white poodle in the other.
On the road, she thought of her visit with Lorella. So the little beauty queen was a lesbian as well. How amazing. She adored certain women who were petite and feminine, but lesbians weren’t often as feminine as Lorella was. It made Madison wonder if she were perhaps bisexual instead. To each their own, yet Madison couldn’t imagine being bisexual herself. While some said those who were bisexual simply liked the best of both worlds, to her, it would mean not being able to make up your mind as to which gender you preferred. Normally, Madison preferred meeting women who were lesbians, plain and simple. Yet Lorella was so beautiful that she didn’t think it would matter if only they’d met under different circumstances, not that a lovely girl like her would want such a big old horse like herself, who was quite plain looking in comparison.
Lorella’s life seemed more colorful than her own. It seemed simpler yet without any real schedule or set routine. She struck her as the type to not know what she’d be doing from one day to the next until that day actually came. Her life, on the other hand, might be dull at times, but it was predictable, comfortable, and usually uneventful.
What made Lorella so appealing was her sweet, innocent-looking features and her large, round doe eyes. Sure, she had a great body and a beautiful mane of hair, but it was the face that mattered most to Madison because it was the face you mostly saw. She’d rather have a good face on a less attractive body than a plain or homely face on a cute little figure such as Lorella had.
“Lorella, Lorella, Lorella,” Madison muttered aloud as she pulled onto her street. “What have you done to me, and in such a short time?”
Madison entered her place a few minutes later and closed the door behind her. A sense of loneliness, which she wasn’t used to, seemed to fall upon her. She stood in the center of the room and pictured Lorella there with her, too. Lorella on the living room couch. Lorella in the kitchen. Lorella happily running through sprinklers in the backyard on a sunny, hot afternoon. Lorella in the bedroom, sprawled out naked on the bed, legs spread invitingly…
Stop it, you fool! she chided herself. What’s gotten into you? Regardless of appearance, you’ve got work to do.
She fixed herself a light dinner and then fired up her computer. She was pretty tight with the judge who had sentenced Lorella, and she was going to be receiving a letter from her soon enough. Not only did Madison believe Lorella’s story about her niece swiping the cough syrup, despite all the people she’d met who had cried innocence, but she simply didn’t feel the girl belonged on probation. She knew deep down that she was trying to hurry the girl off probation so she could open up other potential opportunities, though she still felt as firmly as she did on the issue. And so she began to type up a standard form letter which most probation and parole officers used when submitting recommendations to judges for either cut probation time or an extension for those who kept messing up along the way. Ignorant, stubborn clients who just couldn’t seem to learn, no matter how often they were warned or jailed.
When she was done, she sat back and read the brief letter. Satisfied, she printed it out.
Lorella showed up to report with her hair done up in lots of little braids. Madison thought it looked good, what with how long her hair was, but so as to maintain an air of impersonal professionalism, she didn’t say anything. Especially when others were present. Even so, while she may never be able to speak her mind directly to Lorella, she didn’t miss a thing. She savored every too-short moment they spent together. As she’d heard many say before – if you couldn’t have, at least enjoy a good look when you can.
“How are you today, Lorella?” Madison asked as Lorella sat in her usual seat.
“Okay, and you?”
“I’m okay.” She flipped open the notebook and said, “Well, I’ve got some bad news and some good news.”
“You do?” Lorella asked, heartbeat picking up in pace.
Madison nodded. I’ve known the judge who sentenced you for many years, and I sent in a recommendation to have your probation terminated early. However, despite her trust in my judgment, she won’t grant a dismissal, but she’s agreed to cut one month off the sentence so long as there are no violations or problems of any kind.”
“Oh,” said a pleasantly surprised Lorella. “Well, that’s certainly better than nothing. Thanks for speaking out on my behalf. I really appreciate it.”
Madison noted the sincerity and the gratitude in Lorella’s smile. She couldn’t help but smile in return. A moment later, she said, “You’ll be off probation before you know it. Two months is nothing compared to some people who have years to do. Some are even on it for a lifetime. Intense probation, that is, not standard.”
Lorella seemed to shiver in her seat. “God, I couldn’t imagine being on probation for life, intense or not. I’d run for sure if I didn’t kill myself.”
Madison smiled, charmed by the girl’s honesty. She glanced down at her file and said, “So, you’re from New York, huh?”
Lorella nodded.
“What’s it like there?”
“Well, the grass sure is greener on that side of the country, that’s for sure.”
“I’ll bet it is. But isn’t it really humid there too?”
“It is. And it’s often quite cold and snowy. It seems like most of the people I’ve met out here come from somewhere else. Is that the case with you, too?” Lorella asked.
“I was born in Arizona, but raised in California.”
“Oh, that’s not too far from here.”
“What brought you out here?” Madison asked.
“My father’s brother died when I was eight years old. He had owned a general merchandise store. You know Taylor’s Merchandise down on Main Street?”
Madison nodded.
“My folks have owned it ever since. My sister’s been heavily involved in the store as well, but I decided it’d be best to work on my own as I do. They don’t mind.”
Becoming business-like once again, Madison asked if there were any changes.
“No, no changes.”
“Got your form?”
“Mmm-hmm.” Lorella handed it to her.
After giving it a once-over and scribbling something down on the bottom of the form, Madison said, “Okay, Lorella. You’re free to go.”
Lorella stood up, almost unhappy to go, and headed out to the bus stop.
“I’m really beginning to wonder now,” mused Shalinda one early afternoon as she and Lorella sat out on her balcony.
“Wonder what?” asked Lorella, sipping from her can of strawberry soda.
“Well, maybe she does like you, too. At least it sounds like she might, from what you’ve told me. Ever think of that possibility? I mean, I don’t see why she wouldn’t. You’re nice, you’re attractive, so what’s not to like about you if she’s gay, too?”
Lorella shrugged. “I’m not going to go assuming anything. Assumptions could only lead me to get my hopes up for nothing. The last thing I want to do is play myself for a fool.”
“I hear you on that one. I hear you. Besides, no matter who likes who, she’s still your PO and you’re still her client.”
They chatted a while longer, then Lorella rose to leave. “Thanks for the soda, pal. However, I think it’s time I got back and went for a swim before checking my emails to see what orders came in that I’ll have to drag down to the post office tomorrow.
“That must be such a pain with no car.”
“That’s why I only ship twice a week. It’s okay. It beats having to deal with all the hassles and expense cars bring.”
“They are quite a costly headache, that’s for sure. Especially with gas prices so out of control,” her friend agreed. “Have a good swim.”
“I will.”
Walking back in the warm sunshine from Shalinda’s apartment complex to her own, Lorella thought of what Shalinda had said. Was it possible? Could it really be true that Madison may like her as well?
Oh, well, she thought to herself. What good would it do me if she did? She’s probably taken, PO or not.
An hour later, Lorella got out of the pool. She wrung her hair out and dried off, picked up her keys from one of the shaded tables, and headed back to her apartment.
She had just rounded the corner where the laundry room was when she saw her heading towards the parking lot.
“Madison!” Lorella cried out.
Madison stopped and turned to look behind her. Hurrying towards her was her star client, obviously coming from the pool. She wore a red towel wrapped around her waist and a black bikini top with gold glitter. Sexy.
“Hey there,” Madison said. “Guess I almost missed you.”
Now just a few feet away, Lorella said, “You said to expect the unexpected, and so I sort of expected you to stop by, which I thought meant that you really wouldn’t, so I went for a swim.”
Madison laughed. It was the first time Lorella had ever seen her do so. She’d briefly laughed a few times before, but this was true, hearty laughter.
“Either way,” Lorella added, “I needed a break from all the stupid email questions.”
“You get a lot of stupid email questions, do you?”
Lorella nodded as she inserted her key into her door. “They ask if particular items come from a smoke-free home when my site specifically says they do.”
Madison smiled, remembering having read that when she checked out the site herself a few weeks ago. “You have a nice little electronic store.”
Caught off guard, Lorella asked, “Ah, so you’ve been to it?”
“Yeah, I checked it out. I like those cute little fairy and ballerina figurines you’ve got.”
“They’re nice, aren’t they? I have those drop-shipped.” Now in the apartment, Lorella asked, “Mind if I get a drink first? I’m dying of thirst.”
“No, go right ahead.”
She headed into the kitchenette. “Want anything?”
“No, thank you.”
Madison quickly eyed Lorella from head to toe, then turned to glance around her as she drank a glass of water. Was that a blush she was seeing?
When she set the cup down on the counter, Madison handed her the clipboard with forms attached to it. “Been keeping out of trouble?”
“As always.” She filled out the form and handed it to Madison.
Moving towards the door, Madison told her to be good and to take care.”
Lorella smiled warmly. “You, too.”
Madison let herself out, and she rose to lock the door behind her.
Maybe she really did like her after all, just as Shalinda had suggested.
“I think she just may have a little thing for me. Can you believe it?”
“My goodness, Madison, I’ve never heard you talk like this,” her long-time friend, Mashonda, told her over the phone later on that evening.
Madison laughed.
“So, tell me more about this wonderful client of yours. Are you sure she’s really innocent?”
“No, I’m not sure, but I’d be willing to bet just about anything that she is. She certainly seems sincere, and I’m usually pretty good at reading people.”
Madison and her friend chatted for hours that evening, her friend warning her, in the end, to use her better judgment.
Lorella continued to make her visits to Madison, and Madison dropped in on her at least once a week. They stuck to business, only making occasional comments about things like the weather.
Lorella’s attraction to her probation officer continued to grow, much to her dismay, for she truly believed that a relationship was entirely out of the question and had no reason to assume otherwise.
The final visit with Madison came all too soon.
“Well, now,” Madison said with a smile from behind her desk, “I guess this is it.”
“I guess it is,” Lorella said, rising from her chair.
Madison studied Lorella’s features, then said, “I’m surprised. I thought you’d be happier than you seem.”
“Oh, I’m happy. I’m plenty happy to be off probation. It’s just that…”
“Just that what?” asked Madison, mystified.
Lorella hesitated. “I don’t want to get you mad at me.”
“You won’t. Here, sit back down and tell me about it.”
Lorella sat down, heart now pounding in her chest. Why did she have to open her mouth? She shook her head. “I can’t.”
“Can’t what?”
Lorella looked nervously towards the open door. No one was in sight. She took a deep breath and said. “Well, it’s just that sometimes we meet people that seem really cool.”
“And?” asked Madison, studying Lorella intently.
“And it’s sort of under the wrong circumstances. Know what I mean?”
A woman appeared in the doorway, sparing Lorella from making any more of a fool of herself than she’d already begun to.
“Sorry to interrupt you, Madison,” the woman said quickly.
“Yes?”
“You’ve got a rather urgent phone call you’ll want to take right away.”
“Okay, put it through.”
Lorella rose from her seat once again.
“Good luck, Lorella,” said Madison as she reached for her phone.
“Thank you,” Lorella said, then she left the building and caught the bus home.
ns216.73.216.190da2
and then Add to home screen.