I'd been on edge since Fajr.
When the email came in last night, I thought it was a mistake. A glitch in the scheduling system. An error someone in HR would correct by morning.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAAPzbVgpL
But then the revised weekly schedule hit my inbox a few minutes later. Every meeting with Imran—gone.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKQsQn6drK
Replaced with joint sessions, team strategy reviews, and onboarding syncs... all with Lamija Begović.
I stared at my calendar for a full five minutes, just waiting for it to shift back.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12NdhGTQiO
It didn't.
I prayed Fajr at the masjid near my apartment, the one with peeling blue paint and a heater that hummed too loudly.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCWsxmLA2p
I needed the quiet. I needed the grounding.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jQlUMWLIa
I tried to focus during sujood, whispered du'a between breaths.
Ya Allah... make me enough.
On the drive to the office, I didn't play Qur'an like usual.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyq8rcNmh2
Just silence.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVARNDptyN
Sarajevo was still half-asleep, the city bathed in that cold, pre-sunlight stillness.
Zehira texted me just before I pulled into the lot:
Zehira: Good luck, ljubavi. You'll be brilliant.
It almost made me smile.
Even her mother knew what a difficult woman she'd raised.
I should've gone upstairs.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5Q2Irw0F5
Should've taken the elevator straight to the top floor and stepped into whatever version of hell this week would be.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL95nDWPtc8
But instead, I turned left.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1xg98sIe0
Down to the garage level.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjbxVMg7Zw
To the drivers' lounge.
The room was empty, but warm.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtett2lbVM
It smelled like diesel and stale coffee and those cheap Bosnian cigarettes my father used to chain-smoke.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsoEOG9rIf
I closed the door gently behind me and leaned against it.
This place had barely changed.
Same cracked leather couches.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZV5A4ajM9
Same humming vending machine.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcghyDJsLp
Same half-faded poster about snow chain protocols.
I walked over to the corner where the lockers used to be.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEZQZGYTwD
My father's would've been three from the end.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sJjMiRraI
He used to let me sit in his truck while he checked in with dispatch.
That's where I first saw her.
Lamija was fourteen.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1wXxaD2OLA
Bright scarf knotted under her chin.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3L1GAvfsSJ
Boots too clean for the garage.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡry04Kin8hB
She walked in with a box of new company merch to hand out to the drivers—hats, hoodies, branded mugs.
I was gone the moment I saw her.
She handed a jacket to my father.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1uNBri8od
Then looked at me.
"You're Ibrahim's boy?" she asked.
I nodded, ears burning.
The cap she put on my head was comically big.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6W3e42hwu
I could barely see past the brim.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQqwouGhEyJ
She grinned anyway.
"Looks good on you."
My father chuckled as she walked away.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUfCC0JrEVX
"Little boss got good taste," he said, ruffling my hair.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjrOtuq1q1
"Careful, Ayub. That one's trouble."
I still have that cap.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63ZA2pm48d
Buried in a box in the back of my closet.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNtvxepvXN
Never wore it again, but I couldn't bring myself to throw it away.
My father died a few months later.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMy0vV6g26D
Rain-slick road. A sharp turn just past Visoko.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPDTqdPsJ1
They found the truck wrapped around a concrete barrier.
I still remember the knock on the door.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qeusWX1B0
The way my mother cried without sound.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4k9hBGzrlm
The way she remarried four months later like my father was a chapter she could close and shelve.
Her new husband didn't want baggage.
I was the baggage.
She left me with my uncle, a man who only tolerated me because he shared a last name with my father. The house was cold even when the heaters were on. I ate alone. Slept with the door locked. Did laundry by hand because no one thought to show me the machine.
Zehira Begović started asking around.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSdnVYmEoU
In the masjids.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eLck0FGyu
At the community center.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT4svhuZfT
Where is Ibrahim's son? Who has him?
She showed up at my uncle's door like a storm in a silk hijab.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PK16Oi8N0
I still remember the way she pushed past him without waiting for permission.
"Get your things, Ayub. You're coming with me."
And just like that, I did.
I was sixteen when I moved into the Begović house.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJS29qJ2ZO
I stayed for two years.
Imran took me in like a brother.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsn4RI1btwa
But what their parents gave me—that was something else entirely.
They gave me status.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55hgSyiiM6
Access.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUJOOFbMHQ
An education I never dreamed of affording.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63lozQq8OC
Tutors. Travel.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU5EUyc0H8g
A desk in the corner of the estate library stocked with everything I needed.
They treated me like a son—not just with warmth, but with investment.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5fKwAqb34
The kind you pour into a future you believe in.
Even now, they're the closest thing I have to parents.
And Lamija...
Lamija was fire and gravity and sharpness in human form.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkBtzJBwyu
I learned quickly to keep my distance.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrxtsWj0hx
To look, but not linger.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYbXP1Cvq2
To admire quietly and never, ever want too much.
I sat down on the old couch near the window.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uK3hNf5QP
Closed my eyes.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJREFKlG6wM
Spoke softly into the space like I used to do when I was a boy sitting in the truck.
"Babo... they want me to work under her now."
I swallowed.
"She's not that little girl anymore. She runs an entire division.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIispo91Vi7
And I'm terrified — not of the work, but of falling short of the man they believe I am.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcpashifZL
The one she expects."
The silence pressed against my chest.
"I miss you."
I sat there a little longer, until my throat stopped burning.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dJcbHOpGg
Then I pulled my shoulders back and headed for the elevator.
The executive floor was mostly dark when I arrived.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZFRKxNxNx
No chatter. No phones ringing.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfldwERW1v
Just the soft hum of the lights and the faint click of my own shoes.
Everyone knew Imran started early.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6T7AS3C0fw
Too early.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfdmbUkOFY
He was probably already in his office, sipping bitter coffee and reviewing shipping reports.
I wasn't ready to face him yet.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJtsJr9mmq
Not until I figured out how to say it without sounding like a coward.
My new desk was in the operations wing—closer to Lamija's glass-encased office.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vwpRbwu54
Front row seats to the storm.
I dropped my bag onto the desk and pulled out my tablet.
The welcome packet was already open—color-coded folders, division performance graphs, open contracts.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdBms4CBAn
She was nothing if not thorough.
There was a note at the bottom of one file:
Review before the 10am sync. Come prepared. –L.B.
Short. Sharp. Efficient.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OKut8djgO
Pure Lamija.
I opened the file.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjcvF7hsON
My stomach knotted.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf84rbYyOvK
Not because I couldn't do it—but because I'd spent years trying to keep my distance.
And now I was being asked to stand beside her, hold my own, and pretend I wasn't still the boy who remembered the way she said,83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUXXEq9iy6
"Looks good on you."
I stared at the screen until the lines blurred.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ796x3slFZ5
Then I stood. Slowly. Quietly.
And turned down the hall toward Imran's office.
I didn't knock.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilJXGOsOJq
Not yet.
I just stood outside the door—83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6f43nYwDkv
trying to figure out how to ask the one question I already knew he wouldn't want to answer.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Notes from Ash&Olive:
So. We met Ayub.
He prays, he panics, he trauma-bonds with diesel fumes.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARm8wdNexF
Very on brand for someone who's about to work under a woman who could shatter him with a sentence and then move on with her day.
Is he emotionally prepared for this transition?83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplmx3L9zq2
No.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyohlQuhaeK
Did he try to spiritually process it before opening an Excel sheet?83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs51D7t0WFt
Absolutely.
He's doing his best.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCywwSInGuW
Unfortunately, his best is now being measured against Lamija Begović at 10am sharp.
Pray for him. Again.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4eVMlRA80
Or better yet—leave a comment telling me who you think is going to break first.83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3XwtsmrL47
(It's fine. I already know. I just want to see where your loyalties lie.)
83Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx9mpdVaqD1
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