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Lena sat beside me in class today.62Please respect copyright.PENANA4tFWcAJbNM
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She leaned over and asked, “You okay?”
I said, “Yeah, just tired.”62Please respect copyright.PENANAUZXBg0cuPH
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She smiled like that was enough.62Please respect copyright.PENANA1FH5zQKwrm
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I smiled back — the kind you practice in mirrors so nobody asks twice.
It worked. It always does.
Later, Eli dropped something in the group chat. A plan. Movies, drinks, the usual Saturday noise.62Please respect copyright.PENANALQgrOyKIiO
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Everyone reacted. I gave it a thumbs up, muted the chat, and closed the app like it burned to hold it.
I don’t hate people. I just hate feeling like I don’t exist around them.62Please respect copyright.PENANARNZMG60avs
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Even when I’m there, fully present, it still feels like I’m watching my life from behind glass.
I listen to people laugh and wonder what it feels like to actually mean it.62Please respect copyright.PENANAh9VJpZvRmN
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I speak when I have to. I show up when it matters.62Please respect copyright.PENANAdDM4uoiEQi
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But everything I say feels like I’m lip-syncing someone else’s life.
It’s not that I want anyone to chase me.62Please respect copyright.PENANABY4Tdmumat
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I just want someone to notice that I’m drifting.62Please respect copyright.PENANAFVRykqrN1i
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Someone to stop smiling and actually look me in the eyes and say,
62Please respect copyright.PENANAu8G1cE4ReL“Something’s wrong. Don’t lie to me.”62Please respect copyright.PENANA7Y9faha55h
But no one ever does.62Please respect copyright.PENANAmSyn7SjwdS
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They believe the smile. They always believe the smile.
And I don’t blame them.62Please respect copyright.PENANAMv9xnRxVre
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I’ve made it easy.
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I left my journal open on purpose this time.62Please respect copyright.PENANAFItvX2wFD7
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Page bookmarked.62Please respect copyright.PENANAvjRDM9Xx7Y
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Highlighting one line I hoped someone would read:
62Please respect copyright.PENANAzxb3NRcyGS“If you’re reading this, I don’t want to disappear quietly.”62Please respect copyright.PENANAThBJT2PfrE
I didn’t lock my room when I left.62Please respect copyright.PENANAtHHsBCwjSP
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I just want to see who actually comes looking.
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Thank you for reading. If this felt real to you, follow for the issue 3— I’m just getting start
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Issue 3 drops in [like “2 days”]
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